Chapter 40 - Trusting.

Trusting: Inclined to rely on the integrity, strength or abilities of another; confident in the expectation of something; hopeful.

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Justin's POV

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I know Brian wants me to go home and get some real rest, but I’m not leaving him. Ever. He doesn’t yet know that part of it, but he will soon. I’ve pretty much resolved to stay with him for the rest of my life. There’s no need to get into it right now, he’ll figure it out eventually and I don’t want to freak him out, but it’s pretty much a done deal.  

I heard what Jason, the nurse Brian calls Brown Eyes, said about Brian adamantly demanding that they help him find his ‘partner’. I really like the sound of that. Maybe Brian wasn’t really serious about the idea behind the term - he was likely just using the only word to describe our relationship that he could come up with in the circumstances, but still, he did say we were ‘partners’. I know I wasn’t really ready for anything like that before, that I didn't trust him that way yet, but now . . .  well, I think I like the idea. A lot.

So, I’m not going home tonight to sleep alone in our bed. I’m staying right here. I’m going to take care of Brian. And, I’m even going to give him that sponge bath he keeps joking about, just as soon as I can get rid of Jason, who keeps hovering in Brian's room without any real justification. Jason is nice and he did help rescue me, but he’s way too interested in Brian for my taste. Time to get rid of Brown Eyes.

I decide that I'm going to need some assistance so I grab my cell phone - Ted brought over both my phone and Brian's this afternoon saying that the cleaning service had found them both in Brian's office last night - and I tap on Emmett's name in my contact list, letting my phone autodial his number for me. Em is thrilled with my little plan and says he'll be right over. I warn him to avoid going through the security at the hospital's front desk, since it's technically after visiting hours. Emmett tells me not to worry because he's got a friend who works at the hospital who can get him up to Brian's floor, no problem - thank god for Emmett and all his many, many 'friends'.

Brian is napping again - the concussion causes him to be drowsy - so I just wait outside the room for Em. It's only a few minutes before I see Emmett getting off the elevator with a tall orderly who has bright curly red hair. The stranger kisses Em on the cheek and then gooses him as the lanky southerner saunters my way, eliciting a high pitched giggle from Emmett and causing me to shake my head affectionately.

"Hey, Baby! Lead me to my next victim," Em says enthusiastically as soon as he glimpses me.

I don't even have to say anything. Right at that moment, Nurse Jason just happens to come around the corner pushing a small wheeled cart full of some medical supplies. I grab Emmett by the shoulder, point him in Jason's direction and give him a little shove. "Mmmmm, goodie!" is all Em says as he heads towards the unsuspecting Brown Eyes. And, from the glint in those brown eyes when Jason gets a peek at the lascivious look on Emmett's face, I don't think I'll have to worry about Jason bothering Brian and me for quite some time.

Then I head back into the room and get my supplies ready: a medium sized plastic tub I'd liberated from the nursing supply area earlier in the day along with a small sponge, a bottle of herbal scented body wash I picked up in the little convenience store on the hospital's ground floor, and a hand towel. I also make sure there are a few condoms and some lube ready, just in case, you know. I get everything set up next to the bed quietly while Brian naps, filling the basin with warm soapy water and then stripping my clothes off - not wanting to get them wet, right?

Next I climb up onto the bed, doing my best, what with my right arm still strapped into this sling, to move carefully so as not to wake Brian. I manage to get into the bed but as I move to straddle him so I can sit comfortably while I work, Brian's eyes flutter open. He looks a little confused at first, but that's easily handled by bending down to kiss his luscious lips, reassuring him and getting to enjoy the taste of those delicious lips at the same time. Brian doesn't say anything when I sit back up and pull around the rolling bed tray table so I can start to work.

"It's time for your sponge bath, Mr. Kinney," I say in my best sexy nurse voice. "You just lie back and relax, and I'll take care of everything."

Wetting the sponge in the basin, I then squeeze out most of the liquid before trailing the sponge down Brian's bare arm. As the warm water drips onto his skin, I see goose bumps rising. I wipe the drips away and move on, attentively cleansing his beautiful golden skin inch by inch. I sponge his arms and hands first, avoiding only the areas covered by the soft cast on his wrist. Then, with his help, I pull the black wife beater tee over his head and move on to his well-toned chest, letting the occasional drop or two of water pearl down his pecs, dripping from his erect nipples down onto the well sculpted abs below.

I watch almost mesmerized as one glistening drop of water beads on his left nipple. I just can't resist. I bend down to lick it off, and then suck on that hard little nub until I hear Brian gasp. Then I carefully sponge away the sensation of my kiss as I move my mouth to the other nipple. 

Wetting my sponge again, I gently cleanse his long neck and shoulders before returning to those tempting pecs again. I let my lips trail along behind the sponge as I go. I love the slight herbal scent of the body wash combined with Brian's warm skin - he smells edible, so I let myself nibble as well. Brian's ragged heavy breathing indicates he doesn't object at all to being my midnight snack.

A few minutes later I remember my task, and rewet my sponge to wash down his taut stomach, letting rivulets of liquid stream across his rippled abs and drip into his belly button. I have to be a little careful here, he's still so bruised from Craig's attack that even small amounts of pressure on his injuries hurt him. But I go slow and I'm gentle. And each bruise renews my resolve, my need, to stay with this remarkable man who's given so much for me.

I wash him tenderly and then I use the hand towel to dry his upper body before I move lower. Brian tries to sit up then to hold me and kiss me, but his movements result in a gasp of pain as his bruised ribs protest the motion. I quickly lean forward so he doesn't have to strain towards me, offering my lips to him so he can do what he wants. He pulls me down as he relaxes back into his pillows, his lips claiming mine as his own personal property. 

Soon, I break off the kiss in order to return to my nursing duties. I carefully scoot downwards and pull the thin hospital blanket with me. Brian has to help again, since I can't get his sweat pants down with only one hand free, although I feel guilty about this since the movement causes him more pain - fucking Craig, I'll never forgive him for hurting Brian. 

Once I have my patient completely bare, I dampen my sponge once more, and move to wipe down his hips and tighs and his long, supple, shapely legs. I wash his ticklish feet carefully so as not to cause him any discomfort. Then, I eagerly work my way back up his inner thighs, moving to kneel between his legs, bending his knees slightly and spreading them wider as I go. 

Wringing out my sponge again, I let a few drops drip onto his sloping inner thighs so that they roll down towards his groin. I can tell they're tickling him as he strains not to move. I let the water drops bead into his curly dark pubes but I use the sponge to swipe the ticklish sensation away from his skin in their wake. Then I carefully let a drop or two fall onto the beautiful thick cock below, watching amusedly as it jumps from the cool sensation. 

And I just have to touch him then. I teasingly run the corner of my sponge up from the base of his cock along the large pulsing vein, tickling him and letting little beads of moisture dribble down the sides of his dick, my warm finger following along behind the cool wet sponge, countering the sensation. He's so long and thick when he's full like this and I love the soft-as-silk texture of his skin. 

I adore Brian's cock. It's by far my favorite toy and I would love to play with it all day long if I could. So now I indulge myself a little, knowing we have plenty of time, for once. I let myself touch and stroke and explore that wondrous toy, taking my time. He's getting harder as I play and I'm enjoying the little mewling noises he's making as I flick my thumb across the tip of his dick, smearing a little precum around in the process.

"Justin, do you plan to just keep torturing me like this?" Brian gasps out. "You're a cruel, cruel man, Sunshine. Enough with the tender little touches. Grab hold and pull, damn it."

His protests make me laugh but I take his words to heart as well and I drop my sponge so I can wrap my fingers around him more firmly. I hear Brian sigh contentedly as I begin stroking him harder. He starts to arch his groin upwards in pleasure but then winces at the pain and falls back.

"Relax," I whisper into his ear. "You don't have to do anything. Let me do it all, Brian. I want to please you like you've never been before. But you have to let me take care of you for once, Mr. Kinney. You're in no shape to do anything other than lie there and let me make love to you. So, no arguments, okay? I'm in charge this once."

Brian chuckles but doesn't protest so I smile down at him as I sit up and keep stroking him at an agonizingly slow pace. I can tell he's fighting not to move, not to somehow force me to go faster and harder. But he's trying to restrain himself, so I relent and speed up, just a bit. Brian lets out a tiny 'Ahh' of pleasure.

But I want more. I'm not going to stop at a mere handjob this time. I reach towards the rolling tray table and pull it towards me for more supplies. First I grab the lube and manage awkwardly with my single free arm to get a handful, which I use on myself, preparing my hole as Brian watches, licking his lips occasionally in anticipation. When I know I'm ready, and so needy too, I deftly get the condom unrolled on his dick and use a little more lube on him. Brian's being a good patient little patient all this while, apparently content to watch while I do my best with my one hand.

Then, I scoot forward and grab hold of Brian's sheathed cock, lining myself up. I love the gleam of lust I see in Brian's excited eyes while he watches my slow movements. When I finally let myself slide down onto that steel hard rod, he's groaning right along with me. I have to wait a minute or two then, and let my ass adjust, because he's so fucking huge. But the painful burn fades quickly to desire as I look down on the gorgeous countenance of this man that I love so much. And, almost before I realize I'm doing it, I start to raise myself up and then slide back down, over and over again.

"Justin. Fuck, you look so beautiful like this," Brian moans. "Ride me, Sunshine. Ride me."

It's a bit hard to balance correctly with this sling/strap contraption on me, and a couple of times I find myself almost falling over, catching myself at the last moment by adjusting the tension in my thighs. But, my rhythm is off because of it too, damn it. I'm getting pissed off and frustrated. But then Brian reaches his good right hand up and laces his fingers with my free hand so that I'm braced more fully. Hand in hand, just like that, I keep on, now able to Increase my rhythm with his support.

After that it doesn't take much time at all before we both near a climax. Inching my knees forward a bit, I get the angle just perfect so that each time I drop down onto his thick throbbing shaft, he brushes across my sweet spot, causing me to wriggle and writhe on every upstroke. I'm pretty much a moaning mess by this point, my head thrown back, my eyes closed, only holding on because of Brian's continued grip on my fingers. The only thing I can still clearly think of is my need to take him into me more, deeper, harder, until there's nothing separating us at all. 

That's when I feel the tiny electric spark ignite somewhere near the base of my balls. It catches fire easily, inflaming all my nerves and spreading quickly from my balls up my spine till it explodes, setting my body on fire through every nerve and pore and cascading back down till my dick and my ass convulse in firery pleasure. Through my slitted eyelids I can see thick ropes of cum landing across Brian's chest and splattering onto his face and arms. His face shows almost pure ecstasy as well at that moment, and a second later I can feel his dick twitching and jumping inside me as he shoots his load, moaning out my name as he cums inside me. 

My thigh muscles are burning from the strain of holding myself still until Brian finishes and I eventually can't hold myself in that position any longer, collapsing down onto his chest. I hold him as tightly as I can with my one free arm, burying my heated face into his neck and breathing in the smell of sex that now coats us both. The pungent scent makes me laugh - he's messier now than he was when I started his sponge bath. But neither of us cares. 

I snuggle down into him, disregarding the pools of cum now gluing us together, replete and happy, with his softening dick still inside me making me feel whole at last.

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Brian's POV

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My naughty little nurse boy is sound asleep on my chest. He's already snoring slightly and his body feels heavy and limp as it drapes over mine. Fuck, I love the feeling of him when he's like this - sprawled across me, totally without pretence, abandoning himself to sleep and my care. The peaceful, contented look on his face is almost overwhelming, especially after everything we've been through in the past two days. He looks so fucking sweet, I'm not sure if I want to roll him over and fuck the living daylights out of him or just curl up and cuddle him while he sleeps. 

And yes, I just thought the word 'cuddle' and I'm not taking it back because I actually do want to cuddle him to me right at this instant - I'll worry about how ridiculous and lesbionic it seems later. For now, I gingerly pull out of him and toss the condom at the trash can by the doorway. Then I gently shift Justin's sleepy form over so he's lying on his left side to avoid pressure on his injured shoulder. I manage to find the hand towel he left on the table and wipe both of us off a bit. Then I curl around his compact body, pulling him as close as our two separate bodies can get, and I let myself soak in the happy contentment he radiates. I feel a silly happy grin on my lips as I finally let myself drift off to sleep with my precious treasure nestled safely in my arms. 

The bright sunlight streaming through the window blinds me as I try to discover the source of the clattering noise that wakes me the next morning. After blinking several times and extricating my arm from under Justin's torso so I can shade my eyes, I finally locate the cause of the commotion on the floor by the now gaping door. Apparently, the very young looking nutrition staff worker who was supposed to deliver my breakfast wasn't prepared for the sight of two naked men lying entwined together in one bed. She must have dropped my tray as soon as she opened the door. Unfortunately for her, when she jumped backwards to avoid being splashed, she knocked into the cart with all the other trays, too. The poor girl now has quite a mess to clean up.

Justin's awake too, trying to suppress a giggle at the sight of the girl struggling to clean up the spilled trays while studiously avoiding looking at us. I decide to help her out by pulling the rumpled sheet up to cover our seemingly offensive nakedness. However, I can't help the impish impulse that impels me to lean in and kiss away Justin's laughter, chuckling myself at the gasp of surprise that arises from the direction of the doorway. I've always prided myself in helping to educate young people, and this girl is really getting quite the education this morning.

A minute or two later, someone else comes over to help little Miss Butterfingers. This one's older and she doesn't blink an eye at the little spectacle we're providing. She just lays into little Butterfingers, berating her for her clumsiness. It kind of takes all the fun out of it for me, so Justin and I stop kissing and just watch in sympathy as the girl stammers out an excuse to the pushy older woman. 

When the old battle axe finally leaves, pulling the door to the room closed, I sit up and extricate myself from Justin enough to reach the foot of the bed, where my clothing landed last night. I figure we both better get dressed, before we cause any more havoc. But Justin has other plans - damn the havoc quotient. He hops out of bed and grabs the clothes out of my hand, tossing them back onto the bed. Then he pulls me towards the bathroom, and promptly locks the door behind us. 

Justin carefully unlaces and removes the soft cast on my wrist. Then I help him out of the sling keeping his shoulder immobilized. He winces slightly as I remove the final straps, clearly the mere weight of his unsupported arm causing him pain. It's the first time I've seen him without the sling and I'm appalled at the horrible bruising painting his skin grotesque shades of purple, green and black. Fuck Craig Taylor. I almost wish he wasn't in jail right now so I could track him down and beat the shit out of him for doing this to Justin. Then I feel a twinge myself as I move in a way that aggravates my sore ribs and I realize that I'm not in any shape to take my revenge on Craig so he might as well be in jail. 

Justin turns on the water in the shower and waits till its the right temp. Then he steps into the cramped little shower stall, beckoning me to follow. This shower's not really designed for two, but that just means we have to stand closer together, which isn't exactly a problem. I take a handful of the liquid soap from the wall dispenser and gently wash Justin's back and chest, trying futilely to wash away the ugly bruises in the process. I can tell his shoulder hurts him awfully, every time I touch that side of his body he flinches. But, at the same time I can feel that he's hard as a rock and he's grinding his ass back into my crotch.

"Justin, you can't be serious," I tell him. "I don't want to hurt you. Your shoulder. . . "

"My shoulder will be fine. I need you, Brian. I want you inside me, now," he's moaning, braced with his good hand against the shower wall and grinding his ass against my dick over and over.

Shit, I'm not made out of steel. If my boy wants me to fuck him, I can't really see a good reason to say no, even with his shoulder and my wrist and ribs slowing us down. So, when Justin thrusts a convenient condom into my hand - the wily little fucker - I tear it open and put it on without thinking twice. But, that's when the real challenge starts. 

My left wrist is pretty much useless, but I can still use that arm to wrap around Justin and hold him steady while I quickly find his needy little hole and stretch him with my other hand. He's leaning back into my shoulder and groaning - I'm not sure if it's from pleasure at my thrusting fingers or from pain because of his shoulder. I'm hoping it's pleasure, because I don't want to stop now. 

Using the liquid soap instead of lube, I lather us both and then carefully and slowly guide myself till I'm balls deep inside him. He always feels so incredibly tight and hot, I can't get over it. He's perfect, always. How is it we seem to fit together just right?

I have to go slowly. Justin is using his good hand to brace us up against the wall and I'm using my good hand to hold his hips. But even so, I'm so afraid of hurting him that I'm moving excruciatingly slowly. It's tormenting and erotic at the same time. And it feels like we're there for hours, moving together, threading our way between the pleasure and the pain with tiny, intimate movements, guided by equal portions of fear and anticipation. The slowly building potential filling my gut until I know I'm almost there. 

I reach around, then, to Justin's jutting cock, and start to stroke him in slow motions matching our careful rhythm. He turns his head to the side so that our lips meet in a tender, lingering kiss as I work at him. Then, as I swirl the pad of my thumb across the tip of his head, he starts to cum for me, harder than I'd expect considering our slow pace. He's painting the shower walls with his cum and his ass is clenching at my dick and then I'm cuming too, holding on to his slim frame for dear life. I bite into the soft flesh of his shoulder for additional support as my body is wracked again and again against his until every drop of my essence feels drained. And the water from the shower pelts down on us, as if trying to wash away the fear and pain that finally seems to dissipate as we slowly recover our senses.

We stand there, it seems like forever, neither willing to move. When I finally pull out of him, he cries out and I'm afraid that I've hurt him. He just shakes his head with an enigmatic little smile, though, when he sees my concerned look. I turn off the water and pull open the shower curtain then we gingerly help each other out. I carefully towel Justin off and then grab us fresh clothing from the duffle bag lying next to the bathroom door. After helping him get a shirt on - me wincing even more than he does each time I jostle his shoulder in the process - I put the sling restraint thing back on him, feeling him sigh in relief as I tighten the final strap.

Then I dress myself and Justin helps me lace back up the cast onto my wrist. We're both finally dressed and re-outfitted with all requisite medical gear, and seated demurely on the bed, when a very tentative knock at the door interrupts us. I yell out, "come in". The door opens very slightly and our sad little Butterfingers peeks around the jamb hesitatingly to make sure she's not interrupting us again. I really want to laugh at the fearful look on the girl's face but I manage to restrain myself.

"I have your breakfast, Sir?" she says, making it somehow sound like a question. "I'm s-s-sorry about waking y-y-you earlier."

"Thats quite all right, Butterfingers. We're wide awake and freshly showered and ready for some sustenance," I try to cajole her so she'll actually dare to come further into the room. "So, tell me what lovely offerings the hospital has provided for our gustatory pleasure this morning?"

"I-I-I didn't know that . . . I only brought the one tray. . . I can go back and ask . . ." Butterfingers says, her hands now shaking so much I'm afraid she'll drop this tray too, so I quickly jump up and grab it away from her.

"Don't bother," I try to reassure the trembling waif. "Justin here is no longer officially a patient. He's actually more of an 'impatient' - he's just waiting around, keeping me company until I get my own walking orders. So, you don't need to worry about any more trays, Butterfingers. This one will be sufficient. Justin can forage for his own meal, can't you, Sunshine?"

"Yep. In fact, I think the Starbucks down the block will suffice - their coffee is better and they have chocolate chip muffins," Justin confirms, winking at Butterfingers as he hops off the bed and takes his jacket down from the hook behind the door. "I'll happily leave you to your dry, whole wheat toast, limp turkey bacon and lumpy, cold oatmeal, Brian."

"Twat! Just be sure and bring me back some coffee, you hear," I tease as he sashays out of the room. 

"Now, Miss Butterfingers," I tell the girl who's trying to back away from me as if I'm likely to eat her as soon as I finish my breakfast tray. "On your way out, would you mind asking the duty nurse to step in. I think I need to light a fire under the doctor if I'm ever getting out of here today."

Butterfingers stammers her acknowledgment and flees. That's why Debbie finds me chuckling over my breakfast when she barges in about thirty seconds later. She doesn't even say anything, just takes one look at my sorry excuse for a breakfast, picks the tray up and deposits it on a counter across the room and then opens her bag and pulls out two take out boxes from the Diner and her trusty thermos. The coffee smells divine and one of the two boxes has an egg white omelet and a side of fresh fruit in it.

"Thank you, Deb," I say after the first mouthful of omelet. "You are a true angel of mercy. I'm not sure how I was going to manage that glop the hospital was trying to pass off as food."

"I've always said," Deb replies, "that the reason so many people die in hospitals is because of the crap they try to feed you. Now, where's Sunshine, I brought him breakfast too. I figured he'd be here?"

"He'll be right back. I sent him out foraging for edibles before you arrived," I inform her. "But, what brings you here so early? I thought you were covering Brian and Justin loft duty later, after I got discharged and Ted got me home. Nobody was supposed to be on hospital visit duty. I'm pretty sure I had you all shooed away yesterday."

"Yeah. But that's before I found out from Ted this morning at breakfast about your visitor yesterday afternoon and why your discharge got delayed a day. Damn it Brian, why didnt you tell me? Don't you ever think to call and let me know about shit like that? All I heard was you were going to stay another night for 'observation'. I can't believe you're so fucking blasé about Justin's father coming here and beating the shit out of you that it just slipped your mind? Fuck that."

"I didn't want you to worry, Deb. It's no big deal. I'm fine - just a few more stitches and some bruised ribs. And that bastard, Craig, is safely where he belongs behind bars now so there's nothing more to worry about."

"What about Sunshine?" Deb is concerned. "He's got to fucking be reeling after having to confront that fucking monster. Is he okay?"

"I'm great, Deb," Justin says, taking that opportunity to burst through the door with a cardboard drink caddy and a bag full of pastries.

"Oh, Justin, Sunshine, come here and give me a hug," Debbie demands as soon as he sets down all the food. "God, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that on top of everything else, Sweetie. Here, put those other things down and come eat some real breakfast first."

Justin, wisely, complies and Debbie immediately arranges him on the bed next to me with his take out breakfast in front of him. Then, once we're both situated to her liking, and eating, Deb proceeds to lecture us for the duration of our meal about not trying to handle everything on our own with out help from the family, etc., etc.

Justin and I simply eat and occasionally grin sideways at each other, not bothering to listen or correct her gross attempts at mothering us. It's good to be mothered a little every so often, and fuck knows Debbie needs to get her fix somehow, so I'm not gonna stop her. It's only when something she says finally seeps into my consciousness that I interrupt.

"Whoa! Back up, Deb. You told Jennifer?" I demand of her, turning at once to make sure the boy sitting next to me isnt freaking at the news. "Fuck. Justin, are you okay with this?" 

"I guess," he says with his signature shrug.

"What the fuck was I supposed to say, Brian?" Deb complains. "She walked into the Diner right after Ted told me what happened and asked if I'd heard anything from you or Justin lately. I'm not going to fucking lie to a mother when her kid's in the hospital after getting run off the road and then beat up by her Ex. She deserves to know. So, just be ready. I told her I was heading over here to see you but that she could come visit in an hour. Which is right about now. So . . ."

"Fuck, Debbie. You should have called and told us first, or something . . ." I start to argue with the meddlesome beldame but I'm interrupted by the loud knock at the door.

"Justin?" Jennifer's voice precedes her as she enters the hospital room. 

Justin is sitting close beside me and I can feel the muscles in his thigh tense at the sound as if he's going to bolt. But he doesn't. He just reaches over and grasps my hand, linking our fingers together to get the physical contact he needs to confront this new challenge. Then he lifts his chin up slightly and waits for what's coming next.

"Justin, sweetheart, my god. Are you okay? Your arm? Oh, my!" Jennifer gushes as she comes into the room and hurries over to Justin, only stopped from taking him into a big hug by my presence so close.

"I've been so worried about you, dear," Jennifer goes on. "Ever since I got off the phone with Brian the other day, and realized that your father had your phone number now, I've been frantic. I tried calling both of you several times but you never called me back. That in itself made me even more worried. So I went to see Debbie this morning to see if she would tell me any news."

"Justin, I know that I promised not to push - that I'd leave it at phone calls for the time being - but I just had to see you and make sure you were alright. Please don't get upset or angry that I came here today."

"I'm not angry, mother. I understand your concern. But . . . " Justin hesitates over whatever he's going to say and looks over at me briefly before continuing. "We've been talking on the phone lately and sort of getting to know each other again, right? I was even starting to get more comfortable with the idea of having you back in my life. I know you're frustrated by how slow you feel everything is going, but I just have a hard time trusting people. You and Craig made me this way, I figure, so you really have no reason to complain."

"I'm so sorry about all that, Justin. I've already apologized a hundred times. Can't you move beyond all that?" Jennifer remarks, her frustration evident from her tone.

"Actually, no. I can't get beyond 'all that'," Justin responds, the edge of anger in his voice surprising me since he's usually so placid when he talks to his mother. "You say 'all that' like its some small thing - a tiny blip in an otherwise normal life. But it's so fucking much more. It's everything that I am. Everything that made me who I am today. There's so much shit in my past that I'm not sure I'll ever even remember it all let alone ever be able to deal with it. And the single biggest thing that I can't seem to wrap my head around no matter how hard I try is that you were there all that time and didn't do anything to stop it."

"Justin, I . . . "

"Let me finish," Justin stops her excuses before she can start. "I realize that Craig is a royal fucked up bastard and he did a number on you as well as on me. I get that. But knowing that doesn't really change the fact that you're my mother and I trusted you to take care of me and you didn't. How the fuck do I ever get beyond that? Huh?"

"And then, when I start to let you back into my life, you betray my trust again by letting that monster know about me and about how to find me?" Justin is almost yelling now in his anger. "Yes, I know it was an accident and, from what Brian told me yesterday, I get that he didn't help matters much by making Craig angry in the first place. But that doesn't change the fact that it was you who let him find out about me again. How can I keep doing this? How can I trust you ever again?"

Jennifer is sobbing. Debbie is standing behind her, appearing torn between comforting Jennifer and supporting Justin. I'm sitting here next to a seething, furious blond unable to do more than rub his back to comfort him. And I don't see any good way to resolve this mess. 

I'm as unbelieving as Justin when it comes to promises made by parents. However, I feel more than a little guilty about all this. If it weren't for my deal with Craig, he never would have had to go to Jennifer to explain why he couldn't pay her alimony. And, if he hadn't been in her house when I called - using Justin's phone, by the way - he'd still be in the dark about his son's whereabouts. I always expected that eventually Craig would come after me when the shit all came down on him after our deal, but I'd never once thought it would rebound onto Justin.

Now, not only are Justin and I recovering from the results of my machinations against Craig, but Jennifer is going to be permanently hurt financially because of what I've done, and it looks like I've destroyed any chance their relationship might have had. Way to go, Kinney. All I need now is a blind person to trip and a baby to steal candy from and my job here will be complete.

"I don't know how, Justin, but I still want to try to earn back your trust. Please? Isn't there some way?" Jennifer begs.

"I don't see how," Justin says adamantly. "There's no way I'm going to trust you with my new phone number now, let alone my address. So how do you propose we work this? I can't even trust you with my contact info."

Debbie, my very own version of a mother, is looking at me and not at the mother and son arguing in front of us. I sense she's looking to me to solve this. I can see the empathy she's feeling for Jennifer, but in spite of that Debbie is loyal to a fault and would never let anything hurt me, or by extension, Justin. She understands trust better than anyone I know. As crass and loud and sometimes overbearing as she is, I still trust her with everything. Maybe . . . maybe she can teach these two how to trust, too?

"Justin. Jennifer. I have a suggestion," I say, interrupting their sad staring contest. "What about a neutral third party acting as an intermediate? Someone who could keep both parties' trust? You could contact each other through that third party and even maybe meet there occasionally on neutral ground, so to speak. It would take all the trust issues out of the equation and then maybe you could just work on the other stuff?"

"I could live with that," Jennifer jumps at the offered solution eagerly.

Justin is a lot more cautious. "Who? It can't be you, Brian. Not if we're together. So who else is there that we can all trust?"

"Deb?" I suggest. "Jennifer already seems comfortable coming to her for info about you. And I trust Deb implicitly - she's been there for me whenever I needed her since I was fourteen. What do you think, Sunshine? Could you trust Debbie?"

Debbie's already beaming at me like I was some fucking genius. She's confident that it's the perfect solution. Justin, on the other hand, is still undecided. He's scrutinizing Debbie as if he plans to dissect her later for a science experiment. Fuck, Justin - you have to trust someone, sometime. 

I'm almost ready to give up and head back to the drawing board, when I hear Justin sigh and I feel him relax back against my side. He's going to try it. He nods at Deb and his mother and then reaches up to turn my face to his. And, with all the trust in the world, he pulls me in for a kiss. Maybe I can fix this, too?

Debbie and Jennifer immediately start making plans. It sounds like Jennifer is going to start joining the group for family dinner on Sundays. That way Justin and his mom can start to reconnect but in a non-threatening way. Plus, Jennifer will get to see more of what Justin's new life is like. And, Debbie gets another person to stuff full of her pasta every week. It's a rather elegant solution, if I do say so myself. 

So, why do I suddenly feel so weird? 

Fuck! Did I just set up the inlaws to get together for dinner?