CHAPTER 18 – BATTLE OF THE MOTHERS…BIRTH & WORK
SHADYSIDE – FRIDAY MORNING
MICHAEL
I have been looking through the appeals process for the taxes and it’s all very confusing, time consuming and boring. And I’ve been thinking about what ma said about not giving me the money to help, I’m sure she was just saying that to appease Carl for now, but will help me anyway, she’s my mother after all and as her son I should come first as with all children.
Lindz didn’t call me back like she said she would and neither has Mel. I need to speak to them about the support payments, they are going to need to go to Ben for it until this has been sorted out. I’m going to go to the diner in a little while to try and catch ma so I can speak to her without Carl’s influence or interference.
KINNETIC
BRIAN
We’ve not been able to speak to Mel alone for the last couple of days, she’s got a massive case on and when she’s home Lindz is playing the doting wife and mother.
Faal and Zee have been out of state on business and won’t be back until late this evening. They’ve landed a new client and are running diagnostics or whatever it is that they do.
Hunter wanted to take advantage of their absence and escape to the Treehouse, as he complained Lindz has been giving him the stink eye all the time. Matt said she was not going to stare him out of the house so stick it out, and when I said it was just jealousy he said that’s what Lydia said.
Justin has decided on a new abstract genre for his art…yes Lilah and Milo are being placed on canvas, not sure how he’s going to do it, they have beautiful eyes so I think he’s going to concentrate on that. Thank God nobody heard me say that out loud about their eyes!
Joshua has been out on vacation and won’t be back until next week and the delay is frustrating.
I’ve got a $30 million contract waiting in my conference room…time to be brilliant.
CARNEGIE MELLON
BEN
I can’t shake this feeling in my gut that something bad is going to happen. I’m most likely being ridiculous but I just can’t shake it.
TREEHOUSE
FAAL
“Thank fuck you’re a genius or we would’ve been there all day!” She giggles.
I drop our bags on the counter but at her albeit tired glare I put them on the floor, her and her precious counter tops!
“I thought you were going to show him exactly how good a crack shot you were at one point.”
I pull her into my arms and kiss her softly.
“I was tempted believe me, when he did eventually speak to me he kept talking to my tits. Why Jeremy likes these A-list gigs, I don’t know! They believe their own hype, act like they are the be-all-and-end-all of the goddamn fucking…”
“Remind me why we’re doing this again?” I have to stop her from going into a full on bitchfest.
“Because you would go out of your mind with boredom if you didn’t. But it’s done now. Thank fuck. Now, I need to call Emmy Lou our messy fest is next week and we need to test the recipes. Think the family will want to be guinea pigs?”
I snort and then chuckle.
“What do you think?”
She tightens her hold and nods.
“And I also think a nice hot shower is called for then an early night.”
“I concur.”
KINNETIC
BRIAN
Ted, Cynthia and I are standing in my office, just staring at each other.
“Well…”
Cyn mutters heading to the cart, she waves the decanter and even Ted nods yes.
“Suppose we should give the staff the week off again? Uh Ted…”
Luckily he comes out of his stupor when the smell of beam hits his nose.
“Okay, there’s brilliant, there’s excellent, there’s godlike and then there’s you…only you could go in for a $30 million contract and for the 2nd time come out with over double in under an hour.”
Ted sit down and blinks at me.
“Attention every one, Rank Industries signed a $70 million contract, you’ve got the week off starting from noon today, finish up what you’re doing and anyone found here after noon will be fucking fired! Oh and well done. That is all.”
BRITIN STUDIO
JUSTIN
I hope the meeting today went well. He’s still dwelling about Lindz and her lies to Gus about his conception, I’m not sure that he’s going to hold that in much longer, though he did make a good attempt to take it out on my ass, not that I’m complaining.
“Justin! Justin!” Alice is urgently calling my name.
I swing open the door and am immediately grabbed by Brian and hauled over his shoulder.
“Brian what…! Alice what’s going on?!”
“I couldn’t help myself 30 turned into 70 time to celebrate, starting with you naked!”
“Oh no, no Brian, please, I need to paint Brian! Alice do something!”
“I am, I’m leaving you to your, watchacallit, oh yes fuckfest, enjoy!”
“Alice I thought you were my friend!”
I squeal holding tightly onto any surface I can but he’s too strong easily prying my fingers off the bannister, the door jamb and making his way determinedly to the bedroom.
After slapping my ass he dumps me on the bed. I try to dash to the bathroom, again easily caught, he carries me struggling to the bed.
“Brian please listen…mmm…I want the option to walk afterwards! And I do have to finish, oh God, my…just there…please oh shit…”
“Okay we’ll start with a Brietling…”
ALICE
I love working here, since I know they won’t be down let alone going out for the rest of the day, I lock up the house and take Lilah and Milo with me. I leave a note for the boys about the food and the furballs and head back to the cottage.
BOYD HONEYCUTT HOME
EMMETT
“Zee’s back and she wants to test the messy fest on Sunday, they are swapping weekends with Brian and Justin so we’re overnighting at the Treehouse next weekend instead…honey you okay?”
Drewsie has been awfully quiet these last few days.
“Why weren’t we considered? I can understand Ted and Blake and the others, but us surely they could’ve considered us?”
He folds his arms and looks so insulted, I immediately unfold them, reminds me too much of Michael, and kiss him gently.
“Okay, a little clarity is called for, why weren’t we considered for what?”
“You know, who would go to bed and fuck first after dinner. We have a good sex life, don’t we, okay we’re not as rampant as Brian and Justin, but then again no-one is. And so we’re not as new as the other relationships but to not be considered at all, well it…”
“Hurt your ego?”
“Yeah I guess.”
“We were all considered but they were the top three, if it helps your ego feel better…”
“We were. So where were we?”
“Joint 4th with Ben and Steve.”
“How did the bet star…wait Faal?”
“Of course Faal. Now come with me, I need to nurture my beefy top by making him my nice nelly bottom!”
BRITIN – LATE AFTERNOON
JUSTIN
“You’re so tight! Feels so good!” I gasp and tremble as I thrust into my brilliant adman.
“K-keep going, right there, just right there! Yes!”
He clamps down on me and for the 4th, or maybe 5th, time we come together screaming each other’s name before we collapse in a sated sticky sweaty heap.
“Sh-sh-shower.” He stammers.
I nod and slowly withdraw with a groan and flop onto my back.
“Oh meant to say I’m off next week, so we could’ve spread that…ouch!”
He yelps when I smack his ass and slowly rolls on his back to face me.
“You wicked man.”
“You can spank me for it…but make it next week sometime deal?”
“Deal.”
LIBERTY AVENUE
MICHAEL
It doesn’t look like ma is in yet, I want to speak to her away from the diner. I might head to his store, which still sticks in my craw, to see what he’s doing.
“Excuse me, can you help me?”
I smile at her and nod.
“Can you tell me where Uptown Gallery is?”
I point her in the direction and make my way to the store.
BEN
Holy fuck, what the hell is she doing here and was he just talking to her!
RED CAPE COMICS
MICHAEL
“Hi Stuart how are you?”
“Fine, what can I do for you today?”
“Nothing, just browsing. Oh do you remember that kid who had that comic for auction the Scorpion Head one, how much did it go for in the end?”
“Just over $7K after commission, I was surprised really considering the condition.”
I can feel the anger flash through me, I paid $150 for that and he gets that much money for it years later, I wish I had bought a copy at the time, and of course David didn’t pay me the money back!
“Oh good, good for him. I’m going to go upstairs.”
“Sure.”
My guts twist at everything I see, and the amount of customers more than when I had the store. Blake has a lot to answer for once I get my store back it will be bigger and better!
BEN
I follow at a discreet distance and hope and pray she’s not going where I think she’s going. Sadly she is, I grab my phone and quickly call Lydia.
“Lydia its Ben, look there’s a redhead about to come into your gallery, under no circumstances should you let her see Hunter…what he’s out thank God, don’t give her any information or anything about him. I’ll come by later to explain and don’t tell him she was there either, let me do that.”
I make another call.
“Hi Carl, we have a problem.”
UPTOWN GALLERY
CARA
“May I help you?”
“Yes I would like to…”
“It’s okay I’ve got this.” Lydia interrupts.
LYDIA
“How can I help you today?”
“Yes, I wonder if you can, my name is Rita, Rita Montgomery and I’m looking for my son James, actually, he goes by the name of Hunter these days.”
“We don’t have anyone of that name working here I’m afraid, now if you…”
“Bruckner is the surname he uses now and I know he works here and I want to see him!”
“Follow me please.”
She smiles tightly and follows me to the office.
“Don’t sit, you won’t be here long.”
“Now just…”
“So what do you want?”
“I want to see my son as his mother I have the right…”
“No you aren’t and no you don’t…”
“You don’t know Jimmy, he will want to see me. I just wanted to tell him face to face how proud I am of what he’s achieved?”
“Ah its money you want. So let me guess you saw his picture and the big word “art” and thought let me come see my darling boy. Well I have news for you, you come anywhere near Hunter and I…”
“Hey Lydia, the…you what the fuck are you doing here?” Hunter screeches to a halt.
“Sorry Lydia I didn’t see him come in, I would’ve stopped him.”
“It’s okay don’t worry about it.” I reassure her.
“Jimmy! How are you…”
“Don’t come near me.”
I’m so proud of the steadiness of his voice.
“But honey I just wanted…”
“Money? Well you’re not getting anything from me, so crawl back under whatever bumfuck rock you out from under and leave me alone.”
I watch her turn from darling mom to mommie dearest in seconds.
“Be careful Jimmy, you wouldn’t want these nice people to know about your past would you? Now I’m…”
“What about his past? How his mother prostituted him out and as a result he has HIV do you mean that? Or how she on discovering that he has HIV called him a disgusting little faggot in front of a judge and accused him of trying to give it to her? Having just been awarded custody of him. Which not only shows your ignorance but your continued stupidity. You see up there in that corner is a camera and it has recorded everything you said, now like he said go back under that bumfuck rock you dragged your drug addled ass out from and forget you have a son, oh yes honey I can smell the shit on you and I bet if we pushed up those sleeves we’d see fresh marks.”
I step round my desk and open the door and just before she goes through I stop her and whisper harshly.
“Leave him alone, you no longer know him, come back again and I will put you in a place where even the dead don’t want to be buried.” I let go of her arm. “Cara show this person out and make sure she’s on the banned list…in every gallery in Pittsburgh.”
I slam the door and immediately grab Hunter who was sliding to the floor in horror and despair.
“I suppose I should be…”
“Having this as quickly as possible.” I shove a whisky into his hand.
He coughs a little and looks at me with tear filled eyes
“So how’d…”
“I used to be a girl scout so I’m always prepared. Now my dear boy, you go home, you’ve had a terrible shock. And call your dad, he gave me the heads up. Now go, see you on Monday.”
DINER
BEN
“Hunter, what’s wrong are you okay?! I’m at the diner, no listen to Lydia and go straight home okay. I’ll see you in about 30 minutes.”
“Ben what on earth’s wrong?” Kiki asks hearing the fear in my voice.
“N-nothing I’m sure it’s nothing. Look if a redhead in a black jacket comes in asking for Hunter you don’t know him okay? And let Deb know too. I’ve got to go.”
As I dash out I see Michael coming to the diner at full speed.
“Ben! Ben! I’ve…”
“How could you Michael, how could you send her to him?”
“I didn’t realise who she was until I walked away and was in the store…”
“But you knew where she was going, you could’ve gone there and stopped her or given her wrong directions.”
“Ben like I said I didn’t realise who she was. I know what I’ve said and how I’ve been about Hunter but I would never have done that on purpose, please believe me!”
I look at him for a while and part of me wants to believe him but I’m not sure. Not sure at all.
“I have to go, I have a shocked son to look after.”
“Ben! Ben wait!”
“No Michael, he comes first!”
MICHAEL
I head into the diner and slump into a seat.
“Judging by the expression on your face and the expression on Ben’s, I’d say you’ve fucked up again haven’t you?” Kiki demands
Just then the door opens and there she is and she makes a beeline right for me.
“Hi, thanks for showing me the way to Uptown, but the person I was looking for wasn’t there.”
“Oh and who would that be sweetheart?” Kiki asks
“Hunter Montgomery…well he’s a Bruckner now”
“And what business would you have with my grandson Mrs Montgomery?”
“Grand…who the hell are you?”
“Horvath, Detective Carl Horvath of Pittsburgh PD, again the business you have with my grandson?”
“I just want to see him to let him know that…”
“He already knows that he’s got all the family he needs, now this is a respectable establishment and we don’t like riffraff trash in here, so if you please…” Kiki indicates the door.
“I just wanted to see my boy…”
“He’s not your boy anymore you gave up that right remember! Now you heard them fuck off!”
I pull her to the door and shove her out.
“That’s one fuck up redeemed, now work on the rest.” Carl mutters and walks out.
I sigh and decide to talk to ma another time and head to my car and she’s by the side waiting.
“Here Rita, here’s your money. Now don’t come back ever again. Understand?”
She nods and heads to wherever, a part of me should feel bad but she never actually did anything other than turn up and it was a pure fluke that I saw her when I did earlier in the week.
I want back in with Brian and if it takes using the ex-littlest hustler, and now darling of the art world, to do it whilst making myself look like a hero then so be it…and with Carl turning up it worked out better than I thought.
BEN & HUNTER’S
BEN
“Lydia said she knew all about you and told you that she will see you on Monday, so take it as she’s said and just enjoy the weekend.”
“Yeah. I suppose. Oh did you hear there’s another messy fest this weekend and we’re at Treehouse, we might go back to the loft though, I can’t stand her looking at me like I’m shit much longer.”
“Ah she’s just jealous, did Lydia tell you what happened at Bloom?”
He shakes his head.
“Well I heard from Kiki that some leather bears turned up for the showing and Sydney was so impressed that he insisted they be added to the mailing list for future events, called it opening the art world to the diverse nation.”
“How’d Kiki find out about that? I wouldn’t have thought that art was her thing, though she was very cosy with Lydia on Friday night, which I thought was odd.”
“You find friends and allies in the most surprising of places. Now seriously how you feeling and where you going to stay tonight?”
“Better. Think the loft, it has a bigger shower and Matt gets out early today. See ya!”
BROWNSTONE – EVENING
JENNY
“Okay so tell me once more what he did!”
I’m bouncing on the sofa having heard from mom who heard from grandma who heard from Kiki that my dad threw Hunter’s old mom out of the diner.
“As I’ve already told you, he told her to go away.”
“Yeah okay let’s go with the polite version.” I giggle
Mom smiles and rubs her eyes tiredly.
“You look so tired, I can set you a bath with some of the stuff Matt has he won’t mind. And then I can reheat some of the food from yesterday or order a take out? And may I interest you in a glass of wine, you’ve had a long week what with the trial and all, though I’m not sure I can use that bottle opener, it looks like something from NASA.”
“You know what sweetheart that all sounds a great idea, double check with Matt first and definitely takeout tonight. Not pizza though, as you’ve said there’s not a lot of give in Gucci and Prada. And I’ll open you pour alright.”
Mom heads to the kitchen smiling whilst I go to my room to call Matt.
“Hey Matt, you okay, look can I use some of your bath stuff tonight. No not for me for mom, no my mom…yeah I had noticed that too. Which ones, hang on I’m just going into your bathroom. Okay there’s Aesop, Aromatherapy Associates, Anthony, Eve Lom…wait you use Eve Lom oh can I have the spare lip balm I can great…and then there’s Caudalíe, um just loads what do you recommend? She’s really tired and I want bubbles too. Okay got it thanks Matt!”
I head to the bathroom to make my mom the best bath I can and whilst she’s soaking I can talk to her about Hank!
MEL
I’m so pleased that the trial was postponed for two weeks, it’s been a tough one and this is only the preliminary, lucky Harry and I spotted their flaw in their argument so they’ve got a resubmit. And even better, we’ve finally got an appointment with Joshua to look over the paperwork.
I’ve taken out some menus for tonight very glad that there is another event at Bloom so Lindz is out this evening. I have a feeling that Jenny is going to ask if Michael can come for lunch on Sunday in light of his heroics, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it was because of his directions that she found him in the first place but in fairness, just, she could’ve got them from anyone.
What I’m concerned about is what Ben mentioned about the support and contact with Jenny after he had the row with Michael.
But tonight I’m going to forget about that and about Lindz and have a girlie night with my daughter, Gus is at his grandparents still downloading pictures so it’s just us two.
I’ve opened the wine and taken out two glasses, one wine and one tumbler and just as I start to head upstairs I hear the buzz of my phone.
“Melanie Marcus speaking. Oh hey guys, sorry I’ve not been able to get back to you it’s been a bitch of a week, that date and time works for me. Sorry what, what? What do you mean she told Gus he was conceived naturally…oh for fucking crying out loud! Sorry to shout, what do you mean more…gave in, gave in what the hell is that supposed to mean! I’m sorry boys but this shit needs to be called on, she’s not lying to our son! Yeah over the weekend definitely.”
I take a breath and head upstairs, I can’t wait for her to try and wiggle out of this one!
“Hey can I come in yet?”
“Yep!”
I open the door and am immediately assailed by steam.
“Honey I think you should’ve opened the door a little!”
I swing the door a few times to clear the steam and find Jenny kneeling by the bath which is filled to the brim with bubbles.
“Jenny, Matt is going to kill you for using all this stuff. Although it does look really inviting…”
“No he won’t he told me what to use and I even got to use his bubble maker, now test it first to see if it needs to cool down a bit or more hot.”
I put my hand in and wince a little.
“Bit more cold water…I’ll be back.”
Within 5 minutes I’m slipping into the nicest bath I’ve had in for a long time, she pours me a glass of wine and then looks at the tumbler. I shrug and smile at her.
“So Hank anymore news?”
“Oh so glad you asked. Momma caught me texting him but I don’t think she’s worked out who he is yet, I don’t know why but I think she’s going to make too much of a deal about this. I so don’t want to tell her or dad, as he’ll most probably clap me into a chastity belt and sling me into St Mary’s Convent for Sheltered Daughters* in 10 seconds flat, until I absolutely have to.”
“Honey I know what you’re saying but you can’t lie to them about this. And saying nothing is still lying. How about whilst we’re all at the Treehouse you tell her then, handle it like you did the roller derby, and…”
“Do you think they will let dad come after what he did for Hunter?”
“Why don’t you ask them, you never know.”
“Okay but after the bath…oh and order to save the environment can I have the water after you…”
She looks so hopeful and I sometimes forget how young she is such is her personality and determination.
“I would be doing the environment a disservice if I was to be the only one to benefit.”
“Of course, now I’m going to grab the menus and then show you the latest texts.”
TREEHOUSE – SATURDAY AFTERNOON
ZEE
“Hey Justin is Brian about? Ah okay, can you get him to call me back, just had a call from Jenny, she wants her dad to come tomorrow and I wanted…oh she did, okay same routine, lunch and gone that’s fine. Yep see you tomorrow. No you can’t come earlier to help, you can wait like everyone else. Actually, no you can come earlier as you and I need to have a little chat, nothing bad, just need a bit of advice on something.”
I look over the menus again and still feel that the fries are a bad idea, I love fries, but in a messy fest it’s all about the texture of the food, it has to be soft messy not crisp messy, but that’s was one of their non-negotiables, for the rest of the menu we could do whatever we like.
Hunter told us about his mom and I made a mental note to tell Uncle Luc about that too but not today it can wait, it’s been dealt with and no doubt Faal will handle it on the back end like he did with me and David.
We have a quiet day of it today now I’ve set up the dining room and head to find my man.
“Hey lig, how is my lovely wife?”
“Good all good, amazingly ahead of myself for tomorrow. Need help or distracting?”
“Sadly, help, our newest client has sent a load more crap for us to look through and two sets are better than one. He sends his regards to the hot security analyst though, he thought it was a shame that he couldn’t get your direct email.”
“Ik zou liever geneukt worden met een kettingzaag. Okay, let’s get this shit done.”
“A chainsaw really you would rather be fucked by that?”
“On full speed of course.”
“Of course.”
SHADYSIDE
MICHAEL
“Hey honeybun, I’m fine thank you how are you. I can really that’s great, what time, no problem I’ll come to the Brownstone and we can go together as a family. Yeah see you tomorrow.”
BROWNSTONE – SUNDAY MID-MORNING
LINDZ
I’m so looking forward to lunch today, messy fest sounds like fun…not sure what it entails it may be an all-round sensual experience with oysters and other aphrodisiac foods!
Mel has been a bit frosty since Friday, I’m blaming the massive case she’s working on. Michael will be here soon and at least he’s stopped complaining about the taxes he owes, thank Christ.
It should be interesting how he and Ben behave post-divorce, Mel said that he really ripped into him when Michael called to say he wouldn’t be paying any of the fees, which I don’t think he should after all Ben wanted this divorce not Michael so why should he pay for it.
“Uh Lindz, why are you dressed like that?” Mel smirks at me.
I don’t see what is wrong with how I’m dressed. Burgundy cashmere turtleneck, matching cardigan, black trousers and my new boots.
“Because I want to make the effort…” I look at her and leave the rest of the sentence unsaid.
She on the other hand is wearing a pair of bootcut jeans, a thin jumper and a gilet, okay I can give her the Gucci boots but she’s not made half the effort I have. And neither have Gus and Jenny, who look equally underdressed.
“Aren’t you coming mom? I thought you said you were coming?” Gus asks
“I am coming Gus. Uncle Michael will be here soon and then the service, I’m not sure if he’s driving here or taking a cab though.”
“But you can’t go like that, you don’t want to ruin your clothes and you will.” Gus continues.
“Nonsense. Ah your Uncle’s here as is the service. Now come on let’s go.”
I shepherd them all out, despite the frowns on their faces and Michael gets out of his car, he’s also made an effort, navy dress pants, loafers, grey jumper and light blue shirt.
“Dad you too. Let’s just hope there’s clothes for you to change into.”
Jenny grumbles as she heads to the car and taps on the window.
“Shotgun!” Gus bellows.
“Drat!” She grumbles and gets in the back.
“So do you know what this messy fest involves?” Michael asks.
“Yep, I do indeed.” Mel replies smirking.
TREEHOUSE
LOUNGE
JUSTIN
Zee and Emmy Lou are being very mean. They have actually locked the dining room so I can’t see the menus and on top of that everything has been prepared in the back kitchen, which is also locked. However, they have somewhat redeemed themselves with the choice of drinks. As well as bubbles, there are cocktails, one rum and one gin based as well as red and white wine.
We’re waiting for Mel, Lindz, the kids and Michael to turn up. Alice and George are with their grandkids this weekend and Vince is in New York…I had better get details! And we have been made to promise to bring back doggy boxes.
“Uh Justin, may I have a word?” Zee asks.
I look across at Brian who shrugs and goes back to chatting to Faal and Drew, she leads me to the kitchen and motions for me to sit.
“I’m mad at you.” She states flatly.
I’m surprised, we haven’t spoken much since the gallery opening and I can’t think of what I have done wrong.
“I…”
“Come in Emmy Lou and close the damn door!” She orders.
“What’s Sunshine done?” Emmy Lou asks.
“Made him faint and of course in his drunken eloquence he told Faal and Faal told me so I’m mad at you.”
I can feel the blush creeping up from my toes.
“He didn’t!”
“Yep, so what did you do…”
“Wait, back up a bit, what made him, I mean, who faint?” Emmy Lou is confused.
“Brietling. So what was it?” I ask again.
“Oh my God, go Sunshine. Oh I see…”
I shuffle on my feet a bit and realise that this is Zee and Emmy Lou and grin.
“Got a whole cucumber? And is Faal circumcised?”
She hands me one and nods.
“Okay, hand me that knife Emmy.”
I start to carve a very realistic cucumber cock.
“Okay so that’s about, well roughly his size. Right so even if he is circumcised they can sometimes leave the frenulum behind, that’s the piece of skin that’s attached to the foreskin, what I did was to apply gentle lapping licks with some lube to that and then swallowed him down like this…”
As I took down it down there was a gasp of surprise from Emmy Lou and after slowly sucking back up and lapping I swirled the ‘head’.
“It helps if you have no gag reflex, luckily I don’t and neither does Brian. And then I rimmed him and then he fainted.”
I realise that they are no longer looking at me but at the now open kitchen door, where my mom is standing stock still with Debs behind her.
“So God’s gift to Gay PA really is gifted.” Debs cackles
“I will never look at a cucumber in the same way again.”
She says and they both head back to the lounge.
“Why didn’t you say they were there?!” I groan.
“I was taking notes!” Zees snickers.
“I was thinking of Drewsie!” Emmy Lou chortles
And before long we are crying with laughter. We finally manage to compose ourselves ten tear filled minutes later and head back to join them.
“Just called Paul, there’s been an accident, it’s clearing so they will be another 10 minutes, so lig can it hold?” Faal asks her.
“Yep not a problem.”
Finally, the doorbell goes and Faal goes to let them in and the moment I see Lindz, I want to burst out laughing at what she’s wearing and also smack her in the face with a truck.
“Uh Lindsay you look nice…” Mom says coming over to kiss her cheek.
“Thank you Jennifer. Excuse me I just need to have a word with Brian.”
“Hey Lindsay, you do indeed look nice, but aren’t you and Michael both overdressed for lunch?”
Faal asks his eyes dancing, she frowns and shakes her head.
“As I said to Mel, I believe in dressing for the occasion…” She does the hair flick and simpers.
I have to bite the inside of my mouth when I see Zee roll her eyes and mimic her.
“Right time for…” Emmy Lou begins
“Actually, I want to say something.” Jenny begins shyly. “And I don’t want to make it a big thing which is why I’m saying it now. There’s boy I like and we’ve been on one, I repeat one, date, it was nice and we’ve been texting and emailing but that’s all. There’s nothing to get excited about no need to plan a wedding or lock me in a convent. I like Hank and I would like to continue to like him without any interference from anyone. And no there will be no questions taken.”
She beams at us all and goes to hug her mom.
“Way to go baby, nicely done.” She murmurs.
“Hank, Hank who?” Michael demands.
“Cameron.” She replies. “Now dad I know you don’t like his dad for whatever reason but that is between you and him. You and him okay?”
“Yes of course Honeybun.” He nods and gives her a smile.
Lindz is beaming and wanting to know details.
“Momma, I don’t want to talk about him now, I just want to enjoy the messy fest…are you sure you don’t want to change?”
“Okay right we are now going to begin…follow me people, Gus you are on clipboard duty.”
Emmy Lou leads the way and I decide that I would prove to them that I could practice restraint and not go Tasmanian devil on them!
ZEE
“Okay folks. This messy fest is for the Leather Boys of P-Town. The menu is thus: fries…you can eat them but don’t bother to comment on them, they are non-negotiable…chicken drumsticks with ginger barbecue sauce; diced scallops in a half shell with pesto cream sauce; roasted sweetcorn with the following butters…Mexican, Middle Eastern, Italian, Asian and Jamaican…chick pea and potato latkes with mint and chilli salsa; cheddar, pickled mushroom and wild garlic toasties; huevos rancheros cups; za’atar lamb chops with pomegranate molasses; vegetable noodle salad in lettuce cups and for dessert there’s raspberry and white chocolate eclairs, salted caramel ice cream pecan cookie cups and caramelised cherries...Emmy Lou your turn.”
“And drinks there are a variety of beers, which we will get Carl, Tucker and Steve to pass comment on, blackberry vodka, gin and elderflower slurpies and a variety fresh juices. Now we are going to bring them in with the assistance of the lovely Jenny, Jennifer and Gus. There is to be no and I mean, no eating until all the mains are on the table. The desserts will be later.”
I look at Justin’s face and he has that same dazed/glazed expression he had when he was showing us the Brietling.
When Emmy Lou brings the food in and they plate up, Gus hands over the clipboards and we begin.
“Uh excuse me Zee, but you and Emmy Lou seem to have forgotten something?” Lindz calls out.
“Yeah something quite important to every dinner party.” Michael chips in.
“And what would that be?” I know exactly what they are going to say.
“Cutlery, you know knives and forks.” She replies smiling. “It helps to enhance the dining experience.”
“The clue is in the title of this meal. Messy fest. The point is to eat with your hands, hence the water bowls for rinsing when you get too messy.”
Brian drawls as he pours the scallop into Justin’s mouth and licks away a drip.
“Uh boys, keep it PG please.” Carl chuckles.
“Yes Brian, there is a time and place…” Lindz grumbles turning back to the table.
She doesn’t notice Brian quickly pull Justin tightly to his chest to stop him getting at her, he whispers something in his ear and he calms but not by much.
I head towards Mel.
“What’s with Tazzy over there?” I nod at a still seething Justin.
“There’s been a development, tell you later.” She mumbles.
By the time the food is finished, we have cut the fries…they just don’t work…the latkes and the noodle salad, which pleases Brian immensely as he immediately requests to take it home.
Suitably stuffed we head to the lounge to digest our food.
MICHAEL
I now wish I had worn something else because I have food down the front of my jumper and on my pants. Lindz has fared no better, she’s got some butter down the front of her top and managed drop a drumstick on her trousers.
Ben and Steve have spoken to everyone but me, which I think is childish so I’m going to be the bigger person and speak to them.
“Did you enjoy the food?” I ask them.
“Yep, we always enjoy what Zee cooks, how Faal stays that slim amazing.” Ben chuckles
“I can’t wait for the dessert. Babe, I need to speak to Brian about salad sharing before he puts it in his car and we never see it again.”
“Why don’t you just ask Zee for the recipe?” I snicker.
“Because she’s a caterer and they don’t share recipes…duh! Be right back.”
I glower at his retreating back and turn back to Ben.
“So Jenny is dating now? Our little girl is growing up.”
He frowns at me and goes to say something but changes his mind.
“Hank seems a nice boy, they seemed to have a nice time.”
“How do you know?” I ask a little sharply.
“Because that’s what she said happened.”
“Oh yes of course. So she did. I wonder when their next one will be.”
He shrugs and takes the beer from Steve.
“Did you get the salad?”
“I had Faal run interference but yeah I got some.”
I try not to grind my teeth as ma calls Steve over to discuss something or other and with a tip of his beer Ben joins him.
“Hi dad!” Jenny comes up to me smiling holding a drumstick.
“Honeybun where did you get that from? And how are you still hungry?” I laugh at her.
“Jenny Rebecca come back here with that!” Justin calls out to her.
He advances on her and she starts to chew very quickly.
“You did not just do that! How could you do that?! I had…”
“Hey watch your tone with her, she’s my daughter you don’t speak to her like that!”
“Dad! He’s joking!”
“Your car will be here in 5 minutes if you don’t wind your neck in.” Zee growls in my ear.
“Yes of course he was, sorry Justin.”
“That’s better dad, now come and tell me about your week.”
ZEE
I need a time out and so does Justin, grabbing him I pull him into the office.
“Want me to get the cockcumber? I can rinse it off and you can pretend its Michael’s…”
He snorts and then giggles.
“He’s such a douche.” He sighs.
“Hey douches, apparently, have their uses, so let’s leave them out of it.”
My phone goes and I grin, opening the door, a tray of blackberry vodka and toasties is handed to me.
“Why are there five glasses?” He asks
His answer is given as one by one Faal, Brian and Mel arrive.
“Jennifer, Tucker and Emmy Lou are running interference for us, oh by the way why does she keep looking at my crotch and smiling, it’s weird.”
Justin leans over and whispers in his ear causing him to grin widely.
“Do you still have it?” He waggles his eyebrows.
“Just buy a cucumber for heaven sake!” I giggle.
“What I have a feeling we are out of an interesting loop?” Faal looks at Mel who nods.
“I’ll tell, or more accurately, show you later.” I blow him a kiss.
“Hey why don’t I get to know?” Mel gripes
I lean across and whisper in her ear.
“Eww and eww!” She shrieks before collapsing into a fit of giggles.
Suddenly the door is opened and Lindz is standing there looking peeved.
“There you all are, what are you doing in here? The party is outside?”
“We know it’s our house and we are free to do what we want in it. Do feel…”
Faal is ready to toss her ass to the kerb.
“No actually, I’m glad you’re here Lindz, please come in have a seat.” Justin is ice calm.
“Do you want us to leave?” I ask.
“No, we’re all friends here I’m sure there’s nothing that we can’t say in front of each other.”
Again with the simper and hair flick/fluff thing.
“Uh Lindz, you might…” Mel begins.
“To quote Brian or was it Faal…just rip off the bandage.”
“Okay babe I’ve got this. Why did you tell Gus about Daphne and me?” Justin demands. “And why does he think that he was conceived naturally as opposed to someone squirting it up you?”
Lindz’s jaw drops open and she looks from Brian to Mel to Justin and back to Justin who really, really, wants to get out of Brian’s lap.
“I didn’t say that to Gus!”
“Which didn’t you say?” Mel is glacial.
“Okay I did mention to him about Justin and Daphne but just in the context of what we were talking about and that will remain private, I’m sorry that I used you as an example of what not to do…”
“What not to do!” Justin is now pulling at Brian’s hands.
“In, in the context of how after you two…I mean how awkward it got between you afterwards and how you almost lost a best friend.”
Justin narrows his eyes but stops pulling at Brian’s hands.
“And Brian and you fucking to get him?”
She blanches a bit and swallows hard.
“It’s all a ridiculous misunderstanding, he asked if we have ever and I said yes and he must have assumed that I meant then, I will clear that up with him when we get home tonight. How did you know about that anyway?”
“Gus told us.” Brian answers carefully.
“Oh, why would he bring that up?”
“His discussion with them like your discussion with him will, I assume remain private yes?”
Brian and Justin nod at Faal.
“Now why don’t you and I rejoin the party, they’ll be there in a minute, since they made the mess they need to clean it up.”
“But Mel…”
“Is helping them too. Come Lindz let us enjoy the rest of the evening.”
Faal takes her firmly by the elbow and steers her back to the lounge and closes the door.
I am staring at them in shock.
“Did you believe her?” Brian asks quietly.
“About what she said about Justin and Daphne, possibly, but what she said about Gus’s conception not really.”
“Why not?” I’m surprised at how calm she is.
“She always says ‘ridiculous’ when I’ve either hit the mark with something or she’s hiding something and she’s been saying that a lot these days…it’s her ‘tell’.”
We sit in silence for a while before Justin clears his throat and looking her dead in the eyes asks.
“After we’re married, how difficult would it be for me to formally adopt Gus?”
“Well it would take either a formal request from Gus, the reinstatement of Brian’s rights or Lindz or me giving up ours. But that’s only the case because he’s under the age of 18 after that it’s up to him.”
“Thursday is going to be interesting.” She snorts.
“To say the least.” Brian mutters.
*Thanks Nichelle, that just had to be used, hope you don’t mind.