Brian left work that first night after Justin was released from the hospital a little lost as to where to go. His days for the last three months had been consumed with Justin, and now with him at home in his mother's care Brian wasn't sure where his place was.

He thought of stopping by the diner to grab a bite, but the thought of Debbie and her third degree changed his mind. He thought about calling Mikey to go out for a drink at Woody's, but even that didn't hold much appeal. Finally he decided to just go home, order in and watch some TV.

Brian was nursing his second drink and thinking of changing his clothes and going out to Babylon when his cell rang.

"Hello."

"Hey," Justin said. "I thought you might come by tonight."

"I figured your mom would like to have some time with you."

"You still could have come by."

"And you could have come over here too."

"As if," Justin snorted. "Mom would have a cow if I tried to leave."

"Yeah, well you did just get out of the hospital," Brian agreed.

"So, tomorrow's Saturday, what do you have planned?"

Brian sighed. "I promised Lindsay I'd go over and help her put together Gus's swing set."

"Sounds more like a job for Melanie. Come by afterwards?"

"Yeah, I'll call you when we're done and then come by to pick you up."

Saturday turned out to be one of those perfect spring days. Brian and Lindsay battled poles and chains along with screws and bolts and the usual confusing vague instructions while putting together the new swing set in Mel and Linds's backyard.

"So, how's Justin adjusting to being out of the hospital?" Lindsay asked.

Brian shrugged. "I haven't seen him since Thursday night."

"Bri - an. Why not?"

He shook his head. "I figured Jennifer would like to have him to herself for a little while. I'm picking him up when we're done here.

"Oh. So, at least you have talked with him."

Brian only shrugged again. Lindsay studied him; there was something he wasn't telling her. "Brian?"

He sighed. "I asked him to move back in with me."

"Yeah? That's great."

He frowned. "He turned me down."

"He did? Why?"

"He said I was asking him for the wrong reasons, that I just felt guilty over what happened."

"Well, you and I have something in common then," Lindsay said.

Brian wrinkled his brow. "What's that?"

"Mel turned me down too. I asked her to marry me and she shot me down."

Brian chuckled. "What was her reason?"

"That it wouldn't be legal, only symbolic and it's the straight world's ritual and there is no reason for us to buy into it."

Brian frowned. "For once I think I have to agree with Mel; and speaking of, why isn't she helping you put this contraption together?"

"Because, this is something a father should do."

Brian rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

A few hours later Brian knocked on the door to Jennifer's condo.

"Hello, Brian. Come on in," Jennifer said when she answered the door.

"How's Justin doing?" he asked as he stepped into the apartment.

"He seems a little better this afternoon, but we had a rough night last night."

Brian raised an eyebrow. "Nightmare?"

She nodded.

Brian frowned. Justin hadn't called him. "Where is he now?"

"Back in the den watching TV."

"Hey," Brian said as he walked in and sat down on the sofa next to Justin.

"Hey." Justin smiled. "Did you get the swing set put together?"

"Yeah, it's up and ready to go. We got done just in time for Gus to get up from his nap. When I left, Lindsay was pushing him in the swing."

"Maybe you can take me over there some time to see it."

"Sure. I think Mel and Linds are planning a big birthday party for him next month."

"Really? Cool."

"So you want to get out of here for a while?" Brian asked.

"Yeah."

Justin shouted goodbye to his mother as they walked out the door.

"Where are we going?" Justin asked when Brian didn't turn at the street that would have taken them to the loft.

"I thought we'd grab something to eat at the diner."

"I'm not hungry," Justin said quickly. Panic flashed in his eyes.

"Okay, but I am and there isn't anything to eat in the loft."

"Can't we just order in?"

"Yeah… I thought you might enjoy seeing everyone."

Justin shook his head. "I don't think I'm up to it."

"Okay. The loft it is, then." Brian said turning the jeep around and heading home.

They sat on the sofa after eating Chinese takeout and watched TV. "Are you planning to stay over or are you going to make me drive you all the way back across town to your mom's?"

"It's not all the way across town," Justin said, giving Brian a playful shove.

"Still, I'd rather take you back tomorrow some time."

Justin chewed his bottom lip. "I'd have to call her."

"I have a phone." Brian raised an eyebrow.

Justin looked down at his lap. "I don't know if I'm ready for… that."

"Sex?"

"Yeah."

"Okay… but why? I don't see the correlation."

Justin closed his eyes and sighed. "I don't understand it either, but any time someone tries to hug me or get too close it freaks me out."

Brian frowned. "But you haven't been that way with me," he said.

"When I was still in the hospital it wasn't as bad."

"Okay, but you can still stay here. I'll be on my best behavior. Promise."

"Are you sure?"

Brian rolled his eyes. "I'm asking, aren't I? Yeah, I'm sure."

The rest of the weekend passed with Brian and Justin enjoying lounging around the loft. Brian understood Justin wanting some peace and quiet after all the hubbub of the hospital.

He placed a kiss on Justin's nose when he dropped him off at his mom's Sunday evening.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" Justin asked, hoping he didn't sound as needy as he felt.

"If you want. I'll call you."

"Okay. Later." Justin got out of the Jeep.

"Later."

Jennifer was driving home from work on Monday, trying to decide what to fix for dinner when her cell phone rang. "This is Jennifer."

"Mom. Where are you? Justin's freaking out." Molly was obviously upset.

"Freaking out how? Is he having a seizure?"

"No, he's just mad or something. He's in his room and I can hear him throwing things around and screaming."

"Okay, sweetie. I'm almost home. You're sure it's not a seizure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I asked him what was wrong and he told me to mind my own business and to go play in the street."

Oh dear, thought Jennifer. "I'm pulling into the driveway now."

Jennifer threw the car in park and ran into the house.

"Justin," she called as she ran up the stairs. "Justin?"

The door to his room was open; Justin was standing in the middle of a mess of drawings, clothes and furniture that he had hurled about. His face was red with anger as he ripped a drawing into shreds.

"Justin. Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" he shouted at her. "What's wrong? What's right? My life is fucked. Hobbs saw to that."

"No, honey, that's not true."

"Yes. It is, Mom," Justin sighed and slumped down onto the bed. The anger seemed to leave him. "Without my art…" he trailed off.

"Why don't you rest, son. I'll fix us something to eat and you'll feel better." She wanted to go to him, but when she had tried that in the past he would pull away.

"Yeah, whatever." Justin flopped back onto his bed and covered his face with his hands. "But I'm not hungry."

Daphne had volunteered to drive Justin to and from physical therapy. As an outpatient he would go for one hour twice a week. The rest he was to do at home on his own. Most of his exercises now were to help with his dexterity so they didn't require special equipment or supervision.

Daphne had tried to convince Justin to go to lunch with her before his session but he kept making excuses until she gave up and instead brought lunch with her to the condo.

"I know," she said on the way back home after his therapy. "Let's stop by the mall. We can go to the food court and hang out like we used to."

"I really should get back home."

"Oh come on, Justin. It will be fun."

"I don't know, I'm pretty tired."

She sighed. "Okay. Maybe next time then."

"Yeah, maybe so."

"Are you going to Hobbs's trial next week?" she asked.

The color drained from Justin's face although Daphne didn't notice. "Um, I don't think so."

"I just hope they punish him," she went on. "But there's a rumor going around that his lawyer is pushing for probation."

"Daph. Can we not talk about this?"

"Huh? Oh. Sorry, Justin."

"S'okay, I know I shouldn't let it get to me."

"But it still does, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does."

Wednesday night Brian agreed to pick Justin up on his way home from work. Again he tried to get the blond to go to the diner and again Justin said he wasn't ready. So instead they went back to the loft and ordered in.

"We could go out to Woody's. Maybe shoot some pool?"

"I don't know," Justin was wary.

"There shouldn't be very many people there this early and on a weeknight."

"Okay, maybe just for a little while." Justin knew he had to start making an effort. He couldn't be a prisoner of his fear forever.

But once the Jeep pulled up in front of the bar the apprehension started to set in.

"Hey, it's okay, Justin," Brian said when he realized Justin was on the verge of a panic attack. "We don't have to do this."

"No," Justin said. "I want to. I mean I don't want to live this way. I want to get past this.

"Okay, but when you're ready to leave just say," Brian said.

"Yeah, okay."

They exited the Jeep and walked into the familiar hang out. Justin looked around. It looked eerily different and comfortingly the same all at once.

"Do you want to sit at the bar or at a table?" Brian asked.

Before Justin could answer someone recognized him. "Hey, you're that kid that was attacked. Did they catch the guy that did it?"

To Justin it seemed like hundreds of them closing in on him; in his face, crowding around. In reality there was only two or three and they really weren't crowding, just trying to show concern. Before Brian knew what was happening Justin had turned and bolted back out the door.

"Justin," he called as he followed him out.

The blond was standing by the Jeep trying to get his breathing under control.

"You okay?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, sorry."

"S'okay," Brian shrugged.

"No, it's not," Justin said with a sigh.

"Give yourself a bit more time. Come on, let's go home."

Justin tried to give Brian a smile. "Thanks."

"I just don't know what to do," Jennifer told Debbie over a piece of Vic's caramel crumb cake. "He has these terrible nightmares and when I try to comfort him it only makes things worse. And he has all this rage. Sometimes it scares me. I just want to help him and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do."

Debbie reached over and patted Jennifer's hands. "I'm sure it will get better with time."

"Will it? I'm not so sure."

"Wasn't there a counselor or something working with him in the hospital?"

"Only a couple of times. I don't imagine Justin was very cooperative," Jennifer answered.

"What about Brian, then?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Brian is the one Justin trusts. Maybe he can help him adjust. Have you talked to Brian about this?"

"I don't know, Debbie. I try to accept Brian and his part in Justin's life, but I'm not sure what he would be able to do," Jennifer said, just a little put out at the suggestion Brian could take better care of her son than she could.

"Well, don't mind me, you know my mouth is always getting me into trouble," Debbie said trying to smooth over any ruffled feathers.

Thursday afternoon Brian was in his office when Cynthia buzzed him. "Jennifer Taylor's here to see you."

"Send her in," Brian said, wondering why Jennifer would be showing up at his office.

"Jennifer," he said when Cynthia showed her in. "How are you?"

Jennifer sighed and took the seat Brian offered. "I'm exhausted, Brian, and I'm at a loss as to how to reach Justin." She wasn't up to small talk.

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"He has nightmares every night, but when I offer comfort he pulls away. He frequently goes into these fits of rage that scare Molly and leave me wondering if I will ever have my son back again."

"I didn't realize it was that bad," Brian said. "I knew he was having some issues, but he never told me…." He trailed off. "I'm not sure what there is I can do."

"I think he would get along better if he lived with you. He trusts you, he responds to you. I know I said I didn't want you to ask him to move back in with you, but I was wrong."

"Jennifer, I did ask him and he turned me down."

"Well, ask him again. You have to convince him, Brian. He needs you."

"I'm not sure I can convince him," Brian said softly.

"Will you at least try?"

"I'll talk to him, okay. That's all I can do."

Brian made plans to talk to Justin again that weekend. He would try to convince Justin that his reasons weren't out of guilt and that he truly did want to give the relationship a try; but before he had the chance to put his plan into motion everything came to a head.

Brian was awakened from a sound sleep that night by his cell phone ringing. "'Lo."

"Brian? Can you come over?" It was Jennifer and he could hear Justin shouting in the background.

"What's wrong? What's going on?" Brian tried to pull himself together to understand what was happening.

"Can you come over, please?" She sounded distraught.

"Yeah, I'm on my way." Brian jumped out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans.

He made it across town in record time. When he pulled into the driveway all the lights in Jennifer's condo were on. She was at the door before he even had a chance to knock. "He had another one of his nightmares but then he went into a rage. I didn't know what else to do."

"Where is he?" Brian asked.

Before she could answer he heard Justin swear and a loud crash come from upstairs.

"Mommy?" Molly cried from where she hid behind her mother.

"He's in his room," Jennifer said, her voice filled with defeat.

Brian took the stairs two at a time then stopped short in the doorway of Justin's room. The blond was sitting on the floor with his back to the door. The room was in total disarray. Justin picked up a shoe that had been lying on the floor next to him and started to throw it.

"Justin," Brian said, maybe a little more sternly than he had intended.

Justin froze then let the shoe drop from his hand. Brian walked in and sat down on the floor next to him.

"It's so fucked up, Brian," Justin whispered. "It's all so fucked up."

"I know," Brian said. "But we can fix it. It doesn't have to be this way."

"How? How can we fix this? How can I ever get past this?"

Brian laid his hand on Justin's shoulder. "I'm not sure, but we'll find a way."

"But I can't sleep without these horrid dreams. I can't draw, I'm scared of my own shadow and I can't even let you fuck me." Justin leaned against Brian's shoulder and sobbed.

Brian pulled him into his arms. "It won't always be this way. I promise."

"I'm such a mess," Justin said in between sniffles.

"Yeah, but you're a beautiful mess."

"Why do you even put up with me?"

"Because I care about you," Brian whispered in his ear.

Justin froze for a moment then began sobbing even harder.

"Hey, hey, hey… that was supposed to make you feel better."

"It does."

"Then why are you still crying?"

"I don't know," Justin said half crying and half laughing.

Brian chuckled. He pulled Justin's head back so he could look into the blond's eyes. "I want you to come home with me. I want you to pack up your stuff and come live at the loft. I can't promise it will be easy and I can't promise I won't get it wrong some of the time, but I can promise that as long as you want me to, I will be there for you."

"I'm scared," Justin whispered.

"So am I, but let's just take it one day, one night at a time. Okay?"

"Are you sure? It's not just because you feel sorry for me?"

"Justin, I was sure the night I came to your prom. Nothing since then has changed my mind. Come home with me, please."

"Okay, but we'll take it slow?"

Brian smiled. "As slow as you need."