Chapter 27 - Betterment.

Betterment:  The process of enhancing or improving someone or something; an improvement over what has been the case.

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Justin's POV

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Brian orders us breakfast from room service and we take a quick shower together before it gets here. And this time, we do just shower, amazingly enough. I guess even sex gods need occasional sustenance in order to keep up their peckers. I'm pretty much starving after all that exercise, myself. 

The food arrives and the waiter sets up the meal in the formal dining room - which seems odd since Brian and I aren't wearing anything besides terry cloth robes as we sit and eat off china plates at this huge table. While we eat, Brian tells me about his meeting with my mother. He's very careful to disclose everything with a very neutral air - which just makes me wonder what Brian's really thinking. Fuck knows I don't know what to think about her claim that she didn't know where I was or what my father had done. It seems . . . Improbable. But, after what I had remembered last night, I guess I didn't put anything past my father. Shit. Now I had to figure out what I was going to do about her.

"So, I told her I'd let you decide if you wanted to talk to her," Brian ends. "If you do want to talk with her I'll set it up. If you don't want to see her, I'll tell her to get lost. It's totally your call."

It's a lot to get my brain around. Everything's happening so fast and there's so much to think about. So much has changed in such a short time. How the fuck am I supposed to deal with all this new information, all these new ideas and all these uncontrolled new emotions. I haven't let myself feel or think in months, if not years, and now, in the course of just one week it's all coming back up at once. Little channels of panic are beginning to creep in on me as I sit here, and I want to stop them from taking over, but how?

Without even sitting up, Brian snakes out one long, well-toned leg and uses his ankle to hook around the leg of the chair I'm sitting in. Then, with seemingly little effort, he tugs my chair around the corner of the table, closer to him. When the two chairs meet, he grabs my hand and tows me over so I'm planted in his lap. How did he know that I needed him right then? He just does, though, and I'm happy to curl up against his chest and rest my head on his shoulder so Brian's arms can wrap around to protect me.

"Talk, Sunshine. Where is that little blond head taking you?"

"When would I have to decide?"

"There's no timeline. You can take all the time you want to think about things," Brian reassures me. "Whatever you decide, whenever you get to it, is fine."

I think I'm too tired right now to decide anything, though. And, now that I've been fed and I'm resting my head on Brian's warm shoulder, the exhaustion is starting to take over. I just want to sleep right now and I'll think later.

"Brian?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think there is a word for you. I'm going to have to invent my own word," I mumble between yawns. "How about 'Kinneyent'?"

"I like it, Sunshine," Brian says laughingly as he scoops me up and carries me back to the bed where I fall asleep almost at once.

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Brian's POV

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While Justin naps I make some phone calls. First I check in with Cynthia - everything's going smoothly at the office so I'm good there. Ted has a quick update for me on a couple things too, all of which can wait for the moment though. Then I return the call to to Jennifer Taylor - better to get it over with, I figure.

She's not happy when I tell her that Justin hasn't decided if he wants to see her or not. She wants me to try to get him to at least talk to her, but I tell her I won't do it. He's had enough of people manipulating him and making decisions for him. This is one decision I'll let him make on his own - even if it takes him months to make it. I tell Jennifer that I'll let her know whatever Justin decides but that it might be a while. I hope she isn't planning on calling me daily for updates.

Then I quickly check my email. There's one interesting one that I shoot off a quick response to before joining Justin back in bed. I note that it's already 9:00 am so we won't get much sleep before we have to check out. Oh well - it was worth it, I think as another silly smile breaks out on my face.

But that silly smile reminds me of all the other 'silly' things I've been doing recently and all of the sudden I'm not sleepy. Actually, I'm shocked. Did I really just ask Justin to move in with me - permanently? And, fuck me - I think I also told him I l-loved him? What the fuck? What was I thinking? I can't do this. Can I? Where the fuck did all this come from? 

I could probably deal with the living together thing - I do want him to stay and it's been going okay so far, right? I can do this living together thing. At least I think so. But, that other thing? That I'm not sure I can deal with. Brian Kinney doesn't do something like that - just blurting out that he . . . fuck, I can't even think the word, how the fuck did I manage to say it. 

Granted, at the moment I was really not thinking clearly. I'd just had six or seven hours of mind-blowing sex with the guy. So I can blame it on exhaustion and post-coital temporary insanity, right? Plus, Justin was being so fucking adorable at the time with his cute little game of making up a word for me. Fuck, now I'm thinking he's 'cute' and 'adorable' too. 

I'm well into freak out mode now. What was I thinking? How do I get out of this? 

Then Justin rolls over so that he's partly curled up along my side but with one arm draped over my stomach and one leg sprawled over my thighs. His dick is half hard and resting on my hip. His head is lying in the hollow of my shoulder and I can smell the peachy scent of the complimentary hotel shampoo he used earlier which, combined with the clean muskiness of his skin, is so completely enticing. And, all of a sudden, I know exactly what I was thinking when I said that - I was thinking that this lovely man is perfect and I don't care how ridiculously romantic it might be but I want him in my life forever.

So I guess it's okay that I asked him to move in with me and even that I said that other thing. I nuzzle into his hair and let the smell of him into me. And I pull his body tighter against mine so I can feel that he's safe beside me. This feels right.

Maybe I'll just get some more sleep and worry about it later.

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Justin's POV

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I'm not really being very productive this afternoon, I'm afraid. I rub my eyes and try to hide the fifth or sixth yawn I've been unable to stop since this meeting began. The rest of the art department is all energized about some bonus Brian is offering for a new campaign idea for Liberty Air's fall ads. 

However, between only getting a couple hours of sleep total last night and not being able to sit in one position for very long on account of my incredibly sore ass, I'm not even remotely able to concentrate on what anyone's saying. All I seem to be able to do is sit here, squirming, with a stupid shit-eating grin on my face, fantasizing about last night. And about what I plan to do to Brian tonight.

I wonder when Brian will be back from his appointment. Maybe if he gets back soon, I won't have to wait until tonight to take care of one of those little fantasies I keep having. Where did he say he was going anyway? After we checked out of the hotel he dropped me off back here and said he had an appointment but that he'd be back later. I can't remember if he said where he was going though. It doesn't matter as long as he's back soon.

Oh thank god, this stupid meeting is over and I can go back to my desk. At least there I can daydream in peace. I promise to be more productive tomorrow, but today it's just not gonna happen so why even try. I think I can get a couple more minor things done from my ToDo list - which I still love, even when I'm too tired to think - but then I really just need to get back to the loft and get a little more sleep.

Before I get a chance to do very much daydreaming though, Ted asks me to come to his office to sign a bunch of papers. Apparently he got some documents from my old school that will help me get the process started to get a real state ID card issued. I only have to sign about a hundred pieces of paper to do it. I'm just glad Ted seems to know what all this means, because I have no idea. I'm really excited about the prospect of getting ID - it'll be like undisappearing. I'll be a legitimate person again with ID to prove it. I can't wait.

And then it's time to leave work, but Brian isn't back yet. I'm getting a little anxious suddenly, because I don't know where he is. I know that's stupid. We don't need to be together 24/7, but it's just that I don't know where he went or if I should wait for him or how long he'll be. So I sit at my desk and fret for about a half hour before I remember the cell phone he gave me. He said I could call him anytime, right? So I pull the phone out of my jacket pocket, push the button and say, 'call Brian', just like he told me. And, it works! 

"Hey, Sunshine," Brian's voice coming out of the tiny speaker is enough to calm me instantly. "I'm just on my way back to Kinnetik to collect you. Sorry I'm running late. My meeting with the lawyers took longer than I'd planned. Everything okay there?"

That's right. He did say something about having to go to his lawyer's office. "Yeah, everything's fine. I just wanted to know if I should wait for you here."

"You can wait there if you want. I'll be there in about fifteen minutes. Or, better yet, why don't you head on over to the Diner and I'll meet you there? We never really did get lunch, so I'm sure you're starving," he suggests.

"Okay."

"Great. See you there Sunshine," Brian says and ends the call.

I quickly gather together my things and start towards the exit. But I hesitate as my hand touches the door. I know this is pathetic, but I'm suddenly afraid to leave here without Brian. He's always brought me here to his office and then been there to take me back with him to the loft at the end of end of each day. Except for that one time I ran out angry, I've never left here alone. 

But this is stupid, of course. Before Brian I'd been alone for years. Actually, when I think about it, it feels like I've always been alone my whole life. So walking out this door and going a few blocks away without him next to me shouldn't be that big a deal, right? It's just that, now that I'm not alone, I don't want to ever go back. And even feeling alone again for this short time, scares me shitless.

But that's where Brian will be so I have to go there. And it's really not that far away. I'm just being silly. I know it. So why aren't my feet moving yet? Fuck it, I just need to go.

So I push the office door open and walk through it and, of course, everything's fine. I walk the few blocks over to the Diner without any problem. I've walked up and down this street about a million times over the past few years so why I should be scared now is a mystery. But now that I've remastered this skill, I'll be fine.

Except that, the unease I got from just leaving the office alone and walking by myself is nothing compared to the anxiety I feel when I get to the Diner and contemplate going inside by myself. This is something I never did before Brian. I'd looked inside lots of times. I'd longed to go inside - the light, the warmth, the smells of cooking food - it was all so enticing, but I never dared come inside before I met Brian. How exactly was I going to do this alone? 

"Justin? Everything okay?" someone standing behind me asks and I instantly shuffle away so I'm not blocking the doorway.

But, whoever it is follows me. That's when I look up and discover that I've lucked out once again. Standing next to me with a concerned look on his face is Ben. I let out a huge relieved sigh.

"What's wrong, Justin?" Ben asks again.

"It's nothing. Just that Brian wants me to meet him here, but, I . . . I felt weird going inside by myself," Ben is one of those people who are easy to talk to and I'm not scared to explain my problem to him.

"Well, then how about if you come inside with me? God knows I'm not Brian, but I'd be happy to escort you to dinner. Will that help?" Ben says, crooking his elbow in my direction like a true gentleman.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Anytime. After you."

His 'Gone With The Wind' act makes me laugh and all my anxiety vanishes almost immediately. I follow Ben inside and he leads me to one of the far booths where he slides into a seat next to Michael, kissing him on the cheek in greeting. Ben indicates I should take the other seat, which I do gratefully. Sitting here with Brian's friends is almost as good as sitting with Brian himself. And as we talk, I'm able to relax a little and start to enjoy myself. This really isn't so bad.

Maybe by the time I get a real ID again and become a legitimate person, I'll actually feel like one too.

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Brian's POV

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The fucking traffic is a nightmare tonight. I made the mistake of thinking the highway would be faster and then, once I got on and realized it was a virtual parking lot, I was stuck. So it takes me closer to a half hour to get the less than ten miles back to Liberty Ave. I'm starting to get worried about Justin, too - I hope he's not upset that I'm so late. 

At least when I pull up to the Diner there's a parking spot almost right in front of the door. And the Diner doesn't look too packed tonight, so we will at least be able to get a table with no problem. I rush inside, looking around to find my Sunshine, but I don't see him right away. All I see is Mikey waving me over to the booth where he's sitting with Ben. 

Then I notice the big, leather-daddy type standing next to their booth talking to someone sitting with their back to me - the shock of white-blond hair tells me immediately who. And, as I watch, Butch reaches out and puts his big beefy hand on my Sunshine's shoulder. He's standing way too close and leaning down to whisper in Justin's ear on top of everything. 

The white hot stab of anger that pulses through me at that moment surprises me, but I'm not gonna stop long enough to analyze my response. I stomp up to the table, grab that offensive slab of meat he uses in lieu of a hand off Justin's shoulder and wrench it and the arm around so that Butch is now facing me. He starts to give me the same look he'd give to anyone who'd dare to do such a thing, but I guess something in my face stops him.

"What's your problem, Kinney?" is all he asks instead.

"He's not interested," I tell Butch, gesturing towards Justin.

"I'd say that's his call to make, not your's buddy," Butch challenges me.

"And I'd say, he's with me and if you don't get your fucking meat paws off him, you'll be coming on to the next guy with stubs instead. Now fuck off," I glare at him, and apparently he believes me because he sidles off with nothing more than a dirty look or two in my direction.

As soon as the Butch guy is gone, I slide into the booth next to Justin, relief flooding out the anger that I was feeling before. My blond is smiling over at me with his full wattage smile and I suddenly realize what a big jealous asshole I was just being. When I risk a glance across the booth to the professor and Mikey, I know they saw it too - Ben is beaming at me with this indulgent 'isn't love grand' smile and Mikey is staring with wide eyed disbelief. Okay, so Brian Kinney DOES do jealousy, at least where Justin is concerned. But I'm not going to admit it.

"You'd better shut your trap, Mikey, or flies are going to get in there," I say with all the nonchalance I can muster, causing Mikey to snap his mouth closed. "Professor, how's things in the realm of academia?"

"Academia is doing just fine, Brian. Thanks for asking," Ben, of course, will let me slide - he'd never be so rude as to point out anyone else's shortcomings, it would be such bad karma.

Mikey, on the other hand, is just about to explode with recriminations and demands for an explanation of my actions, etc. I have to act fast to override his natural nosiness. Luckily I've known Michael Novotny long enough that I know all his pressure points, and in the name of self-preservation, I'm going to poke one hard right now. 

"So, Mikey, I saw in the paper that Davina Davore is coming back to town. Any plans for a big family reunion?" Okay, I know this is really hitting low, but a man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do to protect his withering reputation, right?

"What? When? . . ." Michael sputters on, thoroughly distracted, thankfully, and I can relax again, my heartless asshole rep still mostly intact for the moment.

"Hey, Sunshine," I finally greet my blond companion. "Didn't mean to be so late. Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," he glows happily back at me. "That was a very 'Kinneyent' entrance you made, though."

His teasing manner throws me off guard right away and I can't help laughing at myself with him. "Yeah, I guess it was, Sunshine."

Justin leans in to kiss me sweetly right then, and I just have to take that opportunity to brush a strand of his hair out of his eyes, tucking it back behind one adorable seashell ear. I guess I forget, again, about where we are and who's watching. Its just hard to concentrate on anything else when Sunshine is sitting there being all fucking beautiful all the time. But, the sound of Debbie popping her gum breaks through my reverie. 

I look up to see Debbie standing next to the table, her order pad in hand and a schmoopy sentimental look on her face. Ben and Michael are staring as well, even the professor looking a little astounded. And behind them, at the next booth over, three or four more heads are turned our way, open-mouthed stares on each and every face. 

Shit. Oh well, the heartless asshole rep was getting old anyway. Let em think what they want. I'm still Brian Kinney and I still do whatever the fuck I want and I don't give a crap about what anyone thinks of me. So let em stare.

"Ready to order, Sunshine?" I ask and punctuate my resolve not to care what they all think with a kiss on Justin's soft, utterly-kissable cheek.

"Whatever you think, Brian," Sunshine responds with a shy smile.

"Okay. Deb, bring him a cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate shake. Wait," I look over at the tap on my arm and note the small tilt of his head, "make that a coke. And I'll have my usual."

What the fuck - let em stare!

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Justin's POV

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Brian didn't freak out at the Diner like I thought he would. I'm starting to think that maybe this thing between us can work. He really is amazing.

On the way into the loft, Brian stops to get the mail, just like he always does, sorting through it as we ride up in the elevator. As we're getting out, he hands one envelope to me and then pulls out his keys to get the door. He moves inside, depositing his briefcase on the desk and hanging up his jacket. He doesn't realize I haven't moved yet until he goes to pull the loft door closed and sees me still standing on the landing.

"Sunshine?"

I'm still looking at the envelope in my hands. It's addressed to me. Justin Taylor. I got a letter. It's another first. I'm not sure what to do now. I've never got a letter before. 

"Open it, Justin," Brian directs as he tows me inside. "It's not going to bite you."

I carefully pry open the flap and pull out a thick piece of official looking paper. It's from the bank. And, there's a plastic card attached to the bottom fold of the paper. It has my name on it too. 

"Oh good. Your ATM card is here already. That was fast," is Brian's comment as he moves over to sit at the desk and go through his own mail. "Don't forget to sign it on the back right away."

I detach the card from the sticky gunk holding it to the paper and turn it over. There's the place where you're supposed to sign it, just like Brian said. Now what?

"Sunshine," Brian waves me over and hands me a pen. "Sign your name in that white area there on the back. Good, now put it away until you need it."

Brian's directions bring up another dilemma though. Where should I keep this? Where do I keep anything? 

Screwing up my courage, I tap Brian on the arm to get his attention one more time. "Um, Brian? Were you serious about me staying here, living here, I mean?"

"Of course I was, Justin. Why?"

"Well, if I'm staying, then um maybe I could have a place to put some stuff," I say, holding out the new ATM card as an example.

Brian smiles at that. "You're right, sunshine, you are going to need some space of your own," Brian says, opening up one of the drawers of the desk and pulling out a stack of papers and a few other small items. 

"There. Your drawer. You can put your bank stuff and any other paperwork in there. And I've already cleared out some space in the dresser and the closet for your clothes. Now, what else do you need?" Brian asks me with a grin.

"Um. Maybe someplace to put my art stuff when we're here?" I hand him my sketch pad that I carry with me now almost everywhere.

"Hmm. How about on the bookcase over there by the window? Will that do?"

I nod and smile, then bustle around briefly, putting things away.

"Brian?" I interrupt him one more time, too excited not to say something.

"Yeah?" he looks up at me from the papers he's sorting.

"I have stuff," I brag. "And, places to put it all."

"Fuck, Justin," Brian laughs as he gets up and comes around the desk to grab me in a tight embrace. "You're so easy to please."

"I bet you know some other easy ways to please me," I tease.

"I just might," he whispers as he bites my earlobe lightly. "Mmmm. And, you know exactly how to please me, too."

I really do want to please him, a lot. So I drop to my knees and unzip his slacks right there. It's been more than seven hours since I had his dick in me and I'm not going to wait even a second more. As fast as I can, I get his slacks and briefs pulled down and I dive right in to feast on that delicious Kinney cock.

It takes him all of fifteen seconds to get hard as a rock while I lick and stroke him. He's got the most beautiful cock I've ever seen. I want to worship that cock for the rest of my life, if he'll let me. And I get to start right now.

At first I just suck the tip in, letting my tongue dart into his sensitive slit and play along the hard ridge. Then I trace the veins down the underside, taking in more of him as I go. Finally, when I feel him nudging against the back of my throat, I take him all in, letting myself swallow him down till my nose is buried in his soft auburn pubes. I love the smell of him - earthy, musky and with a whiff of his sandalwood soap. 

His fingers are sifting through my hair as I start to work in earnest, moving my head to the pace he sets as he begins to thrust into my mouth. While his hands guide my head, my hands massage at his thighs and his butt cheeks, brushing tentatively into his crack every few moments. I want to smile when I hear him moan out my name, but since smiling isn't easy when your mouth's full of dick, I just moan back and hopefully let the vibrations carry my sentiment back to him.  

Soon I can tell he's ready for more - he's picking up the pace, thrusting at me faster and harder. I'm ready. I suck at him a little stronger and start to stroke and massage that soft patch of skin right behind his balls. Its enough to bring him to a fast climax, his jizz shooting into me and hitting the back of my throat hard. I'm not even able to swallow fast enough to get it all as spurt after spurt gushes into my mouth. But as soon as he's done, I lap up what I missed and then climb back to my feet.

"Unhh. Fuck, Justin."

"Okay. If you insist," I answer, lacing my fingers through his and trailing an unresisting Brian behind my wiggling, needy ass up to the bedroom where I hope he'll show me exactly how easy it is to please me again and again.