"If only my Mom could see me now."

"What did you say?"

The attractive blond hadn't even realized he was speaking out loud. He glanced over at the handsome brunet sitting next to him. Clear hazel eyes met bright blue ones, and a spark seemed to briefly flare in the balmy air breezing around the two men. It made the Summer morning even warmer as the wind whipped through their hair. 

The Jeep drove down the highway at the very back of the long caravan of circus trucks and trailers. The first half hour on the highway had been one of almost total silence, except for the sounds of music playing on the radio. Justin was beginning to wonder why Brian had even bothered to invite him to ride along, when Brian finally broke the silence. 

"Just out of curiosity, how many circuses have you attended in your day, Justin?"

"Uhhhh," Justin responded. He had been on the verge of napping when he heard Brian speak at last. 

"I said, how many circuses have you attended in your lifetime? It isn't a particularly hard question, is it?"

Justin thought for a second and then answered. 

"I haven't been to the circus since I was little. All I remember is my Mom taking me. I think she took me every year, but I only remember the last time."

Brian caught the strange way that Justin's voice changed as he mentioned his mother. His curiosity was piqued.

"What made it so memorable?" he asked.

"It was for my fifth birthday....but it was the last time she took me," Justin answered slowly.

Without thinking, Brian asked, "Oh, so why is that? You didn't enjoy yourself?"

Justin's tone changed even more. "It was the best time of my life, but she died a few days later. That's why we never went again."

Brian suddenly felt like a total idiot. He realized he should have caught the sadness in the young man's voice when he mentioned his mother. Brian had no love lost for his own mother and hadn't even said good bye to her when he pulled up stakes and left his hometown for good, but he loved Debbie like a mother and knew he would be devastated if she passed away. He could understand why Justin felt such pain, since he had been so young when he lost his mother. He quickly changed the subject.

"I'm sorry to hear that. So have you always known you wanted to be an artist?"

Justin was grateful for the change in direction the conversation was taking.

"Always," he answered proudly. "My dad hated my interest in the Arts, but it didn't matter to me. I knew who I was going to be and nothing that bastard could say was going to change a thing."

"So you and your old man didn't see eye to eye on things? Welcome to the club. My old man was a pathetic drunk who wanted me to be a football jock and make a fortune as a pro so I could support him in his old age."

"But you had other plans, and he couldn't stop you," Justin interrupted. "Sounds like we have something in common."

Brian turned his head away from the road long enough to give Justin a quick once-over, settling on the rather healthy bulge in his pants. 

"I suspect we have more than one thing in common," he remarked, his voice growing slightly husky.

Justin felt a tingle run up and down his spine. He knew a come-on when he heard it, and it had been a long time since anyone so good-looking and agreeable had bothered to give him that kind of attention. It felt good. He had almost forgotten how much he liked the feeling of being wanted, especially by someone he found himself attracted to as well. A minute later he responded to Brian's hint.

"So, does your family know that you prefer men over women?" he asked curiously.

"My family doesn't know a fucking thing about who I am....and that's the way I like it. I haven't spoken to any of them in over a decade. Does your father know the truth?" Brian asked, turning it around on Justin.

"No, and that's the way I like it too. I became an orphan when my Mom died. I literally raised myself. I guess you might say, I have only myself to blame for however I turned out."

Brian grinned. "Doesn't sound...or look....to me like you turned out so bad, kid."

"I told you, I'm not a kid. I just had my twenty-first birthday. Besides I've been on my own for a long time. I'll bet I've been through as much as you have. Have you left behind any broken hearts when you moved on?" Justin added, repaying Brian for getting so personal.

Brian laughed out loud. "I don't do boyfriends, if that's what you're asking....and I doubt if any of my casual pick-ups were broken-hearted when I left town. My turn now...did you leave behind any broken hearts?"

Justin squirmed in his seat. The conversation had begun to hit too close to his sore spot. He did his best to sound casual when he answered Brian's question, but the older man sensed there was more to the story.

"I had one semi-serious relationship, but it's been over for a long time now. I told Debbie about it when she interviewed me. You must have missed that part. I'm sure he won't miss me too much. He has looks and money. I doubt if he'll be alone for long. It was time for us both to move on. I'm ready to see what else is out there."

"Well trust me ki...Justin, there is plenty out there. You just need to know where to look. I'll be happy to be your guide. That is, if you would like a little help. The pickings are lean within the company. Almost all the gays are already paired up, and they are committed to each other...well, for the most part. A few of us have learned how and where to find our fun in different cities we visit during the Season, however, so we can help you find some companionship."

Justin smiled over at Brian. "Thanks, but I'm not really looking for anybody right now. I just want to settle into my new job and drink in the whole experience. I'll let you know when I'm ready for more though."

Brian seemed to think this over before he responded. 

"Does this mean no hanky panky for the two of us?"

"What?" came the shocked reply.

Without any notice, Brian suddenly pulled his Jeep off to the shoulder of the road near a stand of trees. He put the vehicle in 'park', turned off the engine, and turned to Justin.

"I find you very attractive, Justin. Don't worry, I'm not talking about a relationship. I just thought you might enjoy a little fun playing around. Just two guys having a good time kind of thing. If you're not interested, that's not a problem at all. I respect any boundaries you want to enforce."

Justin's mouth fell open as he turned to face Brian. He had been approached before...more than once...but never quite so boldly. The truth was that he rather liked Brian's direct approach. Justin had had enough of hearts and flowers and phony promises of forever love. Quickly, before he could change his mind, Justin leaned forward and placed his hands on Brian's freshly-shaven cheeks. A moment later his lips were glued to Brian's. 

Cars and trucks whizzed past the parked Jeep as the two men inside found themselves kissing with ever-mounting passion. Brian couldn't believe how delicious the young man's lips were. He tasted sweet and Brian enjoyed the sensation of poking his tongue against Justin's pearly white teeth to demand they separate so he could gain entry inside that warm, inviting mouth. The kiss led to more kissing and before either man had the time to think better of it, they were soon groping one another through their tight jeans. 

Oblivious to the danger they were in of being caught by a passing highway patrolman or anyone else, the two men lost themselves in the delicious feeling of having their burgeoning cocks popped out of their pants and being stroked vigorously at the same time mouths were exploring lips, faces, and necks. Both men used their free hand to pull up shirts, exposing naked chests and waiting nipples. Lips moved down until mouths could clamp onto the tiny buds. The men took turns nipping and sucking on the soft buds until they bloomed into hard nubs from the pleasure they were receiving. A few minutes later anyone passing by would have only spotted one figure in the parked Jeep as Brian bent down to engulf Justin's cock in his hot mouth. 

Justin had not once in his life had a sexual experience in a public place, but he couldn't have...or wouldn't have...stopped Brian from sucking him off in this wide open space if his very life had depended on it. It had been a long time since he had felt a connection to anyone. He hadn't been touched since telling Ethan to go to hell and his body had almost forgotten how good it felt. Actually, his mind was beginning to register the fact that it had never felt so good before. Obviously Brian Kinney was skilled at more than just flying through the air on a trapeze. Ethan had always told Justin that no one could give head better than his blond boyfriend, but Justin was pretty sure that Brian could give him a run for his money. 

The feelings that Brian brought out in him made Justin long for it to never end, but of course it had to eventually. Brian masterfully brought Justin to the brink of orgasm a number of times but always slowed down so that the feelings could last. Finally he didn't hold back any longer and he heard the young man above him start to pant harder and harder until he was moaning deep in his throat. Justin's hands roughly pulled at Brian's hair as the feelings intensified and then he suddenly let out a loud gasp and thrust his hips upwards, forcing his juices to flow down Brian's throat. Brian was in no hurry to let Justin go. The blond tasted like the nectar of the gods. He slowly and gently licked and massaged Justin's softening cock with his mouth and tongue until it was clean as a whistle. He sat up and grinned like the kitty who had just brought his prize catch home to his master. 

Justin grabbed Brian's face again and kissed him, his gratitude overflowing. He welcomed the taste of himself on Brian's tongue. More than anything on earth, he wanted to repay the gift he'd just been given. He had never felt more alive. He wrapped his hand around Brian's throbbing cock and re-positioned himself so that he could go down on Brian just as the older man had done to him. This time a passerby would only see the dark hair of a tall man leaning far back behind the wheel of his Jeep as they drove by. Justin proceeded to prove to Brian that he was every bit as talented with his mouth and tongue as Brian was, even if he had less experience by a decade or more. He was a natural, and he soon had Brian writhing in his seat as the young man brought him to the same totally satisfying climax. When Justin's head came up, Brian offered him the same thank you kiss that he had received. 

It took a while for the two men to straighten themselves up. Once shirts were back in place, cocks were tucked safely back into shorts, and pants were zipped back up Brian restarted the Jeep and pulled back into traffic. Things went quiet between the two men again until Justin asked if Brian would be able to catch up with the caravan. He laughed and told Justin not to worry. Even if he didn't catch up, he knew where they were going. He reassured Justin that they wouldn't get lost. Justin said he wasn't worried and then sat back, watching the miles quickly fade away in his rear view mirror. It took almost a half hour but Justin finally spotted the large truck they had been following when they first left the old circus grounds. Once Brian had caught up he lowered his speed by almost twenty miles per hour and fell into a comfortable pace behind the truck. 

It was then that Justin realized how much his life had already changed. He was no longer bound to his old life by anything. His father wouldn't care that he had left town. His ex-boyfriend had no right to know he had left. His best friend would still be his best friend, even from a distance. His school would still be there if and when he decided to finish up his education. The only thing he cared about in his hometown was his mother's grave, but somehow he knew she would approve of his choice to leave. In his heart he was certain that his mother would be happy for him. 

It was then that he said, "If only my Mom could see me now." When Brian asked him to repeat himself, Justin simply explained that he had never been so excited about the future. His enthusiasm was contagious. Brian couldn't remember anyone making him feel so good about things either. As they drove on to their next scheduled town, Justin's first one as a member of the circus family, Brian glanced over at his passenger and smiled. 'I think I'm really going to like this kid', he thought to himself. 

Out loud, Brian responded to Justin's explanation, "I'm glad you're thinking positive about working for the circus Justin. It will make it a lot more fun for you. And you know, I think we're going to be great friends."

The trapeze artist had no idea how prophetic his words would turn out to be.

To be continued...........................