Chapter 7 - Misconception.

Misconception: A view or opinion that is incorrect because based on faulty thinking or understanding.

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Brian's POV

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I peek into the rearview mirror at Gus and Justin, sitting together in the back seat of the Jeep, quietly conversing.  I'm amazed at how easily they get along.  Justin must be approaching 50 words being spoken at this point.  Seeing him smiling, relaxed and almost happy makes me feel content.  I catch Lindsey using the vanity mirror on the flip side of the passenger sun visor to do the same and we share a secret smile watching 'our boys'.  

When we pull up to the Diner, I have a sudden inspiration, and quickly kneel down next to Gus so I can whisper my request into his ear.

"Sonny Boy, I need you to do me a favor," I whisper. "You know how Justin is a little shy, right?  Well, I don't want your Gramma Deb or the guys to frighten him by being all noisy or trying to hug him and all talk to him at once. You know what I mean?"

Gus nods his head vigorously - even though he's not quite four yet, he's more than aware of how loud and boisterous the family can be.  

"So, Gus, do you think you can run into the Diner, quick-like, before I bring Justin in and ask Gramma Deb and the others to tone it down a bit until Justin's a little more used to everybody?"

"Sure, Dad.  I can do that." Gus asserts, proud of his special mission. "Jus'n, you wait here with Dad for a minute.  I gotta go do something. But I'll be right back, okay."

Gus promptly marches away towards the Diner's front door, Lindsey looking at me questioningly as she follows in his wake.  I chuckle quietly at the sight, congratulating myself on my brilliance.  If I'd gone in there and tried to tell Deb or Em to back off until the kid had acclimatized, they would have scoffed at me, thinking I was being condescending or judgmental.  But if Gus asks them the same thing, they'll just think he's being adorable and they'll 'play along' to humor the boy.  

I pull Justin over to me where I'm leaning against the side of the Jeep. I wrap my arm around his shoulders, not thinking about the surge of affection that's come over me, but just wanting to feel him close. His pliant, smaller body easily fits itself into my side and we stand together like that, comfortably, waiting for Gus to return.

"Okay, Jus'n, you can come in now," Gus directs us.  "I told Gramma Deb about how I gave you my donut, and she said that Daddy was right and I def'nly should get a special reward. She's making me a banana root beer float, she said. I never had a floating banana before but she said I'd like it, so I guess I'll try it. Do you want one too, Jus'n? Daddy, can Jus'n have a floating banana beer, too?"

"Of course, Sonny Boy.  Both you and Justin can have whatever you want, as long as it's okay with your moms." I smile at my boy indulgently, watching as he grabs Justin's hand and tows him into the restaurant.  

Gus has done a really good job at preparing the rest of the family too. As we enter and head to the back booth nobody has jumped up to greet us or anything.  The most we're subjected to are a few nods and waves.  And, we make it all the way to the booth and are seated before Deb even approaches.  

"Brian. Sunshine.  How are you boys doing this morning?" Deb asks, pulling out her order pad, fishing a pen out of her wig and cracking her gum as she nears our booth. "You look a lot better than you did the other day, Sunshine. So what can I get you this morning? Gus said you were interested in second breakfast?"

I'm not ready to deal with the whole range of Justin's food issues again this morning so I proceed to take control of the breakfast ordering. I tell Deb to bring him a short stack of pancakes, a side of bacon and another of fruit, some orange juice and a coffee. I figure I'll just tell him to eat what I get him for now instead of dealing with all the problems that seem to arise when he's asked what he wants. The worst thing that can happen is that he'll be too full.  

I order myself an egg white omelette and wait while Lindz and Gus order more for themselves. Maybe if Justin sees that there's plenty of food available, he'll get over his insecurities. Since he doesn't object to what I've ordered, and he's not doing that lip biting thing, it must be okay.  

Once Deb's done taking our order and moves away, Emmett and Ted come over to say hello. I'm impressed at Em's restraint - he doesn't run up and hug anyone, calling them 'Sweetie' or 'Baby'. He simply says hi, asks how Justin is feeling and says how much better he looks. Like I said, incredibly restrained. Ted, being the through and through accountant that he is, never has problems with restraint. After they've each said their piece, they return to their seats at the counter.

Wow, I'm utterly amazed at how well behaved the family is being and I give Gus a thumbs up sign to let him know he did a great job. Gus grins and gives me a return thumbs up. He's such an amazing kid - I really never thought I'd enjoy being a Dad, but then again I never knew there were kids like Gus.  

I catch Justin looking at Gus and at me. His expression is hard to read. His eyebrows are drawn together and his forehead wrinkled. The corners of his mouth turned down slightly as if in disbelief or disapproval? With my right hand I reach up to stroke away that little frown and then I rest my hand back on his thigh, squeezing once in reassurance. The frown goes, but the worry lines on his forehead never disappear completely. I wish I could make them go too.

"Daddy, I gotta use the potty," Gus interrupts my moment of lesbionic contemplation, thank goodness.

"Okay, Sonny Boy. Let's go then," I say, smiling at the little boy, then I lean over and leave a light kiss on Justin's temple. "Be right back, Sunshine."

I do realize as I get up to follow Gus, just how silly and sentimental that little gesture is, but I refuse to give the staring Debbie and Emmett the satisfaction of looking at all ashamed.

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Justin's POV

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Brian's lips touched my face. He kissed me. In front of all these people - his friends and family - he kissed me.

Brian had kissed me and, after he left, even though it felt so juvenile, I couldn't help it - I smiled - a big silly, goofy grin. It was like, with that one little kiss He'd told everyone around us that I was His. I'd never felt like this before - I couldn't even name the emotions that small gesture brought out in me, but if I had to guess, I'd say maybe I was feeling happy.

I vaguely recall that Brian might have kissed me briefly both back at the hospital and during the night at His loft when he was trying to wake me from my nightmares. But this is different. This was public, this was possessive, this was . . . painful, almost.  

I don't recall anyone ever kissing me before. Not my mother. Definitely not my father. Not even a friend - not that I'd ever really had a friend after my father forbid me to see Daphne. There had never really been anyone in my life who would want to kiss me, other than the occasional John - but I never let a John kiss me - it was one of my rules.  

Having Brian kiss me now suddenly made the rest of my life feel so . . . bleak. I'd never really contemplated it that way before, but then again, before now I'd never really had much to compare it with. But after watching Brian with Gus and his friends, and remembering all the little touches and smiles Brian had given me, I was starting to realize that maybe there should have been more?

I wish that I hadn't started thinking about that now. Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore. I look down at my plate and see there is still food left, but I no longer think I can eat. Would Brian be angry though if I wasted all this food? What am I going to do? I want Brian to like me - I want him to kiss me like that again - but now he'll be angry at me for wasting food. The more I try to figure out a solution, the more upset I get and the less I feel like eating.

I'm still sitting there worrying and losing that almost happy feeling when Gus comes running back out from the toilet. He starts to climb onto the bench across from me, but when he looks in my direction, he stops, comes around to my side of the booth, crawls over to me and puts his small, soft, warm arms around my neck. He squeezes once, as hard as his little arms can do it.  

"It's okay Jus'n. You don't have to eat any more if you don't want to. Sometimes I can't eat all my food either," Gus whispers to me, but I'm still unsure, and I glance towards the doorway where Brian has just appeared. "Daddy never gets mad at me when I don't finish. Sometimes he even let's me put it into a box and take it home to eat later. Just ask him Jus'n. He won’t be mad, really."

"Problems, Sunshine?" Brian asks as he nears the booth and sees Gus talking to me.  

"Daddy, Jus'n can't eat anymore. Is it okay if he takes the rest home for later?" Gus asks on my behalf.

"If you don't want any more, you don't have to eat it, Justin. I wouldn't bother taking it home though. Pancakes don't keep well, you know. Just leave it," Brian answers, picking Gus up so he can slide back into the booth next to me.  

Brian is smiling at me and he rests his arm around my shoulders. I love how he is constantly touching me. I like his warm, strong hands. I remember that he kissed me and I feel better again. I think maybe it's okay if I don't eat any more.

"Are you feeling okay, Sunshine?" Brian is looking at me with concerned eyes. "You're probably getting tired. We better get you home for a nap. Lindz, you and Gus okay from here? I think I need to get Justin back home."

"Sure, Bri. I'll call Mel to pick us up," Lindsey says. "You take care, Justin. Get lots of rest so you can get better. Hey, Bri, if Justin's feeling up to it, why don't the two of you come over to the house for dinner tomorrow night? I think Gus would love to spend some more time with his new friend."

"Yes! Please, Jus'n! Please, Daddy? Please." Gus pleads.

"Sounds good to me, Gus." Brian gives in easily. "As long as Justin is feeling well enough. But right now, I think Justin needs to get home and get some rest. Come on, Sunshine. Give me a hug goodbye, Sonny Boy."

As Brian heads towards the cash register to pay for our breakfast, I overhear Emmett and his friend talking quietly. "That's something I never thought I'd see - Brian Kinney, acting all domesticated? Can you believe it?" Emmett comments.

"I give it a week, tops," Ted replies. "Then Brian will be back to usual, fucking every guy that moves."

"I don't know, Teddy. I've never seen Brian acting like that - being all protective and all. It’s so sweet."

"Oh, come on Em," Ted disagreed. "You gotta admit the kid is hot. With that cute little bubble butt and those gorgeous big baby blues? I'm sure Brian's just enjoying having his own personal in-home hustler for the time being. I'm not saying Brian's not doing a good thing taking care of the kid, and all, but I just don't see this lasting. Once the kid is feeling better, Brian's going to eventually get bored and he'll be back to the 'Fuck-em-all' Brian Kinney we all know and feel ambivalent about."

"You're probably right, Teddy. But, still, I've never seen Brian acting like this . . ." Emmett replied, turning as he said it to look around in my direction, and belatedly realizing that I'd been standing right behind them this whole time.

"Justin, baby, I didn't know you were there. You know we didn't . . ." Emmett started to explain but was interrupted by Brian returning to see what had held me up.

"Ready, Sunshine?" Brian says, taking my hand in His larger one. "Oh, hey guys. We gotta get going. But that reminds me, Honeycutt, if you're not busy this afternoon, I'd like to employ your personal shopper skills."

"Don't call me Honeycutt, Bri. But I'm not busy and you know how I love to shop, so I'm yours for hire if you need me. I can come by the loft later, if you want, and you can give me my marching orders."

"Sounds great, Honeycutt. Come by around 2:00. Talk to you later, Theodore." Brian responds then guides me towards the exit.

Brian seems to be in a good mood as we get in the Jeep and drive back towards His loft. He keeps looking over at me and smiling. I'm not sure why. I'm beginning to wonder.  

"So, you'll talk to Gus, but not to me, huh. Sunshine? What's with that," Brian teases.

"Gus is a sweet kid," I smile, remembering some of the funny things he'd said to me this morning.

"Yeah. He's really great," Brian is obviously pleased by my praise of his son.

I have so many thoughts rolling around in my head at this point that I'm quiet for a long time. Brian seems amused by something - I hear Him chucking and look over to see Him smiling at me.

"I think I'm starting to figure you out, Sunshine. When you get quiet, staring off into space and chewing at your lip like that, it means you're worrying about something. Tell me, what's eating at you now?" Brian prods me.

Which of the whirling questions in my head should I start with, I wonder?

"What?" Brian keeps on at me. "Come on, Justin. What is it?"

"Gus . . . Umm . . . You and Lindsey?"

"Ohhh. No no no - there's no 'Me and Lindsey'. I'm 100% fag, Sunshine," Brian says, laughing aloud.

"But, Gus?"

"Lindz and I have been friends since college," Brian explains. "When she and her partner, Melanie, decided a few years ago that they wanted a kid, I agreed to help out with a little sperm donation. That's all. They are Gus' primary parents. I just put in the occasional unscheduled cameo appearance."

That explained a lot. Both about the relationship between Him and Lindsey and a little about what Ted and Emmett had said. It did raise even more questions about other stuff, though. I would have asked a few more questions if we weren't already at the loft by this point. I was sort of out of time, I guess.

"If you're tired, you're welcome to go back to bed. Or you can watch television or a movie," Brian directs when we get inside, pointing me toward the big screen TV in the far corner as He heads toward the desk. "Make yourself at home, Sunshine. I'm going to check my email and make sure there's nothing critical at work."

I sit on the couch but I don't turn on the television. I'm still mulling over what I heard at the Diner. What Ted and Em were saying makes sense to me. Especially now that I'm clear in my head about Brian and Lindsey.

I admit that I'd been a bit thrown by meeting Lindz and Gus this morning. The thought that Brian was straight or bi or whatever had confused me. I had begun to think that Brian had brought me here to his home for some reason other than the obvious. I know now that was silly of me, but He had been giving me some really mixed signals, you know. I mean, the kiss earlier and telling me last night that he just wanted to help me get better. But once I knew for sure He was gay, the stuff Ted was saying made more sense.  

I'm clear again in my mind why I'm here. Brian was truly being very nice to me. But I'm feeling much better and I guess that means I'm running out of time. I'd better start making myself useful. It was the least I could do after all He'd done for me.  

Time to get to work, I decide.

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Brian's POV

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I'm sitting at my computer, answering emails and doing some research on the Internet, when I look up and see Justin standing in front of me stripped down to his briefs.

He's doing that thing where he won't look at me directly and he's biting his lip again. He's so thin I can see each and every bone in his body. But he has a wiry strength to him at the same time. His beautiful pale skin is flushed with a tinge of red, as if he's excited or embarrassed about something. I wasn't prepared for this vision, and I'm having trouble controlling my reaction to the tempting sight in front of me.  

"Justin? Umm. What's wrong?" I manage to ask, shifting in my chair to relieve the suddenly uncomfortable tightness in my pants.

"Do you want to fuck me now?" Justin offers, matter-of-factly.

I was definitely not expecting that. And here I thought I was starting to understand him a little. Nope. I'm completely lost again.