A few hours after getting back to the loft, Brian was lying on his couch while Michael sat in one of the Barcelona chairs. Johnny Cash's "Home of the Blues" was playing on the loft's surround sound system and Brian was singing along in between puffs on a joint.

"The sun never shines through this window of mine. It's dark at the home of the blues," Brian sang out, slightly off-key.

"Jesus Christ, this is depressing," Michael grumbled.

"Hey, I asked you if you wanted to share this with me, but you said no," Brian said before taking another puff.

"I'm the designated driver, I can't," Michael said, waving the second-hand smoke out of his face.

Brian blew out another cloud of smoke before continuing to sing: "So if you just lost your sweetheart, and it seems there's no good way to choose. Come along with me, misery loves company. You're welcome at the home of the blues."

"Wonderful," Michael said dryly.

Although Brian had tried to put on a brave front after they had left the hospital, Michael knew that Brian was torn up inside after Justin's rejection.

"What the fuck was I even thinking, getting involved with some eighteen year-old blonde boy, anyway?" Brian asked on the way home. "I mean, this is me we're talking about. I never do repeats, right?"

"Mm-hmm," Michael said as he stared ahead at the road.

"I'm not going to lie- the kid was a great fuck," Brian continued. "Ass as tight as a fucking drum... and even though he was a virgin when I got a hold of him, he was a natural. That kid was born to suck and fuck."

"Really?" Michael said, although it wasn't a question.

"And although he's a short, skinny thing, his dick was perfect. Not as big as mine, of course, but it was beautiful."

"Did you let him top you?" Michael asked.

"No... but I was tempted to," Brian confessed.

Michael raised his eyebrows. "Wow."

"But, he's history now," Brian said as he waved his left hand dismissively. "Just like the rest of them."

"Uh-huh," Michael said, not trying too hard to mask his doubt.

Back at the loft, Elvis's "Heartbreak Hotel" came on the CD changer next, and Michael couldn't stand it anymore after Brian warbled out the first couple of verses. Despite the fact that Brian was now thoroughly toasted after taking another Vicodin to relieve the pain in his hand after getting home, he was nearly in tears.

"You make me so lonely baby, I get so lonely. I get so lonely I could die..." Brian sang pitifully.

"Alright, that's it," Michael said as he stood up. "I'm going to go and get us something for lunch and when I get back, you better be in a happier mood."

"I am happy," Brian claimed, appearing anything but. "Why shouldn't I be? I'm young, I'm hung, I'm drop dead gorgeous... I'm fabulous. In fact, I'm the most fabulous fag in Pittsburgh... if it's even possible to be a fabulous fag in Pittsburgh."

"Right," Michael said before yanking the door open. "Just promise me that you'll stay on the couch until I get back, that you won't do anything stupid?"

"I couldn't get my ass up from this couch if it caught on fire," Brian said.

Michael then walked back over and picked up Brian's lighter that was sitting on top of his belly. "In that case, I better take this."

"Asshole," Brian snarled before Michael closed the door behind himself.

******************

A half an hour later, Michael walked down the hallway of the hospital with authority. He turned into Justin's room, where the blonde and his mother were finishing up lunch. Michael noticed that Justin was now without his IV line, which was a good sign that he was getting better.

"Can I speak to Justin alone, please?" Michael asked Jennifer.

"Do you ever knock?" Justin asked in an annoyed tone.

Jennifer picked up her drink and her purse. "I need to run an errand, anyway."

"Mom," Justin said, willing her to stay.

"I'll be back in an hour or so, Honey," Jennifer said before leaving.

Michael walked behind her to close the door, then walked back to stand in front of Justin's hospital bed. "Alright, you little shit-"

"Excuse me?" Justin said.

"For your information, Brian is a complete fucking mess right now, and it's all your fault."

"Oh, it's my fault?" Justin asked. "So I made him bring a trick back to the loft when he knew full well I was there?"

"No, but you didn't even give him a chance to explain himself."

"What's to explain? Brian obviously wants to fuck whoever he wants, whether I like it or not. He did a great job proving that the other night."

"Brian only did that because he had been drinking and took GHB, which is a dangerous to combine with alcohol but also makes you hornier than hell," Michael said. "He doesn't even remember taking the GHB or bringing that trick home, which means he blacked out."

"Well, they say that your true self comes out when you're drunk or on drugs, so everything that Brian did that night was what he wanted to do."

Michael scoffed. "I almost fucked a girl when I was drunk at a party back in high school, and that's certainly not my ‘true self,' so I don't know who the fuck your source is. We only stopped because I couldn't get it up. Whether it was the alcohol or the fact that I'm allergic to pussy, I don't know..."

Justin rolled his eyes.

"The point is, Brian didn't go to Babylon the other night to get his dick sucked or to find a trick to bring home," Michael continued. "That's just what ended up happening, because he let his drinking get out of hand."

"Well, I really don't want to be involved with a guy that has to drink or do drugs to have a good time," Justin said. "Especially when I'm not even supposed to do any of that stuff, ever. And I wouldn't want to have to worry about him every time he goes somewhere without me."

"Then that's something you need to discuss with Brian, but if he was able to stop smoking, which he's been doing every day since he was like, twelve, then he can quit the other shit, no problem. He doesn't do drugs every time he goes out, and he doesn't always drink that much."

Justin sighed. "It's not just the drugs and the drinking. I want to be with a man that only wants to be with me, who doesn't feel the need to fuck other guys, whether he's drunk, high, or not."

Michael crossed his arms over his chest. "Justin... you've got to understand what it's like to be a guy like Brian. I don't know how much he's told you about his childhood, but he had it rough growing up."

Justin nodded. "He told me that his dad was an abusive drunk and his mom was a heartless bitch."

"That sums it up, yeah," Michael said. "He never felt loved or felt like he was anything special. Then when he was fourteen, he suddenly realized that there were guys out there that wanted him. We would sneak out and go over to Liberty Avenue, and guys would line up for the chance to suck his dick or take it up their ass. He was in heaven, and it only got better the older he got. Brian never gets turned down, like, ever. Even other tops will bend over for him. He's built his life on his ability to fuck whoever he wants... and then you came along."

"I'm sorry I ruined his perfect life," Justin said sarcastically.

"No, his life wasn't ‘perfect,'" Michael said. "Actually, Brian thought his life was over shortly before he met you. He almost killed himself the day after he turned thirty."

"What?" Justin asked, sitting up straighter.

"Yeah. It was the day before I was to leave with David to move to Portland. Emmett was throwing me a Bon Voyage party at his apartment, and everyone but Brian showed up. Me and David ended up having a fight because I was pissed that he was trying to make all of my decisions for me, and I went over to the loft to get away from David and to see why Brian didn't come.

"I knocked on Brian's door, but he didn't answer. His Jeep was parked outside, so I knew he was in there, plus I could hear music playing through the door. I used my key to get in, and I found Brian hanging from the rafters."

A look of horror came over Justin's face. "Hang... hanging?"

"He had looped a scarf around one of the ceiling beams, and then he climbed up on one of the dining room chairs and tied the scarf around his neck," Michael said. "To make matters worse, he was jerking off at the same time."

"Autoerotic asphyxiation," Justin said.

Michael raised a questioning eyebrow. "And where did you learn about that?"

"I can read, you know."

Michael chuckled. "Well, I climbed up on the chair and pulled him loose. He had been drinking and snorting coke, but he basically said that he didn't care if he had killed himself or not. He felt like he had nothing to live for, because God forbid there was now a three in front of his age."

"Well, thirty is old," Justin said.

"I'm thirty, so fuck you," Michael said.

Justin gave him a smile.

"Seeing him like that almost made me not go to Portland, but I ultimately decided to go because I loved David. I still love him, but..."

"You love Brian, too," Justin pointed out.

Michael nodded. "Yeah, I do. But over the past couple of days, I've realized that he loves you... more than he'll ever love me."

A look of shock came over Justin's face. "Did he actually say he loved me?"

"No, but he didn't have to. You should have seen him yesterday when we didn't know what was wrong with you. He was nearly out of his mind with worry... I mean shit, he even broke his hand after punching a vending machine!"

"He did what?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, did you not notice the splint on his right hand?"

Justin shook his head. "I wasn't paying attention."

"He tried to buy a bag of pretzels from the vending machine on the ICU floor, and when the bag got stuck against the glass, he punched the glass, which thankfully didn't break. And even after sitting in the ER for nearly three hours and knowing that he may not have been able to see you last night, he hung around the hospital on the chance that he'd get to talk to you."

"And I threw him out," Justin said, guiltily looking down at his lap.

"Yeah, you did," Michael said. "But even after that, he still didn't want to leave you. He ended up sleeping out in the Jeep, because he didn't want to go home until you gave him the chance to explain himself."

Justin's jaw dropped. "He spent the night in the Jeep?"

"Oh, yeah, I found him in there this morning. I practically had to force him to go home and get himself cleaned up. I had to help him in the shower, and I had to shave his face for him."

"I bet you loved getting to see him naked," Justin said in a smarmy tone.

"I'll admit that I enjoyed the view, but he needed my help," Michael said. "He was in a lot of pain. I tried to get him to take a nap, since I'm sure he didn't sleep worth a damn in the Jeep, but he insisted on coming back here to see if your test results had come back yet."

Justin sighed. "And then I threw him out again."

"You didn't just throw him out- you dumped his ass. But even then..." Michael paused to chuckle. "Even then, Brian didn't want to leave. He threw his keys at me and told me get out of his face."

"I thought I heard you guys yelling out in the hall," Justin said.

"A security guard came over and asked us to get out because we were making too much noise. Even with his broken hand, Brian was a heartbeat away from going at it with the guard before I told him he was about to get us arrested. Now he's back at the loft singing sappy old love songs."

Justin put his hands over his eyes. "God."

"I have never seen him like this before," Michael said. "Even when his father was in the hospital earlier this year dying of cancer, Brian never once went to visit him. If it hadn't been for that security guard, he'd still be holding vigil out in the hallway."

"Even if my dad never speaks to me again, I'd at least try to see him one last time if I knew he was dying," Justin said.

"Well, maybe you'll feel different if that day ever comes," Michael said. "But if Brian showing that much concern for you proves anything, even after you threw him out of your room and told him you were through with him, it's that he wants you in his life."

Justin picked at a hangnail for a few moments. "Why are you doing this? I mean, I thought you hated me. I would have imagined that you'd be thrilled to get me out of Brian's life."

Michael smirked. "I admit that I don't see what Brian sees in you, but for whatever reason, Brian loves you. More than anything, I want Brian to be happy, and if you can make him happy..."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Michael walked over to answer it and found a nurse standing outside.

"Hi, I need to take Justin's blood pressure and temperature," she said.

Michael stepped aside for her to come in.

He then looked at Justin and said, "You know where to find him, if you change your mind."

Justin looked at Michael with a blank expression before Michael left the room.