Chapter 9

Walking over to the bar, he ordered two shots and a beer. Ted walked over to the bar, standing silently by Brian. After Brian ordered a second beer, Ted looked at his boss with a worried face.

"You okay, Bri?" Ted asked as he watched Brian chug half a beer.

"I'm fabulousss," Brian slurred his words slightly.

"Let me call the service. I think you need to go home," he stated firmly, brooking no arguments.

Brian looked at Ted, seeing the caring in his eyes and wondered how did he get to be so close to this man. In many ways, Ted understood him better than Michael, and he could confide in Ted. Ted knew about the cancer before any of the others and had kept it quiet.

"Justin's at home," Brian stated sadly.

"Justin wants you to be there," Ted assured him.

Brian shook his head. "Don't think so. I'm such a shit."

Ted led Brian out of the bar and away from prying eyes. "He loves you, Brian. He's your partner."

"I hurt him, Theodore." The anguish in Brian's voice cut straight to Ted's heart.

"The car's here, Brian. Go home to Justin." Ted opened the door and instructed the driver to take him home to Britin. He walked inside to rejoin his friends. "We did not just hear that conversation. It should be between Justin and Brian. Now, I'm up for Babylon. Anyone going to join me?"

Chapter 10

All the men said ‘yes' and they made their way to the dance club. Everyone paid their admission and went straight to the bar where they ordered drinks, and then they walked over to a tall table, surveying the crowd.

"Teddy, what do you think Justin will say when he hears about Brian?" Em asked his very best friend. He took a sip of his Cosmopolitan and frowned.

Ted looked around, making sure no one was paying attention to their conversation. "Honestly, Em, I'm not sure. Bri was devastated. He told me he was a shit and that he hurt Justin. He's really hurting."

Emmett fanned himself at the comments. "I never thought I would live to see the day that Brian Kinney admitted to hurting anyone. And to say that he is a shit. Well, that tops all," Emmett remarked thoughtfully.

"Brian has really changed, especially since his ‘accident'. I think he is feeling very lost. We should support him and Justin. Let's just keep this conversation between us. It really shouldn't go any further."

"Okay," Em agreed. Looking around, he saw a hunky man. "Excuse me. Drew left because he has to go out of town in the morning, so I think I'll go ask that yummy man to dance." Emmett sashayed over to the man in question and they both went to the dance floor.

Ted turned to find Blake and smiled when he saw his husband standing patiently by his side. "I'm worried about Brian. He seemed so... so vulnerable. He's drinking like a fish and I think that guy at Woody's tricked with him recently. That is so unlike Brian. He hasn't tricked since Justin came back from New York seven years ago," he confided to Blake.

Blake took a sip of his seltzer water. "He's having a really rough time, Ted. You can only offer your support. He's never stopped drinking, even with the 'accident' that landed him in the hospital. I think he is up to his old methods of pain management," Blake explained in his therapist voice.

"I just hate to see him like this. He's been such a friend and a great boss. I don't want to see him on a downward spiral."

Blake leaned over and kissed Ted. "You're a good friend. You can't do anything right now so let's dance. I have the entire weekend free and we could use some downtimes ourselves." Blake took his finger and sucked it in his mouth for a moment, then ran it down the front of Ted's shirt.

"I like the way you think." Ted joined Blake on the dance floor and they danced, talked with Emmett and enjoyed themselves until the wee hours of the morning, when they left the club for home.

Brian took the car service home. He couldn't get the trick's short conversation out of his head. ‘You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot. You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot.' It was a bad audio reel that was stuck in his memory. "Shut the fuck up," he yelled out loud, trying to get the voice to be quiet, but his shouting did not help. 'You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot. You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again. The other night was hot.' When he arrived home, he was exhausted and hoped that Justin was already asleep.

He signed the car service sheets and tipped the driver. He disarmed the alarm and unlocked the door, walking quietly so as not to wake Justin. He glanced around, remembering that he had driven to Woody's and, once again, his coat and briefcase were still in the car. Damn. This is getting to be a bad habit. I can't keep getting the service to take me home and then have to make arrangements to get my stuff the next day.

He tiptoed into the media room to see if Justin had miraculously fallen asleep while watching a movie, but Justin turned toward him when he heard Brian's footsteps.

"Hey. You're early. I figured I would've finished watching Batman Returns before you got back. I think I'm only half way through. Want to join me?" Justin patted the couch next to him.

Brian hesitated for a few seconds and walked over to where Justin was sitting. "Why not? Gus isn't expecting us until noon. Teenagers--they sleep their life away," Brian stated matter-of factly, skirting the unspoken question.

They watched the end of the movie and Brian attempted to pay attention to the story, but was woefully distracted by the events in the last few days. He purposely yawned largely at the end and stretched his arms upward.

"I'm really tired. I'm heading upstairs. Coming?" Brian stood up, shut off the player and placed the remotes on top of the shelf.

"Sure. Why don't we save my shower until tomorrow? We have time in the morning since you don't have to be at work," Justin suggested.

Brian helped Justin with his nightly routine and he completed his own. Pulling back the duvet, he waited until Justin got in and then shut off his light, before walking to his side of the bed and getting under the duvet as well. As usual, he laid his arm protectively over Justin's middle and they fell asleep.

Brian saw himself at Woody's, sitting at a table with Vic having a beer. "I remember going to a bar, Joe's, similar to this one in New York. There was a group of us that hung out together, similar to you, Michael, Ted and Emmett. We joked, kidded, went to the clubs together. I was having the time of my life. Then one day..."

"You've got a lovely cock and I'd love to suck you off again," the tall brunnete whispered in his ear.

Brian glared at him, his eyes showing their distaste. "I said fuck off," he yelled.

The screaming from Justin woke up Brian. Brian reached over and gently placed his hands on Justin. "I'm here. I'm here," he softly said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Justin opened his eyes, slowly realizing where he was. He moved to be embraced by Brian but was met with an immediate sharp pain. "Ahhh!" he yelled.

Brian eased him back down on the bed and adjusted the pillows behind him. "Breathe deep. You were having a nightmare," he directed.

Justin did as he was told and his breathing evened out. "Shit. I hate that. I thought I was finally beyond those things, but..."

Brian caressed his arm, giving his support without words.

Justin took several deep breaths, regaining his equilibrium. "I was trying to draw but something was holding down my hand. I couldn't move and everybody was laughing at me, shouting at me. Look at Justin. He thinks he can draw, but he can't. How pathetic."

Brian kissed his head and forehead, not saying anything.

"I guess my arm being in a sling and so immobile is causing nightmares. I can't give up my art, Brian," Justin said softly as tears fell down his cheeks.

Brian wiped away the tear drops with his fingers. "You won't. You're already working with the stylus," Brian reminded him. He caressed Justin's hair and cheek, gently running his fingers over the areas available to him. Justin sighed in contentment and his breathing started to even out. "I love you," he said sleepily and was soon asleep.

"I love you too, Justin. I just hope that our love is strong enough," he said very quietly. He closed his eyes and eventually fell asleep as well.

Brian slept in until 9:00 and he was surprised when he looked at the clock. Turning toward Justin, he saw that he was still sleeping. Carefully, he got out of bed and used the restroom. Pulling on a pair of sweats and a wife beater, he walked downstairs and poured some coffee. Sitting down at the table, he drank the coffee as he read the morning paper. Normally on Saturday he would go the gym, but he hadn't done so since the accident; instead, he decided to run on the treadmill while Justin slept.

He kept workout clothes in the room where the treadmill was located, so he changed into his gear. He completed some stretches, put on his iPod and ran for half an hour. Since Justin hadn't shown up yet, he went to the weight bench and completed a set of free weight exercises. Taking the towel to wipe the sweat from his face, he decided that he should go wake Justin if they were going to shower and meet Gus by noon. He walked upstairs and went into their bedroom, where Justin was making the familiar noises before waking up.

He kissed Justin on the lips and said, "Wakey, wakey. Time to get up. We have to shower and eat."

Justin's eyes popped open and he smiled. "Good morning to you. You smell wonderful. Shame we can't enjoy ourselves before we see Gus," Justin lamented.

"Soon. Need help in getting out of bed?" Brian asked as he held out his hand.

Justin took his hand and pushed out his breath as he got up. Inhaling Brian's heady scent, he said seductively, "Eu de Brian. One of my favorites."

Brian grinned, and they went into the bathroom. Brian prepared the shower, then wrapped Justin's arm. They showered and Brian washed Justin's hair and body, and then cleaned himself. They kissed passionately during the shower.

"I love you," Justin stated as Brian rinsed his hair. "Thank you for last night."

"No problem. Do you want to eat at the diner or here?" Brian asked as he turned off the water and pulled the towel off the warming rack. He gently dried Justin's body and unwrapped the arm.

"The diner sounds great. I know I went to Deb's last week, but that seems like forever," Justin explained.

"You could have called the service. A driver would have taken you," Brian reminded him.

"I know. I didn't feel the need to leave, but now I'm ready." Justin pulled out a long sleeve shirt and hoodie and motioned for Brian to help him put them on.

"Your wardrobe hasn't changed since you were seventeen. Don't you think its time to dress like an adult?" Brian teased as he assisted Justin to put on his shirt and then his pants.

"I have to give you fodder for complaining. Besides, where do I go that I need other clothes? I paint most of the time and I can't wear nice clothing when I do that. I have clubbing clothes--you make certain of that. And I have my tux and formal wear for when I have shows," Justin said, categorizing his wardrobe.

"Okay. I guess I failed in that area of your best homosexual training," Brian teased. He pulled out a worn pair of jeans, a wife beater, and a black button-down shirt.

"You should talk, Brian. You constantly shop, yet your wardrobe looks the same as when I was seventeen. You just have to buy the newest Prada shirt or Armani sweater. The items may be new, but they still look the same to me."

"Twat."

They drove into town and to the diner.

No one was there as it was early yet. They sat in their regular booth at the back of the diner, and Justin ordered a waffle and two eggs scrambled, on the side.

"A waffle?" Brian asked.

"I'm tired of pancakes. Rosa has made them every day since the accident."

"She'd make something else. All you have to do is ask," Brian reminded him.

"Yeah, I know. I just don't like to be picky. It's bad enough that you have to cut up a lot of my food," Justin explained.

"Okay."

"There's Brian and Justin," Em exclaimed, clapping his hands a few times. He sashayed toward them and motioned for Brian to scoot over. Justin moved over for Ted to move in.

"So good to see you, baby. How's the arm?"

"It's getting better. Doesn't hurt so much. Just an annoyance at this point. I hate that someone has to help cut my food. Limits the choices," he joked while giving Brian a big smile.

"I'll cut up your food this morning. Give Brian a break," Em offered.

"Thanks. So what's new? Is Drew in town?" Justin asked, realizing he missed his friends.

"Drewsie left this morning and he'll be gone a few days. He's doing some publicity for the Ironmen and a few autograph signings for Brown Athletics. Maybe I'll come out to Britin and keep you company; that is if Brian doesn't mind," Em deferred to Brian.

"It's his house too. He can have company if he wants," Brian agreed. "You two going to talk all day or are you going to order? We're supposed to be meeting Gus later this morning."

Em waived Debbie over to the table. "I'll have two eggs over very easy, sausage and a biscuit. And... an orange juice and coffee," Em stated as he put his index finger to his mouth in his character move.

"I'll have the same, but give me bacon instead of sausage, and toast instead of a biscuit," Ted stated.

"Coming right up. Good to see you, Sunshine. You're coming to dinner tomorrow. I'm making your favorite chicken parmesan."

"I'll be there. I think I'm ready to get out more."

"Good to hear it, honey. Now, let me go put in your order." She scurried off to place their order, leaving the four men alone again.

No one said anything, which Justin found strange, so he started a conversation. "You didn't tell me who won Absolute Abs last night," Justin commented.

"Oh, the men were fabulous, but no one can beat my Drewsie," Emmett crooned.

"What did you think, Brian?" Justin asked a second time.

"Don't know. I didn't go to Babylon," he admitted.

"Why not? I told you to go and have fun," Justin reminded him.

"Something came up. Now can you stop talking? Here's Debbie with our order. Gus told me he had a lot of studying to do today so he won't have a lot of time this morning," Brian said sharply.

Justin looked at the other men, but they were as stone-faced and quiet as Brian. Silently he nodded his head and picked up his fork to cut his waffle.

"Need any help, baby?" Emmett asked.

"No. I can cut waffles. They're pretty easy. It's stuff like chicken and meat that's really tough." He ate a few bites of waffle and drank some milk. The quiet at the table was palpable, but Justin didn't know why.

Brian ate his egg omelet and drank his coffee, glancing over his coffee cup at Ted, his threatening glares obvious to his longtime friend.

"If anyone's interested, I'm going to the opera tonight to hear Traviotta. It holds a special place for
Blake and me," Ted piped up, trying to lighten the mood.

"That's cool, even if I never could understand why anyone would enjoy listening to people sing in a foreign language. I prefer my singing in a language I understand," Justin stated.

Brian ribbed him gently. "I don't know how you can say that, twat. Most of what you listen to isn't even music, much less vocals. It's more like techno with a few syllables thrown in," Brian teased.

"You like my music. I remember the other night..."

Brian ribbed Justin again, this time a little harder and Justin smiled. "Here's your food, guys," Justin said as he eyed Debbie with two plates. "Sorry we can't stay, but I guess my chauffeur is ready to hit the road." Justin ate the last bite of waffle and drank the remainder of his milk. "You guys going to be at Debbie's tomorrow?"

"Yes," Ted agreed.

"Of course," Em said. "See you then."

Brian and Justin walked to the front to pay the bill.

"Anything you want? Lemon bars?" Kiki asked as she rang them out.

"No, thanks." Brian handed her his money and she gave him his change. He handed a few bills to Justin, nodding to the table. Justin took the tip money and walked toward his friends.

"I thought I was going to die when Justin asked about the contest. I guess Brian didn't go home when he left Woody's," Em commented.

"I thought for sure he told the driver to take him home. Maybe Justin was asleep. I can't believe..."

Justin walked up to the table, placing his money on the table. He noticed the guys were talking quietly, something unusual. I wonder what they're hiding. "See you tomorrow, guys." He went outside and got in the jeep that Brian had pulled up to the curb.

TBC