<~> Brian’s POV <~>

I feel so exhausted this morning. I’ve been lying here awake for a while now, trying to get up the energy to think about what happened yesterday. I don't know if I'll ever have that much energy again though.

In the meantime, I'm watching the darkness outside the window slowly turn to grey and then to a pale blue. More fucking blue! We can’t even get away from it by looking at the sky? Well, at least that blue isn’t as dusty and muted looking as the blue on the walls. The blue coming through the window now has a tinge of morning gold in it that makes all the difference in the world.

And despite the disquieting presence of the ubiquitous blue, I feel soothed by the unmistakable warmth of the yielding body lying next to mine. My Hal. I could feel him there next to me all through the unhappy night. When he wasn’t consoling me with his muted caring words, he was soothing me with his touch, his fingers trailing lightly over my skin, caressing my face, rubbing comforting little runes onto my belly and even just lightly holding my hand. He must feel even more exhausted than me - I know I barely slept but every time I needed him he was there already. My fucking perfect Hal. I must have done something right at some point in my life to deserve such meticulous devotion. Either that or I'm even more delusional than my doctor suspects.

That unfortunate thought brings me right back to what I was trying NOT to think about, though.

So, precisely how delusional am I? Dr. Travis seems to think I'm not that delusional that I couldn't walk right out of this place. Lindsey and Michael, on the other hand, think I'm too delusional to see my son even for a short visit. I suspect the truth is somewhere in between. I mean, I know I'm at least delusional enough to have created My Hal - although if you're not delusional enough to think your delusion is real, is that really a delusion or maybe just a really good imagination? Hmmm? I might have to ask the doc about that particular quandary. Or, maybe not - it sounds like crazy drivel even to me.

If I'm not really crazy, then I could leave this place. I could live like a normal person and do normal things, even though I wouldn't really be completely normal, just normal enough not to seem exceptionally crazy. I guess that wouldn't be so bad. As long as I get to keep My Hal. I'm not going anywhere without My Hal, I don't care how fucking sane I am.

But then again, why am I even worried about My Hal? He's my hallucination. Wither I goest, so too shall he, right? Don't personal hallucinations go with the person doing the hallucinating? Would My Hal somehow simply cease to exist if I dared try and leave here? Or would he, for some reason, have to stay?

I ignore the niggling little doubting thought that tries wriggling into my consciousness right at this point. I know there's something I'm trying really hard not to think about, but I don't even let myself think about how I'm not thinking about it. Whatever it is, I don't want to know or even think about knowing. It's better if I just move on, quickly, to my next thought without even pausing here because that little worrying thought - which I just accidentally let myself remember has something to do with My Hal - is NOT a thought I want to deal with.

Now, where was I? Right, I was thinking about trying out being sane. All in all, being sane doesn't sound so bad. The way doc talked about it, it wouldn't be much different from how I am right now. I can do that. And, the best part is, if I were to be sane, I could see Gus. I might even find a lawyer who could make a court order Lindsey to let me see him. I really like that idea.

On the other hand, I'm not sure I'm ready to be sane, even if it's only really partially sane but otherwise controlled by medication. It's been a long time since I had to deal with sane people in the sane world. I have even begun to think that the insane people in my insane world are a lot saner than the outsiders. Everything is infinitely easier in here. Nobody expects too much from me. Nobody expects anything at all really which, after a lifetime of always seemingly being the one to blame everything on, has been quite refreshing. If I go back out there, there will be endless expectations, at least some of which I will fail to meet and then . . .

What? They'll throw me back in here? So what? We've already established that I don't hate it in here, so it wouldn't be that bad to have to come back, would it? Maybe it would, though, because then I'd have failed, again, and I'd have people who were expecting things of me that would be let down. But, again, I have to say, so what? I've already let them down once and everybody survived, right?

Okay, that is an unhelpfully circular train of thought and I need to get off it right fucking now.

In conclusion, I think it's been established that being sane doesn't sound so bad. Also, continuing to be crazy wouldn't be the end of the world. The only real difference being that if I stay crazy I'm not going to have much of a chance to keep Gus in my life. Oh, and, regardless of which way I go, I have to be able to keep My Hal.

"You always used to give ME shit about thinking too much, and now look at yourself," I hear My Hal whispering into my ear with his own simply perfect timing right as I'd come to the above conclusion.

"I wasn't thinking too much. I was thinking just the right amount," I explain, which causes him to let loose a melodious little giggle. "And, what I was thinking about was that I never, ever, want to do without you. You can't very well complain about that, now can you? You. You, too."

"Definitely not," My Hal agrees, sealing the pact by bestowing a kiss with his infinitely perfect lips on my ear.

If that were the only place he was kissing, then I might have gone back to my prior cogitation. Hal, though, did not stop there or anywhere close to there with his kisses. Propping himself up on his elbow, My Hal proceeds with his trail of kisses across my cheek, his lips touching just once on the tip of my nose, and then on towards my lips. And, upon reaching that destination, he thereafter devours my lips and mouth and tongue with a sheer abandon that I don't think even I could have imagined.

Fuck! His lips truly are the most kissable soft warm lips ever. His kisses soft yet firm. His quick little tongue darting out to taste and lick and explore. His straight white teeth nibbling along behind. I think I might possibly be content with nothing more than kissing for the entire rest of the day, it is so pleasurable.

My Hal, however, isn't going to be easily satisfied this morning. Before I've even begun to contemplate moving on past the delicious kissing, my boy's hands have begun to wander. First it's just that his fingertips are peeking up under the hem of the t-shirt I'm wearing. Then, they inch higher and higher, as if trying to reacquaint themselves with every inch of my stomach and chest. Then, while I'm still engrossed with the kissing lips, totally unsuspecting that the little imp has much more nefarious plans on my person, his hand darts up and pinches my nipple hard.

"Unhhhhh," I groan, just a bit too loudly considering I'm engaging in actions that are most certainly against the rules in a large communal room full of other sleeping men.

"Sssshhhhhh," My Hal hisses into my ear again, just as his hand finds its way to the other nipple. "You don't want us to get into trouble, now do you?"

"Uh un," is all I manage to grunt out while he turns back to biting at my lower lip in order to ensure my remaining mostly quiet.

It is at this stage of the proceedings that I completely fucking lose it! And it isn't even my fault! It is entirely all My Hal's fault. Really! I was NOT going to break the rules - or at least not beyond the kissing stage - and even then I had told Lily I would try my best. I have every intention of doing just that. My intentions, however, do not take into account my body's reaction when, at that exact moment, My Hal rubs his groin against my thigh and I feel his perfectly shaped cock, now harder than a diamond-tipped cement drill bit, pressing through the thin layers of our clothing.

Even his teeth biting into my lip aren't enough at that point to mute my ensuing moan. "Ahhhhhhh!"

That stupid, You, Gene, who was a couple of beds away even, complained loudly, "shut the fuck up over there already you two! If you're gonna fuck, go do it someplace else so we don't have to listen!" His complaints eventually fade away to disgruntled murmuring but even that interruption hasn't deterred My Hal.

"Fuck, Brian!" he hisses into my ear with an almost subsonic groan. "Oh my, fucking, Brian. Brian. Brian."

With every exhalation he is moaning my name and rubbing rhythmically against me, his leg now hitched up so that his thigh keeps making contact with my own turgid cock. My logical, reasonable self - which admittedly is only a small space about the size of a grain of rice and is hidden away deep inside my brain far below the much more pronounced area responsible for my libido - is piteously demanding that I stop this ridiculous display immediately. Luckily, what with My Hal's moaning and all, I can't hear those complaints at all. What I do hear, though, is my dick's demands that it be immediately, if not sooner, introduced to My Hal's bounteous bubble butt. Nine inches of fully hard cock versus a grain of rice? There is absolutely no contest there.

"Just . . . just . . . just in my . . . just in my . . . Justin! Would you fucking wait ten seconds already," says my cock, which is now controlling all of me including any still functioning brain cells and my vocal chords. "Wait, wait, wait. We can't do this here. We have to . . . We have to . . . We have to . . ."

Then, just as I am about to give in and let myself revel in the glorious frotting, a little lightbulb goes on in a remote section of my memory dedicated solely to remembering good locations for possible future fucks. Apparently, even when the rest of my brain is given over to general insanity and I haven't gotten any in so long I can barely recall what it felt like, this portion of my brain is still very active. Without my even realizing it, it has a ready made, mostly private, not too disgustingly dirty at least for fucking, location already mapped out for me.

"I, I, I know a, a, a place. I know a place," I pant out the words, trying to get through my companion's lust filled haze as well as my own. "Come on. Come on. Come ON!"

Less than thirty seconds before I would have shot my load regardless of the location or demeanor of the rest of my body, I manage to pull myself out from under My Hal, pull us both off the bed and then start running down the hallways to the deepest, darkest, least likely place they would think to look for us, holding tightly to Hal's hand and dragging him unceremoniously after me.

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<~> Daphne's POV <~>

I just could NOT wait anymore. This whole crazy scenario is driving me bananas. I have to know. It doesn't matter that I'm missing class this morning. I simply can't wait a single moment more.

So I get up at the crack of dawn and drive out to The Banks, pulling into their parking lot at 7:35. I've been sitting here in my car ever since, just waiting until the clock said 8:00 am. At 8:00, I am going to storm in there - fuck their damn visiting hours - demand to see Justin and find out for myself once and for all who his newfound friend and benefactor 'Brian' really is.

The blinking dots on the digital clock seem to noticeably slow down as I watch them and wait. At one point I'm sure the fucking clock must be broken because there is no way one minute could take that long to elapse. But, slowly, ever so slowly, the dots blink on and finally it is 8:00 am.

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<~> Ted's POV <~>

"I just hope this fucking works, Em," I say over my shoulder as we both trot up the walkway towards the front entrance of The Banks. "You should have seen Brian yesterday. He was so shattered. I thought that he was going to be more upset at what Lindsey was doing. I didn't even think about how he'd react to Michael's idiocy.”

"Well, of course, what Michael said would hurt worse than anything Lindsey could do, Teddy," Emmett shakes his head at me with disgust. “You really weren't thinking. You should have known that having his best friend betray him - the one person he'd trusted so much that he even gave him control over his entire life, money, everything - would be the thing to cause Brian the most pain. If you did something like that to me, I couldn't bear it!"

"You're right about that, Em. Brian did just about lose it. For about ten seconds I even thought he might hit me, and I probably deserved it for springing that shit on him without thinking. I really didn't mean for it to hit him like that though. But then somehow he pulled himself together at the last moment. I was so fucking proud of him. You could tell he was just barely holding it together and yet he managed to restrain himself a lot fucking better than some 'sane' people would have."

"Well, let's just hope that this affidavit shit your lawyer friend pulled together for Brian last night works," Em voices exactly what I am thinking as I hold open the door for him and we approach the reception counter together.

"Good morning, Mr. Schmidt. May I help you with something this morning," the insipid receptionist who always tries to flirt with me when I visit simpers at me.

"Yes, please. I know we're here about two hours before your visiting hours are supposed to start, but I have some legal documents that I need Brian Kinney to sign right away," I'm willing to beg, maybe even flirt with this broad if I have to. "Brian's lawyer is due in court first thing this afternoon, so I need to get these completed and delivered to his office as fast as I possibly can. So, please, would it be possible to meet with Brian just very, very briefly?"

"I'm sure we can arrange something for you. It does sound like an emergency," the simpering less-than-beauty replies. "Would you gentlemen like to wait in the lounge while I see if I can get someone to track your friend down?"

"Thank you SO much. I really, really appreciate this," I say, laying it on a bit thick in the hope that it might hurry her along. "Come on, Em," I lead the way to the third doorway on the right - the lounge - a place I'm already far too familiar with from my weekly visits.

The door to the room is already open when we get there, which isn't unusual, so I don't think anything about it. What does strike me as odd, is that there's already someone else waiting inside. That seems a bit strange, seeing as official visiting hours don't start until ten.

It isn't until Emmett follows me into the room and hollers out, "Daphne?" that I recognize the attractive young woman sitting on the ugly brown couch.

"Emmett? What are you doing here? Did you guys come to visit Justin? That's so nice of you," Daphne says with a big friendly grin as she gets up and walks forward to greet us.

"Justin? No, we're here to see Brian," Emmett replies and at that same exact instant we all figure it out.

"Justin's here? At The Banks?" I ask incredulously. "How long has he been here?"

"Like, two and a half years. How long has Brian been here?" Daph demands.

"Just a few months," I answer, noting thankfully that the faces of the other two show they are equally as awestruck at this revelation as I am.

"Brian and Justin have been here together for almost three months?" Emmett states the obvious. "How is that possible? Teddy, did Brian say anything to you about Justin being here? This makes absolutely no sense."

"No. Brian never said a word to me, Em. I'm at as much of a loss as you. If he'd seen Justin here, wouldn't he have said SOMETHING?"

"Fuck this," Daphne announces and starts marching towards the door. "I'm going to go find out what the hell is going on here."

Emmett and I look at each other, we both shrug and then follow along behind the adamant little brunette pittbull.

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<~> Justin's POV <~>

I'm barely coherent when Brian pulls away and jumps out of bed. For a fraction of a second I think I'm going to lose it anyway. Only the thought of the sheer ecstasy I will experience with Brian finally inside of me again gives me the strength to fight it back.

"Come on. Come on. Come ON!" Brian's demanding as he yanks my arm almost out of it's socket and hauls my ass after him. We run madly through the halls of the still sleeping hospital. Oops - there goes that rule too!

I'm about to call a halt to this wild goose chase that seems to be leading nowhere, when Brian pushes through a large double hung doorway into what appears to be the laundry room. It looks vaguely familiar. Not stopping there, though, Brian keeps going through a series of rooms that get smaller and more disorganized the deeper we go. I have no idea how he is able to find his way through this maze without turning on any lights, but he seems to know exactly where he's going. Just when I think we must have reached the final room, he pulls open one last door, almost hidden by a pile of old rusty equipment, and then drags me into the darkness beyond.

I'm not in the least surprised or upset when Brian immediately slams me up against the wall as soon as the door shuts behind us. He pounces on me like we've been kept apart for decades and not just a couple of minutes. I'm all in favor of pouncing, though. If I wasn't pinned bodily to the wall, I'd have been doing the pouncing myself.

Our mouths come back together and I'm sure, if you listened closely enough, you could hear the suction sound we make when we meet.

I think I could devour him whole. I'm starving and Brian is my only sustenance. My brain has already short-circuited out and I'm just blindly groping at him with my mouth and my hands and everything else on down to a cellular level. Every single part of me wants him so badly it hurts.

Somehow, while I wasn't paying attention, Brian must have found the light switch. I dimly notice that we're in a largish closet occupied by only one rickety looking metal table and piles and piles of cardboard boxes overflowing with clothing. It's not exactly the kind of place I'd fantasized about when contemplating a reunion with my long lost lover, but I'll take it. Frankly I'm just too horny to give a damn where this happens so long as it happens soon.

In less than a heartbeat, it seems, we're both rid of the loose clothing we'd been dressed in for bed. Brian walks me backward until I'm pushed up against the edge of the old table. Hey, it's a horizontal surface - it'll work. With just a shimmy, my ass is up on the slick cold surface and I'm pulling Brian down over me as I lie back. The heat of his body on top of me contrasts sharply with the icy cold metal against my back. Either that, or maybe the plain fact that I'm about to be fucked by Brian, causes me to shiver.

"Lost and found. Lost and found. I found you in the lost and found," Brian's singing as his lips trail wetly over the flesh of my chest and stomach. My hands clench in his fine, soft, auburn hair, and I struggle not to pull him back up to my already lonely lips.

Brian's tongue tastes along the rim of my belly button and then plays a bit in the hairs that lead from there in a direct line to my needy cock. The sensations are building so rapidly again that I don't know how I'll be able to wait the mere seconds it might take till he reaches his intended destination. Luckily, my cock takes the initiative and jumps up right into the path of Brian's tongue so I don't have to wait at all.

It's been so long. So, so, very long. Way, way, too long. As soon as I feel Brian's warm slippery tongue glide over the swollen head of my painfully hard dick, I'm already there. Brian sucks me in, engulfing me in heavenly warmth, mere seconds before I scream out his name and pour myself into his mouth.

"Brian! Fuck! I love you, Brian. I love you! Oh, fuck!"

Considering those are the first words I've spoken louder than a whisper in fuck knows how many months or years, I think they're a pretty apt expression of my life and the sum total of my sentiments.

<~> Brian's POV <~>

"Brian! Fuck! I love you, Brian. I love you! Oh, fuck!"

My Hal's voice sounds odd as he yells out my name at the very instant he shoots his thick creamy jizz down my throat. I guess I'm just not used to hearing him speak out loud. I like it though. His raspy, unused, tenor sounds exactly right. His cum tastes exactly right too. His skin smells just right, he tastes just right and his enthusiasm as I suck him dry is perfectly right too! My Hal. My Hal. My hallucination and I think I'm doing a damn good job at it!

I don't think he's even done shooting when he again starts crooning at me. "Don't stop. Don't stop, Brian. I want you inside me. I want you so badly it hurts. Please, Brian. Please fuck me. Fuck me, now!"

The only thing that gives me any pause is that I have no supplies whatsoever with me. I don't think the people that run the nuthouse ever really thought about the possibility that I might find myself in need of a condom while I was breaking all the rules and fucking my imaginary lover in the closet of the laundry room. That eventuality never crossed my mind either. I'm just about to apologize, pull away and explain to my partner that we have to stop now, when the ridiculousness of the situation strikes me.

It's My Hal. My Hal. My imaginary lover. I don't need any fucking condoms, do I? Do I? Why do I still have this strange doubt. No, I can't. I can't do it. I can't. I can't. I can't.

"It's okay, Brian," My Hal says. I guess he understood my hesitation. "I haven't been with anyone, Brian. No one! And I'm sure I've been tested since being in the hospital. It's okay. I want this, Brian. It's okay. Really."

That sounds odd to me. My Hal. MY Hal. Of course he hasn't been with anyone. What am I thinking? And I haven't been with anyone since . . . I'm thinking back and I can't remember anyone since before I was in the hospital when I OD'd. That CAN'T be right? Can it? I really haven't fucked anyone in almost three years! Fucking shit! If I hadn't been there and seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't think it was possible. But it's got to be because it's true. Wow! I feel amazed and relieved.

"You . . . You're okay, right? Brian?" My Hal is asking with sincere concern.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine, My Hal. I haven't been with anyone in a long time either. My Hal. My just . . . just, just, just in my heart. Just in my heart. Just in my memory. It'll be just you. Only you. You. You. And I'll be true. Only you, My Hal." I emphasize my commitment with the most tender kiss I'm capable of, just to make sure he knows how much this truly means to me.

"Brian," My Hal sighs and smiles a glorious Sunshine smile up at me.

I reach out and lightly trace over those succulent lips with my index finger. They are the most perfect lips ever conceived. Then his quick pink tongue pokes out and expertly guides my finger inside. His lips close and he's sucking on my finger, pulling it deeper into his mouth with his wet tongue. The tiny pulling sensation is echoed in my groin, reminding me of my purpose.

I pull that finger out of his mouth and have to chuckle at the happy little popping noise it makes as it comes free. My Hal's smile only gets bigger and bigger then, as his legs fall open and I purposely move my nicely dripping finger downward until it's circling at the tightly puckered folds of muscle around his sweet little hole. My Hal mewls appreciatively as I slowly push in, gently and patiently stretching him open until I know he's ready for me. His body is so unbelievably responsive. Even just finger fucking him I can tell he's so alive now. Alive and eager and open for me. Only me. Only me.

"Now, Brian. Please," he's whimpering now, bucking his hips at me in supplication. I spit into my palm and quickly use my saliva as lubricant for my over-ready cock.

"I'm here. I'm here, my love," I breath against the exquisitely soft skin of his long supple neck as I line myself up and then slowly and methodically push inside.

I'm holding on to his delicate hips with both hands as I sink deeper and deeper into the velvety warm core of his being. "Ohhhh. I never . . . I never even . . . ever dreamed . . . so, so, so good," I can't get to the words I know are waiting somewhere in my brain to describe this sublime experience. By the look on his face, though, I think he's hearing and feeling what I can't seem to say.

This isn't like anything I've ever experienced before. His body just keeps drawing me into him over and over again. I feel like I'm losing myself inside him at the same time I'm finding something I thought was forever lost. Maybe, I think, there's never before been anything that could compare to this feeling.

As I drive into My Hal again and again, I'm amazed, excited and comforted by the perfection we make up together. And suddenly I know exactly why this feels so perfect. This isn't all new. It's not really beyond my experience. In all actuality it's the underlying familiarity that makes the new twists so heartbreakingly perfect. It's perfect because I've taken what I have always wanted but thought I'd lost. I thought this feeling in my heart was gone, but I've somehow found it and myself again.

"I thought you were gone. I thought I'd lost you. You were broken. And then you were just, just, just. Just in my head . . . Just in my head . . . Just in my fucking head! Oh fuck! Oh! Just. Just. Justin!"

My mind explodes at the same time my body shoots wave after wave of my cum inside him. "Justin," I scream, no longer scared of the memory or the name, "Justin, I love you! Oh fuck! I love you. I love you. I love you!"

*Creeeek*

"Lupita said she saw them down here, and thought they were looking for more clothes for 'Hal'," Lily's friendly and familiar voice states as she pulls open the door to the Lost and Found room. "I'm sorry it's taking so long to find them."

I'm shooting my last, as deep inside my lover's ass as I could possibly get, and he's stroking his own cock which happens to blow right then, just as the four familiar people walk unsuspectingly into the tiny room and find exactly who they were looking for.

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