Later that evening...

"... and it really fucking sucks how you've been treating him lately," Debbie growled into the phone as Brian took a hit off his cigarette.

He should have known that Debbie would have gotten an earful from Michael that day, after Brian had ordered him not to call him at work anymore. As usual, Mama Bear was defending her little cub, cussing out the Big Bad Wolf.

Brian was almost relieved when he heard a knock at his door, although he wasn't expecting anyone. "Deb..."

"... has been nothing but loyal to you for sixteen fucking years-"

"Deborah Jane Grassi Novotny!" Brian yelled into the phone.

"What?" Debbie screeched.

"Someone's at my door. I've gotta go."

Debbie snorted. "Your suitor for the evening?"

Brian stubbed out his cigarette and hoisted himself off the couch. "Yeah, DicksRUs.com is running a two-for-one special tonight."

Another snort. "Well, remember, Portland is three hours behind us, so give Michael a call when you're done."

"Yes, Mother," Brian said in a falsetto tone before ending the call on the cordless phone and pulling the door open. He nearly dropped the phone when he found Justin standing in front of him.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Justin asked tentatively.

It took Brian a moment to find his voice, which came out in a strangled rasp. "Uh... no." He cleared his throat and stepped aside. "No. Come on in."

Justin walked into the loft and looked around the spacious area in awe. "You have a really nice place."

Brian pulled his door closed and locked it automatically. He hoped Justin hadn't heard the lock click in place, thinking he was now Brian's prisoner or something. "Thanks."

The blonde turned to look at him. "I went by Torso earlier, and Emmett told me where you lived... I hope you don't mind my coming over uninvited."

Such a polite young man... Mommy and Daddy must be so proud, Brian thought to himself with a smirk. "I'm in the phone book, so it's no secret where I live." My loft gets as many visitors as Graceland, anyway...

Justin nodded as he eyed Brian's white couch. "Mind if I sit?"

Brian motioned for Justin to have a seat before sitting the phone down on his desk. He slowly walked over and sat down on the opposite side of the couch. Why the fuck am I so nervous? he asked himself. I feel like a virgin on prom night.

"So, Emmett told me that he and Ted apologized to you this morning for their, as he called it, ‘faux pas' last night," Justin said.

Brian shrugged. "If there's one thing you can rely on a fag to do, it's gossip; especially if it's about someone who has more sex than you do."

Justin grinned. "Well, after he apologized, he did a bit more gossiping about you."

"Of course he did," Brian muttered, shaking his head. "And what else did my dear friend have to say?"

"He told me that you haven't been quite the same since you turned thirty last week..." Justin began.

Great, now the kid knows how old I am, Brian quietly groused. Note to self: kill Emmett "Can't Keep His Fucking Mouth Shut" Honeycutt. And Theodore too; he's almost as bad.

"... and since your best friend Michael moved to Oregon."

Brian sighed. "Yeah, well... that's life. We all get older and our friends move away."

Justin nodded slowly. "He also said that from what he knows, last night was the first night you've gone out since Michael left."

Brian put his feet up on his coffee table, trying to play it cool. "Michael's been gone for less than a week, so it's not like I'd spent the whole winter hibernating here or anything. Besides, I thought I'd take it upon myself to initiate you into the Liberty Avenue nightlife."

Justin let out a little giggle. "Thanks, but..." He thought for a few moments before moving to stand up. "Never mind. I... I shouldn't have come."

Brian grabbed Justin's left arm and pulled him back down. "You just got here." He then noticed a grimace on Justin's face. "Are you okay?"

"Uh... yeah," Justin answered as he rubbed his forearm, which was covered in a red long-sleeved shirt, with his right hand.

"Aren't you a little warm in that shirt? It got above eighty today," Brian said.

"Well, that's kind of why I came over..."

Brian then asked in sexy tone of voice as he moved closer to Justin, "Why? Because you're... hot?"

"I've been told that I'm hot by at least a hundred guys in the past few days, so it must be true," Justin answered with a smile. "But no, I came over to ask you something, and, contingent on your response, to tell you something."

Brian tried to hide his disappointment, as he was hoping that Justin had come over to do a lot more with his mouth than talk. He crossed his arms over his chest before saying, "Ask away."

"Well..." Justin paused and looked down at his lap, a blush appearing on his face that nearly matched his shirt. "I came over here because I was wanting to know how you feel about me. I mean, I know we've only known each other for a couple days, and I know you don't do boyfriends or dates, and you're like, twelve years older than me and a lot more experienced, and maybe you only see me as a one-time fuck or not even that, I don't know, but Emmett said that we look really cute together and that you've never invited anyone but your friends out to Babylon before, and-"

"Whoa," Brian said as he placed a hand on Justin's thigh. "Take a breath."

Justin inhaled deeply, as Brian instructed. "I'm sorry. I tend to ramble when I'm nervous. You should see me try to give a speech in front of people. One time I was trying to read a short story out loud in my English class, and I had to run out of the room to throw up."

Brian laughed. "Yeah, I used to be that way, too. I had to give presentations all the time in college, and eventually I got over my stage fright."

"So... is there something between us?" Justin asked. "Or am I just acting like a love-struck teenage girl right now? Because when you invited me to Babylon yesterday, I thought that maybe..."

Brian rolled in his lips and thought about what to say. He couldn't deny that Justin had been on his mind since he first saw the boy in the diner. It wasn't rare for Brian to pursue a guy he wanted to fuck, but if the guy got away from him, much like Justin had the night before, he normally forgot all about them by the next day.

"Of course I want to fuck you, but like Emmett said, I don't do boyfriends. I also don't do love. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid. Then, they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with."

"And how would you know that?" Justin asked. "Have you ever actually been in love?"

"No, but..." Brian stopped himself before going any further. He didn't want to open his old childhood wounds in front of someone he hardly knew. "I prefer to just fuck and leave it at that," he said instead. "You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit."

Justin stared at Brian for a few moments, wondering what had happened in the man's life to make him so cynical and detached. He knew plenty of straight couples who had happy, successful relationships. His parents had been together for almost twenty-five years, and although it had been difficult coping with Justin's health problems, especially since he had started dialysis, they were still in love. At least Justin hoped they were.

"Any more questions?" Brian asked.

Justin shook his head.

"Do I get to hear your grand confession now, or are you going to show yourself out?"

When Justin had decided that he was going to find out where Brian lived and go to talk to him, he told himself that he would only disclose his health problems if Brian admitted that he had feelings for him and wanted to pursue a relationship. He didn't want to get involved if all that Brian wanted was to make him another notch on his bedpost. After hearing Brian's feelings about relationships and love, however, Justin couldn't allow himself to walk away. He felt sorry for him, which said a lot coming from someone with the kind of problems he had.

Justin pulled up his left sleeve and held his arm out to Brian.

"What the hell?" Brian asked, obviously disturbed at what he was seeing. The inside of Justin's arm was covered in a rainbow of bruises. His pale skin also showed scarring from numerous needle punctures and the surgery to create his access site.

"I've been on hemodialysis for almost two years," Justin answered. "I go in for treatments three times a week, four hours each time."

Brian ran his index finger lightly over Justin's bruises. "Uh... well, what happened? I mean..."

"I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was six; that's the kind where you're insulin dependent. Throughout my childhood, I looked at the disease as an enemy, and I always challenged it. I hated not being able to eat sweets like all the other kids, and I always hated having to give myself shots and test my blood sugar throughout the day. I would sneak junk food and skip my injections, which would piss off my parents. Then I would end up in the hospital a couple times a year, because I was hardheaded and refused to surrender to my disease or to my parents.

"About four years ago, my kidney function started to decline and I got really depressed. My kidneys continued to get worse and I totally stopped caring about my body. One day, I fell into a coma because my blood sugar got so high. I was out for a couple of days, and when I woke up, they told me that my kidney function had dropped to below fifteen percent, which required me to start dialysis. They performed surgery to create what is called a fistula, which is where they join together a vein and an artery in your arm, and that's where they put the catheters to pump my blood in and out during the treatments.

"The fistula took a month to heal, so before they could use that they had to do it here." Justin pulled the collar of his shirt down to reveal a light pink scar right below his collarbone. Like he did on his forearm, Brian ran his finger over the scar, which caused Justin to shiver a bit.

"By that point, I had missed a lot of school and was told I would have to retake my junior year, so that was when I dropped out. I started going to therapy, which improved my outlook on life. I now do everything my doctors tell me to do, and I am healthy... well, as healthy as I can be, given the circumstances."

"Will you be on dialysis forever?" Brian asked.

"Either until I get a kidney transplant or I die," Justin said wearily. "I've been on the national transplant list since I started dialysis, but so far, there's been no match. I have type O blood, which can only receive blood and organ donations from others with type O. My mom also has type O, but she's not a close enough tissue match to donate to me. My dad has type A blood, so he can't donate. None of our family members are suitable donors."

"How long do people on the transplant list usually have to wait before a match is found?"

Justin sighed. "Usually between three to five years, although some wait longer. Transplants aren't always successful and they don't last forever. There's a woman that has her dialysis treatments the same times I do - Annie. Her kidneys failed about twenty years ago, and her sister was a match for her. The kidney failed about eight years later, and she's been back on dialysis ever since. But I've heard that some transplanted kidneys last thirty years or longer."

Brian looked deep into Justin's blue eyes. "I'm type O."

"So?" Justin asked.

"So, maybe I could give you one of my kidneys."