JUSTIN

I guess Michael left early on Friday morning to go with David. Emmett said that Michael packed his bags right after Deb reamed his ass. He left a note on Emmett’s bedroom door, saying that he was going to stay with David until Emmett and his mother calmed down. It went on to say that he wasn’t insulting Emmett or Ted, it’s just that they were taking his words the wrong way. Brian told them to just be happy we don’t have to listen to him for two days.

Mom called and told me after helping Brian with his search for a building, she wanted to get her real estate license. I teased Brian that he was crushing on my mom. Brian told me that my mom and he were always close with each other. It just took her finally seeing that we loved each other for her to get over our age difference. I asked him when that was, because it was like one day they started hanging out together. Brian told me it was when we attended Vic’s funeral, he knew their relationship changed because she called him to make sure he was going with us. Brian reminded me that up until that point she never called him directly, she always called me. 

Brian dropped me off at school, and was on his way to tell Ryder he was done, thank God he never signed a noncompetition clause. He told me at the time Ryder didn't think he needed one.

School was just as shitty as I remember, I just stopped trying to make a point that they shouldn’t hold me being gay against me. I only have a couple of months left and this place would be ancient history for me. When Daphne and I started the gay straight alliance, I realized Brian was right, we were just something the Senator was using for a news bite. The school was able to shut the club down because no one wanted to take over for us after we graduated. I wanted to make a difference, but St James took years before they were forced to allow another club. If I had been a junior, Daphne and I would have had time to really make a difference, now I can see we were idealist. I want to help people, but the world isn’t ready yet. Brian told me to wait for college and work through the system this time, not against it. 

The other thing that I’m trying to figure out is, why is Chris everywhere I go? He never bothered me until after I gave him a hand job. I decided not to do that one again, because the idea of touching that asshole made my skin crawl. 

Daphne and I were sitting on the wall talking to each other when a football smacks me in the chest, and who is standing there, Chris. I drop the ball in Daphne’s lap, she can throw it back to the asshole. She smacks him in the head with it. I suggest going to the Library because it’s starting to creep me out, Chris being everywhere I am. Daphne and I were sitting in the library gossiping and I look up and fucking Chris is sitting at the next table. I ask Daphne why he seems to be everywhere we are. Daphne tells me Chris has been doing it all year and I never paid attention.

“How could I miss someone his size running around me all the time?” I whisper to her.

“He is normally just around, he’s never been this obvious before.” Daphne whispers back.

“What does he do?” I ask her.

“Nothing, he just seems to watch you.” She tells me.

I should've noticed, I had a crush on the asshole. I don’t like the fact that he is deviating from the past I know. I stop acting like I don’t see him and look straight at him. Chris sits there for a second and then he gets up and leaves the library. What the hell is going on? This better not be another jackass who was sent back to right something.

I walk out of school and motherfucker, he’s standing next to my locker. I’m not running away, if he wants to fuck with me, he does it to my face, not behind my back.

“Hey, you’re the faggot right?” Chris asks, loud enough for everyone to hear. He smirks at me.

“Yes, I am.” I tell him. Smiling right back.

I hear snickers in the hall and Chris stands there not sure what to say, I guess he expected me to deny it. I wait to see if he's going to say anything else, but he slams his fist in my locker and walks off. Daphne glares at the gawkers.

“Is there some reason you want to look at Justin?” She asks them.

I guess with nothing for them to see everyone starts to walk off. I walk to my locker to put my stuff away. I hear someone clear their throat. Turning, I see a kid from the junior class standing there. I wait for whatever insult the guy wants to hurl at me. When he continues to stand there and not say anything, I decide to find out what he wants.

“Can I help you?” I ask him. 

“How did you know?” He asks me. 

“That I was gay?” I ask him. He nods his head. 

“I was never really interested in girls. It's not rocket science, if you look at a guy and you're interested, you’re gay. If you look at a girl and don’t start trying to undress her in your head, you're most likely gay.” I tell him. I don’t get how you don’t know.

“What if you're not sure?” He asks me. 

“Are you interested in someone?” I ask him. 

“I think so, but I think he's dating someone.” He tells me. 

“Ask him, the worst that can happen is they say no.” I tell him. 

“I don’t know if I have the nerve to ask him. I mean I’ve never met him, just seen him around here. How did you ask someone?” He asks me. 

“I didn’t, I met the guy I’m with by going out to Liberty Avenue. We saw each other and spent the night together. I’ve been with him ever since.” I tell him. 

“Is it the guy who drops you off every morning?” He asks me.

“Yes.” I tell him.

“You and him are serious?” God I hope he isn’t interested in me.

“Very, I live with him.” I tell the guy.

“He’s really hot, I was hoping you and him were just friends.” He tells me.

“Brian is Justin’s boyfriend.” Daphne tells him.

“I guess there’s no point in asking him out then.” He tells me. 

“You could, but he’d just blow you off.” I can’t wait to tell Brian he’s every gay teen’s fantasy.

“I’m Mark, maybe I could talk to you once in awhile. My sister told me that I needed to be sure about this, because my parents will blow a gasket.” Mark tells me.

“I’m Justin, just make sure, your sister is right. Don’t tell them unless you’re sure.” I tell him.

“I’m actually really sure, it just felt like I was the only one, well until you just outed yourself.” He tells me.

“It’s not like I can hide it. I come here every morning with Brian and he picks me up. I arrived here with him and made out with him at the bottom of the steps at school. So if someone hasn’t figured it out, they aren’t paying attention. If you need someone to talk to, call me, but I can’t tell you anything that is going to make this easier. I will tell you I was lucky, the guy I’m with wanted to be more than a one night stand, most people don’t get as lucky.” I tell him.

“We go to Liberty Diner, if you want I can take you there. It’s probably the gayest place, other than the club Justin goes to, that I can take you.” Daphne, faghag to all us gay boys tell him.

Mark tells her he’ll think about it. I guess I wasn’t the only one, at the time it felt like it. It’s strange to know that others were here with me and we never met. Hopefully, I can help him not become a statistic.

I run out of the school and head for Brian’s Jeep. Chris is standing there staring at Brian. Brian stares back at him. I get in the car and look to see Chris glaring at Brian.

“Was he always around and we didn’t see him?” Brian asks me.

“According to Daphne, he has been. I wasn’t paying attention to him last time. I never knew if it was the hand job, me taunting him, or just that Chris is a sociopath.” I tell Brian,

“I don’t like the way he’s watching you.” Brian tells me.

“He was looking at you.” I tell him.

“Until you came outside, he was staring at you.” Brian tells me.

“Maybe Marilyn knows what’s up with him.” I tell Brian.

BRIAN

I watch the shithead looking at Justin, I never met Chris till that night outside Woody’s. Here’s a question, why was he walking around the gay district that night? It never made sense that he was there, unless it was to ramp him up to attack Justin. That better not be why he was there. 

“Guess what?” Justin tells me.

“What, twat?” I ask him.

“A junior wanted to ask you out.” Justin teases me.

“That’s so high school, wait, you are in high school again. Sucks to be you.” I tell him.

“Well, after Chris asked if I was a faggot in the hall and I told him yes, this kid Mark starts asking how I knew I was gay. Then tells me he is crushing on my steady.” Justin tells me.

“What is it with you kids? Do I look like a guy who runs after teenagers?” I should have shut my mouth.

“I don’t know, how old am I?” The twat smirks.

“Let’s see, you’re sixty one, so apparently I’m into old men.” I tell him.

“If you look at it that way, I guess I’m into dead men, so there.” He smirks.

“Back up, Chris confronted you?” I ask him.

“After being everywhere I was today. It was like he was daring me to tell him I wasn’t gay.” He tells me.

“What did he do?” I don’t like this at all.

“Slammed his fist on my locker and left. It was tame, for him.” He tells me.

“He’s not jumping you in the locker room or fucking with you like the last time?” I ask him.

“It will probably start now, I gave him that hand job right after meeting you. He didn’t get in trouble this time so no cleaning out the supply closet in the gym. I also won’t touch that asshole.” Justin tells me.

I was silent the rest of the way. We changed things, so now Chris isn’t scared of Justin outing him. Does that make him less likely to go after Justin? Marilyn better be able to tell us what is going on.

I pull up to the loft and see her standing there waiting for us. Vic and Emmett are talking to her. I guess we’ll have to wait to talk about it.

“Brian, Emmett told me you and he wanted to talk to me.” Vic tells me.

“Why don’t you and Vic go upstairs, we’ll be there in a minute.” I tell Emmett.

Emmett and Vic go in and we wait until I hear the elevator.

“He wasn’t sent back.” Marilyn tells Justin.

“Then what the hell is he doing?” Justin asks her.

“Justin, a straight guy isn’t going to let another guy jerk him off, unless he’s confused. Chris blames you for making him think he could be gay. It’s what leads to the bashing, you were out and proud. He confused the fact that he came in your hand with you trying to make him gay. It ate at him that you were living without a care in the world while he was doubting himself.” She tells Justin.

“I get bashed because the asshole couldn’t figure out who he was?” Justin snaps.

“Yes, it’s not logical Justin. Nothing you do will change him, and nothing you did caused what happened. A guy like him is going to hurt someone, because he gets off on it.” I tell him.

“I agree with Brian. He is still coming to the garage that night, but the future keeps splintering. One shows him trying to get you, in that one, Emmett manages to stop him before he can do anything. Another one has him sitting in his car, he watches you leave, but after that it’s hazy. It’s like he was undecided about what to do. I’m worried about that one because you and Brian continue on just fine. Everyone ends up fine along with you. The question I have is what happens when he makes up his mind.” She tells Justin.

“But in both Justin is fine?” I have to know.

“You both leave with Daphne, and like I said, nothing else happens to you.” She tells us.

“Well then, go play savior to someone else, we apparently are fine.” I tell her.

Marilyn tells us if she figures out why it’s constantly changing for Chris she’ll let us know. We have a while before that shit comes down on us. 

Justin and I go up to the loft to meet with Vic and Emmett. Justin tells me to try to boost Vic’s confidence in his cooking. I forgot that Vic hadn’t done anything for years and was letting Deb cook. Emmett told me that he would talk to Vic before they came over so we could just talk about how they could start their business. I walk to the chair by the sofa and grab Justin to sit with me.

“Long time no see. I felt like you were avoiding me.” Vic tells me.

“I wanted time with Justin, I avoided everyone.” I tell Vic.

“Good, I felt like I was losing a son when you disappeared.” Vic tells me. I felt like I’d lost my father when I thought he betrayed me, but he doesn’t know that. I can’t say it to him.

“Vic doesn’t think he can be any help.” Emmett tells us.

“I haven’t cooked anything other than small things in years. I don’t know if I can still do it.” Vic tells us.

“Vic, you don’t forget that skill.” Emmett tells him.

“My hands are no longer steady, and you have to understand, I made things from scratch. I don’t have recipes for them. I just knew to add a little of this and a little of that. I can’t even remember how I did it anymore.” Vic tells us.

“Vic, you look good for a dead guy.” Justin tells him.

“Justin, what the hell?” Emmett asks.

“I’m just saying, he should just buy a coffin and let us have his funeral. He seems to think that the only thing left for him is to die.” Shit, what is Justin doing?

“I’m not waiting to die.” Vic snaps at him.

“Yes you are. Instead of taking this opportunity to do something with your life, you’re making excuses for being scared to try.” Justin tells him.

“It’s easy for you to say. Your young and healthy.” Vic tells him.

“What I am is an artist, just like you. I know that even if I had to paint with my mouth, I’d do it. I’d do it Vic, because it’s something inside me that is screaming to get out. I need to see how what is in my head translates on a canvas. I need to be able to point to it and tell myself that I was right, that in my small way I added beauty to the world. Cooking is your canvas, if you can’t cook, how are you controlling your muse screaming at you?” Justin asks him.

“You know Brian, you’re going to have to get a hold of Justin, he goes for the jugular.” Vic tells me.

“I just don’t see the point in taking all those pills if you’ve already stopped living.” Justin tells him with a shrug.

“Emmett, I think you and I need to go home. I have some recipes to start writing down.” Vic gets up and heads to the door. Emmett hangs back to talk to Justin and I.

“The whole way here he was walking like a ninety year old man, telling me that he couldn’t do it. I gave him my whole speech about how he has so much to give and Justin just tells him to go and die and now he needs to write down his recipes. How does that work?” Emmett asks us.

“He did this when Mel and Lindsay were going to have a wedding. Deb told him exactly that when he was complaining he couldn’t make the cake and dropping things all over the place. I just tried to be nicer than telling him to fucking go ahead and die already. Apparently it’s how she gets him to fight for things.” Justin tells us.