The entire cab ride home from the mall, Justin felt as though his stomach would explode from nerves. This was probably going to be the hardest conversation he’d ever have, and although he’d been preparing himself for it all day, he didn’t think he’d ever be quite ready for it.

He took a deep breath before he unlocked the door to their apartment, smiling sadly at Ethan who was sitting on the couch waiting for him.

“I got you a beer.”

“Thanks,” Justin said, gratefully accepting the much-needed drink from Ethan.

They sat in silence for what seemed like forever but was probably no more than a minute or two. Neither of them wanted to be the one to say the actual words, that they were done – that this was over.

“Shit, Justin. This is so fucking difficult.”

“I know,” Justin nodded, as he rubbed at his eyes tiredly. “

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“I'm sorry, Ethan, I'm just so sorry.” Justin was the first to cry. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed the tears to go away, but once the first slid down his cheek, the rest followed freely, and he was crying, weeping silently; his whole body shaking as he cried into his hands. “I just don’t know how this happened… I thought…I thought this was it.

Ethan crumbled at the sight of Justin crying beside him, closing the gap between them he pulled Justin into his arms. “Me too,” he said sadly, dropping a kiss on Justin’s head.

“I don’t know how this happened. What did we do wrong?” Justin sobbed.

“Nothing,” Ethan promised him. “Neither of us did anything wrong. We just…we fell out of love.”

Justin lifted his head from Ethan’s shoulder, “But I still love you.”

“I know you do. And I still love you, but we’re not in love anymore.”

Justin nodded. He knew Ethan was right; they’d fallen out of love a while ago, but they had both been plodding on as though nothing was wrong. But it still fucking hurt.

“I don’t know when it happened, or why it happened – maybe we got together too young? Maybe we were just not meant to be? But, what I do know is that we had seven amazing years together, and I’ll always be thankful for that, Justin.”

Justin wrapped his arms around Ethan tightly; as he tried to reassure him that he felt the same way. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he needed to say, but he couldn't find his voice. Every time he tried to speak he just cried harder.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Ethan whispered. “I know.”

They sat on the couch curled up in each other’s arms for over an hour, neither saying anything, but after seven years together, words weren't necessary. They both knew what the other was thinking and feeling and that was enough to comfort them both.

Justin broke the silence first, his voice hoarse from crying. “What now?”

“I think I'm going to stay with Brooke from work for a bit, just until I can find an apartment of my own.”

“You don’t have to move out… you can stay here until you find somewhere.”

Ethan smiled warmly, “I know I can, but I think it’s for the best.”

Justin nodded his head in agreement. “I know.”

“I'm going to miss you,” Ethan told him quietly.

“Me too.”

It was then, that Dowager decided to make her presence known. Hopping up onto Justin she curled up comfortably in his lap and nuzzled his fingers until he got the hint and stroked her.

“You’re such a demanding little lady,” he told the cat as he reached for a tissue to blow his nose. All that crying and his allergies seemed to have turned him into a sniffling mess.

Lifting Dowager into his arms Justin rubbed their noses together, causing him to sneeze three times in quick succession. “I'm going to miss you, yes I am, yes I am.”

“I was actually thinking about that,” Ethan said, as he handed Justin a tissue. “I think… I think she’d be happier here – with you.”

“But she’s yours,” Justin tried to argue.

“I may have rescued her, but she’s never been mine, you’ve always been her favourite.” Ethan explained. “She tolerates me.”

Justin would have argued the case, but Ethan reached out and attempted to stroke Dowager. The cat swatted him away with her paw and hissed at him. “Point taken,” he laughed.

Silence once again filled the room. “This is so weird.”

“What is?” Ethan asked.

“Us. We just broke up. I ugly cried for a bit about it and now...now we’re laughing at how much your cat hates you.”

Ethan smiled, “It’s not that weird. We just...We just know this is the right move for us. We’re accepting it and moving on. By talking about how much Dowager hates me.”

Justin felt his eyes soften and he bit his lip before putting his forehead to Ethan’s, “We can...we can still be friends, maybe?”

Ethan’s eyes mist over a little, “Maybe. I think we can manage that someday. It just might take some time for us to get there.”

And it’s hard, spending those last moments with Ethan, helping him pack up some of his things. But for the first time in over a year, he actually feels in tune with him.

***

By the time Justin got home from work he was utterly exhausted. He’d hardly slept the past couple of nights and it was beginning to take its toll on him.

The apartment felt so much bigger without Ethan, which was strange seeing as he was a minimalist to the extreme and could pretty much live out of his duffel bag. But, the piles of sheet music on the coffee table, the music stand (that was always in the fucking way) and the little packets of sunflower seeds that he was always eating (and then leaving in random places), they were all gone.

He sighed heavily as he dropped his bag by the front door and settled himself on the couch. His phone buzzed against his leg and it took all of the energy he had left to pull his phone out from his pocket.

Hope you’re okay. Call me if you want to hang out. Love you xxx

The text from Daphne was pretty much the same thing she’d been sending him for the last couple of days and it’s not that he didn't appreciate it, but he didn’t want the company. He needed to learn to be by himself, which is something he’d never had to do before.

“Meow,” Dowager greets as she walked into the room and sat by his feet.

“You’re still here, aren't you?” Justin murmured as he bent down to pick up the white cat.

Dowager purred and lightly tapped his hand with her paw, claws in and with only love. A rarity when it came to anyone else but Justin.

***

“Hey, hun, did you have a nice break?” Kathy asked sweetly, as Justin walked back into the physio department after his lunch.

Smiling back as best he could, he nodded his head. He didn't want to tell her the truth. That it had sucked. That he’d eaten lunch by himself in his car as he watched the snow fall heavily outside. That the thought of sitting in the staff room with people he hardly knew made him feel physically sick. That the only person he wanted to see was Brian, and that scared the shit out of him.

“It was fine, thanks.”

“Good,” she smiled back. “You have ten minutes until Brian, and you’re three o’clock has cancelled. “Go take your coat off and warm up hon.”

Sighing heavily, Justin nodded his appreciation and made his way to his office, removing his sodden jacket along the way. He really needed to invest in something more water resistant as the short walk alone from the car to the hospital had caused snow to seep through and dampen his scrubs.

“Shit,” he muttered, as he rummaged around the supply closet for an extra set of scrubs to change into –suddenly remembering that he’d taken them home to wash and hadn't yet brought them back. Luckily his pants were fine, but his shirt was pretty much soaked through, sticking to his body uncomfortably.

As he reached for a towel to dry himself off, there was a knock at his door.

“Justin, Brian’s here. Shall I send him in?” Kathy called out, her shrill voice sending shivers down his spine.

He doesn't answer, just opened the door and greeted them both with a barely there smile. “Come on in, Brian.”

Brian hobbled past Kathy into the room; his clothes drenched with snow also.

“Be careful,” Justin warned, “the floor’s wet.”

He watched as Brian propped his crutches against his desk and stuck his good arm out towards him. “Help me?”

Justin smirked, knowing full well the man didn’t need any assistance; he took his arm anyway and walked him towards the treatment table. “Lie down.”

Hesitating for a second, Brian lies down and turned his head so that was facing Justin.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Justin said as he washed his hands – twice.

“You sure?” Brian asked gently, the concern evident in his voice.

How does he know something’s wrong?

“Honestly, I'm fine.”

I need to tell him.

“If you want to talk, I'm here,” Brian offered.

Justin nodded his thanks. He could tell Brian knew he wasn't being honest, that he wasn't alright, but he appreciated him not pushing him to talk. Just knowing the offer was there was enough to put a small smile on to his face. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Neither said anything for the next couple of minutes as Justin sat on the stool next to the treatment table going over Brian’s notes. “We broke up.”

Brian jumped at the sound of his voice. “What?”

“We broke up. Ethan and I, we broke up,” Justin told him. He stood slowly and nodded towards Brian’s knee. “I'm going to take a look, okay?”

“Sure,” Brian said, as he began to pull his pant leg up, only for his hands to be pushed away. “I’ll do it.”

Justin could feel Brian’s eyes on him as he started working on his leg.

“Are you… are you okay?”

Looking up, he met Brian’s gaze, surprised to find the man looking at him with such concern and care. Justin sighed and looked away.

“No. Not really. It...It was time, but it’s still hard.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

Brian nods, hissing briefly as Justin massaged a particularly tight knot out of his muscle.

“I recently…ow…”

“Sorry,” Justin apologised.

“I recently got out of a relationship too.”

Justin isn't sure why, but this news surprised him. Who would willingly give up someone like Brian Kinney? Especially when he looks like he does right now, his shirt sticking to him like a second skin, hair damp and tousled. Looking like some kind of god.

“Oh!”

Oh? Really, that’s all you can say?

Brian smiled up at him affectionately, “it’s okay… I wasn't – I wasn't expecting it when it happened, so it sort of – threw me, you know? But if it makes you feel any better, I know how you feel.”

It does make him feel better. That may make him feel like a dick but it also makes him feel like less of a failure.

“Thanks.”

“Men, huh? Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Brian remarked with subtle sarcasm.

This was what he needed, to laugh, to smile and to realise that just because he is no longer with Ethan, life doesn't have to come to some sort of standstill. He shouldn't feel guilty for enjoying himself. He won’t feel guilty for enjoying himself. It was obvious that Brian was going out of his way to try and make him smile and that was a whole new experience for Justin, but definitely something he could get used to.

Justin laughed as he continued working on Brian’s leg. “Ain’t that the truth.”

The two men concentrated on the exercise and stayed quiet for a minute. Brian was the one to break it after Justin began to stretch the knotted muscles in his leg.

“Gus wouldn't stop talking about you after you left the other day,” Brian told him teasingly.

Justin smiled at that, “Really? What did he say?”

“That you were ‘one of the most funnest people’ he had ever met.”

Justin could feel his cheeks getting hotter by the minute, “Aw, he really said that?”

“He really did. “

“He’s really cute.”

“I think so too,” Brian said proudly.

“Sit up for me,” Justin asked, as he helped Brian up, bringing his legs over the side of the table and sitting down on a stool in front of him. “Push against my hand,” he asked, before continuing on with his previous conversation. “Do you get to see him much?”

“Not as much as I like,” he admitted.

Justin could sense how guilty Brian’s answer was making him feel. “I'm sure you see him as much as you can.”

Brian nodded, “Yeah I try to. I know I need to stop working so late. He’s in bed most nights by the time I'm finished.”

“He’s a smart kid,” Justin told him. “He knows you love him. Trust me on that.”

“Thank you,” Brian smiled, his face lighting up at the praise Justin gave him.

“Okay, can you stand up for me?”

“Without my brace on?” Brian asked nervously.

“Give me your hands.”

He’ll say no, what the fuck am I doing? He doesn't need me to hold his hands.

Brian stood, keeping his injured knee just off of the floor as he reached for Justin’s hands.

“Now try and put a little weight on it for me,” Justin asked, as he held Brian’s hands.

“Ah!!! Fuck me…”

Gladly…WHAT?

“This hurts.” Brian moaned, as his leg shook from the effort

“I know, I'm sorry,” Justin said as he looked at him guiltily. “It will do.”

“You couldn't have maybe… warned me?” Brian laughed softly, as he breathed through the pain.

“Now, where’s the fun in that?” Justin laughed back, his hands gripped Brian’s tightly.

“I can’t straighten my leg.”

“That’s normal after your type of injury. All the exercises we’re doing from now on will be working towards that.”

“Okay.”

“Now you’re going to really hate me.”

Brian winked at him. “I don’t think so.”

Fuck!

“I think you may change your mind in about twenty seconds,” he teased. “I want you to try and rise up and down on your toes for me.”

“Ah! Okay, this one isn't too bad.”

Justin squeezed his hand. “Tell me how it feels after three sets of ten.”

“Alright, now I'm starting to hate you… just a little,” he teased, as he continued on with the exercises, his legs trembling from the exertion.

“That was really good,” Justin beamed. “You can sit down now.”

Brian sighed as he took a seat on the treatment table.

“The good news is, I spoke to your specialist this morning,” Justin told him.

“Oh yeah?”

“I mentioned how you weren't getting on with the brace. He said we could try taping your knee instead. How does that sound?”

“Are you serious? That sounds great – thank you.”

“It won’t feel as secure as the brace at first, so you might feel like it’s not giving you enough support, but it will do,” Justin explained, as he gathered together the elastic bandages and scissors. “I’ll do it for you now, and next time I’ll teach you how to do it. This will last you until you’re next in. Sound good?” Brian nodded.

Justin cut the bandages to their correct length and began the process of taping up Brian’s knee. “Does this feel okay?”

“Yeah, it feels good.”

Why do I feel so fucking nervous around him?

“All done. You can call me if you have any problems – you… you have my number.”

Brian smirked. “I do.”

Justin went to stand up, but Brian stopped him.

“Do you want to come to Babylon tonight?”

“I don’t… I probably shouldn't.”

“I'm not…I'm not asking you out, Justin.”

“I didn't,” he stuttered, completely mortified, “think you were.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I want to, I really do,” he admitted, causing Justin’s face to blush a deep, dark red. “But neither of us are ready for that.”

“Oh?…oh, uh yeah…”

“So, Sunshine, was that an 'oh' as in you don't want to go out or 'oh' as in you want to…eventually?”

Sunshine?

“The… the second one,” he said quietly.

Brian looked quite proud of himself as he spoke, “not now, but be ready, because it’ll happen.”

Justin swallowed loudly; he didn't know what to say. Was he fucking with him?

“Meet me outside Babylon at nine,” Brian told him, as he grabbed his crutches and left the room, leaving Justin standing there wondering what the hell was going on.

***

“Fuck,” Justin muttered as he went through his closet looking for something decent to wear that night. He had nothing suitable, he hadn't been clubbing in years. It just wasn't something Ethan was interested in. He, however, loved to shake his stuff on the dance floor. He was rather looking forward to tonight – if only he could find something to wear.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and called the one person he knew that could help him.

“Daph, are you at home?”

“Hey! Yeah, I just finished work. Is everything okay?”

“I need you to come shopping with me.”

“Okaaaay.”

“Well, can you?”

“Yes, but what the hel…”

“I’ll be outside your apartment in five minutes,” he said and hung up.

Grabbing his coat and his wallet he rushed out the door and was at Daphne’s in less than three minutes, where she was already waiting outside for him.

“What’s all this about?” Daphne asked, as she pulled the car door open and sat down, turning the heat up in the car as she made herself comfortable.

“I have nothing to wear to Babylon tonight,” Justin tried to explain, his eyes focused on the road ahead of him. “Everything I own is too fucking ugly.”

“Slow down. What are you talking about?”

“Brian asked me if I wanted to go to Babylon tonight.”

“Shut the fuck up! Are you serious? Way to go, Justin,” she beamed.

“Calm down, Daph,” he laughed. “It’s not what you think… it’s not a date. His friends will be there too.”

“But you like him, right?”

Justin sighed, “It’s not that simple, Daph.”

“That’s not what I asked you.”

“Yeah… I do. He’s great, Daph.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

He sighed again, “Firstly, he’s my patient.”

“That’s kinda hot,” she teased.

“Daph,” he gasped.

Daphne laughed at the shocked look on Justin’s face. “Oh come on, he is. But maybe you could see if someone else in your department could see him?” She suggested.

“Yeah… maybe. It’s not just that, though. We are both just coming out of a relationship.”

Daphne sighed.

“What was that for?” He asked.

“You think too much.”

Justin shook his head and laughed, “I know, but Fuck. Why am I so nervous?”

“Because you’ve not been on a date in what, seven years?”

“It’s not a date, Daph.”

“You boys keep telling yourselves that.”

Justin leant across and pinched her leg, “God, you’re so annoying,” he laughed.

Daphne giggled as she pulled her body away from Justin. “It’s why you love me.”

The pulled into the mall’s parking lot and quickly found a space.

“I have an outfit in mind,” Daphne told him as she exited the car in record speed.

“Really?” Justin asked as he grabbed his bag from the back seat.

“Yes, now come on.”

Once inside the mall it was as though Daphne was on some sort of mission, she knew exactly where she was going and what she was going there for.

“Where are we going?” He asked, as she linked their arms together and weaved her way expertly through the crowds of people.

“Bloomingdale's,” Daphne informed him, her eyes way too bright and excited for a simple shopping trip.

Justin paused and gave her a stare, “We’re not going on a shopping spree. I only have a few hours. I’ll try a couple of outfits on and it will be in and out, no hassle. Got it?”

“Of course, of course,” Daphne told him distractedly before practically squealing over a bright yellow top on the rack.

“They still have stuff from their summer clearance!” Daphne exclaimed.

Justin let out a sigh as he pushed down his aggravation. Every fucking time.

***

Justin stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom and fixed his hair for what must have been the fifth time in the past hour.

His phone buzzed loudly from his night stand, making him jump.

Fuck, I need to relax

Hope you’re still on for Babylon tonight, B

He can’t help the smile that takes over his face as he reads Brian’s message.

I'm leaving in a minute. J he replied, as he slipped on his shoes

He ran out into the hallway and pulled on his new leather jacket, giving himself a final once over in the small mirror by the front door, yep, he looks good.

The cab ride to Babylon doesn't take long, and he noticed Brian almost immediately as he stood by the main entrance waiting for him.

“Hey,” Justin called out as he walked up to Brian. “You didn't have to wait outside. It’s freezing.”

“Its fine,” Brian smiled warmly, heating up the frigid air around him with his kindness.

“Is everyone inside?”

Brian nodded his head as he pushed Justin towards the door. “Terry, he’s with me,” he told the bouncer on the door.

“Do you come here a lot?” Justin asked loudly so that he could be heard over the loud music that was escaping from the club’s dance floor. “You knew the guy on the door.”

“You could say that,” he smirked. “Do you want a drink?” he asked, as he led Justin towards the bar.

“Yes, please. Do they serve Samuel Adams here?”

“They serve pretty much everything here,” Brian told him as he ordered their beers.

Justin watched as Brian took the drinks from the cute guy behind the bar. “Don’t you have to pay for those?”

“Nope,” he winked, as he propped himself up onto a bar stool. “I’ll explain later.”

He looks so fucking hot right now.

“What?” Brian asked curiously.

Shit, I was staring at him. But I can’t help it. How can someone look so goddamn sexy, when all they’re doing is just sitting in front of me?

“Nothing,” Justin blushed. “You look nice, that’s all.”

“Nice?”

Shit, I didn't mean to say that out loud.

“I mean, you look really…”

“I'm winding you up, Justin.” Brian laughed. I know what you meant. And I have to say, you look pretty good yourself.”

Justin could feel the heat rise within him at Brian’s compliment.

“Turn around for me,” Brian demanded.

“What? Why?” Justin laughed as he slowly turned around.

“I was just checking out how your ass looks in those jeans,” he admitted candidly.

“And, what’s the verdict?” Justin asked flirtatiously.

Justin knew the answer the moment he saw the large bulge appear in Brian’s pants.

“Not bad.”

Justin nodded his head, knowing full well that he looked better than ‘not bad,” and Brian knew it.

“Hey, baby,” you wanna dance? Emmett asked as he ran over to them from his place on the dance floor.

“Sure,” he beamed. “Are you going to be okay?” Justin asked.

“I think I’ll manage,” Brian laughed, as he watched Emmett pull Justin away.

“He’s watching you, you know?”

“Who?”

“Brian. He can’t take his eyes off of you.”

Impulsively, Justin looked over his shoulder and saw that Emmett was right. Brian was over by the bar, sitting with his back to it, watching them closely. Watching him closely. Justin bit his lower lip to hide the smile and the moment that Brian realised that Justin caught him was easy to see. The man looked bashful, but only for a millisecond. He then raised his eyebrows and then his bottle of beer before taking a swig and letting his lips rest on the tip for a moment longer than necessary.

He watched as Brian sauntered off, admiring the way his dark jeans clung to him in all the right places.

They’d dance for a few songs before returning to the bar to top up their drinks, and after an hour and a half, Justin held up his hands in surrender. “I need a break,” he said breathlessly as he wobbled towards the bar. “I feel like I'm floating, “he hiccuped.

“Five cosmos will do that to you,” Emmett laughed.

Justin nodded his head along to the music, “Have you seen Brian?”

“Not since he was eye fucking you earlier,” Emmett teased as he downed another drink.

“He was not.”

“Oh, honey. He really was.”

“Yeah?”

“You like him, I can tell.”

Justin covered his eyes bashfully as he nodded his head. “Fuck, Emmett, he’s hot.”

Justin’s words were slurred and, for a second, he hoped in a haze that Emmett hadn’t understood him. But with the way Emmett’s eyes lit up with glee, he so did.

Emmett threw his head back as he laughed, “Baby, tell me something I don’t know.”

“Ethan wasn't hot… he was beautiful, but he wasn't hot,” rambled Justin, the alcohol seeming to have taken effect since they stopped dancing.

“Your ex-boyfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“But, Brian…I got fucking hard just looking at him tonight,” he covered his mouth the moment the words came pouring out.

“I think we've had enough of these tonight,” Emmett grinned, as he took the drink out of Justin’s hand.

“Where do you think he is?” Justin asked as he swivelled around on his bar stool.

“Maybe his office or in one of the booths?” Suggested Emmett, as he grabbed hold of Justin to stop him from falling off of his chair.

“His office? Why would he go back to Kin… Kinneti... why would he go back to work”?

“No,” Emmett laughed. “His office upstairs.”

Justin scrunched up his nose in confusion, “he works here?”

“Work here? Honey, he owns, Babylon.”

Justin stopped spinning on his chair, “really?”

Shit. Brian was more successful than he thought.

“Yeah, he’s owned it for a couple of years now,” Emmett informed him.

Justin looked around, “He must really like the club scene, to run a place like this. I know next to nothing.”

Emmett smiled knowingly, “Brian’s been the King of Babylon for years. He might not participate in the contest but that’s what he is.”

But then Emmett leant in, “But between you and me? Brian seemed like he was going through the motions for a while. He met someone and he seemed like he was...I don’t know, growing out of it. He does business, comes to hang with his friends. But if you are worried that you don’t know enough or that this isn't your scene 24/7, don’t be. I think he’s looking for more than all the thumpa thumpa has to offer now.”

Justin nodded, trying to soak in the information that Emmett was giving him before Emmett pointed over his shoulder.

“But right now? He seems to be looking at you. Again.”

Justin turned in his stool and saw Brian in a booth built into a wall, blue lights shining down on him. The man quickly looked down and Justin didn't manage to suppress his smile.

“Go on and talk to him, baby. I’ll be over here sipping on my drink and checking out these delectable tops over there.”

Without much more than a mumble of thanks to Emmett, Justin walked over to the booth tucked into the isolated wall.

“Hey,” Justin grinned as he stopped in front of Brian’s booth, slipping slightly on the wet floor.

“Careful,” Brian warned as he reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him onto his lap. “We can’t have you falling over now, can we?”

“Brian, your knee,” Justin said worriedly, as he tried to pull himself up.

“My knee is fine; I have a very good physio looking after me,” Brian smirked.

Justin blushed deeply.

“Did you have fun dancing with Emmett?” Brian asked, as his hand absent-mindedly stroked Justin’s leg.

“Hmm?” he hummed, as he rested his head comfortably against Brian’s.

Brian laughed as he took in Justin’s dazed expression. “You’re so buzzed.”

“Yeah, I feel good,” he sighed.

“Mmm, you do,” Brian moaned, as he wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist.

“That feels nice.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Justin breathed, as he settled himself into Brian’s arms.

How Justin had gone from planning to chat with Brian to sitting in his lap, he didn't know. But Brian was warm and comfortable and firm yet somehow soft.

Fuck, he was perfect.

And maybe if Justin were sober, he wouldn't even consider this. But fuck, he’s drunk. So drunk that he was not even worried about Ethan, rejection, or ethics when he pressed his lips against Brian’s.

They’re soft and pliant and their kiss was chaste and testing. He shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn't be doing this. He reluctantly pulled away from Brian, prepared to apologise. But Brian laced his fingers with his in one hand and cupped his neck with another as he pulled him in for another kiss.

Any hesitance Justin had in him before has now left him.

The kiss was searing and hot, even at its tamest. Brian darted his tongue out to lick Justin’s lower lip and Justin let his lips part to let him in. Their tongues danced to a beat much slower than the one pounding to the speakers. Justin doesn't think he’s ever participated in a kiss so relaxing. He couldn't imagine anything better.

Until things heated up.

He wasn't sure how it happened, how he found himself straddling Brian. Maybe it was when Brian teased the hem of his shirt with his fingers. Maybe it was when Justin felt Brian’s hard-on press across his ass. But he broke from the kiss just long enough to put his knees on the seat, on each side of Brian. He looked down at the older man and Brian looked up at him, eyes clouded with lust and want. Justin crushed his lips against Brian’s once more and he’s not sure how long that went on.

It was not until Brian was pressing hot, wet kisses against his neck and pulling him so close so that Brian’s arms completely wrapped around his back that Justin took a look in the mirror. The mirror stood above the top of the back of the seat and served as a centrepiece for the two empty squares displaying the dance floor on either side of it. If Justin were sober, he would think it was a nice decorative touch. A useful tool for all the men to glance at their reflection to make sure they look their best.

But Justin wasn't sober. If he were, then he probably wouldn't be doing this in the first place.

He wanted to get back to what he was doing. Go back to kissing this beautiful man. Hell, maybe drag him into the back room. The moans echoing from back there were making them both horny.

But all he could see was a man who just jumped into something without even thinking about the fact he broke up with the person he used to think was the love of his life, even though they both knew that wasn't the case.

It hurt. It really did. Because even if it was for the best, he still loved Ethan. Ethan was a good person, always had been. He had come at a time when Justin didn't know anyone else who was gay. Ethan brought him comfort, even if they weren't some match made in heaven.

Ethan Gold deserved better than for him to jump into a completely new relationship, not even a week out.

“Justin?”

Justin felt Brian’s hands touching his face and tilting his head downward, causing Justin to look Brian straight in the eye.

“Hey,” Brian murmured, wiping a thumb underneath Justin’s left eye, “What’s wrong?”

Justin shook his head and looked down.

“I'm not ready. I...I want to be. I want this. But I'm not ready.”

Brian nodded, “Okay. It’s alright, Sunshine.”

There was that name again. Sunshine. Justin felt like anything but that, yet it did bring a tiny bit of warmth to his chest.

“I'm sorry,” Justin told him sincerely as he lifted his knees off of the booth and turned in Brian’s lap in an attempt to get up, “I shouldn't have done that. I'm your PT. I need to be more responsible. I need-”

“What you need is a friend.”

Justin turned his head to stare at Brian, wide-eyed and surprised, before Brian opened his arms in an embracing gesture.

“Come here.”

Justin sat there, momentarily frozen. He shouldn't, he should get up and call a cab. But fuck, Brian had been so warm and the man had his arms open, just for him. Brian had understood. Brian had offered Justin friendship until he was ready.

And that was what he needed.

So, leaning in to bury his face into the crook of Brian’s neck, Justin let himself be held. Eventually, Justin put his arms around Brian as well. He had never felt so safe.

They didn't let go each other for a long time.