Chapter 5 - Rescue.

Rescue:  To save someone from a dangerous or distressing situation.

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Justin's POV

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I'm just not used to sleeping much past dawn.  Once the sun comes up, people start to show up and I'd better be on my way if I don't want to get hassled.  So I'm up at about 7:00 am, even here in His loft.  I remember waking Him up a couple times during the night - I feel bad about that, so I try not to make any noise and just let Brian sleep some more.  

While he's asleep I wander around and let my curiosity free a little - yesterday I was just too tired, it seemed, to spend any time really looking over my surroundings, but I've got time now so I indulge. This place is beautiful. Too nice, in fact - it makes me nervous touching anything, since I'm afraid I'll break it or get it dirty. So I just look and try not to touch anything.

On His desk I see a bunch of pictures and drawings that interest me. I study some of the drawings for a bit. I'm fascinated by the ideas I see - the ideas are really inspiring, but I think I might be able to do a better job on the drawing, so I sit at the desk and draw on the back of one of the papers for a while till I'm satisfied with my work. I think it looks really good - it's a pretty good rendering of a longboard with a cool business logo drawn on it, a trail of smoking flames in the board's wake. I think the picture will go well with the advertising slogan Brian was apparently playing with. I hope He likes it. I put my drawing on His kitchen counter where I'm sure He'll see it when He wakes up.

I wish He was awake already. It's getting late and I probably should get going. I never like to outstay my welcome when a John's been nice enough to let me stay the night. They usually don't like it much if you're still hanging around when they get up.  

But I sorta liked Brian, and I'm kinda sorry he never did get around to fucking me. I feel like it was my fault - I really wasn't feeling all that great and I did fall asleep on him twice. He was so nice to me too - feeding me and letting me shower and all. I think maybe he or one of his friends even paid the doctors for when I passed out. I almost decide to stay and see if he still wants to fuck me to pay him back for everything.

I change my mind, though - it's always best to just get out early in the mornings. The last thing I want is to piss Him off by staying when I should be moving on like I'm expected to. But, since he was so nice, I decide to leave him some money to pay him back in case he paid for the doctor. I only have a bit over two hundred left at this point - I wish I could leave more, but I figure $50 should be a start at least. I put the money on the counter next to the drawing I made. Then I change back into my old clothes and quietly slip out the door, back to the streets where I live.

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Brian's POV

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Everybody has his or her marching orders. Em and Ted are looking down by the river where there are a bunch of homeless camps. Michael and his new boyfriend, Ben, are going to go over to where the hustler boys hang out and see if they can get some info from them. Lindsey and Mel, who conveniently happened to be having breakfast at the diner already, are off to go talk to the director of the homeless teen shelter and then the teen resource center at the GLC. Deb is spreading the word through the Diner's clientele while she works. That should cover all the known bases in and around Liberty Avenue.

The only problem with our plan is that I somehow get the feeling that Justin won't be found in one of the usual places - if so, someone would have seen him around before now, and that definitely wasn't the case. The kid was a complete newcomer on the Avenue - before he turned up in front of Torso and passed out the other day, no one had ever seen him. But from the way the kid acted, he'd been on the streets a long time. So where had this above average looking kid been hiding all this time?

The only clue I have is the torn and crumpled flyer I find left over in the pocket of the jacket I'd let him borrow earlier. It was from one of those religious based homeless shelters - it wasn't on Liberty, but wasn't that far away either. That’s where I head first.  

Shit, I hope we find him quickly - it feels even colder out today than it did the day Emmett found him passed out in front of Torso. The weather report is calling for snow later in the day, too. I don't want Justin outside on a day like this. He’s still sick - he hasn't even taken the meds he'd been given at the hospital. Another night on the streets in below freezing temperatures would probably finish him off for good. That thought chilled my blood more than the frigid temperatures outside.

The guy at the Third Street Baptist Shelter didn't recognize my description of Justin, but he did recommend that I try over at the Presbyterian Church - because of the arctic temperatures, they were keeping the doors to their soup kitchen open all day long today and word was apparently out on the streets already. So I trudge over there and start asking around to see if anyone had seen Sunshine recently.  

Paydirt! One craggy old street veteran - he looks like he’s about ninety, which means he’s probably only a meth addict a little older than me - recognizes my description of Justin and tells me to check out the park a few blocks away. He says he's seen Justin hanging out there in the past - sometimes drawing the kids on the playground and trying to sell the drawings to their doting parents.  

I really hope this guy's right. The snow is already starting to fall and I can't imagine that thin-framed kid out on the streets tonight. I remember the feel of his slim, trembling body in my arms last night and I start to panic a bit. I want him back. I don't want to even think about Justin out here in this cold. I wish I knew why he'd left. I wish I knew how to help him.

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Justin's POV

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I was right before to wonder how I would survive back out here after leaving His place. I wish He hadn't been so nice to me. If He'd been like just another John, I wouldn't still be thinking about Him. That's always the problem with the nice ones - you get unreasonable expectations and then it hurts even more when you end up back where you started.  

I really should know better. That's one lesson my father taught me well. He always said that I took too much for granted. He used to say it was for my own good when he'd lock me in my room without food for days. You never wanted to get to where you took shit for granted, he'd tell me. It made you appreciate what you did have all the more when you were never sure if you'd get whatever it was - food, warmth, attention - ever again.  

You especially didn't want to take people for granted. When they disappeared, like they always did, it hurt even more than when you lost the physical shit like clothes, food, possessions. That's why you never, ever, under ANY circumstances, let yourself get close to anyone.  

I try to get Him out of my head again. I know I'll probably never see Him again, so I should just forget about Him and get on with thinking about finding something to eat. I definitely shouldn't be thinking back to all that delicious food He gave me.  

That's when I remember the chocolate cake I never got to taste and I want to cry again - I really would have liked to taste that cake. Shake it off Taylor - remember, stuff like that isn't meant for trash like you. You're better off not having tried the cake - you'd just be thinking about it all day and wishing for more and that was exactly the kind of unproductive thinking that would get you in trouble.  

I think maybe I'll use some of the money I have left to get a burrito from that little store off the park. Their burritos are huge - one of the best values around - and I feel like maybe splurging on food will help get my mind off Him. So, I head towards the park and my lunchtime plans.  

With my Honkin' Huge Burrito in hand, I walk towards my favorite bench to sit and eat. I always try to sit here near the playground when I eat. I like listening to the kids laughing and playing and watching the happy parents - it's like one of those sitcoms from the seventies about the happy family where the kids are always getting into some snafu that everyone ends up laughing over in the end. Watching the little fictions played out here is almost as entertaining as having the actual television.  

There aren't many people out today though since it's just too cold. There is only one dad and his kid - who is probably about 5 or 6 - out playing in the snow. I have a fuzzy memory of playing like that in the snow with my mother, so watching these two makes me smile and I lose track of time while I'm sitting there.  

I don't know how much longer it is when I notice someone has joined me on the bench. I almost jump up and run when I look over and see that it's Him. Fuck. How did He find me? And why? Is He pissed at me about something? I know he didn't get to fuck me because I wasn't feeling good, but I didn't ask him for any money. I even left him some to pay for the doctor. Shit, why is He here? Why is He looking at me like that? I was just starting to get Him out of my head and now He’s back, making it harder again.  

"Justin, why did you leave this morning?" He asks me. "I was worried about you. I have Emmett and Michael and practically everyone else I know, out looking for you. You're still sick, you know. The doctor said you should be in bed, or at least resting. You definitely should not be out here in the cold, especially without a much warmer jacket on."

I'm confused again by His words. I really don't understand why He's here looking for me. What does He mean He was worried about me? Why? My head feels hot and funny and I really don't want to have to figure this out right now. What does He want from me? I just want Him to go away so I can watch the kid and his father play some more and then maybe find a place to sleep.  

"Justin? You don't look very good. What's wrong?" Brian asks, looking at me, then he slowly reaches over to turn my chin so I'm facing him. "Shit. You're burning up with fever, Sunshine. You shouldn't be out here in the cold like this. Come on. You're coming back home with me and you will NOT leave again until I say it's okay. Do you hear me?"

I would protest but I feel so weak all of a sudden. Brian has scooted nearer to me on the bench now and He's put His arms around me again. It's warmer with Him next to me - his body blocks some of the wind. I start to feel dizzy-like, even with Him holding me up. What was I going to say?

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Brian's POV

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Thank fuck I found him when I did. He's burning hot, in spite of the fact that he's sitting here on this exposed park bench in the snow. I thought the cold the doctor mentioned would be getting better by now, not worse. I have to get him home and into a warm bed. He seems so confused again, poor kid. I wish I knew why he left this morning in the first place.  

Before I get up, I quickly phone Michael and tell him to call off the troops. I remember to tell him to have his Mom bring over some hot soup for the kid when she gets done at the Diner. Then I scoop up the boy and start to carry him back towards where I left the Jeep.

"Brian," I hear him rasp quietly, his throat obviously sore from this cold.  

"Hey, you CAN talk, Sunshine. I was beginning to wonder. But save it for later, okay. Right now I'm taking you back home. You just rest," I order, while his long dark blond eyelashes flutter closed and he falls asleep again.

I manage to get Justin back to the loft, strip off those filthy clothes and get him in bed under the covers, but at that point I'm completely lost as to what to do next. I have vague memories from old movies about putting sick kids in the bathtub to bring down their fever, but I don't have a bath and for some reason I don't think a shower will work the same. Also, Justin missed his morning dose of the meds the doc sent home and now I'm not sure if I should give him the next dose or not. Do I try to wake him up and make him eat or just let him sleep? Shit, sick little blond twinks should come with instruction manuals - I'm so fucked.  

In my utter state of panic I resort to my last best option - I decide to call for help. I would normally call Debbie in a situation like this, but she's working till after the lunch shift and I can't deal with this alone that long. I opt instead for calling Lindsey. She's a mother - she has to have the right genes for this kind of thing, doesn’t she? After she finishes chortling at my distress, Lindz agrees to come right over to help.  

Once Lindz arrives, everything calms down pretty fast - well at least I calm down. She tells me to leave Justin in bed - forget the shower or waking him to eat or take his meds. She does get a sports bottle and fill it with ice water and puts it by the bed and tells me to make sure he drinks as much water as possible when he wakes to make sure he stays hydrated. I can do that. She calls the doctor for me and gets the okay to continue with Justin's meds when he does wake. I can also give him ibuprofen to help bring down the fever. Then Lindz makes the two of us lunch and she forces me to sit down and eat. And she doesn't even laugh at me too much for freaking out before.

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Justin's POV

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I'm totally disoriented when I wake up. I don’t know where I'm at or how I got here. It looks familiar but I'm not sure why. I'm in a bed in a house, though, not on the streets in one of my more familiar hidey holes.  

My head is killing me - I have a headache like you wouldn't believe and I feel achy all over. Did I get beat up again and just not remember? I don't know where my clothes are either. Maybe I'm at another John's place. That doesn't explain why I don't remember where I'm at though.  

I keep drifting in and out. I don't usually take drugs - mostly because I can rarely afford them - but the way I feel, maybe someone slipped something to me. It wouldn't be the first time. It's not a very good high, though, my head is pounding and my throat hurts and I feel really cold even though I'm under a pile of blankets. Shit. Whatever it was I took, I wish I hadn't.  

The next time I wake up, it finally all makes sense. Brian. I see Him. He comes into the room where I'm sleeping and He smiles at me. So that explains why this place seems familiar - He must have brought me back to His loft for some reason.

He's carrying a mug of something hot - I think it's coffee. It smells so wonderful - I can even smell it through this stuffy nose. I wonder if He'll let me have some. I feel so fucking cold and I think that might help me warm up, but I'm hesitant to ask Him. At least not until I find out why He's brought me back here.  

"Hey there. Glad to see you're finally awake, Sunshine," He says, still smiling at me. "I was beginning to think you weren't gonna wake up at all. Are you hungry?"

Actually, I'm not very hungry, which in and of itself is pretty weird, since I'm always hungry. I just shrug - I'm still nervous about why I'm here again so I don't really want to say much yet. I wish I knew where my clothes are, though - all my money was in them as well as my other stuff. I mean, I don't really have much anymore, but I don't want to lose what I do still have.  

"Justin, please talk to me. I can tell you're upset about something. But I won't know what’s wrong, though, unless you tell me." Brian sits on the edge of the bed next to me, holding out the coffee cup as He speaks, and I grab it before He changes his mind.  

"My clothes?" I croak around the rasp in my throat.

"I'm washing them for you," He says. I must still look worried or something, though, because He quickly adds, "Don't worry, all your stuff is over there on the dresser."

I sit up in the bed so I can sip at the coffee. Brian is still sitting next to me. He looks concerned. He places one hand on my forehead. His hand feels cool - it's nice. The coffee tastes great and feels good on my sore throat. But I'm still cold.

"You still have a fever," Brian states, still with that worried look. "I’m afraid I don’t actually own a thermometer, so I don’t know how high your temp is. Maybe I should take you back to the doctor?"

"No!" I don't want to go to the hospital or even to the doctor - even though this last time wasn't that awful, I have bad memories of those places.

"Okay, okay. No doctors," Brian quickly agrees, trying to keep me from jumping out of the bed. "But you have to promise me something, Justin. You have to promise that you won't leave again. Not until I tell you it's okay. You'll never get well at this rate if you keep wandering around in the cold. Plus, I don't want to have to keep tracking you down in the snow. Do you promise?"

I'm still not sure why He's trying to keep me here. Brian seems nice, but I still don't like it that He won't let me leave. I don't like to be kept inside places. It reminds me of my father. But if I don't agree He said he'd take me back to the doctor, and I like that idea even less, so I reluctantly nod. I guess I will stay, at least for now.

"Good. Thank you. Now, you need to try and eat something so you can take your meds. Deb brought you some homemade chicken soup. I can tell you from personal experience that it's pretty decent stuff - she used to stuff me full of that shit when I was sick as a kid."

Brian hands me some clothes that He pulls out of a dresser drawer. These look like the clothes He brought me when I was at the hospital. I wonder briefly why he has clothes that are clearly not his size or style. I guess it doesn’t really matter, though. I put them on and follow him out to the kitchen. He tells me to sit at the kitchen island while he heats up some soup for both of us. He makes me drink a large glass of water while we wait, telling me something about dehydration. I’m kinda not really listening anymore though since my head still hurts really bad. I don’t remember ever feeling this tired and weak. I would really like to just go back to sleep, but He’s working to make me food and everything, so I have to stay here and be polite and pretend to listen.

Finally the food is ready and He gets me a bowl. It tastes fantastic. The hot soup makes my throat feel a lot better. I guess I am hungrier than I thought - I manage to eat pretty much the whole bowl. Then Brian gives me a couple ibuprofen and another large white pill that I’m supposed to take. I swallow obediently. Now what, I wonder?