Chapter 28 - Alterations.

Alterations:  The process or result of making or becoming different: A change, modification or adjustment in one’s state of being.

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Brian's POV

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After two nights of pretty much nonstop fucking, am I allowed to admit that he's worn me out without losing face? I lost track of how many times we did it sometime after we hit double digits. And even though we mixed it up a bit with blow jobs and a hand job or two, I don't know how Justin will be able to walk today, let alone sit at a desk all day. Voracious doesn't even start to describe that boy's sexual appetite now that he's got it back. 

He still hasn't told me what brought about the big change. I'm not complaining, but I am curious. I'm also concerned that whatever it is might come back to haunt us both if we don't talk it out. But, talking hasn't really been big on the agenda lately. I think though that I'm going to have to maybe set some limitations for him - otherwise, at this rate, my dick will be worn to a nub by the end of the week. And maybe we can use some of that down time to talk.

In the meantime, I have to somehow wake up enough to get through this budget meeting with my executive staff, handle a conference call with a major client and then meet with my Art Director about staffing issues - all before lunch. Really, Justin's going to simply have to let me get SOME sleep tonight. Caffeine alone is just no longer enough.

Somehow, I make it through to lunchtime. Justin doesn't know it yet, but we have big lunch plans today. I wish I didn't look quite so much like a zombie, but it's too late to worry about that. So I call Justin up from the art department and bundle him into the car for a drive out to Carnegie Mellon University.

"Justin, I know you're not big on surprises, so this is me giving you a heads up," I say while we're driving. "When Ted was getting the info from your school that we're using to get you new ID, he also got some information on an old friend of yours. We've emailed back and forth the past few days and I thought you might want to meet again. I hope this is okay."

Justin is looking at me like this is definitely NOT okay. I haven't even told him who it is yet and he's already panicking. Well, I'm glad I decided not to go the surprise route here. He doesn't look angry, though, so maybe it won't be too bad.

Strangely, Justin doesn't ask who we're going to see. He just sits in the passenger seat of the Vette, silently staring out the window the whole way. The only indication I have that he's really upset is the way he's biting at his lip. I wish I could make this easier for him, but when even things I think will be good are this hard for him to deal with, I don't see how. 

I park and lead Justin to the little sandwich place near campus where we agreed to meet. He's following without any kind of protest, but without any enthusiasm either. Fuck. You'd think from his expression I was taking him to meet Hitler or someone equally vile. I hope I'm doing the right thing.

She recognizes Justin before he even sees her, and stands up to get our attention - which is good for me because I didn't know what she looks like. I've already tried, to the extent I could without violating his privacy, to give her a little prior warning about Justin's likelihood of getting a bit freaked out meeting her, and thankfully she paid attention. Instead of jumping up, running towards Justin and greeting him effusively, the pretty young brunette simply stands there with a friendly smile on her face.

"Justin. God, it's so great to see you," she says when we reach the table where she'd been sitting. "I was so worried when your mother contacted me a couple months ago and told me you were missing. I'm really glad you're alright."

"Daphne?" Justin says, his shock and disbelief evident from his tone and bewildered expression. 

"Hi, Daphne. I'm Brian - the one who emailed," I interject in an attempt to give Justin a few more moments to adjust while I shake hands with Daphne. "Thank you for meeting with us."

"Not a problem. I'm grateful you contacted me to let me know Justin's okay," Daphne says as she sits back down. "So, Jus? How are you? I'm so excited to see you. I've missed you."

Justin doesn't say anything right away and I'm starting to regret setting this meeting up - I didn't think it would be this traumatic for him. Then, without actually looking at Daphne, Justin starts to speak.

"A tuna fish sandwich, a People magazine and a case of nails,"Justin says cryptically.

Daphne laughs boisterously, and I start to think maybe it's just me that understands nothing here.

"Okay, I get the case of nails, maybe even the magazine. But, why would you bring a tuna sandwich to a deserted island where there's no refrigeration?" Daphne asks.

"Well, because I like tuna sandwiches, and I know I'd be hungry right after the ship wreck, so I might as well have lunch with me to keep my strength up until we found edible fruit or caught some fish or something," Justin explains, sort of.

"I think I just missed something?" I complain.

"It's just this ongoing debate we had - what three things would you take with you if you were Gilligan and knew you were going to be stranded on a deserted island," Daphne explains. "We sort of had this running conversation about it and one or the other of us would always be coming up with new ideas. Only, Justin's ideas were always a little impractical."

"Well I might have been impractical but your ideas were always just too mundane and predictable," Justin says with a smile back on his no longer nervous face, and I know it's going to be okay.

"Why don't I go get lunch and you two can continue this fascinating topic of conversation," I suggest and I leave them to their reunion. 

When I come back to the table with our drinks, I hear the tail end of a new topic, though. "So? You and Brian?" I hear Daphne's voice asking.

"Mmm Hmm." Justin nods eagerly.

"Wow. He's to die for! You totally lucked out, Jus!"

"You don't even know the half of it, Daph," Justin responds but doesn't get any further due to my arrival on the scene.

"Don't mind me," I say as they both clam up upon my return. "Feel free to keep talking about how gorgeous I am. I don't mind in the least."

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Justin's POV

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Daphne! Brian found Daphne for me! It's incredible. And it felt like there hadn't really been any time at all between now and the last time we talked, even though it's been years. I'd missed her so much. And now I have her back. Thanks to Brian.

Brian kind of hovered all during lunch, but didn't talk much. Okay, maybe Daph and I didn't give him much chance to talk. But he was still there for me the whole time - holding my hand under the table or touching my arm or just sitting there. He's so . . . 'great' just doesn't cover it, does it? I'm going back to 'Kinneyent'.

Daph is in the Pre Med program at Carnegie Mellon. I'm not surprised though - she always was brilliant and said she wanted to be a doctor even back when we were in elementary school. She's really busy, but we still made plans to get together this weekend for pizza and movies at the loft. I can't wait to hang out with her again. 

And the best part of seeing Daphne is that she didn't ask any awkward questions like, 'where have you been for the past five years?' I didn't have to explain to her about my father or being on the street or any of it. All the things I was afraid to tell anyone - stuff I knew would drive people away in disgust or cause them to pity me - none of that even came up. I didn't have to worry about the fact that she wouldn't like the person I've become, because she didn't care at all. She was just happy to see me. I think maybe I can have a friend again.

And, once again, it's all because of Brian. 

As we're getting out of the car back at Kinnetik, I walk up to him and kiss him hard and long. I think he wasn't expecting it because he doesn't kiss back for at least a few seconds. When he does, he's . . . Well I guess you'd call it reluctant. Brian Kinney may not be the least bit ashamed of his sexuality, but I've noticed that he's not very demonstrative at work. It makes sense - he's the boss and he doesn't want his employees talking about him in that fashion. Plus, I think he's trying to protect me, in a way, from more incidents like with Toby.

"What was that for, Sunshine," Brian asks when I finally let him go.

"It's for making me feel like I'm almost real again. Thank you, Brian," I say, trying to put into words something that didn't even come easily in my thoughts. "You've done so much for me. I don't know how to tell you what it means to me, but . . . well, just, thank you."

"You're welcome, Sunshine. But, you've always been real to me. I'm just glad you're finally starting to believe it too."

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Brian's POV

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I'm glad that everything with Justin and Daphne went so well. By the time lunch was over they were  babbling at each other like two old friends should. And I know how much it meant to Justin to get his friend back. What more it's going to take to convince him he's all the way real, though, I don't know. But I'm going to keep trying.

Now that I've done my good deed for the day, however, it's time to indulge my more evil and vindictive side. Craig Taylor is not going to get away with what he's done. I'm going to make sure of it and hopefully take care of Justin at the same time. So, after I send Justin off, back to the art department, I head into my office and call in my minions. 

"Hey, Cynthia. Get 'Dewey Cheatem' on the phone for me and send in Theodore, then join us with your notary journal," I direct as I pass my assistant's desk.

"Doug Chatham, your attorney, is already holding for you on line three, Brian, and you know he hates it when you call him that," Cynthia replies with her typical efficiency.

"Why else would I keep doing it if it didn't get him pissed off. That's why it's fun," I answer, punching the correct phone line as I recline at my desk. "Talk to me, Cheatem'. Tell me we can do this."

"Of course you CAN do this, Mr. Kinney. But as I told you yesterday I really don't advise it. There are significant risks . . . "

"I know the risks, but I'm willing to take those risks if it gets us Taylor. Theodore, were you able to get those financials for me?"

"I got em, Bri," Ted gloats. "Just don't ask how - my buddy over at Workschafter's will deny everything if we get caught, which means this is all on us. But, the good news is that you were right. Taylor has been very greedy. He's in debt up to his eyebrows. So far he's been doing okay, but he's so highly leveraged that one little snafu would probably send him off the deep end. Here, I've highlighted the important stuff for you."

"Excellent, Theodore. Did anyone ever tell you that you make a great evil minion?" I compliment my able accountant. "All right, boys and girls. Let's do this. Give me the paperwork and show me where to sign. Cynthia, you can make the appropriate evil laughter noises in the background while you notarize everything. This should be fun."

Once we get all that paperwork completed, I dismiss Ted, say bye-bye to my legal-eagle, and ask Justin to come back in. The boy is again covered in paint - I really have to take the time to see what he and Jessica are up to on that VooDoo Doughnuts campaign and why it entails so much paint - but he's in a very good mood. Being covered in paint seems to do that for him and it makes me glad too. 

"Hey, Sunshine," I start when he's seated next to Cynthia on the couch. "We've got some papers for you to sign. Now, don't start that worried, lip biting thing on me. This is all good stuff - easy stuff - so no worries. Okay?"

He shrugs noncommittally making me shake my head at how difficult every little thing is for him. No matter how much progress he seems to be making, there's still a ways to go. I hope we'll get there. 

"First, as an employee you are now covered by the company's health insurance plan. I think Ted's got all that paperwork for you down in his office. But, just as important, I wanted you to have a valid Power of Attorney on file," I show him the document as I speak. 

"See, if you got hurt or sick again, your parents, as next of kin, would have the right to make medical decisions for you if you couldn't make them yourself for some reason. Now that you're going to have proper ID and all, it's a lot more likely that a hospital would be able to locate your parents in that circumstance. Regardless of whether or not you decide to meet with your mother, I don't think you would want her, let alone Craig, making decisions about your care. I know, I don't."

"My father? He could find me?" Justin is ready to bolt - half standing and looking around as if Craig were hiding nearby.

Shit. Justin apparently didn't hear anything I said other than that Craig might be able to find him. I didn't mean to scare him like this. I instantly move over to the couch and sit next to him, holding him tightly. I can feel him shaking. 

"Justin, stop. It's okay. Craig isn't here. He can't get to you here. Shhh, it's okay. I didn't mean to scare you, Sunshine," I whisper, at the same time waving at Cynthia to leave us for a few moments.

"Listen to me, Justin. Are you listening," I demand his attention.

"Yes. I'm listening," he finally says.

"You can stop him, Justin. With that paper. That's all it takes," I reassure him, feeling the trembling abate slightly. "If you sign that Power of Attorney, appointing someone else to make the decisions, then you take away any rights Craig might have regarding you. That's why I want you to do this as soon as possible, Sunshine. I want you to be protected. I don't want you to have to be scared. Do you understand?"

"I can stop him? Keep him away from me?" 

"Yes. You just have to choose someone else to be in charge of decisions like your health care, you fill in that person's name on these documents and sign them. Okay? That's all it takes."

"Who? Who do I choose?"

"Whoever you want, Justin. Just make it anyone other than Craig."

"I don't have anyone."

"You have me, Justin. You always have me," I say with a kiss on his forehead to emphasize my point. "You don't have to pick me, though. I don't want you to feel obligated in any way. You could ask someone else or even put in there that you want a court to appoint someone. It's completely your decision. And whatever you choose will be right for you."

"You would do that? You'd take care of me again if I was sick?"

"Of course I would. After all, you weren't that bad of a patient the first time around," I tease, happily getting a tiny half-smile out of him. "I'd be happy to do this. But only if you're sure that's what you want, Justin. I don't want you to ever again feel like anyone's taking away your rights to make your own decisions. Not even me."

"I want it to be you, Brian," he says quietly but with conviction. "You're the only person who's ever helped me - the only one I . . . I trust. I want you, Brian."

"Well, then, you've got me. Let's get Cynthia back in here and get this done, okay?"

"Okay."

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Justin's POV

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Brian scared the shit out of me with that Power of Attorney thing. Here I am, just starting to feel like I'm not going to disappear again, like maybe I have a place to belong, here with Brian, and then he tells me that my father could still find me and take control of me if I got sick again? I'd rather be back on the street, invisible again, than have him anywhere near me. 

But when I calm down enough to listen to him, Brian reassures me that that's the whole reason for the Power of Attorney - to stop my father from being able to hurt me again. And, even better, Brian says he'll be the one to take care of me. I can't believe he went to all this trouble to get his lawyer to make up this paper just to protect me. I DO trust him - more than anyone else I've ever known. So we fill in Brian's name and I sign and Cynthia stamps it with her notary stamp. Brian says its official now and he'll file it . . . somewhere. 

I just hope I don't get hurt or sick again. If that paper doesn't work . . If he ever . . . I'll never go back with my father, ever. I won't. I don't want to have to test it to be sure it works.

After work, Brian says he's tired and just wants to order in tonight and take it easy. I'm okay with that - he can take it easy with me, or hard, or any way he wants. He says that wasn't exactly what he meant, but he doesn't seem to mind fucking me in the shower either. However, I think maybe even Brian may need a night off once in a while, so I agree to snuggle with him on the couch while he watches one of those old movies he likes. 

Since he knows that I'd rather be riding him than watching some old guy ride a dusty old horse, Brian also gives me something else to distract me, which I have to admit does the job. Brian sets up an email account for me and shows me how to email and text from my new phone. My first text is to Daphne, who sends a message right back. We chat that way all night until Brian is finally ready to head to bed. 

'L8R. 6Y BOYF ready 2 F me! SETE! ;D Jus'. I send my last text then close up my phone and jog into the bedroom after Brian.

"So what in the world do you and Daphne have to talk about that you could spend the whole night texting over?" Brian asks as I shuck off my clothes and crawl under the covers with him.

"Mostly we just texted about you. I was telling her what a huge cock you have and what I like you to do to me with it," I tease him, kissing him on the shoulder and then up along his collar bone, heading towards his sweet raspberry red lips.

"Oh. Well, that's okay. As long as you weren't being inappropriate or disclosing any really private stuff about us," Brian teases back. 

"I didn't really thank you for finding Daphne for me, Brian. You do so much for me. You found my long lost friend. You gave me this phone with all the amazing things it does. You even got your lawyer to make up those papers for me to try to protect me. I want to show you how much all of that means to me, Brian. Tell me, how can I thank you for all that. Hmmm?"

By this point I've crawled up him and I'm sitting astride his legs, leaning down to punctuate my words with little kisses all over his chest and neck and jawline. I love the salty sweet taste of him. I really could probably do this all day, if I didn't have to get out of bed. But I notice Brian looking at me with this odd look on his face. It's as if I am some strange puzzle he's trying to solve. 

"Justin, I'm curious," Brian starts off cautiously. "Aren't you even the littlest bit sore after the past three days? We've fucked, I lost count how many times, and I have to admit my dick is pretty fucking sore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining at all, Sunshine. But I figure if I'm this sore and tired, your hot little ass has to be pretty raw too. Don't you need, maybe, a bit of a break?"

"Well, yeah, I'm a little sore, too, I guess. But, you've been so great to me, I just want you to know how grateful I am. So, if you want to fuck some more, I'm okay," I tell him.

"Justin. I've told you already. You don't owe me anything - especially not sex. I don't expect you to put out just to show your appreciation. I do expect you to say 'no' if you're sore or even if you're just plain not in the mood," he tells me, his tone sincere. "You are not just some sex toy. You do get a say in when YOU want to have sex, you know."

"There are other ways you can show me if you're grateful - it doesn't always have to involve sex, you know," Brian continues. "Fuck - did I just say that? The point is, Justin, I don't want you to think that just because you're living here, you have to have sex with me all the time merely to prove how appreciative you are. Okay? Just give yourself a break. We can fuck if you really want to, but it's okay if you don't, too."

So what am I supposed to read into that little speech? I feel a bit rejected. I was just trying to show him how much he means to me and he acts like he doesn't want me? But I get that he's being sincere; I can hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. It just doesn't make sense, though. He can't really mean it that he wouldn't care if I said 'no' to him. Why would I ever tell him 'no'?

I flop back onto my back on the bed in frustration. I really don't understand. Will I ever get this right?

"Justin," Brian props himself up on his elbow to look down at me. "Tell me this - is your ass sore?"

"Yeah," I answer with a shrug.

"But you still really want to have sex? I mean, you really just want to fuck for the joy of it, not just to show me you're grateful for getting you a fucking iPhone?"

That requires a little more thought. I've never really had to analyze my motives like this before. Do I want Brian to fuck me just for the fuck or for some other reason? Hmmm?

"I don't know . . . I do enjoy when you fuck me, Brian. A lot. But I think I mostly just like being with you and I want to always feel like that. So, I guess . . . I really do just want the fuck?"

Brian takes a minute to think that over. He's scrutinizing my face, his eyes boring into mine like he's trying to read the fucking 'Rosetta Stone'. Finally he shrugs, reaches to the night stand and grabs the lube and a condom, and then tosses them to me with a shrug as he rolls over to his stomach.

"Well, then, have at it. But let's give your sore ass and my sore dick a break, okay? You'll have to drive for a change, Sunshine," Brian says into the scrunched up pillow under his chin. "Just go slow, okay. I . . . I haven't done this in a while."

Fuck! He's not really saying what I think he's saying, is he? But he must be serious - he's shoving a second pillow under his hips and spreading his legs apart. Getting himself ready for me. For ME!

"Brian," I swallow to clear the lump of almost panic that's risen in my throat, "I've never . . . I don't know how."

"Bullshit. I know you've never - but it's not like you don't know what to do, Sunshine. Just do what feels good. Take it slow. I'll let you know if there's anything I need," Brian directs, tempting me by raising his ass a little higher and winking at me over his shoulder. Then he adds, in true AdMan style, "this offer ends soon, so don't miss out on your chance to be one of the elite few who can say they've topped Brian Kinney."

He picks up the tube of lubricant which I'd dropped on the bed, and deliberately places it in my hand. "Use lots," he adds, then turns back to contemplating his pillow.

I can't say the idea isn't stimulating. Seeing Brian lying there displayed for me is almost too much. My dick has never been this hard in my entire fucking life. Can I really do this? I soooo want to do this. I just want to be sure I do it right. 

I start off by just reaching out my hand to touch what I see. I lightly trail my fingers down his toned back, feeling his muscles ripple at my touch. His smooth buttocks are next and I get a tiny thrill when he clenches his muscles at my mere touch. As I move over to kneel between his legs, spread wide in welcome, I feel my dick leaking in avid anticipation. 

What the fuck!

First thing, I know I want to taste him. He'd done that to me the first night in the hotel, which had surprised me. I never rimmed with clients back when I was on the street. Frankly, me eating any of their asses - the idea disgusted me, especially considering what a lot of my clients had been like. Plus, having them rim me put me in too vulnerable a position - not safe in that particular profession. But with Brian, things were different. I wanted this with him. 

So I gently pulled apart his cheeks and dipped down for a tentative first taste. I slid my tongue down his crack and let it brush over his remarkably tiny pucker. He flinched a bit when he felt the wetness and then shivered when my breath blew across the places where my tongue had been. Trying to emulate what he'd done to me the other night, I licked and nibbled lightly over the tightly folded skin, feeling Brian slowly relax. 

Then I finally felt brave enough to dart my tongue into him and was temporarily amazed at the strength of those constricting muscles. I waited again until another wave of relaxation came and Brian started to open to me. I kept licking and sucking at the rim, while my tongue entered deeply into that warm, welcoming entrance. Brian tried at first to keep himself still, but it wasn't long till his hips began to buck at the pleasure.

I knew that was my signal to move on. So, I carefully slid the condom on my stiff, eager dick and moved up to position myself better. I squirted a generous amount of lube onto my fingers and closed my eyes for greater concentration as I slipped first one and then two fingers into Brian's seldom-exercised hole, working to make him as ready as I could. Conscious of Brian's earlier admonition, I added more lube two or three times as I fingered him - just to be sure, you know.

"I think that's good enough for now, Justin," Brian comments as I start to pick up the lube once more. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Come on, Sunshine. Fuck me, already."

"Here goes," I sigh.

Using my hand to line things up, I slowly start to slide into Brian's tight, warm opening. It feels exquisite. He's warm and tight and wet with lube and I slide in slowly and so easily. He takes only a brief second to adjust and then taps me on the hip to tell me to continue. I grab onto his hips - to guide myself or merely to hold on, I'm not sure which - pull out slightly, and push back in one more time, feeling the electric jolts of pleasure ripple along my cock. Then some ancient primal instinct takes over and I'm no longer having to think about what I'm doing. I'm just doing. And it's amazing how wonderful this feels. Shit. This truly is what it's all about and I'd had no idea up till now. 

I'm happily, mindlessly, ramming away when Brian shifts his weight a fraction and I can all of a sudden tell that he's now getting much more out of this as well. I make myself a mental note about that angle for future reference and then plow on, trying my best to hit Brian's prostate as I go. When I feel the build up of electric current tingling through my balls, and realize I'm getting close, I reach under Brian's body to fist his cock. 

"Brian, I'm ready. I'm going to cum. Ohhhhh, Brian. Cum with me, Brian. Cum. Now. Aaaahhhhh!"

Brian shoots into my hand seconds after I cum and the both of us crumple together in a heap on the pile of pillows and rumpled blankets. I want to just lie here forever without moving. I'm not even sure I can move; it's possible that all my bones have melted. Plus, moving would mean separating from Brian and I don't want to ever do that. If we could stay connected like this forever, it would suit me perfectly. 

So I just lie there like an exhausted jellyfish until I feel Brian trembling under me. I'm concerned something is wrong; why is Brian shaking? Is he hurt? Did I do something wrong? I immediately pull out and rush to roll Brian over to find out what's the matter. 

But Brian isn't hurt - the jerk - he's laughing.

"What the fuck, Brian? I know I'm probably not the world's biggest expert at this yet, but you don't have to laugh at me." I'm angry now, the bliss of a moment ago almost completely gone.

"No, Sunshine," Brian hurries to explain, wiping a tear of mirth from his eye. "I'm not laughing at you. Fuck, no. I was laughing at myself for being such a ridiculous ass for so long. See, I've been such a fucking uber-top for so long, I kind of forgot how amazing it feels to bottom. That was fucking fantastic, Justin, and I was just laughing at myself for fighting it for so long. You were great, Justin. Really. Sorry for freaking you out."

Brian rolls over to wrap himself around me and pulls the blankets over us both. He's still all wet and sticky but neither of us seems to care. 

He kisses my ear and whispers, "Thank you, Sunshine." 

And then we both fall asleep. Brian's arms surround me all night. The connection is still there and I hope it will stay forever.