Part 3

I’m pretty sure we made the appropriate goodbyes as we left the party, but it seems really far away already. Brian’s arm steers me back to the car and I feel myself lean into him heavily as we walk. I feel inflamed and ridiculously conspicuous but hopefully it’s not as obvious as it feels.

God, please let us be going somewhere private to finish this. I’m not sure how much more I can take. The intensity of the desire, the pain – that’s hard enough to handle, but it’s the uncertainty, the total lack of control – that’s what makes my knees weak. And he knows it.

We’re driving again and I’m trying to focus, but all I can do is fidget. He seems completely calm, as usual. My skin feels hot and I want to take my clothes off. I want to feel his hands on me, his mouth. Even if his touch isn’t gentle, I just want him to touch me. I need his hands to ground me.

“Justin.”

My name jolts me out of my reverie. I look at him immediately, blushing even though I don’t know why.

“Relax, Justin.” He looks at my fidgeting hands and smiles. “Am I going to have to tie you up to get you through this?”

I suck in a breath, his words going straight to my dick. He reaches a hand over to my face, brushing my hair behind my ear.

“But you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He’s smiling as he teases me, his voice soft and low. I know that he’s right.

“That would be too easy for you, Justin.” I close my eyes as his voice washes over me. “You know you can do better than that.”

I flush with shame, unable to look at him. I can do better. I will.

I take a deep breath and concentrate on listening to my heart until I realize we’re at the loft already. I wait until he gets out, knowing he will come around the car to get me. I take his offered hand as I step out of the car.

He pulls me against him, letting my body press against his. I sigh, my hands resting on his chest. I can feel his heartbeat under my fingers. It centers me, connects me to him. Reminds me that I never want to be far away from it again.

I assume he’s going to kiss me, but he doesn’t - he just holds me against him, his body hard and lean, his breath tickling my forehead. I look up at him, and the intensity of his stare makes my pulse thrum.

He doesn’t say anything, but I feel my breath start to get faster, my nerves start to unravel. I somehow know he doesn’t want me to move, but it’s like a physical effort to stay still, to wait. I feel my blood rushing through my veins, feel the crackle of electricity in the air around us.

I stand in his arms, letting the feeling of his presence, his power, wash over me. He pulls all of my strength out of me, inhaling it, making me dizzy.

When his hips press towards me, I wrap my fingers around his biceps to steady myself. Then suddenly his hands slide to my ass and pull me roughly against him, and I hear the startled gasp come from my mouth a second before I feel the pulsing heat travel from my cock out to the tips of my toes.

He grinds my body into his, his hands making my hips circle against him, pressing his hard cock into mine until I bite my lip to keep from moaning. Waves of pleasure ripple out through my body and I stop breathing.

My body tenses against him and I’m terrified that I’ll come in my pants right here on the street. My need moves from critical to overpowering, and even though this isn’t the orgasm I want, I know I won’t be able to stop it.

Then his hands are gripping my hips, holding me still as he arches his lower body away from me. I groan pitifully, the frustration pounding through me and out of my mouth.

“No! Brian, please…” I hear how desperate I sound, but I don’t care. “Please.” I scramble for his hips, trying to pull him closer again.

He smiles at me, stepping away but leading me by the hand. He opens the door and steers me by the shoulders ahead of him. As I pass him, he brushes his lips against my ear,

“Almost ready, Justin.” I close my eyes. “Not quite… but almost.” I shudder at the thought of what it will take for him to find me ready.

I hurry, heading for the stairs - I can’t wait for the elevator. When we get to the top, he presses me against the wall and kisses me. I melt into his mouth. Then he steps back and tells me to stay there. When I look at him questioningly, he puts a finger to my lips and simply says, “Wait.”

I watch him go through the door, shutting it behind him. I’m nervous now - I don’t want to wait out here. The seconds feel like hours but then he’s finally sliding the door open again, reaching for my hand.

I step inside the loft and my breath stops. The lights are off, but the whole room is filled with candles and every surface appears to flicker from the small flames. I look at him, my eyes welling. He smiles, letting me look around.

It’s the little things like this that make me love him more every day. The way he can twist my body around his finger and squeeze every drop of desire out of me, but still ravish my heart with the same care that he shows my body. It’s what makes us different now, older. Wiser.

Then his stare gets intense again, and I’m drawn back to his face. I see the flush in his skin, the arousal darkening his cheeks and his lips. I think about the silkiness of his skin, the taste of his sweat, the safety of his arms.

He steps towards me, circling me slowly. I close my eyes when he’s behind me, willing myself to stay still. I jump when his fingers touch my shoulder, trailing across my back.

“Show me, Justin.” His voice is smooth behind me and my brain races to figure out what he wants. I twitch when his fingers trail lower, following each bump of my spine until they rest at the waist of my pants.

“Show me your skin.” His face moves closer to mine, his lips at my ear. “Show me the heat there… the color.”

I moan softly as he licks my ear. My shaky hands move down to my waist, pushing my pants over my hips. I let them fall, my ass bare.

“Take the rest off.” His voice sounds far away behind me. I pull my shirt over my head and wait.

“Very nice, Justin.” I shiver at his words and my heart speeds up. Then his hands are on my back, his fingers tickling across my skin.

“So hot…”

I bite my lip as his fingers rub lower. He moves close to my ear again, “Do you know how much this turns me on?” I moan.

His hands leave my body and I shiver. I hear something behind me but I don’t know what it is. Then I hear his voice, heavy and low.

“Do you know how hot you are, waiting for me?” His voice slides over me like water. Hot water. “Giving yourself to me?”

My eyes fall shut when I hear his zipper.

“How badly I wanted to fuck you in the store?” He’s moving behind me, whispering. “At Michael’s?” My hands are clenched into fists from the effort not to move, not to turn around.

“How badly I want to fuck you right now?” His voice is throaty now, his breathing more rapid. Too rapid for him to be just standing there. I swallow heavily, straining to figure out what he’s doing by the small sounds I hear.

I moan when I hear the hitch in his breath, his soft grunt, the sound of his hand on his skin.

“Brian…” my voice is breaking. “Brian, please…” I shake from the frustration. He can’t come without me, without even touching me.

“So good, Justin,” his whisper shatters me, sends shards of need through me. “Feels so good,” he murmurs.

I start to beg.

“Brian, please. God, Brian… let me. Please.” I’m trembling from the effort. My cock throbs so badly it hurts. “No, Brian… don’t.”

He moans again and I whimper.

“So tight, Justin. Uh… god…”

I hear a chair squeak on the floor and it makes me jump. Then he’s behind me, the heat from his body radiating towards me.

“Bend over, Justin.” I snap forward, my hands reaching out in front of me. They land on the pillar, and I brace myself. I squeeze my eyes shut as I spread my legs for him. I’m going to come the second he fucks me. Oh god.

I hear his breathing increase, hear the sound of his hand on his cock. I grab the pillar, bending my knees for leverage. But he’s not touching me. Where is he?

“God, Justin.” His voice is so ragged I can’t breathe. “Oh… fuck.” He groans from deep in his chest and I don’t know what to do, don’t know why he isn’t inside me yet. He’s not going to make it and I want to cry.

“Brian, god… hurry! Please!”

He laughs as he moans, his hand connecting with my ass so hard it rocks me forward. Then he gasps and growls out his release, and I feel the first spurt of cum land on my lower back.

I moan as I realize he was never going to fuck me, but the heat of his orgasm carries us both and I groan as each pulse coats my ass. I feel it start to drip down onto my legs before he’s even stopped coming. My heart is pounding so hard I almost feel like I came too, but my rigid dick knows differently.

“So hot…” he whispers behind me, his finger spreading the pools of cum around my lower back. He flattens his hand and rubs it around, slicking my entire ass with it. It’s so raunchy I writhe under his hand, small moans coming from my mouth.

“Gonna get hotter,” he murmurs, and I realize he’s pulling his arm back. “Much hotter,” he promises as the first spank lands.

I cry out, the intense desire ricocheting through me like a pinball. I’m slammed into the pillar hard, and I hold onto it as tightly as I can.

Then he starts in earnest, the wetness of my skin making his hand stick slightly each time, making it pull at my skin the tiniest bit. My cock is pushing against the cold metal and I gasp each time his hand comes down. I press against the pole in front of me, trying get away from the slaps and rub my dick against something, anything, at the same time.

“Count, Justin,” he grits out, the effort audible in his voice.

It takes all my strength but I count each one, slowly. When we get to ten he increases the intensity and I want to beg him to stop. When we get closer to twenty, they get harder and slower, each sting radiating out across my skin before the next one follows. I feel like I’m going to collapse.

“Don’t fall, Justin, or we’ll start again,” he warns. I will my legs to keep going, not to crumple beneath me.

At twenty-one he pauses, his hips bumping into my ass as his hands hold me still. He’s naked and his cock is hard again as he rubs it across my ass. I shudder out a moan. He leans close to my face.

“Want me to fuck you, Justin?”

I moan, unable to answer coherently.

“Four more, Justin. If you make it, I’ll fuck you…” his voice drips over me, his cock brushing my sore skin. I nod repeatedly, my body barely grounded.

His hand comes down hard as he pulls away, and I cry out. “Count Justin,” he barks, “…or I’ll do the rest on your cock.”

I shiver violently at the thought, pushing my ass back towards him, giving him better access to me. I moan out each number as the slaps fall, each point of contact prickling out over my skin, traveling down my legs, up my back and across my belly.

The twenty-fifth takes my breath away and I fall to the floor in a heap at his feet. But his hands are on me immediately, pulling me up enough so he can scoop his arms under me and carry me. I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries my throbbing body up the steps to the bed.

He climbs on top of me, his body pressing me into the mattress. When his cock touches my ass, he groans.

“Shit, Justin.” His hands start pulling my hips up, pushing my legs apart. I can’t move without his assistance. “So fucking hot…”

His cool fingers coat my hole quickly, the haste in his movements giving away his desire. I feel the head of his cock against me, then break into a million tiny pieces as he pushes inside me.

“Ah… god…” he drops onto my back, his cock moving inside me. His moan sounds like a plea, a prayer. I can’t even breathe as the pleasure smothers me, surrounds me, carries me under him. I’m coming before I can even open my mouth, the waves pounding me until I’m decimated from the impact.

He keeps moving, his own orgasm building so fast I can hear it coming. He’s moaning my name as he comes, the heat inside my body matching the heat of my skin, and he collapses on top of me, sealing himself to me.

We lay still, our chests heaving as we both come back to earth. He’s heavy on top of me but I don’t want him to move, don’t ever want him to go. He starts to peel his body away but I reach behind me, trying to stop him. He chuckles quietly and lays back down, his forehead resting on my neck. He keeps his weight on his arms so he won’t crush me, but he stays.

He kisses my neck, my shoulders, my back. I turn in his arms so I can watch his face, can touch it. He looks at me and I can see the once-over happening in his head. He runs his fingers through my hair and presses a soft kiss to my forehead once he’s decided I’m ok.

I stare at him, my body coming down even as my soul soars. He’s so regally beautiful it still takes my breath away, even after all these years. He’s older now, less youthfully perfect, but he’s mine, and he’s more beautiful than he’s ever been.

He nudges the side of my face with his nose, pushing the hair away from my ear. His whisper falls over me as I close my eyes,

“Happy 25th, Sunshine.”

I laugh as I snuggle into him, burrowing myself as close as I can as my arms slide around his body. I see the small wrapped box nestled amongst the candles on the night table, but there’ll be time for that later.

He closes his eyes and presses his lips against my eyelid, and I hear the smile in his voice. “Think you can handle it when we get to your 40th?” I laugh.

I pull my head back so I can touch him again, rubbing my thumb across his cheekbone, over his lip. He sighs contentedly, relaxation flickering across his features as he rolls onto his back. I kiss the tip of his nose, his eyelids, his ear.

When I inhale against his skin I feel a tingle building in my stomach. I know he’s tired, but I need him close still, need him in me and on me and around me. Need to be in him and on him and around him.

He opens one eye when my hand wanders down his belly. He laughs when he looks at me. I move a little closer, feeling my own cock stirring again. I’ve been too horny for too long to be done yet.

“How about we practice getting ready for your 40th instead? It’s closer.” My fingers scratch softly in his pubes, inching closer to his cock. He snorts quietly.

Suddenly I feel the need to get his attention, to take him somewhere tonight too. Not sure if it’s my gift to him, or to myself. I reach towards the night table.

“We could make good use of all these candles…” I murmur, picking one up and bringing it closer until it hovers over his body. He looks at me, his face showing me he doesn’t think I’d dare.

I watch in slow motion as I tip the candle. The wax drips onto his chest and runs between his pecs, hardening quickly.

The sound of his gasp and the jerk of his body send ribbons of heat from my cock to the top of my head. His eyes widen and his mouth curves as his hand grabs my wrist. Some of the wax is jostled and it spills onto my fingers, making me gasp too. Shit.

He squeezes my hand, shifting up onto the elbow of his other arm. His face is inches from mine, the candle held tightly in both of our hands.

“Don’t even go there, Justin.” His voice is liquid steel. My breath speeds up again.

“You wanna play like this?” he nods towards the candle.

“I’ll show you how to play, but you won’t like it.” He pauses. “Or maybe you will…” I lick my lips as I stare at him. His voice gets lower again, rumbling over my senses like a freight train.

“Want me to cover your cock with wax, Justin?” I bite my lip. “Let it drip, slowly, over every inch of your dick and your balls until you want to scream?” He’s smiling dangerously at me.

“Actually, no…” my voice sounds less sure than I want it to. I clear my throat, starting again.

“Not that it wouldn’t be fun,” I smile at his smirk, “but it’s my birthday and I had something else in mind.” That sounded better. I hope. I see his eyebrow go up. I watch the thoughts flick across his face as he studies me.

I feel an almost imperceptible shift in his hand covering mine, and then I realize he’s letting go. My mouth goes dry and my dick jumps.

I look carefully at him, and I see the same expression I saw years ago, when I told him I knew what rimming was. Well, not the exact same expression - this one is tinged with more respect, more openness. More equality. But it still challenges me, dares me, doubts me.

Only this time I won’t be confessing that I don’t know what to do.