BRIAN

It’s amazing how small the world becomes when you know things. I knew that I didn’t have to fuck the client because he told me last time they were going with us either way. He just wanted to relieve some stress. I also know Gus is a boy and will become more successful at advertising than me. I know that eventually Mel and I will be friends, when we stop letting Lindsey egg us on. I know what time Justin gets to school everyday. I’ve been stalking Justin a little everyday. I make it a point to drive by his school when he arrives in the morning. I just need to see him. He is usually running in the door so I get a glimpse, to help me get through the rest of this month.

Instead of spending money on clothes and crap, I’ve been having Ted help me invest. I want to be able to open shop sooner, working for someone else isn’t easy when you’ve been your own boss. Because I have been working like a madman, I no longer have time to cater to my ‘best friend’s’ whims. Michael is becoming a pain in my ass. I realize, the first time I let Michael get away with being up my ass, but I have things to do. Michael seems to act like we can’t have lives outside of each other. Part of the problem is that I don’t go out every night anymore. I want to save my liver. The other part is that I’m trying to quit smoking, once on a respirator was enough to know I’m not invincible. Without the nicotine, I have less patience for annoying people, and needy Michael is annoying. 

Michael has been calling ten times a day, because “you're my best friend and you're not spending time with me.” I kid you not, ten. I tried to tell him Deb would probably love to hear from him this many times in a day but that his best friend was working. When that didn’t work I asked if maybe Michael should hang up the phone and wait on the customers, his boss might be more impressed with a sales increase, than with Mikey having separation anxiety. Mikey’s response, “Brian can’t you be serious, all I wanted to do was talk to my best friend, who is always too busy for me lately.”  I’m still trying to figure out how he never got fired for spending all his time on the phone at work. I had to relent and promise to pick him up from work so we could eat together today. I almost want to go back and smack myself for allowing Michael this much latitude the first time. 

I also need to get the key to the loft out of his hand. With me not around, Michael uses it to wait at the loft until I come home. He was actually criticizing me for not having a trick or two with me. That I wasn’t being Brian Fucking Kinney. You know, if I was in love with someone, I doubt I’d be sitting on the sidelines cheering them on, while having to watch them screw someone else. I also wouldn’t sit around outside waiting for that person, so I could drive his drunk ass home. It makes me a shitty friend, but he was the one putting up with it.

I promised myself, not to fall into the trap of my reputation. I still want to trick, but only because it was fun, especially with Justin. Justin won’t be ready for a serious relationship for the first couple years, and I want us to relive some of the fun nights. Even if he doesn’t remember them. 

Tonight is another Woody’s and Babylon night, or in other words Michael, Emmett, and Ted hold up the bar, while living through me. The thing is, I remember the friendships after we started to accept aging. Ted became the person I talked too, Michael was to wrapped up in supporting every cause under the sun. Emmett was my comfort, after Justin was gone. Emmett didn’t come over and tell me anything, we just sat around and talked about anything all night. Ted kept me from running Kinnetik and Babylon into the ground. Michael wanted me to stop grieving Justin and try dating again, he even tried to introduce me to people. I know he thought he was helping but you don’t love the way Justin and I did, twice in a lifetime. I refuse to hurt someone by never being able to give them more, and to me it was cheating on Justin.

Michael called again and told me to pick him up at the store. I asked why I needed to pick him up hours before we went out.  Michael wanted to hang out with just me, before we joined the guys.

“Brian, I want to see my best friend, is that a crime.” Michael tells me.

“What did you want to do for the next six hours?” I know I was sarcastic.

“What is with you lately? Normally you want to hang out.” Michael asks me.

“I just have a lot to do.” I tell him. I almost turned to go to Justin’s school.

I wanted to go by Justin’s school and watch him leave but even I know the school frowns upon grown men stalking the students. I also hated having to watch him get in the car with the fucker Craig. 

“Brian, just fucking pick me up.” Michael tells me.

“On my way, meet me out front.” I tell him. Michael always wants me to come in and introduces me to people he works with. It reminds me of Gus wanting everyone to meet his Dad.

“I have to get my stuff, so just come in.” Michael hangs up before I can say anything else. I hate the Big Q.

I park and sit there waiting and waiting. I finally just get out and walk into my version of hell. Michael is smiling at me and waving for me to come over. I rolled my eyes but proceeded to Michael and his group of cashiers.  I really need to work on Michael’s idea of important people. I hear Marley telling a teen she should just ask the boy out.

“Just go over there, he can’t answer you from over here.” Marley tells her. Michael and Marley smirk at the girl. Michael can be an ass.

“He’s with that girl again.” She tells them. I just want to yell at the boy, to put this girl out of her misery.

“I’m pretty sure they're just friends. They aren’t holding hands or anything.” Michael tells the teen, encouraging her.

“Just go, you’ll never get a boyfriend if you stand here. That’s how I landed my man.” Marley tells her. I want to tell her to look at what Marley landed.

The girl finally gets the courage to walk towards the boy who makes her heart go pitter patter. I watch and want to tell her dragging her feet and looking at the ground isn’t going to make a good impression. I look to see who the unlucky victim is, and, not going to happen, unless Justin suddenly developed a taste for pussy. I watch the train wreck, and want to die of laughter when the girl runs over to Justin and tells him the batteries on aisle five are on sale and runs back. He and Daphne look at each other, I think they’re trying to figure out why they were just offered batteries. 

“Maybe you're good looking friend Brian could teach her how to hit on someone.” I think that was supposed to be flirting on Marley’s part.

“Brian doesn’t have to hit on people, they all hit on him.” Michael says proudly. I wonder how proudly he would say it if I told Marley, guys want me to hit on their asses.

“Yeah all I have to do is smile and they bend over...backwards for a date.” I tell them. I added the last part because Michael looked like he was about to have a coronary.

“Excuse me for a moment, I see a pen I just have to have.” I tell them and head towards Justin.

This is the closest I’ve gotten to him. I walk by and accidently nudge his shoulder. Justin turns to say something but instead just stares at me. Yep, I have what you want. 

“Sorry, I wanted to look at the pen behind you.” I tell him. I crowd him to reach for the Bic.

“It’s, um fine. I could get out of your way.” Justin tells me.

“I like you where you are.” I tell him.

“Um, well, great, I got to go.” Justin blushes but I see the smile I love.

“Justin, you ready? My mom wants me to get the car home.” Daphne, my woman, tells Justin.

“Need a lift?” I offer. I see him transform into the confident man I remember.

“No, but only because your boyfriend seems to be upset.” Justin tells me.

“No boyfriend, unless you want to apply.” I tell him.

Justin smiles and looks me up and down. He slides by me making sure to rub his ass against my hard on. I don’t think I can make it a month, I need to drag his ass to the bathroom.

“Later, hopefully.” Justin whispers and turns around to follow Daphne.

Oh oh, Mikey isn’t happy. I see him staring at me, and twitching his head towards his co-workers. He can get over it, just because he’s hiding, doesn’t mean I want to join him in his closet. I smirk at Marley, “Tell her that’s how you do it. If she wants a date.”

“Brian, you didn’t have to go all pansy. That poor boy must be mortified.” Marley giggles.

Mikey tells me we need to go. I wait for him to go get his stuff, that I had to come inside because of. Instead Mikey walks out the front. Guess it was show off Brian day. I follow him out the door and watch Daphne and Justin getting in her car. Justin turns and waves before getting in, I raise an eyebrow. Daphne takes off out of the parking lot. 

“Brian, I can’t believe you did that in front of everyone. You know I don’t want people to think I’m gay.” Mikey rants at me.

“You know that I don’t give a flying fuck what anybody thinks.” I tell him.

“Well, I don’t have a job where it’s great because you win the account by fucking the client.” Michael snarks at me. 

I know I help Michael to believe that the only way I get an account is by fucking my way to it, but that would only work once in a blue moon. Everyone isn’t gay or even willing, I actually work to win. I’ll never convince Mikey that everyone doesn’t want me.

“Yeah, since the only way for me to get a head in the world is to get head.” I tell him.

“Brian, I didn’t mean it the way it sounds. I just don’t want to screw up my chances at a promotion. Plus that kid was too young for us.” Mikey tells me. Us? Maybe Mikey needs to stop tripping on acid.

“What does his age have to do with us?” I really want to know.

“And since when did you go for blond guys? And he’s not even built.” Mikey just ignores my question.

“He’s fucking hot Mikey.” I tell him.

“You always liked dark hair.” Mikey tells me like he needs to convince me. I notice he’s touching his hair.

“Variety Mikey, you should try it. Maybe if you got laid more often, you wouldn’t worry what Fat Marley the cashier thinks.” I tell him.

“You think I should dye my hair?” Michael asks me. 

I wanted to say it wouldn’t matter if he dyed his hair, learned how to dress, had table manners, or called himself Justin, it wouldn’t change how I feel. Instead of hurting him, I tell him, “Mikey, you have the boy next door look, work with it.”

Mikey leans over to kiss me, I couldn’t help it, I moved so he ended up kissing the seat.