"Justin!"

Whap

Brian's eyes shot open. He sat up in bed wiping his hand over his face. The dream was back.

He got out of bed and padded over to the liquor cart. He hadn't had the dream in weeks, probably close to two months. He downed a shot, letting his eyes close as the warmth slid down to his stomach and then spread through his body.

He poured another shot and walked over to his desk. Sitting down in the chair he pushed the button bringing his computer to life. He might as well do some work, or answer some emails or hell, look at some porn. He wasn't going to get any more sleep tonight.

He looked beat when he walked into Justin's room after work the next night.

"Wow, you look like shit," Justin said.

"Thanks," Brian said, then noticed Jennifer sitting in the chair on the other side of the bed. "Hello, Mother Taylor."

"Brian."

Before Brian had a chance to make any small talk Justin's doctor walked in.

"Hello Justin," he said. "Mrs. Taylor, Brian. Sorry to be so late in my rounds. We had an emergency this morning and I've been in surgery all day. How are you feeling today, Justin?" he asked as he looked over the charts and then pulled out his penlight to look into Justin's eyes.

"Fine," Justin answered.

"Still no seizures, I see."

"Nope."

He took Justin's hand in his. "Can you squeeze my hand?"

Justin's fingers gripped around the doctor's.

"Good," he said and stepped back, writing a few notes onto Justin's chart. "Well, young man, it's been over a week now since your last seizure. If this continues I don't see any reason to keep you here. You can do the physical therapy as an outpatient."

"You're releasing me?" Justin asked. Brian saw panic flash in Justin's eyes.

"Not yet, but possibly by the end of the week, or first of next."

"Doctor, that's wonderful news. Isn't it, Justin?" Jennifer gushed.

"Yeah," Justin tried to sound happy. "But are you sure I'm ready?"

"You're ready," the doctor assured. "You've come a long way in these last three months."

Brian could tell Justin wasn't so sure, but waited until Jennifer had gone home for the night before broaching the subject.

"So what's up?" he asked when he and Justin were alone.

"What do you mean?" He and Justin were working on the dexterity exercises for Justin's hand.

"You don't seem too happy about going home."

"Um, no, I'm happy. It just surprised me, that's all."

"So where is home?" Brian dared to ask, thinking maybe that was Justin's concern.

"With Mom, I suppose. I mean since Dad's not there anymore. Why?"

Brian shrugged. He wanted to ask Justin to move back in with him but wasn't sure just how to say it.

Justin frowned. "Did Mom say something to you? Does she not want me to move back home?"

"No, nothing like that. I just… I don't know, thought you might…" he trailed off.

"Brian?"

"Your mom's condo is really small and you'd have to deal with the stairs and all."

"I can climb up and down stairs. I hardly even limp anymore," Justin still didn't see what Brian was getting at.

"Yeah, you'll be fine," Brian answered. He had lost his nerve.

"And besides, they probably won't release me for awhile anyway. I mean, I could have another seizure and then I'd have to stay."

Brian nodded, there was something Justin wasn't saying, but if it wasn't about where he would live, then Brian didn't know what it was about, and he wasn't going to get it out of Justin tonight.

Jennifer was at work the next day when her assistant stuck her head in the office door. "Someone's out here asking for you."

"Okay," she said, picking the files she had out and putting them away.

"And he's cute, too"

Jennifer looked past her to see Brian standing in the lobby.

"Is there something you're not telling us?" the assistant asked.

She smiled at her co-worker. "No, Jane, there's nothing going on there." She walked out of her office. "Hello, Brian. To what do I owe this honor?"

Brian noticed he was standing in an office full of middle-aged women and every single eye was on him. He couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable. "I thought I'd take you to lunch if you're free."

"Oh, okay. Sure. Let me get my jacket." She knew tongues would be wagging as soon as she and Brian walked out the door.

Brian, always the gentleman opened the car door for her. She crawled up into the Jeep. "You know, I don't think I've ever ridden in a Jeep before.

Brian simply smiled.

At the restaurant they made small talk back and forth until Jennifer couldn't take it anymore. "Brian, I know you didn't invite me to lunch because you can't get enough of my company. I figure you have something you want to discuss with me, what is it?"

He set his fork down, wiped the corners of his mouth with his napkin and then took a sip of water. "I want Justin to come live with me at the loft," he finally said. He was prepared with reasons as to why it would be better for Justin as well as Jennifer, but she surprised him with her answer.

"Why are you asking me? Justin is of age; if he chooses to live with you I can't do anything about it. Hell, I couldn't keep him from it when he was still a minor."

"I guess I wanted your blessing."

Jennifer sighed. "Brian, after all that has happened I have to say that I want my son home with me. I have tried to accept him for who he is and whom he loves. I have tried to accept you and your world. And I have tried to not blame you or your lifestyle for what happened to him.

"But this is my son and as his mother it's natural that I would want to protect him. So honestly, I would rather you not ask him to move in with you; but I won't ask that; and I won't try to dissuade him when you do ask. I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's the best I can give you."

Justin awoke with a start. Cold sweat ran down his back. Once again he had been back in the parking garage. He sat panting in bed as the dream and memory of that night fleeted back away until all that remained was the intense fear. It seemed unfair that the memory of the danced stayed veiled but the bashing kept visiting him in his sleep.

He tried the breathing technique the nurses had shown him, but the fear still seemed to be swallowing him up. Panic hit him like waves. He hated his weakness as he reached for the phone.

"Brian," he said once his lifeline answered the phone.

"I'll be right there."

"Hey," Brian said softly as he sat down beside Justin on the bed.

Justin crawled into Brian's arms. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For calling you, making you come here."

"That's nothing to be sorry for, you know that."

Justin sighed. Having Brian's arms around him chased away the panic.

"You hadn't called me in awhile; I had hoped you had stopped having the nightmares."

"So did I."

"You want to talk about it? Do you think there was something that made the dream come back?" He wondered if it had something to do with his impending release.

"I don't know," Justin said.

Brian tilted Justin's chin to look him in the eye. "Talk to me."

Justin sighed again. "I know I should be happy to leave here, but that's not what I feel."

"What do you feel?"

"Panic. I would feel like this when I was first in here every night when everyone would leave me for the night, but in here even when I'm alone, I'm still not ever alone, you know what I mean?"

Brian nodded.

"I feel safe here, leaving feels scary."

"He's not going to do anything. Hobbs isn't going to come near you."

"I know, but still…" Justin shrugged.

"Would you feel safer living in the loft?"

Justin shook his head. "I don't think it matters where I am, other than not here."

Brian frowned. He didn't know what more he could say. He wanted to promise Justin no harm would come his way again, but they both knew that's not the way the world worked. "You can't hide in here forever."

"I know. And don't tell Mom either. She'll want to hire a security guard or something," Justin said with a chuckle.

"Hmmm, that could be hot," Brian chided back.

A few days later, while making his rounds, the doctor announced he would be releasing Justin the next afternoon. Justin reached for the phone as soon as the doctor left the room.

"It's happening."

"What's happening?" Brian was confused. Justin seldom called him at work.

"They're releasing me tomorrow."

"That's great, Justin," Brian said as a smile split his face.

"No, it's not," he paused. "Yeah, I know it is. But honestly, I don't think I'm ready."

"Sure you are," Brian assured.

"No, I'm not."

"Justin, you'll be fine."

"Promise?"

"Of course."

"I gotta call Mom. You'll come by tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, later."

"Justin, I uh," Brian stammered later that evening after Jennifer had left. "I was wondering, uh. Fuck. Why is this so hard?"

"What are you trying to say?" Justin asked.

"I want you to come home with me to the loft."

Justin frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I want you to move back in with me."

"You do?" Justin pondered the statement. "Why?"

Brian rolled his eyes.

"No," Justin said.

"No? Why not?"

"Because, it's all wrong. I know you care about me, Brian. But this is out of guilt and that won't work. The first time you took me in was because you felt sorry for me over my dad and look how that turned out. Now, you feel responsible because I took a bat to the head so you're ready to take me home again, but where would we end up this time?"

"Maybe that's not it."

Justin shook his head. "Thanks, Brian. I love that you asked me, but no. I just don't think it's a good idea."

Brian nodded, not sure what more to say.