The attractive brunet gave the dark-haired shorter man one last look of pure disdain and pushed his way out of the makeshift office he had been standing in. The other man knew better than to pursue his friend when he got like this. Michael Novotny had known Brian Kinney for far too many years to not know when his friend was in no mood to be challenged. He had come into the circus office looking for the boss and found the boss's son instead. Normally Brian would have waited to talk to the boss, Debbie Novotny, but he was far too riled up right now to keep his anger in check. 

Brian Kinney was the star attraction of the Novotny Family Circus, and he carried a lot of clout with the owners. Normally he didn't make a habit of throwing his weight around, but he felt his life and the lives of his troupe were at risk. This was thanks to the new flyer they had hired after the previous guy had been injured in an accidental fall when the net failed to hold at one end. One accident was enough for a season, as far as Brian was concerned. He had come to the office to demand that they fire the new flyer and find a replacement. Michael, who really didn't have the final say anyway, had balked at the idea of trying to find a replacement this late in the season. That was the reason for the loud arguing. Michael's attempts to calm his star aerialist fell on deaf ears, and he watched helplessly as Brian stormed out of the office after not getting the answers he wanted to hear. Michael knew that Brian was too much of a trouper to cancel performing on this night, but he had no way of knowing how the pissed-off trapeze artist would handle the situation.

Brian made his way back to his trailer/dressing room on the other side of the main tent. He passed a number of fellow performers in various states of dress and avoided glancing up at any of them. They knew better than to speak to him when he was obviously distracted. Brian was normally a very happy guy who got along with almost everyone, but he did have a temper when something was bothering him. Something was obviously bothering him now. They let him pass without comment. Brian hurried on. He still had a couple of hours left before the show started and he needed to get ready. Normally he had everything timed perfectly but tonight he needed extra time to meet with his fellow flyers. One of them was in for an unpleasant surprise.

************************************************************

Brian Kinney hadn't been born to the circus. In fact, he had come from a blue-collar family who stuck their noses up at entertainers of any kind, unless of course it was his father singing loudly and drunkenly at the local bar in town with his father's cronies cheering him on. His mother did all of her singing in church three times a week as she prayed for the lost souls of her husband and rebellious son. Rebellious was the perfect way to describe the maturing and strikingly handsome young brunet. He never felt like he fit in with his family, and that included his older sister who was like a clone of her mother. Brian had been athletic, much to his dad's delight...at least until he discovered that his son preferred gymnastics to football or other contact sports. In Jack Kinney's eyes those were manly sports, and his son's interest in gymnastics was a little too girly for his tastes. When Brian refused to give up his tumbling classes in order to join the school's football team, Jack gave up on his son. 

Over the years Brian discovered he had a natural affinity for acrobatics, especially when they involved being high in the air. His long, lanky and perfectly-toned body was capable of making all kinds of aerial moves flawlessly, and Brian finally felt he fit in somewhere. In no time he was the star gymnast at his school. As Brian entered high school, he discovered something else about himself, something that made him feel even more of an outcast in his own home. 

He had always been extremely attractive to the girls, but had never bothered to give any of them a second look. One day, at the age of fifteen, one of the other gymnastic students caught his eye. The problem was that it was an exchange student of the wrong sex. For the first time in his life Brian found himself thinking of something besides his passion for his artistry on the mat and in the air. He felt an overwhelming desire to touch the young man and feel his touch in return. The boy was from Sweden and as pale as Brian was dark. He had amazing green-gold eyes and the slim, athletic build that Brian had been secretly admiring for some time without hinting at it even to himself. 

One day the young man, Sven Angstrom, took an unexpected spill during a floor routine. His instructor called Brian over to help the young man to the nurse's office since he was tied up with another problem they were having at that moment. Sven's ankle was twisted, but the pain was only severe when he put his full weight on it. Brian threw the young man's arm around his shoulder and helped him to the nearby nurse's office. When they arrived she was absent, and a note stated she would be back shortly. Brian helped Sven into the waiting room and onto the small examining table. As Brian bent down to make it easier for Sven to slide his arm from around Brian's neck, their faces came within inches of each other.

For the first time in Brian's life he felt a sexual spark. To his utter delight, Sven must have felt it too, because suddenly the two boys were in a lip lock. There is no telling how long they might have stayed fused together at the mouth if they hadn't heard the sound of approaching footsteps from the hallway. They pulled apart rapidly, barely able to catch their breaths. Their faces turned a few shades of pink, but the nurse was so distracted by something else that she never noticed a thing. That day was the start of a whole new life for Brian. For almost three months after that he and Sven were inseparable. They practiced together in the gym during school hours and at a local sports arena nearby during the off school hours. Neither Brian's family nor Sven's adopted family ever suspected that not all absences were spent with sports activities, at least the kind of sport that one could indulge in with an audience. 

During their relationship, Brian learned that Sven had already had a previous boyfriend at home in Stockholm. Brian was an avid student of the many things Sven was able to teach him about the fun two boys could have together. Unfortunately for the couple, Sven received news of a medical emergency with his father back home. The family needed him to return, as he was the oldest son. He was Brian's first crush and it hurt to say good bye, but after his young lover left for home Brian threw himself into his athletics and gave little thought to anything else. Within weeks Brian realized that he really didn't miss Sven near as much as he did the games they played. By the time Brian hit seventeen he had discovered that there were plenty of other men out there that he could have just as much fun with. He never did find anyone, however, that he felt like keeping around for very long.

For Brian, his career became his all-consuming passion. It was strictly by accident that he ended up with the 'Novotny Family Circus' over a decade ago. By the time Brian was in his final year of high school, he was given the opportunity to try out for the 1960 Summer Olympics to be held in Rome. He wanted it so badly it was like an aching need inside him, then disaster struck. While practicing on the rings, Brian lost his concentration for that one split second that makes all the difference. He lost his grip as he did a somersault, and fell. Normally he would have been alright when he fell onto the pad but he landed in the worst position possible and he heard, more than felt it, as a bone in his leg cracked. He looked like a pretzel as he lay in pain on the old mat that hadn't absorbed as much of the impact as it should have. 

By the time Brian's leg was healed properly the Olympic teams were chosen, and he graduated without realizing his dream. Brian had moved out from his family home the minute he was able to. He lived temporarily with one of his old coaches while he decided whether to continue training hard for the next Olympic games in '64. When not at the gym, or at his job as a delivery boy for a local pharmacy, Brian could always be found frequenting one of the few gay bars in the city. He never had a problem picking up a trick for the night. It was at one of these late night forays that he met young Michael Novotny. 

Michael was a year older than Brian and lived the life of a tumbling tumbleweed. He was the only child of the owner of one of the small number of family circuses left in America. Most of the small traveling circuses had folded up their tents because of financial troubles caused by America's changing tastes in entertainment. Television and movies were by far the medium of choice for families now, and even the largest traveling circuses were struggling to hold on. The Novotny family had been in the business for five generations and Debbie Novotny, the heir after her husband's death when Michael was only two, refused to give up on the business. 

Michael had not proven to be much of an entertainer, but he was quite good with the business end of the enterprise. He filled in as best he could when one of the clowns or easier acts had a medical problem or other emergency, but for the most part he stayed behind the scenes and helped his mother and uncle to run the business. His Uncle Vic handled all the food services for the members of their circus family and customers. He could make shoe leather taste good. Michael worshiped his uncle, especially when he discovered Uncle Vic fooling around with Bernardo, one of the horse trainers with the circus. Michael had known for several years that he had feelings for men rather than women but had kept it to himself in fear of disappointing the family. Once he discovered his feelings were shared by his uncle, he had someone to confide in at last. It was then that he also discovered that his mother had suspected her son was just like her brother, and life became much easier for the young man after that. 

It was with his mother's blessing that Michael and Vic would seek out any gay bars they could find wherever they were playing. Occasionally there were none to be found, but mostly a spot was always available. So far they had been lucky and never found themselves in a dangerous or compromising position. They looked out for each other. That was why the two men were at 'Buddies', a popular gay bar at their next stop on this year's tour. Brian was there too. Brian had noticed the younger and older men who looked so much alike but hadn't made a move to chat with them at first. The younger man looked to be his age, but wasn't built the way Brian preferred, or with a look that Brian favored. 

Actually there had been no fellow who stood out for Brian on this warm Summer night, so he simply circulated the room in the hopes that a good prospect would step through the doors before the night was over. Eventually Brian ended up sharing a beer at the bar with the young man who introduced himself as Michael. Two hours later Brian realized he felt comfortable with both of the newcomers. Conversation eventually got around to why Brian had never seen the men before, and he found himself fascinated by their tales of life in the circus. Brian had never once considered a career in the entertainment field. His goal had always been to pursue a career as a coach of gymnastics, but suddenly the idea of getting out of his hometown and seeing a lot more of the world, on top of meeting new faces, became quite appealing. When his newfound friend suggested Brian come to the circus grounds for an early dinner the next day so that he could meet the matriarch of the family, Brian decided he had nothing to lose.

That had been the beginning of a devoted friendship. Debbie Novotny took to Brian immediately. There was something bold and daring about the young man that Debbie recognized and admired. She could tell her son had developed his first real crush, even in so short a time. There were a few other gay members of the circus family but not much for her son to choose from, and Debbie had long worried that her son would never find someone to love. When Michael suggested she hire Brian to join the tumbling act, which had just lost one member to retirement before the new Season had begun, Debbie was willing to give Brian a chance to show his stuff. By the end of the day life had changed forever for all concerned. Brian took the job on a lark and left town one week later when the circus pulled up stakes and moved on to its next venue. Brian never even said good bye to his family.

The first year had been a learning curve for young Brian. He became aware of the many differences between performing for entertainment and performing for competitive sports. He was a quick learner and his affable personality made it easy for him to fit in with the other performers. Before long he was an integral part of more than one act involving tumbling and trampolining, but his first love was still off the ground. Brian spent countless hours watching the high wire act and the trapeze artists. After the leader of the trapeze troupe caught him practicing in the air one evening, the much older man took Brian under his wing and spent the next year teaching the younger man all the finer points of trapeze artistry. 

Brian was hooked. He felt an unbelievably strong sense of freedom as he flew in the air, being caught by Antony, the leader of the troupe. By the third year that Brian was with the circus it became apparent that Antony was ready for retirement. Arthritis, the deadliest of all possibilities for a catcher, had set in on the older man's joints and it was becoming less safe for him to perform his duties with the act. The other members of the act had willingly bowed to Antony's decision to let Brian take his place as catcher. Thus it had remained for almost a decade now. 

Brian and Michael's friendship had grown over the years, and it was impossible to miss the open adoration that Michael felt for Brian, but it was also obvious that the feeling wasn't totally mutual. Brian felt a debt of gratitude to Michael and his family for letting him into their world, which was the first time that Brian felt accepted by everyone around him, but he felt a brotherly love for Michael and simply wasn't able to feel anything else. The truth was that Brian had never felt anything even remotely romantic for any man. He wasn't even sure he could feel such a thing as love for anyone. He had seen what love, or at least so-called love, could end up as with a couple, and Brian wanted nothing to do with it. He was simply happy to get his physical needs met whenever and wherever he could, many times with Michael in tow. 

That was the state of affairs with trapeze star Brian Kinney on this day that would change his life forever, but he would not realize it or even face up to it right away. It snuck up on him when he wasn't even looking.

***********************************************************

Brian hurriedly finished slipping on his tights and checking himself in the full-length mirror. Even he was impressed by what he saw. The costume he wore was a vivid purple with electric blue streaks of lightning shot through it. There were gold sparkles down the side of each perfectly-muscled leg and outlining the lightning bolts on the body hugging shirt. Brian patted the impressive bulge inside his athletic cup. He liked the way his costumes always brought out his best features. Obviously the audience, or at least the ladies in the audience, did too. They always swarmed him for autographs after the show while they ignored many of the other performers exiting the tent. If there were any men or boys who were attracted to the aerialist....and Brian knew there had to be on many occasions....he never saw them being so bold.

Now that he was dressed it was time to meet with the other members of his flying troupe. They were two other men and two young ladies. The girls, Lisa and Anna, were sisters who had been with the circus since early childhood. The death of their parents in a car accident when they were in their teens only derailed their career until they were able to graduate from high school and be released from the constraints of the foster home they had been living in. One of the men was an eight year veteran named Robbie. Brian had a great deal of respect for his talent and professionalism. The other, Kip Thompson was new to the troupe, replacing Robbie's uncle after his debilitating accident. Kip came with a few references, but Brian suspected some of them may have been overblown for whatever reason because the kid was careless and prone to ignore good advice. A near accident when he and Lisa were doing a switchover flying sequence in mid air, which wouldn't have happened if Kip hadn't used poor timing in launching himself from the bar, was the last straw. Brian had no intention of flying with the kid again.

Brian completed his look and hurried out of his trailer. All the trailers were parked in the back of the tent, but Brian could hear the musicians tuning up inside and the loud noises of customers and staff at the stands set up throughout the front area of the main tent. He was in a big hurry to meet up with the troupe and pass on his decision, while still leaving time to make a last inspection of the rigging, which was always his custom. He was moving quickly towards the back of the tent with his head down and didn't see the young man right in front of him with his back turned to Brian. Brian's momentum knocked the person down and he stumbled over him, barely missing falling to the ground himself. 

Brian righted himself using his agility and turned around to face the party on the ground, curse words forming at their carelessness for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Before he could utter a word he found himself staring into the startled eyes of the cutest young man he had ever seen. The boy couldn't have been any older than his late teens, and he had the clearest sky-blue eyes Brian had ever seen. Brian instinctively reached down to give the kid a hand up. The young man stared at the hand as if it was a snake about to bite him, but then realized the man who had knocked him over was offering to help. The young man put out his hand and Brian easily pulled the slight figure to his feet. 

"I...I'm sorry," the beautiful blond stammered. "I probably shouldn't be back here, but I'm afraid my curiosity got the better of me and I started exploring. I realized that this area wasn't meant for the patrons and was going back to the front. I didn't mean to get in your way. I really am sorry. I can see you're with the circus. I hope I didn't cause you any problems....."

Brian looked at his costume and laughed for the first time all day. 

"Don't worry about it kid. I've been in far worse collisions than this in my time, but you are right. You don't belong back here. Are you okay? I guess I should have been paying better attention to where I was going, so it is partly my fault."

Brian suddenly realized he was still holding onto the blond's hand. He pulled his hand away and stepped back. 

"Well kid, I've got to get to work. We've got a show to put on you know. I hope you enjoy it."

"Oh I'm sure I will. I've always loved the circus. I look forward to your act, whatever that is."

For some odd reason Brian continued to stand there for several more seconds as if he was reluctant to part from this total stranger, but then he remembered why he was in such a hurry in the first place, which caused this unfortunate collision. He turned away from the blond and began to walk away towards the back entrance to the big tent. He threw parting words over his shoulder.

"If you want to see my act, keep your eyes skyward. That's where you'll find me."

Brian barely caught the kids last words as he reached the tent.

"I will. Thanks."

And then he was gone.

To be continued...........................................