BRIAN    

I dropped Justin off at the school for his SAT’s. He was practically bouncing in his seat. I’ll never get how scoring higher on a test is more exciting to him than a new outfit. I guess it’s my lot in life to love and live with a man who thinks clothes are just another paint rag. I headed to the diner to meet with Ted, he was nervous about walking away from a job he’d had since college. 

For the first time in years, Deb wasn’t at the counter. Emmett told me that Vic was cooking up a storm last night and Deb was worried about him overdoing it. Deb has to have something to worry about. I grabbed a paper and ordered my usual. Ted called to tell me he was on his way, I figured I could just enjoy the silence while I wait. When someone slides into the booth, I look up expecting Ted, but I got Lindsay instead.

“We need to talk.” She tells me.

I look around like Justin did, behind her and around me. She starts looking to see what I was looking at.

“What are you looking for?” She asks me.

“Gus, because that is the only thing you have that I ever want to hear or see.” I tell her and start reading again.

“Brian, you can’t just ignore me for the rest of our lives.” She tells me.

“Of course I can, just watch me.” I tell her.

“I was trying to help Justin, what happened wasn’t my fault.” She tells me.

“Between you and Michael, you need to get that tattooed on your heads. Get this through your head, it was your fault, and acting like it wasn’t doesn't change anything you did. I’m all out of sympathy for ‘poor Lindsay’, who was so jealous of Justin that she spent her life trying to erase him. Look at what happened before I died, Gus and Alex kept you away from Sunny. Gus didn’t want you poisoning his child the way you tried to do to him. The fact that in both lives you still managed to fuck up should have made you realize it’s not going to matter what you do, your life isn’t going to change. In order for change to happen, you can’t keep doing the same thing and expect different results. I have a child that I haven’t met, because since you couldn’t find a way to make your life better, you took mine. You took Justin and Kira out of my life, and didn’t give a shit that you did it. It’s all ‘it was a mistake’ or ‘I didn’t mean it’, as the excuse doesn’t make it all better. So listen to me, I mean it when I say you're no longer welcome in my life, Mel can talk to me if it’s about Gus.” I tell her.

“You think you know all the answers, I didn’t do this alone. Your surrogate mother and father were involved in it too. I don’t see you holding it against them.” She tells me.

“Unlike you, they haven’t done anything yet. I don’t see taking something they do later out on them now. What I don’t get is why you couldn’t let me live my life. I let you take Gus away, I supported him and you, and I never once asked for anything but to see my son. I guess that you thought that if Justin was gone, I’d suddenly ‘See The Light’ and want you.” I tell her.

“I love you, Brian. I was your closest friend. You were changing into someone I didn’t recognize.” She tells me.

“You want to know what I was able to see when I came back? I saw the real you. The woman who claimed to be a lesbian but the first chance you got you leaped into bed with me. A woman who claims to love people, but uses that love like a weapon to keep us in line. Mel had to play the jealous wife and I was the person she needed to fear, because one indication I wanted you to leave her, you made her think you would. I sat up and thought about the people who tell me they love me and do you know what I came up with? None of you really did, because instead of wanting me to change for the better, you were trying to keep me the drugged out, drunk club boy, who would overlook that you're a manipulative bitch. If you cared about me you would have done what you told Deb you wanted to do, make up to our son for being a shitty mother. Instead you ran around trying to change the past, because you didn’t get to have the career Justin had. You don’t have the talent in your whole body that he has in his pinky finger. There is nothing that keeping me to yourself would do to change your lack of talent. If somewhere in the fucked up logic you are using to justify your actions, you were thinking I was ever going to want more than the friendship, you need fucking help. I want you to listen to me and take my words as if they came from God himself. I’m a GAY MAN in love with another GAY MAN, nowhere in that scenario does it include a confused lesbian with mommy issues. If you need a dick that bad, go find Sam, he fell for your shit more than once. Now, unless Gus needs something, don’t come find me or Justin, we don’t fucking care. After tomorrow, I’m going to get on with living my life without your help, you tend to kill people. Do yourself a favor and let Mel contact me, because putting you on the plane in Justin’s place is starting to sound better and better.” I tell her.

“Did I come at a bad time?” Ted looks at us.

“No perfect, Lindsay is going home to take care of the son she wanted so badly.” I tell her.

“You're right, I have so many things to get ready for the party. Mel and I are so excited to celebrate a milestone with Justin. Are you bringing Blake with you?” She transforms into a caring woman, for Ted. Unfortunately for her, Ted knows about her.

“I took Blake to rehab, he needs to get his life on track if we are ever going to make a go at it. Emmett and I will be there tomorrow for Mel and Justin.” Ted tells her.

“Ted, I hope you would be there for me too.” Lindsay stands there like she is waiting for us to say something. When she realizes that we aren’t, she smiles her fake smile at Ted and turns to  walk out the diner door. I alway thought I would be unhappy losing her in my life, but she couldn’t accept me for who I am, Justin’s lover and partner. It makes me understand why Justin isn’t upset anymore about Craig, he knows that Craig can’t accept him for who he is, so he stopped caring.

DAVID

I spent the first day at the country house having to listen to Michael ranting and upset that Brian let Justin top, why he seems to think it’s his business is beyond me. I had hoped a walk in the woods would get Michael to concentrate on why we came here, to spend time together. Instead it was a long litany of Brian and Justin.

“I can’t believe the kid was telling everyone he topped Brian.” Michael tells me.

“Is there some reason you care what they do, or are upset about it? Can we talk about something else?” I ask him.

“Brian is the ultimate top, he isn’t going to let a kid top him. I told the kid that Brian isn’t going to change for him. Instead of leaving Brian alone, he’s now living with him.” He tells me.

“Michael, why are you involving yourself in someone else’s relationship? I thought this was a weekend about us?” I ask him. He just continues on as if I didn’t say anything.

“Brian’s isn't in a relationship. I don't care what anyone thinks, I know my best friend. Even if he is saying this kid is the one, like Ma claims. There is no way my best friend would change who he is. Look at his life, he can have anyone, and everyone wants him. Why would he want to settle down with the twink.  I just don’t understand why he thinks Justin is the one. Brian and I will alway be best friends, no one is supposed to come between us. Justin just needs to see that he isn’t going to get what he wants from Brian. It’s just lately, Brian isn’t being Brian. We go from always being with each other, to him acting like I'm bothering him all the time. He even changed the code and key to his loft, now I have to knock to enter his loft. I think fourteen years of friendship should overrule anyone else in our lives. I’m not going to stand back and watch Brian replace me with Justin…” Michael keeps talking and walks off.

I stood and watched him walk away, because he didn’t even realize he said that Brian’s boyfriend, was taking his place. If Brian is Michael’s best friend, then Justin being Brian’s boyfriend isn’t taking Michael’s place. I look to see he’s disappeared down the path we were walking. I don’t think he even noticed I wasn’t there anymore. I was trying to wrap my head around him comparing being friends with Brian, to Justin’s role in Brian’s life. If I am hearing him correctly, Brian will come before anyone in Michael’s life. I really wanted to see where Michael and I could lead, but I’m not going to be a placeholder for Brian Kinney. Although Michael doesn’t seem to realize that Brian isn’t using Justin as a placeholder for Michael. I don’t think Michael and I are going to work out, unless he changes the way he thinks. My first clue should have been Michael constantly trying to include Brian on our dates. I would like to have a conversation that isn’t about Brian, just once, but dating Michael guarantees I'll hear ‘Brian’ every other sentence.  

I waited to see if he ever figured out I wasn’t with him. Ten minutes went by before I hear Michael screaming. I run toward the screaming, but as I get closer I don’t hear him anymore. I keep looking for him, and get to the end of the pathway. I wanted to show Michael the small waterfall and pool at the bottom of the drop off. I had all these plans to make love to him in the forest and then come here and go skinny dipping. Instead it was Michael pouting about everyone taking Justin's side in some conversation at Woody’s. I look around the path, but don’t see him anywhere.

“Michael, yell if you can hear me.” I yell out. I hear a faint David underneath me. I look down to see Michael in the pool at the bottom. I wonder if he was so busy ranting he didn’t see the path ended. At least it was only a ten foot drop.

“Are you okay?” I yell at him.

“Where the hell did you go? I could have been killed.” Michael yells at  me.

“Michael it’s a ten foot drop, and the pool isn’t even very deep, you wouldn’t have been killed. Why didn’t you look where you were going?” I ask him.

“I ran into a bush and a bunch of bees started swarming around me. I was trying to get away from them, when I fell over that cliff. WHICH WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU STAYED WITH ME.” He screams at me.

“Just get out the water Michael. I’ll be there in a minute.” I tell him as I walk down to the water.

“I think I got bit by the fucking bees, it hurts to come out of the water.” He screeches.

“You can’t stay in there, just get out so we can treat the stings.” I almost want to let him stay there. 

“FINE, I'LL GET OUT. I SHOULD HAVE NEVER COME. THIS WHOLE IDEA IS STUPID. THERE IS NOTHING TO DO BUT STARE AT TREES. WE COULD HAVE GONE OUT WITH MY FRIENDS AND HAD A GOOD TIME, BUT NO, I GET STUCK OUT HERE AND ALMOST GET KILLED FALLING OFF THAT CLIFF.” Michael screams.

“Would you shut the hell up, I mean it. One more word and I'm going to leave you here.” Did I really think Michael was a good prospect?

I get to the water and see Michael sitting on a bunch of vines, pouting. It’s like seeing Hank at five years old and upset. He has his arms crossed and his lips screwed up in a pout. I watch as he flops down and starts rubbing his body on the pile of vines he was sitting on.

“It itches everywhere, I think one bit my ass.” He tells me.

“Michael stop rubbing your skin on the leaves and get up.” I tell him.

“I was just using it to scratch my back.” He tells me.

“Keep using the Poison Ivy and you’ll be scratching everywhere.” I tell him.