"Hey," Justin said as he answered his cell. He already knew who it was; only one person would call him at this time of night.

"Hey," Brian said.

"You home already? What, slow night at the club?" Justin teased.

"I left it in good hands. That's why I pay those people, so I don't have to always be there."

"Whatever," Justin laughed. "You probably couldn't find anyone you hadn't already had."

Brian ignored the jab. "Some time it sucks to be me." Brian said softly, letting a little more of his melancholy mood show through then he had intended. "So how's the art world?" he asked quickly, needing to change the subject.

"I wouldn't know. I just get to look in from the outside."

"Only time, Sunshine. It will all change for you soon."

"I dreamt about you the last couple of nights." Now it was Justin's turn to change the subject.

"What? You dreamt about my cock?"

"No," he giggled. "These are like the dreams I used to have years ago, when I was in the hospital… after the bashing."

"What's the dream?" Brian asked; the conversation had turned serious.

"That you were here, standing outside my window, watching over me. I remember when I was in the hospital; I would have the same dream every night. In my dream, I was scared, alone. Then I'd see you standing outside my window looking in, watching me. And I'd know everything was okay. Every night it was the same dream. I guess I just wanted you there so bad…. And now, I guess it just means I miss you."

"Maybe it wasn't a dream," Brian said.

"What? Don't tell me Rage has finally gone to your head and you think you have supernatural powers," Justin chuckled.

"Maybe I was there," Brian ignored the joke, "at the hospital."

"Maybe you were, or you were?" Justin asked.

Brian sighed. When he finally spoke, his voice was a whisper. "I would come there after Babylon closed. Stand outside in the hall and watch you sleep until the nurses would change shifts. I knew that your mother would be there soon after that and I couldn't bear to see the look on her face. Not after the way she looked at me that first night, after the prom. So, I would go home, get a couple hours of sleep, then go to work."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I don't know; I was chicken shit. After awhile, I figured you already knew. I assumed your mother told you."

"How did she know - you said you left before she got there every morning."

"Yeah. I didn't know she knew until later. The nurses told her."

"Is that why you never came to see me? Because of her?" Justin asked.

"Maybe... partly I suppose. Because I was too piss in my pants afraid to face her. But I was afraid to face you too, maybe more," Brian's voice sounded so sad. Justin knew he was seeing a side Brian rarely showed.

"Afraid to face me? Why? Brian, it wasn't your fault."

"Ah but it was, Sunshine. It was. I was the adult. I should have known better. I had been living in my own little gay world on Liberty Avenue and I forgot what it was like in the real world. I forgot what it was like to be gay and in high school. I knew, but I had forgotten."

"Brian, Chris Hobbs hated me. He may very well have planned to bash me all along, before you even showed up."

Brian snorted, "I doubt that."

"What? It's not possible that all his hate was directed toward me? You think if you had stayed home that night it would never have happened?"

"I think my coming there and dancing with you... Yeah, I think if I had stayed home that night it would never have happened."

"It wasn't your fault, Brian. Even if our dancing did incite him, he still had no right... there was nothing wrong with me dancing at the prom with my boyfriend."

"Some wouldn't see it that way," Brian said.

"I think it's more about your view of yourself. Long ago you decided you weren't worthy of receiving love. And just when you do something to express your feeling, something bad happens, so of course it's your fault. A punishment for you because you even tried to be happy."

"That's such bullshit," Brian said. "And who said I was expressing my feelings? It was just a dance." And just like that, the walls were back in place.

"Whatever..." Justin sighed, knowing when not to push things with Brian.

"You still don't remember it, do you?" he whispered.

"What?" The question took Justin by surprise. Maybe the walls hadn't gone back up after all.

"Our dance... you still don't remember it?"

Justin sighed, "I wish I did. Sometimes I have flashes of memory. But, honestly, I'm not sure if they're real or just what people have told me."

Brian was silent.

"I'm sorry..."

"No. There's nothing for you to be sorry for," Brian interrupted.

"But..."

"No."

"I still wish."

"...Yeah, I do too."

"So, when are you coming back here? I miss you."

"Hmmm...well, the weekend after next is looking promising."