BRIAN

I have to say, when you want the day to go faster, it slows down. I was sitting around trying to remember what happened tonight. I know I was at Babylon with the gang, got a crappy blow job and Michael came to tell me they wanted to go eat. I tried to teach the moron that was blowing me what Justin knew naturally, then I got bored. I walked outside and saw what would become the person I would love for the rest of my life. Okay, honestly, I saw a guy who I needed to get naked. The rest came later. Why lie to myself? 

Cynthia kept giving me strange looks all day, she finally told me to stop smiling. I would have told her I was going to meet my destiny tonight, but I was afraid she was going to check to see if I was high or needed to go to the emergency room. 

I finally just called it quits for the day, I wasn’t getting anything accomplished. I got home and thought, ‘what the hell was I wearing that night?’. Lesson to all the boys and girls, getting high makes you forget shit. I decided to go with my standard outfit; jeans, tee shirt and shirt unbuttoned. Looking in the mirror, I see my bracelet, I haven’t worn this in years. I don’t even remember what happened to the thing. It’s strange that I've been wearing it and just noticed. Why haven't I noticed it?

I look and it’s still hours before we meet. What to do? Fuck it, I have to hang out with Michael anyway. I called to see where my faithful lap dog is.

“Brian, did you get to work on time?” My ‘wife’ asks me. Seriously it’s like he was practicing for marriage with me. Okay banish that thought.

“Where are you?” I ask him. Wait for it.

“At the diner, you coming?” He asked me. Where else would he be, it's like the only place he eats. Most likely because Deb pays for his tab.

“Yeah, order for me dear.” I tell him. It came out sounding sarcastic. 

I hang up before I piss him off and we don’t go out tonight. I’m trying to keep this as close to the original night as i can remember. Even if I'd rather it be just me and Justin. 

I needed to stop and pick up a present for the only other person who was important to me. Gus is coming, makes me wonder why they both appeared on the same night. 

“To teach you that you were capable of love. On the night you meet Justin. ” Ghost Vic tells me. Mother fucker, is he trying to kill me?

“Are you trying to end this before tonight even happens?” I ask him.

“I just needed to tell you one more thing.” Vic tells me.

“Well don’t keep me in suspense.” I tell him. Why can’t they just tell me everything, this popping in and out is creepy.

“You have to take Michael with you tonight, to the hospital.” Vic tells me.

“Can’t I just let him get laid? I mean only Mikey could pick up someone who wears a fake ass.” I tell him.

“No, he has to be there, but thanks for the visual. Michael takes the pictures of your son.” Vic tells me.

“Hey Vic, do I look stupid to you?” I ask him. A picture? Can’t they come up with something better.

“No, but just remember things happen for a reason.” Damn it he disappeared. I swear I want to strangle these people. At least Yoda made sense.

I go to the shop that carries the teddy bear, the one Justin had as a child. I want Gus to have one just like it. Jen gave Gus the bear after Justin was gone. He asked her for it, he missed Justin. Jen, being the great woman she is, gave Gus the last thing she had of Justin’s childhood. 

Gus kept it and eventually gave it to Sunny. It was Gus’s talismen, he used it to remember.  Lindsey wanted him to forget Justin, because he wasn’t adjusting to Canada and told his mother that he missed Justin and me. Lindsey would have been fine if it had just been me, she could have badgered me to death about my son. I wasn’t talking to her anymore at the time. Mel was the only one I would talk to. 

In fact, my two best friends thought it was unhealthy that Gus mourned Justin just as much as I did. I told Gus they just didn’t love Justin the way we did. Gus told me it was like Justin was there when he looked at the bear. 

I warned both Michael and Lindsey, the bear better not go missing, or they would have to deal with me. Gus told me when they tried to convince him to give it away to kids who didn’t have toys. I called and asked why not give away the shit Michael gives the kids, Michael pouted. Lindsey tried to make it sound like it was causing Gus to keep from getting over the loss.

I called Mel and asked why they felt they have to banish Justin from existence. Mel told me we could keep Justin alive, she loved him too. Mel took care of the problem, that was the day Mel and I learned we liked each other. It’s also the day Lindsey tried to Peter me to death. I told her Peter died when she used that article. It took years for me to forgive her and Michael for trying to erase Justin.

What if they are the reason everything went wrong? Another question for the mystics to answer, maybe I should start sending Marilyn emails to get an answer, she doesn’t stick around when I really have questions. I need to get that teddy bear, since I’m not going to lose Justin again. 

It made me think about the fact that I didn’t answer my cell that night. Strange since I always answered Lindsey at that time. I wanted to be there for Gus’s birth, not because it was a big deal, but to piss Mel off. I guess it’s one of those things that was supposed to happen. When I think about it, if I had answered, I’d have never meet Justin. If Justin hadn’t come with me, Gus would have been Abraham, because I really didn’t care for either name. You know, life was so much easier when I didn’t know.

Arriving at the diner, I see the gang. It occurs to me the last time I saw them, we were all old. Hell, Michael and I had grandchildren and a great grandchild in my case. All of them had to go through shit to be happy. I could change the pain they went through trying to find the people they end up with.

“No you don’t.” Marilyn or should I say Marty tells me. Guess she doesn’t dress up till later.

“Why not?” I ask her.

“They aren’t ready for it. Let their lives be theirs. You aren’t here to fix it for them. If Ben came now, he would hook up with Ted. Blake wouldn’t have meet Ted, because the condom would break. Ted would kill himself.” Marilyn/Marty tells me. Does anything good happen to us? She stares me down, after a second she nods and walks away. See what I mean? I have more questions but she only comes to stop me.

“Hey, you're kind of hot as a guy.” They fuck with me, I fuck with them. Marilyn/Marty flips me off.

“Brian, you coming in. Who was that?” Michael asks me.

“We going to Babylon tonight?” I ask him. I ignore the other question.

“Can’t we hang out at Woody’s tonight?” Michael asks me. 

“You can, but I’m going to Babylon.” How come he can try to change things?

“Fine, but I have to work in the morning, so no staying till three.” He tells me.

“Okay Grandma, what the hell is with you?” I ask him. Normally he wants to hang out all night.

“Nothing, I just thought we could do something different for a change.” Michael tells me. Something is bothering him.

I walk into the diner, trying to figure out why Michael suddenly doesn’t want to go out. Emmett is chatting away with Ted. 

“It was so strange Teddy, this guy walks up and tells me that something bad is going to happen if we go to Babylon tonight.” Emmett tells Ted.

“Did he say what?” Ted asks him.

“No, just that it would hurt Michael. Right Michael.” Emmett turns to Michael.  

“You believed this guy?” Ted asks them.

“Not really, but it seemed strange.” Michael tells us.

“Was it some random guy or was it someone you know?” I ask them. Who else is trying to help?

“Random guy, never seen him before. He seemed really concerned about Michael.” Emmett tells me. 

“What did he say exactly?” I ask him. 

“Just that we should stay away from Babylon. Something about Michael losing something. Strange shit.” Emmett tells me. “I stopped paying attention when he told me you should go to Boy Toy tonight, it sounded like he was trying hook up with you, Brian. You know to get you to grace a crap bar so he could meet you. Could have been looking to trick with Brian Kinney.” 

I swear Emmett comes up with weird ideas sometimes. Where are my mystic guides when this shit is going on, or do they only bother to tell me I’m a screw up? Why is someone trying to stop me? Don't I have enough to deal with, ‘Justin the Virgin’ isn’t going to be ready to fuck like monkeys. Really? Thinking that Michael not going would stop me. My future is coming to Liberty Avenue, the apocalypse couldn’t stop me. They change the subject to some movie star and I pray time will start moving faster. Marilyn and I will talk about this later.

JUSTIN

Daphne agreed to help me get to the gay district. I was disappointed that I lost the card from Brian. I know I could have looked him up, but I want to be fantastic in bed before we hook up. Brian would probably lose interest in me if I sucked in bed. He probably already forgot my name by now.

I get Daphne to drop me off and start walking around. Hopefully someone can tell me a good place to meet guys. A guy was standing around so I figured I’d ask him. He told me about all the bars, then offered to take me home. Not in this lifetime. Crap, it’s kind of disappointing, I don’t know what I expected to happen, but wandering around wasn’t it. Maybe I should look for someone my age, and follow them. Hopefully, they would show me a good place to go.

“Hey kid.” I turn and look at a cross dresser.

“Yes Ma’am.” I answer her.

“You should go to Babylon, it’s a good first place to go.” She tells me. Then points in the direction she thinks I should go.

“Thanks.” I tell her. Guess I’ll head in that direction. 

I get to the street in front of Babylon and need to get the courage to go in. I lean on the lamppost and try to psych myself up for this. Do I really want to do this? I could wait, maybe find Brian. No, I have to at least try. I look over toward the bar and see Brian standing there looking at me. Maybe my night is looking up. 

“Sorry Justin, but I refuse to miss this night.” I turn to see ‘me’ standing there. What the hell?

JUSTIN 

I begged to go back, this is the single most important night of our lives. I've tried not to ask for things, but this is important to me. I told them in the morning they could make my younger self forget it. I just wanted us to be together, without Brian having to hear ‘I like your kitchen’ or my long winded speech about my allergies. Vic finally got permission for me to come back and be with Brian tonight. He told me they gave me until I see Daphne in the morning. Then I go back to the being a teen again. Maybe I’ll pretend to be the untried virgin, Brian doesn’t have to know. 

Brian stands there looking at me and I watch him head towards me. God, he was always a beautiful bastard. What would it be like to know what was ahead, but not be able to let on you know? For me, it's remembering standing here waiting for him to reach me. Thinking he was going to take one look at me, and think ‘what a dork’. I wanted to look away but for some reason, I knew I had to look him in the eye that night. He made sure we talked face to face. Brian would have probably blown me off if I hadn’t been looking him in the eyes.

“How’s it going? Had a busy night?” Brian asks me. What the hell did I say?

“Just um, checking out the bars, ya know.” Fuck I’m going to laugh. I can’t believe we get to do this again. Crap what did I say after that. Think Justin, damn it how am I supposed to think when Brian is looking at me like that. He starts to frown. 

“You okay Justin?” He asks me. I'm already screwing this up. Fuck it, he deserves to know.

“I’d be better if I could remember what I said last time.” I smile at him. He stares into my eyes. I can see the moment he figures out I'm me.

“Justin?” He asks me.

“You promise to remember my name in the morning?” I ask him.

“I never forgot it, just had to protect my image. Why now?” He asks me. 

“It’s something I had to be here for.” I tell him. 

“Promise me we'll talk later? Right now I need us.” Brian tells me. 

“I have till you drop me off at school, then I go back.” I tell him. 

“Why are we wasting time then?” Brian asks me. 

“I want to play Mr Kinney.” I tell him. Brian smiles and knows what I want.

“Where you headed?” He ask me.

“No place special.” I tell him. 

“I can change that.” He smiles. Thinking back, he did change it, and we wouldn't have had it any other way. 

Before heading to the Jeep, Brian leans in and we devour each other, it feels like coming home. He leans his head against mine and says, “I love you, Justin.” 

“I love you, Brian” I tell him. 

“Say it often tonight, I need to hear it from this you.” He tells me. I promise him I will.

Brian grabs my hand and drags me to the car. I see the guys, I miss them, but I want to smirk at Michael. He was a dick back then, and I forever got something from Brian Michael never would, Brian’s soul. I also think if I was Michael, I would've hated me too. So I just stare at Brian, and leave Michael to dream of Brian. I hear them cursing Brian for leaving them behind. I can’t help it, I was grinning. It's like watching my favorite movie again. 

I haven’t been with Brian in forever, not only does he get a virgin but a virgin that remembers everything he ever taught me. We are so not going to sleep tonight.