Justin knocked again at Brian's hotel room door. There was still no answer. He pulled out his cell. That was the first time he realized that his stress over seeing his father at Molly's birthday had made him careless. He had forgotten to charge up his battery and the cell phone was dead. He quickly checked to see if there was any voice mails. Screwed again...he had not cleared out his voice mail box and it was already full. The last call was one from Dan reminding him of an upcoming deadline. He had been so wrapped up in his new relationship with Brian that he had gotten lax in more than one thing that he was usually very conscientious about. He was cursing his carelessness when he heard a voice behind him. He whirled around expectantly, hoping to see Brian, and came face to face with the young man who had been servicing their room most frequently.

"Sir," the employee started, "I believe Mr. Kinney has checked out of the hotel already. He had placed an order for champagne and then called to cancel just a couple of hours ago because he was leaving."

The look on the younger man's face made the hotel employee feel a twinge of sadness for the blond. It was obvious that the older man hadn't given his 'friend' any warning that he was leaving. Justin thanked the young man and turned to leave. He heard the employee call to him again.

"Sir, you might try the front desk. Mr. Kinney might have left you a message or something."

Justin's face brightened slightly. Of course...Brian must have left him a message to say what had happened. He had probably tried to call too. Justin hurried to the elevator. He had to find out if Brian had left word for him. The moment he got off the elevator he hurried over to the front desk. He balanced from one foot to the other in frustration as both of the hotel's clerks were busy checking in new guests. His thoughts kept tumbling over each other in a vain effort to make sense of Brian's sudden disappearance. Justin played back the last time he saw Brian in his hotel room and tried to remember every word they had said to each other. All he could think of was the warmth and comfort he felt as they made love, not once but twice before even sitting down to breakfast. He replayed their conversation during their meal as if it was on a recording. The conversation had certainly been pleasant enough. The image of Brian's final words of encouragement and that passionate kiss good bye at the door to the room was in stark contrast to the emptiness of his knocks on that same door when he returned. It just didn't make sense. Brian had to have left some kind of message. Finally, one of the clerks finished up with the guest and turned towards Justin.

"May I help you Sir?" he asked politely.

"Yes, I'd like to check and see if one of your guests left me a message. I was told he checked out not too long ago. His name is Brian Kinney and he was in Room 606."

"Ahh yes, Mr. Kinney? I'll have to check, Sir. I just came on duty a half hour ago. I wasn't here when Mr. Kinney left."

The young man checked his computer and then turned to the room slots behind him. He checked inside the one for Room 606 and found nothing. He had no way of knowing that the novice clerk that had accepted Brian's note earlier had carelessly slipped the note into the slot for Room 909. He turned back to Justin shaking his head.

"Are you sure there is no message?" Justin asked desperately.

"I'm sorry, Sir. We do show that Mr. Kinney checked out several hours ago but I can't find any evidence of a note being left."

Justin thanked the clerk half-heartedly and turned away defeated. Obviously whatever had made Brian leave so suddenly was too important to waste time leaving him an explanation, Justin thought to himself. It was too late to call Dan and see if he knew anything. He would wait till morning. As Justin hailed a cab and gave his home address, he tried to decide if he should call Brian's cell once he got home. Shortly after he went up to his cold empty apartment, he sat down next to the phone. He could call, but he had no way of knowing what Brian was doing or even where he was. For that matter, he had no way of knowing if Brian was alone. He argued with himself for a bit more and finally made his decision. Brian knew exactly where he could find him and also knew his schedule just as well as Justin knew it himself. If Brian really wanted to speak with him, he would make the call. Justin just had to be patient.

Justin wasn't hungry any longer. He grabbed a bottle of Dr. Pepper from the fridge and went to his room. He removed his clothing and slipped into his tub. He had thought a hot soak would ease some of the tension that had built in him the moment he realized Brian was gone. Instead, Justin lay in his old tub with his eyes closed in the darkened room and let the images of the love he had made with Brian that very morning in the hotel jacuzzi play like a sensual romantic film across his mind. His body began to quiver imperceptibly as he recalled the feeling of laying in Brian's lap and experiencing the feeling of his lover filling him up inside. He never even knew that the moisture on his face was not from tub water, but from silent tears that slowly made a path down his cheeks. He had allowed himself to fall in love with Brian and now he wondered if it hadn't been the biggest mistake of his life.

***************************************************************

Brian waited for the plane to taxi down the runway. He knew that Ted would be waiting to pick him up. He thought briefly of calling Justin as soon as he de-planed but decided it would be best to wait until the young man called him. His note had been as specific as he could make it.

'Justin, I've got a serious problem back home at Kinnetik that I have to take care of. I'm really sorry about this. I was looking forward to a great dinner with you and a very special 'dessert' afterwards. I also wanted to take you out again and show you a bit more of my world. I tried to call you but couldn't get through. Damn, Justin, what's the use of a cell phone if you don't have it on or able to take messages. I really wanted to say good bye. Well hell, I'll just wait till you call me. I promise I'll get back as soon as I can. In the meantime, call me anytime. I'll be waiting to hear from you. I'll miss you. Brian'

At least Justin would know that he hadn't left willingly. Hopefully he would call soon. In the meantime, Brian girded himself for the upcoming turmoil at work. The minute he spotted Ted waiting for him, he hurried over and the two men made a beeline for baggage claim. It was late in the evening by the time they reached the offices of Kinnetik, Inc. Ted pulled out the information he had gathered on their three troublesome clients and an in depth report he had compiled on Larry Hicks, the young hot shot from Brian's rival, Talbot Advertising. Brian gave his second in command his usual pat on the back...the man was a business marvel...and set about reading up on all he needed to know.

Hours flew by as Brian absorbed all the info he needed to pull his clients back into the fold. He had to admit that young Hicks had some good ideas, based on his pitches to other clients that had been accepted by them. Brian, of course, had no clue as to what he was offering Brian's clients but he suspected it wasn't rubbish. By the time Brian realized he'd need to get some rest, he also knew that this challenge wasn't going to be easy. Ted, as always, was right on the money. Young Hicks was going to be a worthy opponent and Brian could feel his creative juices flowing. In all the excitement Brian had not had a moment to think about Justin. Now that he was winding down and exhaustion was setting in, his mind wandered back to New York City and the beautiful blond he had left there. He longed to have another hot bath with Justin resting his warm inviting body against him. He knew that being with Justin would wash away all the tension and worry. But wishing for something didn't do any good.

Brian woke Ted up from his nap on the chaise lounge and let him know he was ready to head for home. Meetings had already been arranged for lunch time and late afternoon the next day with their two local clients and Brian already had a ticket for his hour and fifteen minute flight to Philly the morning after that to meet with Central Air's bigwigs. The next couple of days were going to be a hell on earth, but Brian was prepared for the challenge. He dragged his tired bones into his loft apartment once Ted left him off and flopped onto his big comfortable bed. Brian checked his alarm clock. It was three a.m., too late to be bothering Justin. The poor guy was probably long into slumberland. As Brian set his alarm for nine so that he could have time enough to relax before his first meeting the next day, he thought of how good it would feel to snuggle up to Justin's warm body right then. He pulled his clothes off and just let them fall to the side of the bed. As his head hit the pillow, his last thought was of a sunshiny smile on a gorgeous blond face but then his mind went blank as sleep engulfed him.

********************************************************************

Justin lay in his lonely bed and watched the minutes changing on his digital clock. He had been waiting for hours in the vain hope that his home phone would ring. His cell phone was now charged up too and he would have been just as happy to hear the Heather Small song, 'Proud', that always played announcing a call coming in. Neither event happened as the late night hours dragged on. Around three in the morning, Justin's body gave out and he slipped into a restless sleep. His dreams were haunted by the image of a tall handsome brunet with hazel eyes who kept fading in and out of his mind like an ethereal ghost. He kept reaching out for the image but it would disappear in a puff of smoke each time he almost had a grasp on the man. Justin was too deep in sleep to hear himself moaning his displeasure at the loss each time.

Morning finally arrived. Justin had slept much longer than he had planned to. A look at his clock told him it was already past noon. He never slept so late normally. Justin woke feeling more tired than when he had fallen asleep. His heart hurt when he realized that neither of his phones had ever rung. A quick check of his message box on the cell revealed that there were no messages for him either. Nothing....Brian hadn't tried to contact him at all. The man had simply left without a backwards glance, telling Justin that he was of no importance at all. Then it dawned on Justin that maybe Dan knew something. He rapidly dialed Dan's office. Dan's secretary put him through right away.

"Hey Justin, you just caught me having lunch in the office. So what's up?"

"I ahhh...I was just wondering if you've heard from Brian Kinney lately. We...ahhhh, had an appointment and he never showed up." Justin knew that Dan wasn't fully aware of his growing relationship with Brian so he tried to sound as businesslike and casual as he could.

"Well, actually I did get a call from him yesterday. He said he had to take care of some business matters at home and would have to cut short his time here in New York. He said he already had all the appointments set up for the next month for the media blitz. He didn't mention any appointment with you. I'm sorry kid. He probably just forgot. You know how these businessmen can be. Was it super important? I'm sure I can call his office for you and see if he wants to reschedule, although I don't know when he is planning on coming back here."

Justin felt that stab of pain in his chest again. He took a moment to compose himself and then answered casually, "No. No, that won't be necessary. It wasn't that important. It was just strategy talk for my next assignment. I know what is expected of me already. Look, I've got to go Dan. I'm sorry I bothered you...really. I'm supposed to do another online blogging session day after tomorrow and I'll make sure I don't miss it." Justin was about to hang up when he heard Dan's voice. "I'm sorry, what did you say Dan?"

"I asked how things are going with your novel. Brian tells me you've been making a lot of progress on it lately. He said you let him see some of the newest stuff and he told me he was quite impressed."

For some reason that last part hurt Justin even more deeply, if that was possible. Brian liked the work much better than the writer obviously.

"It's coming along Dan. Sometimes I don't think I'll ever finish it, but I keep plugging away. I promise I'll let you know if I ever have enough worth showing you. Oh, I also have to finish that short story I promised my editor for the magazine. Looks like I'll have more time now to get it done since I don't have to worry about meeting with Brian. Gotta go Dan. Talk to you later."

Justin hung up, leaving a confused Dan on the other end wondering why his favorite writer sounded so funny. Dan shook his head, deciding it was just his imagination. Justin stared at the phone in his hand. At the moment he hated the damned thing. It refused to ring with a call from Brian...just more proof that the man had better things to do than call a guy he'd been fucking for the last few weeks or so. He probably had a few regular fucks in his hometown and might even be fucking one of them right now for all he knew. The image caused another stab of pain.

My own fault, Justin thought to himself. Brian never said he loved me. The man never even talked about love or romance. He had probably been laughing at the romantic notions that his naive lover was thinking about. Justin began to think that the whole affair with him and Brian was nothing but a fantasy he had conjured up in his own fevered brain. All the long talks with Brian that had been so intimate and revealing faded from memory and all he could see was a horny man who had found a willing partner while he was away from home. He had never made me any promises, Justin reminded himself. "All my fault", he said out loud. "I've been a complete idiot."

Justin looked at the phone again and for a split second he thought about calling Brian's cell. His hand reached out, but it hung over the phone like a tentative virgin. Don't be an even bigger fool, his mind shouted at him. Brian Kinney would not appreciate your clinging on to him like some love sick puppy. Justin pulled his hand back. He got up slowly and walked into the kitchen. He pulled out the milk and reached for a box of cereal. He needed sustenance. He hadn't eaten since Molly's party. He had work to do and he couldn't think on an empty stomach. He forced himself to finish up the bowl of cereal, took his bowl and spoon to the sink, and moved on to the little office alcove where his computer waited. Justin turned on the computer and moved his mouse to his files. He settled on his ongoing novel and started to click. His hand stopped. He was in no mood to work on a love story. He moved the mouse over to his short story for the magazine. Sex, nothing but pure sex in that story. No feelings...no emotions...no heartbreak...just sucking and fucking. That was all he was good for now.

Justin clicked on the short story and began writing. His vision blurred as tears formed at the corners of his eyes. He kept typing. He had a deadline and that was all he had anymore.

To be continued.......................................