JUSTIN

I went to the address Brian gave me but no one was home. I called my agent, Thomas, to see if he could find out where the girls worked, hopefully Lindsay work in a gallery, because Thomas knew people here.

“Justin, I called around to the larger galleries but no one seems to know Lindsay Peterson.  There is a Melanie Marcus working at a firm where you are. Patrick Allen is the owner, so you could go there.” He tells me.

“Do you know him?” I ask him.

“He’s been to a couple shows in New York, but I’ve never really talked to him.” He tells me.

“Hopefully Mel is there.” I tell him.

“Why are you helping the guy?” He asks me.

“I'm helping Gus, not Brian. “ I tell him.

“Daphne is going to kill us, you know.” He tells me.

“Just don’t tell her.” I tell him.

“Trust me, I'm not. I still want a chance with her.” He tells me.

Thomas needs to stop being such a pushover when it comes to Daphne.

“Instead of hinting, ask her out, she’s the kind of girl you have to use the direct approach with.” I tell him as I get in my car.

“I'm working on it, but she's going to have my balls if she finds out I'm helping you help the enemy.” He tells me.

“He's not the enemy.” I tell him.

“I'm a dead man, cause she told me if you defend Brian in any way, he's got an in with you.” He whines.

“He’s Jacob's father. I can't not let them know each other now. That horse has already escaped the barn.” I tell him.

“I just wanted a date, now she's going to kill me.” The Drama Queen tells me.

“Thomas, shut up.” I hang up on him.

When I got to the law firm, they told me Mel was in a meeting. I asked if I could wait. The receptionist told me it would be about an hour. I told her I would wait. I was sitting around reading the boring magazines, when I heard Mel talking to someone. The receptionist told her I was there and she walked over to me.

“My God Justin, it’s been years. How have you been?” She asks me.

“Good, just thought I would look you up.” I tell her.

“Come to my office and we can talk.” She tells me.

I follow her to her office and sit in the chair in front of her desk.

“So tell me, what you've been doing?” She tells me.

“Mel, I didn't come to tell you about me. I came here to find out why you won’t let Brian see Gus.” I tell her.

“Because Gus is my child, and if Brian sent you here, you can leave.” She tell me.

“I'm not leaving until you tell me why you and Lindsay forced Brian out of Gus’s life. “ I tell her.

“Why do you even care, you left him?” She asks me.

“Did he do something to make you keep him away?” I ask her. Ignoring her question.

“He isn't the kind of influence I want for MY SON. You want to know what it's been like since you left?” She tells me.

“Sure, since you seem to want to avoid answering me.” I tell her.

“Brian comes around and causes chaos to everyone's life. Lindsay and I end up fighting about Gus, and Brian thinks he has a say. I finally got tired of him interfering in my family. He signed away any rights he had, I just made sure he couldn't have contact when he wouldn’t listen and stay away.” She tells me

“It doesn’t matter to you that Gus might want his father around?” I ask her.

“Like I told Gus, Brian gave up him up.” She tells me.

“That’s not what happened Mel and you know it.” I tell her.

“It got him out of my life and that's all I care about. Don’t get caught up in his shit, you’ve been out of it too long to be sucked back in. Brian destroys people and thinks he can just swan around without anything touching him. I got tired of him thinking got away with everything he did.” She tells me.

“It doesn’t mean you punish Gus.” I tell her.

“Justin, when you left, he ruined Michael’s relationship with Ben. When Lindsay cheated on me, he helped her get a lawyer to sue me for custody of my daughter. I had to share my child like she was a toy with Michael and Lindsay. I got tired of him causing issues in my marriage. I moved my family away and he was still causing us problems.” She tells me.

“By wanting to see his son?” I ask her.

“By making Lindsay want to go back to Pittsburgh, so she could have ‘Peter’ solve everything. Lindsay had to make a choice, me or Brian and she chose me. My only condition was that we get Brian out of our lives.” She tells me.

“Wait, Michael is your daughter’s father?” I ask, because Brian didn’t tell me that.

“It sure as hell wouldn’t have been Brian.” She tells me.

“He’s fine with what you did?” I ask her.

“Why wouldn’t he be? After Brian made it seem like they were headed for a relationship, he tossed Michael aside.” She tells me.

“So all of you decided that Brian couldn’t see his son, for something which had nothing to do with any of you.” I tell her.

“Gus doesn’t need the slut of Liberty Avenue teaching him to trick.” She tells me.

“No, just parents who don’t care that he would be hurt. I mean you and Lindsay fuck around on each other so it must be Brian who caused it. Michael wanted Brian, but who the fuck cares that he was with Ben, or that I was with Brian at the time. Let’s punish Brian and his children, because we were all hurt. You know what, we are all shitty people to think we deserve our kids.” I tell her.

“What are you talking about his children?” She asks me.

“When I left, I did what you did, took his child away and left Brian out of my son’s life.” I tell her.

“Be smart and keep your kid away from him too.” She tells me.

“Actually it was probably the most selfish thing I ever did. Of course my son wasn’t left thinking that he was worthless to his other parent, so you win the asshole award for that one.” I tell her.

“I did what was best for MY FAMILY.” She snaps at me.

“No, like me you did what you wanted, not what was best, but I can see talking to you is a waste of time. I hope Gus forgives you when he finds out one day. What's Gus going to think of you making Brian stay away. You can't stop Gus when he turns eighteen and goes to find out the truth. I don’t see Brian lying to him about what you and Lindsay did.” I tell her.

“By then hopefully Brian’s lifestyle will catch up with him, so who know’s if Brian will be alive to answer the questions.” She tells me.

I decide to let them figure out Gus isn’t in Canada on their own. I need to let Brian tell me what I didn’t want to hear and hope he forgives me for what I did to him. I get up to leave and Lindsay comes in the office with Michael and a little girl.

“Justin, what are you doing here?” She asks me.

“Wasting my time.” I tell her.

“Daddy who’s that?” The little girl ask Michael.

“No one you need to know.” He tells her glaring at me.

I got up and walked past them, but Michael had to get his jab in.

“He should have left you on the ground.” He tells me.

“It still wouldn’t have changed that he didn’t want you.” I tell him.

“Fuck you.” He tells me.

“Not even if I was in a coma.” I tell him.

I left the building, but of course Lindsay followed me.

“Justin, what’s all that about?” She asks me.

“It’s about people who claimed to love Brian turning on him.” I tell her.

“I had to make a choice. Brian was never going to give me what Mel would.” She tells me.

“Mel couldn’t give you what Brian did, so it’s all evened up now.” I sneered at her.

“Justin, you left him too.” She tells me.

“It just makes me feel marvelous being lumped in with you and the assholes in there. Do me a favor and get the fuck back to your family, because you and Mel are such wonderful mothers.” I tell her.

Sitting on the plane back to Pittsburgh, I wonder why they never got the message about Gus I left.  

MICHAEL (Two days earlier)

“Michael can you check the messages?” Lindsay asks me.

“Leave a message”

“Hey, it’s Justin…” Delete.

Like we need him coming back around again.

BRIAN

Justin called me when he landed and asked if we could talk. I told him to meet me at the loft. He walked in but instead of sitting he wandered around like he was avoiding me.

“What did they say when you told them about Gus?” I ask him.

“I couldn’t tell you.” He tells me, looking at things on my desk.

“Mel and Lindsay told you you couldn’t, didn't they?” I ask him.

“No, I decided since they don't know he's missing, I wasn’t going to tell them.” He tells me.

“I thought you called them?” I ask him.

“I did, but maybe they haven't checked their messages.” He tells me.

Justin started fidgeting with the pens on my desk. He started looking for something.

“Did you need something?” I ask him.

“Yes, but I don’t know what to say to you.” He tells me.

“Just say whatever it is you want to say.” I tell him.

“I don’t like myself right now.” He tells me.

“Okay.” I tell him, confused at where he's going with this.

“Before I make an idiot of myself, I’m ready to listen to you.” He tells me.

“You're willing to let me tell you what happened?” I wanted to make sure.

“Yes.” He tells me.

“You remember when you let the cat out of the bag, about Ben and me?” I ask him.

“I was really tired and not thinking.” He tells me.

“Justin, that wasn’t your finest hour, but it led to what happened.” I tell him.

“I remember Michael trying to pretend he didn’t care.” He tells me.

“Trust me, he cared. He spent the next week avoiding Ben and generally acting like Ben cheated on him with me. I got tired of Michael acting like it should matter anymore. I showed up at the comic shop to talk him and he was still being shitty about the whole thing. I figured if he wanted to know what being a trick to me is like, I’d show him. I came back in the door and started doing what I did when I tricked with guys. I thought he would stop me, but instead he let me keep going. I finally pulled away when it seemed like he wanted to finish what I started. I never thought it would get any further than him realizing that having Ben was better than being a trick. I left him standing in the shop still dressed and to me nothing worse than a kiss.” I tell him.

“Where did you go after that, I tried to call you?” He tells me.

“I went out drinking, ended up on Deb’s couch.” I tell him.

“Why did Ben and Michael break up, if that was all that happened?” He asks me.

“Because Michael took it to mean that I was open for more. When you left, I didn’t tell anyone you left me, just that we wanted different things. Michael took that to mean I wanted him and told Ben what happened at the comic shop. Then told Ben that he wanted a chance to see if he and I could make a go at a relationship. Ben walked out and came to tell me to grow up.” I tell him.

“Is that all? I saw Michael too, and he wasn’t very welcoming.” He tells me.

“I told Michael why I did it. He still wanted us to try, but I finally told him that I don’t love him the way he wants me to. We haven’t been friends since then.” I tell him.

“So everyone turned on you?” He asks me.

“Ted and Emmett are still around. Emmett is still friendly with Michael, but told us he isn’t going to play sides. Ted and Michael really don’t talk anymore, only because Michael didn’t want Ted working for me.” I tell him.

“What about Deb and Vic?” I ask him.

“I didn’t want to Deb to have to choose sides either, she’s still there for me, but Michael is her son. Justin, Vic died.” I tell him.

“When did Vic die?” He asks me.

“A couple years after you left.” I tell him.

“I didn’t know.” He tells me.

“He lived longer than he thought he would. Don’t feel bad that you didn’t know.” I tell him.

“Brian, I owe you an apology.” He tells me.

“Justin, you know I think apologies are bullshit.” I tell him.

“I just hope you can forgive me for doing what Mel and Lindsay are doing.” He tells me.

“Which is?” I ask him.

“Keeping your child from knowing you.” He tells me.

“I have to be honest, I’m not thrilled you didn’t tell me.” I tell him.

“I was hurt and didn’t think about anyone but myself. I realized, listening to Mel, that I was doing the same thing to you. I just want you to know that I never said anything bad about you to him.” I tell him.

“Are you going to let me get to know him?” I ask him.

“Yes, and if you want me to stay away, I’ll do that too.” He tells me.

“I’d like you to give us a chance to raise our son together. I’m not saying we get back together, just not rule it out. I need to know that you aren’t going to run off every time you get upset. I don’t want to even consider a relationship if you and I can’t trust each other.” I tell him.

“Brian, I don’t even live here anymore.” I tell him.

“I can live anywhere, Justin. I just want to know my children and see if we could make it work this time.” I tell him.

“I can’t be in a relationship with you and other people.” He tells me.

“This time it will just be us.” I tell him.

“We still have to figure out what to do about the Gus situation.” I tell him.

“My lawyer told me to let him handle it. He thinks Canada’s children's services will be interested that Gus has been missing for almost a week and the girls haven’t reported it.” I tell him.

“Brian, it’s like they don’t even know.” I tell him.

“Maybe Gus could tell us why.”  I tell him.