Brian spent his second night at the hospital pacing the halls. He tired numerous times to sleep; each time his dreams would chase him back to consciousness. He was sitting outside the next morning, smoking a cigarette, when Michael arrived.

"Jesus, Brian. Have you slept at all? You look like shit."

"And a good morning to you too," Brian grumbled.

"How's Justin?" Michael asked.

Brian shrugged. "The same."

"Let me take you home, you can grab a shower and a nap then I'll bring you back."

"No."

Michael sat down beside him. "Brian it's okay for you to leave for a little while. Even Jennifer hasn't stayed here every minute."

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and shook his head. "You don't understand, Mikey. He wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me."

Michael frowned. He hated that Brian still blamed himself for Justin being attacked, but also knew he wouldn't convince his friend of anything today.

"At least come with me to the cafeteria and let me buy you breakfast then."

Brian raised an eyebrow, "Since when do you buy me food?"

Michael grinned. "Since today, okay?"

Brian nodded, "Yeah, if it will shut you up for a while."

"Come on, the food here isn't half bad," Michael said as they walked into the hospital.

"Yeah, that's what you say about the diner food, too. Just goes to show that there's no accounting for taste."

*****  

Jennifer was sitting at Justin's bedside. When Debbie stuck her head in. "How's he doing today?"

"The same as far as I can tell. The doctor hasn't been in to see him yet this morning."

"You hungry? I brought you a bagel and some coffee." Deb came in the room and handed Jennifer a brown bag and a mug.

"Thanks, Debbie. You're a dear. You didn't happen to see Brian out there did you?"

"No, I didn't. Why?"

"No reason. He probably went home to shower and change or something. I saw him pacing the halls last night around four… I just wondered…. He looked so…"

"Brian will be fine. You just worry about taking care of you and this one here," Debbie said. She was worried about Brian too, but Jennifer had enough on her plate as it was.

*****  

After eating breakfast, Brian and Michael took the elevator back up to Justin's floor. Brian looked in on Justin and found Debbie keeping Jennifer company.

"Has the doctor been in yet?" he asked.

"No, not yet."

Brian nodded and walked back out, sitting down in the hall next to Michael.

Michael watched his friend. He looked so tired, so beat. Brian's eyes would droop closed and just when Michael thought he was drifting off they would snap back open.

"Brian, why don't you try to sleep for a little bit? I can wake you if the doctor comes."

Brian shook his head. "I'm fine."

"You are not. You're a walking zombie. You need to sleep, Brian."

"I said I'm fine."

"Brian."

Brian turned and looked his closest friend in the eyes. "Do you have any idea what I see when I close my eyes, Mikey?"

Michael's face filled with surprise, then understanding. "Shit, I'm sorry Brian."

They sat in silence until Brian saw the doctor going into Justin's room. Debbie came out and sat down next to Michael. "Jennifer said she'd come tell us what the doctor said after he left."

A few minutes later Jennifer and the young doctor exited Justin's room. Brian stood and walked over to where they stood.

"The swelling is receding and his body is handling the fluid in his lungs," the doctor was saying. "We'll continue to monitor him, but it does appear he is beginning to emerge from the coma."

"You mean he's waking up?" Jennifer asked.

"Yes. Unfortunately coming out of a coma is seldom like you see on TV shows. It may take days, even weeks for him to regain consciousness, but he has started the waking process and that is a very good sign."

Jennifer nodded.

"Once he is awake we can begin assessing what, if any, damage was incurred and begin rehab."

"Do you think he has suffered brain damage?" Jennifer asked.

"It's hard to say. He received a severe blow to the head. I would expect to see some effects from that. How serious and whether they'll be permanent, we just won't know until Justin wakes up and tells us."

"Thank you, Doctor," Jennifer said. She sighed as the doctor nodded and left to finish his rounds. "Brian?" she asked. "Would you sit with Justin? I think I need to go get some air."

Brian nodded. He started to ask her if she was all right, but then he knew the answer to that question.

Jennifer patted Brian's arm. "Thank you," she said and walked off down the hall.

Brian turned to go into Justin's room.

"Where's she going?" Debbie asked. "What's going on?"

"She wanted to get some air. Maybe you should go with her."

Debbie nodded and went to find Jennifer.

*****  

"There you are," Debbie said when she finally caught up with Jennifer sitting on a bench in front of the hospital. "Want some company?"

Jennifer smiled weakly and nodded. Debbie sat down on the bench and waited. Jennifer would talk when she was ready.

Debbie didn't have to wait long. "The doctor said Justin's waking up."

"Really? That's great news," Debbie said.

"Yeah, it is. And I'm so relieved but I'm also scared out of my mind."

"Scared? What of, sweetie?"

"Of what we'll find out when he wakes up."

"Oh, honey, you have to have hope. Justin is strong and he's a fighter. He'll get through this," Debbie tried to reassure her.

Jennifer nodded. "But what if he's not the Justin we know? What if he has brain damage or his personality is altered? What if he requires around the clock care, Debbie? What will I do?"

"We'll all be incredibly sad and then we'll buck up and take care of him."

"Debbie, with all due respect, I appreciate your support. But he's my son and my responsibility. What if I can't afford to give him the care he needs? He'll go off his dad's insurance as soon as he graduates, Lord, if he can still graduate. I'd planned to carry him on mine, but all this will be a pre-existing condition." She was working herself up.

"Hey now, Jennifer, calm down. Don't drive yourself crazy with all the 'what ifs'. You can only take this stuff as it comes. But I'll tell you the one thing I do know as sure as I know my own name; you'll never be in this alone. You'll have our support and help. And as for Justin's care, if he needs any, I know that Brian will make sure Justin has whatever care he needs, so you don't even need to think about that."

Jennifer sighed. "You're right, I can't solve any problems before they arise."

"That's right, and you've got to think positive, dear. Justin's going to be just fine. You'll see."

*****  

Brian sat in Justin's room watching him sleep. Was it sleep? Not really. If he were sleeping then he could wake up. Justin was in some sort of limbo in between. The swelling was beginning to subside although the bruising wasn't. If anything Justin's skin was even a darker purple around his eye. But his features were beginning to show again; he was starting to look more like himself and less like a freak of nature. Brian thought that was at least something and there was movement behind his closed eyelids as if he were dreaming. Brian hoped the kid was having better luck with his dreams than Brian had been having.

That line of thought only caused him more grief. What if Justin was having the same nightmares Brian had been experiencing only not able to escape from them?

"Fuck," Brian muttered as he stood and began pacing around the room, once again beating himself up over going to Justin's prom. What had he been thinking?

"Brian?"

He jumped, startled by Jennifer's voice. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn't heard her enter.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

Brian ran his hand through his hair and sighed, "Yeah, just…"

She nodded; knowing probably as close as anyone what he was feeling. "You look exhausted. Why don't you go lay down and rest for a while?"

He started to point out that she looked equally tired but instead he simply nodded and left the room.

He heard voices as he walked down the hall. Sitting in their area, as he now thought of it, were Michael and Ted.

"Hey, Brian," Ted said when Brian sat down on the other side of Michael.

"Any change?" Michael asked.

"The swelling is starting to go down and he's dreaming," Brian said.

"Ma said the doctors think he's waking up."

"Yeah, that's what they said."

"That's great news," Ted said.

"Yeah, only unlike when you woke up from your coma he won't get to be entertained by my fucking a hot nurse in the next bed."

Michael's eyes grew wide. "You did not."

"Yeah," Ted answered. "He did. I thought I was in hell and that was my punishment; watching Brian Kinney fuck for all eternity."

"You should be so lucky. So where's your little boyfriend? Blain?"

"Blake, and he's not my little boyfriend."

"Whatever." Brian saw something in Ted's eyes. Something had happened but right now he really didn't care; couldn't care. Good ol' Mikey would have to deal with Ted and Blake's problems.

"I better go," Ted said, more to Michael than to Brian. "I just wanted to stop by and see how Justin was. You'll call me if there's any news?"

"Yeah, I'll call you," Michael answered.

"Bye Brian," Ted walked off down the hall, Brian didn't acknowledge that he had spoken.

Michael sat and watched Brian as his eyelids began to droop again until finally shutting. Brian's head tilted off to the side as he slept. Michael wished he could get Brian to go lay down; there was no way he'd be able to sleep for any time in the middle of a noisy hospital. But maybe his friend was exhausted enough that he would be able to catch an hour or two.

*****  

A little while later Jennifer looked out the window of her son's room and saw Daphne standing there. She motioned for her to come in.

Daphne opened the door. "I thought the doctor wanted to limit who was in here."

"He does, but come in anyway."

Daphne walked up to Justin's bed, her eyes brimming with tears as she looked at him. "How can one human being do this to another?" she whispered. She had always thought that Chris Hobbs was a jerk, but she would have never guessed he was capable of this.

"I don't know," Jennifer said. "Ignorance?"

"I brought you and Brian some food," Daphne said, finally looking away from Justin. "I left it with Michael. He's sitting down the hall with Brian."

"Thank you, dear. That was very thoughtful. Did you speak to Brian?"

Daphne shook her head. "He was asleep. Oh and my mom said to tell you if you need anything, you know, like with Molly or anything to let her know."

"I will, and tell her I appreciate it."

Daphne nodded. "I think I better go now." She bit her bottom lip, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I'll be back later, okay?"

"Okay, dear." Jennifer knew Daphne was about to fall apart and part of her wanted to reach out and help her, but Jennifer was barely holding herself together and if she tried to comfort Daphne she'd end up breaking down along with her.

*****

The doors to the elevator opened and just as Emmett was getting ready to step out he noticed Daphne standing there. She saw him and threw herself into his arms.

"Hey, ah, Daph," Emmett said as she collapsed against him. The elevator doors closed behind her.

"Oh, Emmett," she sobbed, "Why did this happen?"

"I don't know, sweetie, I just don't know." Emmett stood there wondering if Justin's condition had worsened, or God forbid he had died. "What's going on, Daphne? Did something happen?"

"No, I just… I hadn't seen him up close before now. I mean, his head's all black and blue and swollen up; and God, its just so awful. Last week we were talking about going to college and now he's lying in a hospital room in a coma."

The elevator doors opened again and they were back on the main floor. "Come on," Emmett said, walking her out, his arm still around her waist. "Let's go get you a tissue and a soda."

*****  

Michael glanced over again at Brian's sleeping form. He had been sleeping soundly, barely even moving for the last couple of hours but now he seemed to be dreaming. Brian mumbled something Michael couldn't make out and then suddenly his eyes popped open. "No," Brian said sitting straight up in his chair and looked about.

"Brian, hey. It's okay." Michael placed his arm around Brian's shoulders. "It was just a dream."

Brian's chest heaved as he tried to calm down. "No, it wasn't," Brian said and stood. "I'll be back."

Michael watched Brian walk down the hall, thinking he was going to check on Justin, but instead Brian went through the door to the men's restroom.

*****  

Brian walked over to the sink and turned on the faucet. After splashing cold water on his face he caught his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were gaunt and haunted, his skin pale and his hair was sticking up every which way. "Lord, I'm a mess," he said to himself.

He walked back out and sat back down next to Michael. "Sorry about that," he muttered.

"Daphne brought up some food," Michael said. "You want some?"

"No," Brian said. He stood back up and began pacing. "How long was I out?"

"A couple of hours."

Brian nodded. "I need to go check on Justin."

Michael nodded and watched Brian walk down to Justin's room. Brian opened the door and stuck his head in. Then came back to where Michael sat. "No change yet."

"They said it could take a few days," Michael reminded him.

Brian sat back down. "Michael?"

"Yeah?"

"What if he's fucked up? You know, really fucked up, drooling on himself, not able to talk or walk - that kind of fucked up. What will I do then? How will I be able to look him or his mother in the eye if I turned him into a vegetable?"

Michael put his hand on Brian's arm. He had no idea how to answer the question so instead he did just like his mother had told him. He was just there.

"I don't think I can handle this, Mikey. All I've wanted since… since he was on the pavement… All I wanted was for him to open his eyes. And now the doctor says that soon he'll wake up and I'm scared of what I'll see, what he will be. I don't think I can do it."

"Yeah, you can, Brian. You're the strongest person I know. You can do this."

"Fuck, why did I ever go to his fucking prom?" He stood up and began pacing again. "Hell, why didn't I leave him standing under that lamp post? No, I thought he looked sweet and then when he started stalking me I thought it was cute. Next thing I know he's worked his way in to all of our lives and become this permanent fixture. That was bad enough, but then I had to go and do something so stupid as to show up at his prom. I thought I'd make his night by surprising him there and look what the fuck it got me? I don't need this shit."

Michael let him ramble on; knowing Brian didn't mean any of what he was saying. Michael had witnessed the last few months and although he knew it would not be said, Brian Kinney had fallen in love.