Jesus fucking christ! I hope Justin was right when he said the hospital was only a mile down the road.

The paramedics came quickly and Brian brought them upstairs. 

"I can't catch my breath," Justin huffed as he tried to talk.

The paramedic looked at Brian for explanation. "He was in a car accident a week ago. He cracked some ribs and broke his arm and collar bone," Brian yelled. "Please help him," he pleaded.

The paramedic listened to Justin's lungs. "Lungs are clear. Good breath sounds. He hasn't punctured anything," he announced to his partner. "Let's give him some oxygen and see if that helps."

They placed the oxygen mask over Justin's mouth and nose and he inhaled, trying not to take too deep breaths. After a few minutes, Justin appeared to have an easier time breathing. He took the mask off and spoke to the paramedics, "Thanks. I think I'm fine, now."

"Don't you need to take him to the hospital?" Brian urged.

"No, sir. He seems fine," the paramedic said as he listened again to Justin lungs. "He probably made a sharp movement and pressed his chest. If he has problems breathing again, call us. I think the pain just caught him off guard," he explained as he started putting his equipment away.

Brian walked the paramedics to the door and returned to the bedroom. Justin was lying in bed with his eyes closed, but he opened them when Brian walked in.

"Hey," Justin greeted Brian. "I think dinner might be ready now. Want to help me up?"

"You're not fucking going anywhere! You scared the shit out of me. I'll get Rosa to make you a tray and you can eat here."

"To hell I will. I'm fine. I just got carried away. I've always said your talented tongue will be the death of me," Justin teased.

"Ha ha, not funny," Brian snarked. 

"Will you help me up or do I have to do it myself?" Justin asked.

"I'll help you," Brian agreed as he carefully got Justin out of bed. 

They went downstairs and ate dinner, neither man talking much. After dinner, Justin went to the Media room where Brian helped him sit in the recliner and gave him the remote, a bottle of water and his pain pills.

Brian went upstairs, changed clothes and returned to the kitchen where Rosa was cleaning up.

"I'm going out," he explained to Rosa.

"Sure, Mr. Kinney."

"Justin is in the media room. Check on him. He took a pain pill earlier and should sleep for several hours," he stated matter of factly, without emotion.

Justin was almost asleep as a result of the pain pills, but he turned toward the door when he heard Brian's footsteps. "Brian?" Justin asked without finishing the question.

"If you need anything, Rosa will get it for you," he announced without going in the room.

Justin nodded his head as he understood Brian's message. "Be careful," he said quietly.

Brian turned and left the room without saying another word.

Brian got in his car and drove into the city, silently having a discussion with himself. I can't fucking believe I hurt Justin just so I could get some. This is so fucked! He deserves so much better. When am I going to learn not to think with my dick? He was dressed for clubbing, wanting to forget himself in the throes of the thumpa thumpa. At least the gang isn't going to be at Babylon questioning my presence. Drew and Em are still recovering from the football season and Ted and Blake rarely go to Babylon. I should be safe. Of course, Mikey and the Professor won't be there.

He parked his car in the VIP space; as owner he never had to park far from his playground. Passing the bouncer, he went into the club, assaulted by the smell of smoke, sex and loud music. He allowed the smells and sounds to wash over him, trying to gain the calm he so desperately sought. Making his way to the dance floor, he looked around, trying to locate his prey. Finding a hot brunet, he tapped him on the shoulder and started dancing with him. Soon the man was placing his arms on Brian's neck, attempting to pull him close to feel his stiff cock. Lost in the sensations, Brian closed his eyes, swaying to the music and relaxing as his current situation faded from his mind.

The trick pulled him close. "I want to fuck you," he whispered in Brian's ear.

Brian registered the words, opened his eyes and pushed the trick back into the other dancers. He ran his hand over his hair and then scrubbed both hands over his face. Fuck. Shit. He pushed his way from the dance floor and made his way to the bar.

"A double Beam," he told John, the bartender.

"Coming up, boss," he replied as he placed the shot glass in front of Brian. "You alone? Justin in New York?" he asked innocently.

Brian looked at John, started to answer and then shut his mouth. He threw back the drink quickly and then ordered another. John shook his head and filled the order, then turned to another patron and handed him two beers. Brian drank the Beam quickly and pushed the shot glass back. John refilled the glass a third time but motioned for the security to watch Brian. 

"Hey boss," the muscled man said as he came up next to Brian. 

Brian recognized the bouncer and walked up to the VIP lounge to watch over his kingdom. He unlocked a special cabinet in the room and took out his special stash of Jack Daniels. He drank straight from the bottle as he watched the dancers beneath him. After two drinks, he placed the bottle back in the cabinet and sat down, closing his eyes as the liquor coursed through his body. 

He felt the wet tongue caress his cock; it swirled around his swollen cock head, teasing it with little nips and bites. His hands moved instinctively to pat Justin's head and he moaned in ecstasy. It had been a long time and his cock relished the attention. 

"Yeah, Sunshine. That's it, do it," he encouraged as he arched his hips into the warm, willing mouth.

The trick grabbed his cock, pulling and caressing the shaft as his mouth bobbed up and down. Brian felt the familiar tingling in his stomach and the small of his back that signaled his impending orgasm. He felt the ejaculate erupt from him.

"Justin. Justin, yes. Oh yes," he cried. When his orgasm finished, he opened his eyes to look at his lover and saw the brunet he was dancing with earlier licking his cock clean. 

"Dude, I don't know who Justin is, but you have a beautiful cock. Want to go to the back room and you can fuck me with it?" he asked innocently.

"Fuck! Shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Get out of my way," Brian screamed. He put himself back in his pants and stumbled out of the club. 

His security guard followed him. "I called the service for you, boss. They'll take you home," he informed Brian.

Brian nodded and got into the car as it pulled up. 

"Where to, Mr. Kinney?" the driver asked.

"West Virginia," Brian said dejectedly. What the fuck have I done? He lay his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, trying to get the latest nightmare out of his head. 

The car arrived at Britin forty five minutes later. Brian couldn't get the picture of the trick licking his come from his mind. He signed the travel log and tipped the driver, and then quietly entered his home. The alarm could be disarmed from outside; therefore the noise wouldn't alert Justin to his presence. He walked into the Media room. Maybe I'll sleep down here tonight. I won't disturb Justin and... Jesus Fucking Christ. How am I ever going to tell Justin? Not only tell Justin, but... I can't even think that far. Kinney, you are one sorry Bastard.

He flipped on the switch and there was Justin, lying in the recliner. He quickly shut off the light, praying that Justin did not wake up. For the first time this evening, he was granted a reprieve. Justin did not stir from his slumber. Shit.

Brian exited the media room and went upstairs to take a shower. He stood under the spray until the water got cold, scrubbing his body, trying to rid it of the trick he inadvertently picked up. He dried himself and got into bed, where he lay for at least an hour before falling into a restless sleep. His internal clock woke him only one short hour after he fell asleep. He pulled the pillow over his head, trying to return to sleep, but his body, so attuned to waking at that hour, wouldn't allow it. He thought maybe he and Justin could take a nap later and that brought a smile to his face until he remembered the previous night's activities, and then he groaned out loud. Flipping the blankets off his body, he went to the bathroom to wash up and ready himself for the day. While he had showered the night before, he returned to the shower in an effort to wake his body. This time he did not spend an inordinate amount of time there, realizing that Justin should be up soon and he needed to check on him. He finished his routine, got dressed, and made his way downstairs.

He walked into the media room to check on Justin and found that he was still sleeping. Going to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and some toast, he found Rosa there, preparing breakfast.

"Morning, Mr. Kinney," she chimed.

"Morning, Rosa. How was Justin last night?"

"Fine, Sir. He seemed a little upset that you left, but other than that, he didn't talk much. Will you be working from home today? I need to know how much food to prepare."

Brian walked over to the large picture window in the kitchen and was staring at the snow-covered landscape. Justin often set up his easel in this spot and painted the scenery from this vantage point. It seemed so peaceful. He wished his mind was peaceful, but he knew that his actions had obliterated any chance of that happening any time soon. He did not hear Rosa's question until she tapped him on the shoulder and repeated her earlier question.

"Will you be here all day, Mr. Kinney?"

"I'm not sure. Don't fix anything for me. If I'm here, I can have a turkey sandwich or salad," he replied.

"That's good. Is Mr. Taylor awake? He stayed up fairly late last night waiting for your return. I finally shut the lights out and encouraged him to sleep. He needs his rest so he can heal." She returned to the island where she had taken out a bowl and cracked some eggs into it. "Shall I make you an egg white omelet, Sir?"

"Okay," Brian answered as he ran his hand through his hair. "What time did he go to bed?"

"Oh, I don't remember the time exactly, but it was after 1:00." She added the spices and a few pinches of cheese to Brian's omelet bowl before pouring the mixture into the pan. "Your omelet will be ready in a minute. Will you be eating in the kitchen or dining room?" she questioned Brian.

"Here is fine. I'm not really hungry," he said as he went to the refrigerator to pour himself some guava juice.

He sat down and opened the paper that Rosa had left for him. He pulled out the financial pages and looked at the stock market information from the day before. Rosa placed the omelet on his plate and gave him a small plate with dry wheat toast on it as well. She left the kitchen and Brian ate his omelet as he read the paper. He brought the dishes to the sink and left them there. Even though Rosa was the housekeeper, he didn't like to see a mess and often picked up after himself rather than wait for her to do so.

He went to his office to work, firing up his computer to read any new emails, and to continue looking at the story boards from yesterday. He'd been working for at least two hours when his cell phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, he saw it was Justin. 

"Hey, you're up," he teased.

"Hey. Can you help me get out of this chair?" Justin asked.

"Sure. I'll be right there." Shit. The moment of truth.

Brian went into the media room and walked over to Justin, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Morning, sleepyhead. I've been up for hours. It must be nice to be a man of leisure and sleep all day," Brian teased. He walked in front of Justin, and gently wrapped his arm around his torso to help him up. "Do you want to eat first or get cleaned up?"

Justin's stomach growled at the mention of food. "I guess that's my answer. Why don't you go to the kitchen and I'll find Rosa. She said something about doing the laundry." Brian left the room before Justin could begin a conversation. He found Rosa in the laundry room and informed her that Justin was up and would like some breakfast.

He went back to the media room and grabbed Justin's pills, taking them to the kitchen so Justin could take them with his breakfast. Brian returned to the kitchen, poured two cups of coffee and brought them to the table. He placed three packets of sugar in his cup and one packet in Justin's. He drank his coffee and didn't say a word to Justin.

Justin watched Brian and knew there was something on his mind. I know Brian hates to talk, but I bet he's still freaked out about last night. We should talk about my little panic attack.

"Brian..." He waited until Brian looked at him before continuing. "About last night... I just had a little panic attack. You don't need to freak out about it. Remember after the bashing, they happened a lot. I guess I should call Dr. Calhoun and get a new prescription," Justin explained.

Brian looked at Justin. "A little panic attack, my ass! You couldn't catch your damned breath! That is not a little anything," Brian almost yelled. "You're damn right you'll call Dr. Calhoun, but we're not trying anything until you're healed so you shouldn't need the medication. Still, it would be a good idea to have it on hand. Why don't you call after breakfast and I'll go down to the store and pick them up later today?"

"Okay," Justin agreed. "Smells good, Rosa. What are you making over there?" he called out to the housekeeper.

"Your favorite--pancakes. They're almost done," she answered. She reached for a plate and put the pancakes on it. She brought the warmed syrup to the table and placed the plate of pancakes in front of Justin. "Sure you don't want any, Mr. Kinney? I've got plenty of batter," she questioned Brian.

"No. One breakfast is enough," he said as he patted his stomach. Brian took out Justin's pain meds and motioned to the bottle. "You going to take any of these now?"

Justin shook his head no. "I'm not in pain and I'd rather not. They just make me sleep and I don't like that. He continued to eat his pancakes and watched Brian as he slowly drank his coffee. He seems off this morning, but maybe he's still freaked out about last night. Speaking of last night...

"Where did you go last night?" Justin asked innocently. "It was a little late to go see Gus again."

Brian felt his pulse race and hoped he kept his voice neutral when he answered, "I went to Babylon."

Justin felt a cold shiver run through his body at the mention of their club. "It was late to be looking at the books? Couldn't it have waited until this morning?" he asked hopefully.

"I didn't go look at the books," Brian announced, hating the way this conversation was shaping up.

Justin nodded in acceptance. "I see."

Brian stated matter of factly, "I danced and got drunk. Are you happy now?" he stood up and started pacing the room, unable to face Justin's scrutiny.

Justin watched his lover and partner pace like a caged animal, wincing at the obvious pain Brian was in. "Tell me you at least had the intelligence to take the service home?" 

"Yeah. I have to call the service today to pick me up so I can get the car," Brian admitted.

Justin finished his pancakes, taking some time before he continued the conversation. He drank his juice and coffee and pushed his plate away, signaling he was full. "Did it help?"

"Help? Help what? You are fucking starting to get on my nerves, Justin. Stop with the quiet acceptance and yell, scream, chastise me. For fuck's sake! React," Brian stopped and confronted his partner.

Justin held in a laugh at Brian's tirade, knowing this was not a time to do so. "I think you are queening out enough for the both of us. I'll put it in plain English, Brian. Did your pain management techniques help? Do you feel better?" he asked quietly.

Brian sat down, putting his head in his hands. "No," he said softly. "They did not help." 

Justin reached out to touch Brian's hand, but Brian pulled his hand away. Flipping his phone open, he called the service.

"I'd like a car right away," he ordered. "The car will be here in forty five minutes. If you want my help to get dressed, let's go." He stood up, assisted Justin to stand and waited while Justin made his way up the stairs. 

He helped Justin put on fresh clothing, but he didn't say a word or offer any gentle touches. Once Justin was dressed, he helped him stand up and watched while he walked down the stairs and returned to the media room. He handed Justin the remote, his pain meds, several bottles of water and a blanket.

"Later," he said as he walked out without kissing him.

Justin watched Brian retreat and allowed the silent tears to fall down his cheeks.

Brian took the car service into the city and picked up his car. He didn't want to face Justin; therefore he went to Kinnetik. 

"What are you doing here, Brian?" Cynthia asked as she saw her boss walk through the door.

"Last time I checked, I do work here. I had to come into town so I thought I would stop by. How did the Targus pitch go?"

Cynthia had many years reading Brian Kinney's behavior and recognized avoidance when she saw it. I hope that he hasn't left Justin to fend for himself. Justin needs him and this time I thought he'd be there. "It went fine, of course. The new ad exec, Tom, that you hired two months ago has made some inroads with the Nature's Bounty account. He's scheduled to do a pitch next week."

"I'll go down there and take a look. This is his first pitch with Kinnetik and I need to make sure that he has the company's good work behind him," Brian announced as he started toward the art department.

"I saw the boards yesterday and they are great, but if you don't trust my judgment..." Cynthia stated. She picked up a file off her desk and began flipping through the papers. 

"Of course I trust your judgment, Cynthia. This company wouldn't be where it is without you." Instead of turning toward the art department, he moved toward his office. "I'll just pick up my messages off the phone and then I'll be on my way," Brian said, accepting her ribbing.

"Good. I left several files for you to review. I had planned on couriering them to you this afternoon, but you can take them with you," she said and then returned to her work.

Brian spent an hour at the office and left with his files and some new slides to review. 

"Is Justin up to some visitors?" Cynthia asked as Brian started to leave the office.

"He'd like that. I'm sure it's going to be very boring watching endless daytime TV. I may be there with him, but I can't keep him entertained. I have a business to run," Brian explained.

"Good. Maybe I'll courier the work myself later this week, instead of sending the service. I could kill two birds with one stone," she announced.

Brian smiled for the first time in what seemed like a long time. "You do that. See you later this week, Cyn," Brian said as he walked to his car, carefully putting the items in the passenger seat.