BRIAN

It’s a wonder that I didn’t kill myself being friends with Lindsay and Michael. After the adventure of eating with Michael for two hours and listening to him complain about my performance at the store, I tried to make an excuse to meet later. Instead, Lindsay comes waddling in and tells us we have to go shopping with her. Michael latched on to a reason to hang out together like it was the next issue of Captain Astro. I tried to just offer to pay for the things she just ‘had to have’ but no, even though it wasn’t my idea to have a kid, I needed to be involved. I wanted to ask why Mel got out of the shopping expeditions from hell.

Michael of course used this to tell Lindsay about me almost outing him to the store.

“Can you believe Brian was practically fucking the kid, in front of all my co-workers?” Michael asks Lindsay.

“Michael, it’s the Big Q. Quit if it’s a problem.” I tell him.

“Brian, Michael isn’t really qualified for a lot of jobs.” Lindsay tell us. She smiles to soften the blow, but was she always this big of a bitch?

“I just want a chance to work in management and they aren’t going to want to give it to me if they find out.” Michael tells us. I wonder if he thought Lindsay was complimenting him.

“Brian, for Michael, think with your big head, when you're at the Big Q.” Lindsay tells me.

“I still don’t get was so special about the kid.” Michael tells us.

“Brian, you need to be careful. I don’t want our baby visiting you in prison.” Lindsay tells me.

“I’m sure Mel will bring Gus everyday, so she can point and laugh at me.” I tell her.

“How did you know I wanted to name the baby Gus?” Lindsay asks me. Think Kinney, how do I get out of this?

“You told me.” I tell her.

“Well it’s still between Gus and Abraham.” She tells me.

I really wanted to tell her Abraham wouldn’t last a day in school, but I’ll let Justin do the honors. 

“You know what else, Brian isn’t going out all the time.” Mikey tells us. That’s Mikey, if he doesn’t want to discuss it, he doesn’t hear it.

“I still go out, I just want to get the bonus Ryder is offering for the Ad Exec who lands the most accounts this quarter. I can’t do that if I’m hung over every morning.” I tell him. 

“But you can call Ted all the time and even Emmett told me you’ve been going to the gym with him, instead of me.” Mikey complains.

“Michael your schedule is erratic. I needed to work out, Emmett was able to go.” Am I really having this conversation with an adult?

“Brian, you should spare some time for Michael now, when the baby’s born you're going have to add that to your daily schedule.” Lindsay tells me. Huh, why would I need to add it to my DAILY schedule?

“See Brian, you need to make more time for me.” Mikey whines.

I tell the two life planners I need a drink or ten, and if they want a ride they better get their ass to the car. I start walking towards the exit. Lindsay is complaining that I need to slow down and Michael tells her we have plans and is running ahead of me. I see Jen looking at shirts in a store, look to see which one she’s in. Great, the Gap, I never did get him out of cargo’s. I turn and tell them I’ll be back. 

I walk by Jen and see Molly picking out shirts and showing Jen. Jen shakes her head yes or no. Jen is looking at boys shirts, I know she hated when Justin wore shirts that were tight. I wanted to tell her she was never going to win against her stubborn son. I grabbed a shirt, I remember Justin wearing that first night.

“Here, your kid will need a warm shirt, with winter coming.” I tell a bewildered Jen. I hate flannel but in the case of that shirt, I love why I saw it.

Michael comes in and tells me we were suppose to be going. I had to do one last thing.

“I wanted to tell you, you're a great mother. You're more than your marriage.” I whisper to Jen. She smiles but gives me a puzzled look. I just wanted to tell her that, because if the last time is any indication, Jen needed to hear that before Justin and I turn her world upside down.

“Brian, did you just willingly go into the Gap?” Lindsay asks me.

“Brian is doing all kind of strange things lately.” Mikey tells her.

I manage to get Lindsay to go home, and told Mikey I wanted to change before we went out. I was hoping he would go home, but no, he needed to hang out at the loft. I don’t know why I looked when I was changing, but I see Mikey staring at me getting undressed, he’s looking through the slats. It reminds me of the show about how stalkers start, they play peeping tom. I also need to remember this was when Mikey still thought I wasn’t ready to settle down, so he was my dutiful sidekick. I change and tell him to call Emmett and Ted and tell them to meet us. We walk in to Woody’s and I grab a beer and start looking around, so Mikey won’t complain that I’m not acting like Brian. Mysterious Marilyn smiles at me. I almost wanted to bolt.

“Brian Kinney, interesting aura you have around you.” She tells me.

“It’s called Armani.” I tell her.

“Just be careful, too much change and you won’t get it right this time.” She tells me.

Justin said that, something about getting it right this time. “What happens if I get it wrong?” I ask her. 

“He could still get on that plane.” She tells me and walks away before I can say anything.

“Brian, why are you listening to her.” Mikey tells me. I chase Marilyn, she doesn’t get to walk away from this conversation.

“Tell me what that means. Don’t fucking go all Mysterious on me.” I tell her.

“Justin told you he wouldn’t remember, but he will remember when your choices are the right ones. You get to have all of him back.” She tells me. I let her go.

“Why did you tell me?” I ask her. She never tells you everything.

“I liked him, he isn’t like your love sick puppy over there, I also love the man you were with him.” She pats my cheek and walks away. I let her go.

I want Justin to remember us, but how do I know if my choices are right? 

“You’ll see it in his eyes.” Marilyn whispers in my ear. Damn it how did she get there?

“BRIAN, get over here, stop listening to her.” Michael yells. I turn and kiss Marilyn full on the mouth.

“Always a pleasure Brian.” She smiles.

“Brian are you trying to win all of us queens over?” Emmett teases me.

I couldn’t help it, I hauled Emmett into a bear hug and kissed him too. I get to have Justin, the one who would remember me, back. It’s hard not to scream ‘I love you’ at him, without sounding deranged. 

“Emmett, you know we should go to an Ironman’s game.” I tell him. Drew and Emmett deserve to be together again. Maybe if they meet sooner they can get through the shit together faster.

“Emmett doesn’t like football.” Mikey tells me.

“You like men in tights, right Emmett.” I say to Emmett.

“Baby, I like buns of steel.” Emmett tells me.

“Who doesn’t like buns of steel.” Ted adds dryly.

“Brian used to like men, but lately he’s been too busy, even for me, his…” Mikey gets interrupted by the bar.

“BEST FRIEND.” Everyone yells. Emmett sputters a laugh. Ted walks over to console Mikey.

I forgot about Ted and his secret love of Mikey. Let’s hope it doesn’t take a party to trash the loft to get Ted over his misguided love. I still remember Mikey, talking about how he felt bad that Ted wanted something from Mikey, that Mikey couldn’t return. Mikey was convinced that Ted should stop wasting his time trying for something that was never going to happen. Even I saw the irony in that statement.

“Crap, Ma, can’t you hang out somewhere else.” Mikey yells at his mother on the other side of the bar. 

“Michael, sit down and shut up, Vic wanted to go out, it’s not like I’m here to cockblock you.” Deb yells back. 

“I would just like to be able to have fun with my friends without my MOTHER embarrassing me.” Mikey tells her. I wanted to ask if screaming across a crowded bar was embarrassing.

“Like me having a beer is embarrassing you. The boys don’t mind that I’m here, right boys?” Deb asks us.

We all tell her we don’t mind, anything to keep her here. She loves to tell Mikey stories. It’s why Mikey is always a dick to her when she wants to hang out. I go sit next to Deb, and kiss her on the cheek. 

“See Michael, your best friend wants me here.” Deb yells out. 

“Deb, you want to play a drinking game with us.” A guy at another table asks.

“Sure sweetie, how do you play?” She asks him.

“Every time Michael says ‘Brian’ you have to drink your beer. If he says ‘best friend’ you take a shot.” He tells her.

“You guys plan on getting smashed tonight.” Deb tells them.

“Brian, are you going to come and join us.” Mikey yells. Deb and the guys take a drink of beer.

“I think I’ll hang out with your mother.” I know, but Deb drunk is fun.

“So you would rather hang out with Ma than your best friend?” Mikey says, just like I planned. I watched them all take the shot. 

After seven more sips of beer and five shots, I was helping Vic get a very drunk Deb home. Mikey wanted to know why she drank so much. I told the guys I’d meet them at Babylon, after I got Deb home. I help Vic carry Deb to bed.