The show had been spectacular. All the lights, the sparkle, and the excitement had given Justin a rush he hadn't felt in a long time. For those brief couple of hours Justin was able to forget how unsettled his life had become....how insecure the future felt. He was dazzled by the fun and excitement he could feel all around him as performers dealt with wild animals, and human beings made their bodies do things he couldn't imagine doing himself. Of all the acts, it was the trapeze artists that enthralled the young artist the most. 

Justin recognized the lead aerialist the moment he saw him walk out with the other members of his troupe. He strode forward with his head held high, his arm raised heavenward, inviting the applause and whistles of the audience. He was simply gorgeous in his shiny purple costume with the blazing trails of bright blue and gold that hugged his taut body like a second skin. Justin, with his artistic eye, could see every muscle and sinew clearly defined through the stretched fabric despite the distance between them. It was a body that Justin already knew to be quite strong since he had been felled by it when they collided outside the tent before the show began. 

Justin could still feel the firm hand that the brunet had offered him in order to help him up from the ground after the collision. He had looked into the man's deep hazel eyes and something sparked inside himself. He had been a bit frightened by the man's gruffness when they first smacked into one another, but as the man's eyes seemed to soften once they were facing each other, Justin relaxed a little. As their eye contact continued for countless seconds, Justin felt a warmth and surprising comfort in the man's company. He had stammered out some inane comments, including an apology for being in the performer's way, but the man no longer seemed in such a hurry or agitated. All of a sudden, however, the brunet seemed to recall why he was in such a hurry in the first place and was soon on his way. Of course this was only after acknowledging that he was indeed part of the circus and inviting Justin to enjoy his performance.

Justin watched breathlessly, while absent-mindedly grabbing a handful of popcorn from the box in his lap, as the trapeze act moved forward to the center of the large ring. A wide net stretched just over their heads waiting to catch an errant flyer. The brunet moved off to the left alone to where a rope hung leading to the catcher's swing high in the air. The troupe also included two beautiful ladies that shot out brilliant sparks of purple and blue as the overhead lights bounced off their beaded costumes. The final member of their troupe was another well-toned man in a costume that matched the brunet's. From a distance Justin couldn't tell a lot about the man, but he moved gracefully, like someone who had been doing this job for many years. All three shimmied up their ropes until they reached the pedestal adjacent to where the brunet was slowly swinging in the air.

For the next twenty minutes or so, Justin drank in the sight of the beautiful people flying back and forth between catcher and pedestal, all the while performing dexterous single, double, and triple flips and crossovers with one another, all to the oohs and aahs of the audience below. Justin was impressed by the sure hands and strength that the catcher displayed in the way he caught each performer at just the precise moment he needed to. The act went off flawlessly. It ended with each performer taking their turn flying through the air and releasing the bar to fall to the net below, where they bounced a couple of times before coming to a stop. The handsome catcher was the last to fly out. He used a rope to gain momentum with his swing and then performed several flips over the bar before somersaulting to the waiting net. After coming to a halt, he righted himself just as he had outside the tent and took giant steps to the edge of the net. He flipped head over hand to land safely on the ground below. 

The audience roared its approval as all four performers lifted their hands together and took their bows, first to one side of the tent and then the other. Justin had a very good seat up close on the bottom row, so he could clearly see the performers from his vantage point. He saw the pride in the catcher's face as the audience clapped and whistled their appreciation. Justin clapped as hard as anyone. The music playing in the background suddenly changed and a group of clowns came running out, which apparently was a cue for the trapeze act to depart. They turned to head for the exit that they had entered earlier, and as they did Justin could have sworn he made eye contact with the catcher again. He told himself he was imagining it, but he was certain the man smiled at him. Wishful thinking, Justin told himself, and turned away as the troupe left through the exit. Justin spent the rest of the evening enjoying the few remaining acts that closed the show, but he never got the image of the flying man on the trapeze out of his head.

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Two days later Justin made a decision that changed his life forever. It all started when he came home from the circus on the night of his birthday. He was disappointed, but not surprised, to find a large bottle of very expensive champagne and a couple of dozen red roses sitting in front of the door to Daphne's apartment, where he was now staying. His head pivoted around as he scanned the hallway, praying he wouldn't set eyes on the one man he knew had left the gifts for him. He didn't even need to check out the fancy looking card attached to the flowers, but he did once he had reassured himself that Ethan was nowhere in sight. Sure enough the gifts were from his ex, and Justin was not happy about it one tiny bit. 

Ethan was still determined to woo Justin back into his life and his bed, and Justin was just as determined to never give the man another chance to abuse him. He finally had a clear picture as to who Ethan really was. He was a man who enjoyed owning things, and what his family money couldn't buy for him he felt he had the right to take. Once he thought he had something....or in Justin's case, someone....he had no intention of letting it...or him...go until he was good and ready. This invasion of Justin's privacy on his birthday was simply one more sign that the man wasn't letting go. Justin felt his anger rising as he kicked the gorgeous blooms away from the door. He would leave them there for some lucky tenant to find. As for the champagne, he brought the bottle inside and promptly opened it in order to pour every last drop down the kitchen sink. It was a shame to waste such an expensive and tasty vintage but he would rather choke to death than drink a drop. 

Justin tossed the bottle into the recyclable trash bin and popped open a can of Dr. Pepper instead. He carried the can to the kitchen table and pulled out his ticket stub for the circus. As he flipped it between his fingers, he sat back and re-lived all the highlights of his birthday night. That included his memory of the handsome flyer, and the way he had held onto his hand after pulling him up from the ground. Justin shook his head and admonished himself for fantasizing the way he was. He reminded himself that he wasn't some high school kid living in a dream world. In the real world, a young man like himself simply didn't stumble into love with a stranger, especially when that stranger was probably as straight as an arrow and living in a world far more glamorous than his own. 

Justin sat back up and reached for the morning paper that was still lying on the table. He decided he would cut out the advertisement that had drawn him to the circus show in the first place and keep it as a momento of his twenty-first birthday celebration. He found the ad right away and perused it, laughing as he remembered some of the clown acts he had watched. It was then that his eyes caught something he had missed the first time he had discovered the ad. In much smaller letters than the rest of the ad was a little 'help wanted' blurb right under the colorful pictures of the acts. Most people wouldn't even notice it. It was very simple and to the point. It simply read....

Help wanted: Jack of all trades, willing to take on any physical tasks but must have people skills too. Must be 18 years of age or older. Willing to work all hours...before, during, and after performances. Must be willing to travel. If interested contact the box office by bringing in your resume during business hours from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. except for weekends, due to matinee shows. 

For a few moments Justin thought about the fun he might have running away with the circus, but then he dismissed the notion as ridiculous. He had a good job right now and he needed to keep it. He still had a long way to go in order to make up the money he needed to pay for another year of art school. He still wasn't sure it was a good idea to go to the same school as Ethan but it didn't matter. Any school he chose to further his education would require more money than he had saved up at this time. Living with Ethan had been a mistake but at least he hadn't had any rent to pay and now he would have expenses that would eat up a lot of his earnings. Of course it was better to be poor and struggling than living with a man who treated him the way Ethan had. Justin tossed the paper aside and went to bed. The notion of working for the circus was discarded, and would have remained so if not for what happened the next night.

Daphne and Ricky were not due back for a few more days, so Justin went to work the next morning and then returned to the empty apartment. There were very little groceries in the house, and so he decided he would make a run to the supermarket to stock up. It was the least he could do for his friends for letting him stay in their home. Justin opened the door and all but collided with the dark figure that had his hand raised in the gesture of preparing to knock on the door. Justin jumped backwards and squeaked out his surprise. Ethan stood there with a wide grin on his face.

"Whoa there Sweetie, where's the fire?" Ethan laughed.

"There is no fire and I've told you before that I don't like you calling me Sweetie. It sounds ridiculous," Justin huffed, doing his best to contain his irritation.

"Why are you here Ethan?" Justin added. "I thought I told you that I wasn't interested in seeing you anymore."

"I know you said that Swe....Justin, but I just had to know what you thought of my little birthday gift to you. I'll bet you thought I'd forgotten your birthday. I was hoping to catch you at home but I guess you went out to celebrate instead." He paused for a moment. "Don't tell me you had to go out alone. Nobody should have to celebrate their big Twenty One all alone. You could have called me and I would have taken you somewhere special, you know."

Justin couldn't believe his ears. What in the hell was it going to take to make this idiot realize that they were through...final...over...finito....kaput...that there was never going to be an Ethan and Justin relationship again. As he mulled over the thought of how to rid himself of Ethan once and for all, it dawned on him that the man was still talking. He tried to focus on what he was saying.

"....and I know that you must have had a little fun there, but Justin, I could have come up with something a lot more interesting than a two-bit circus. Hell, I would have even arranged a flight so that we could go somewhere exciting like New York City. We could have painted the town red."

It suddenly dawned on Justin that Ethan had had him followed, or followed him himself. How else would he have known that he had visited the circus? In that instant Justin felt both angry heat and a chilling cold. He realized he might never be free of this man as long as he stayed in town. He would have to leave his home town and find somewhere that Ethan would never think to look for him. First he had to get rid of the guy tonight. Then he would have to think over his options. He did his best to mellow out his voice. 

"Look Ethan, I've told you I don't like you spending so much money on me, and besides I really wanted to visit the circus because it reminds me of my mother. We both loved going there, and they just happened to be in town at the right time, that's all. I'm sorry, but I am really exhausted. They busted my hump at work today and all I want right now is a good night's sleep. I've got a double shift at work tomorrow. You know I need to work hard to come up with enough money to pay for the next semester at our school.....and before you offer, the answer is no. I don't want you paying for anything, even if it's only a loan. Okay? Look, why don't you let me get a good night's sleep and we can talk more this weekend? Deal?"

Ethan's smile broadened as he listened to what Justin was saying. He trusted in his ability to sway anyone to his way of thinking, and Justin was telling him just what he had been waiting to hear. He was thoroughly convinced that Justin's resolve to keep him out of his life was slowly crumbling. It was enough hope to make him more willing to co-operate. He put his hand around Justin's neck and pulled him in for a quick kiss. Justin would have fought him but instead allowed the kiss...anything to get the man to go away. He watched as Ethan left, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. As Justin closed the door behind his ex he rubbed hard at his mouth trying to erase the taste of Ethan's lips. 

That night, Justin tossed and turned in his bed as he struggled with images of Ethan taking over his life again. When he finally drifted off to sleep he dreamed of elephants parading and tigers snarling inside cages....of beautiful people juggling, riding on horseback and flying through the air. When he woke from his fitful sleep the next morning he knew immediately what he was going to do. He was supposed to be at work by eight but he called in sick. If he failed in his quest he would dearly miss that day's pay, but he needed to take the chance. He dressed hurriedly, after taking care of a few errands, and then snuck out the back of the apartment house after calling a cab and giving them an address two blocks down. If Ethan had someone watching the front of the apartment house they would never see him getting into the cab. Ten minutes later Justin was in the cab and on his way to the circus grounds for the second time...this time with his resume carefully typed out on Daphne's old typewriter. If he got the job he would call his old friend and say goodbye, but she would be the only one who knew where he had disappeared to, and he knew his secret would be safe with her.

To be continued.........................