Justin glanced back down to the paper he held in his gloved hand.  The address was unknown to him, but it was accompanied by a hand-drawn map so he was sure he could find the place.  At least he certainly hoped so.  He didn't welcome the thought of being stuck out here on his own in this god-forsaken place in the middle of one of the coldest Winters in Canadian history.  The inside of his rental car felt cold despite the working heater that blew warmth into the air.  For the tenth time since pulling out of the rental lot, Justin cursed himself for not hiring a driver to take him where he needed to go.  At least a local driver would have some idea where he was going.  These rural roads seemed a lot more confusing than those of the city.  

Checking the map again, Justin looked out into the snowy scene outside his car and tried to read the road sign in order to get his bearings.  Comparing his map with the sign, he realized he was on the right path to Mel and Lindsay's new house.  Thinking of his dear friends, who had been like big sisters to him for seven years now, made Justin smile.  Getting the chance to see Brian's son, Gus again made the smile even broader.  Justin had missed Gus terribly in the last couple of years.  He had only seen the boy through skyping online and in photos.  He was anxious to see him in person.  At seven years old, Gus showed every sign of being a gorgeous man like his father someday.  Anything that made Justin think of Brian made him happy.  Seeing Gus for Thanksgiving was bound to help Justin forget how disappointed he was in not seeing Brian for the second Thanksgiving in a row.  

Thanksgiving was no big deal for Brian.  Justin could still remember how Brian tried to avoid Thanksgiving gatherings at anyone's house, even Debbie's place in the past.  Justin had prayed that Brian would join him for Thanksgiving after they had separated when he had moved to New York City.  It hadn't happened.  It hadn't been easy for Justin to get the airfare for a flight back to Pittsburgh to spend the holiday with his mother and sister, but he had managed it somehow.  Brian had offered to pay, as did his mother, but Justin was determined to make it on his own.  He had spent enough time living off Brian's generosity.  He had made up his mind that he wouldn't do anything or buy anything he couldn't afford for himself from the very first day he settled into the tiny little apartment he shared with Daphne's friend in New York.  He had gotten by on his savings from the money he made in Hollywood and from the comic, Rage, until he finally started selling some of his pieces at a couple of galleries that took an interest in his work.  

The prime reason that Justin was so determined to get back to Pittsburgh for that first Thanksgiving after leaving the Pitts was to have the chance to spend some quality time with Brian.  It hadn't happened.  Mel and Linds had invited Brian to spend the holiday with them in Canada.  Brian had refused at first, but Gus changed all that.  He had gotten on the phone and begged his dad to come.  Gus' plaintive six-year-old voice was too much for Brian to resist.  He put others in charge of his two businesses and flew away, leaving just before Justin arrived.  Justin flew back home the day before Brian returned.  

Justin did get the chance to make love to Brian in their beloved loft again a month later when Brian convinced Justin to accept a plane ticket home as his Christmas gift, but their visits were so few and far between ever since then.  It had taken another six months before Justin could call himself a profitable artist.  More than one critic had given such glowing reviews on his work after a showing in May that he was finally able to pay all his bills with his sales and put a bit away for the future at the same time.  That meant long hours and daily time spent on creating more and more paintings.  Justin was proving to be a prolific painter, and it left him little time for anything else.  

Meanwhile, Brian juggled his two enterprises which also kept him fully occupied.  The reopening of Babylon had been a huge success, making Popperz second place in club boy's hearts again.  In addition to that, Brian worked hard at building his advertising business with a goal towards being number one in the local market.  There was little opportunity to make even the fastest run up to New York City to see Justin.  The couple kept in constant contact through their computers and phone, with more phone sex ending their nights together than either expected, but neither had time for many face-to-face meetings.  They had only gotten together a half dozen or so times since last Christmas.  It was a totally unsatisfactory situation for both men, but they kept their feelings to themselves.  

Missing Brian so much had a lot to do with Justin accepting the invitation to spend Thanksgiving with Mel, Linds, and Gus.  He would have gone to his mother's again like last year but Jennifer was a recent newlywed, and although Justin had learned to accept Tucker, he was still not comfortable with the guy.  On top of that, his father had married a girl even younger than Tucker.  Justin needed an excuse to stay away from Pittsburgh this year and visiting Canada was perfect.  Nothing would have kept him away from Pittsburgh if Brian was going to be there but he had already informed Justin that he would be out of town for a client.  Brian had sounded almost relieved to be on a trip during the holidays.  Somehow that made Justin feel worse.  Maybe Brian didn't care about Thanksgiving, but he could have sounded a little more disappointed at not getting the chance to see his sometime lover because of the business trip.  That hurt, but Justin would make do with seeing Gus.  It was as close to a piece of Brian that he was going to get this holiday.

*************************************************************************

Brian tried hard to avoid looking at the wall clock for the hundredth time.  Justin was late.  He had told Mel that he should arrive no later than noon and it was already nearly two in the afternoon.  The snow was still falling outside the quaint old farmhouse the girls had bought this Summer in order to give Gus lots of room to spread his wings.  It was a little over a half hour's drive from the city where Mel had found a job with a law firm earlier in the year after getting her license to practice law in their new home.  Linds had found work teaching art at a small school twenty minutes away.  They had discovered this place through one of the other teachers and were thrilled to get out of the small cramped rental house they had lived in before.  Gus was the happiest one with their relocation.  

The first time Brian had visited his son at the farmhouse, he had groused constantly about the isolation from the big city.  "You're going to turn my son into some kind of country bumpkin," he would complain loudly whenever Gus was out of earshot.  That all changed by the time he left for the airport when he saw how supremely happy Gus was with all the space he had to go exploring in while using his vivid imagination. That included having the ability now to have several pets that were once forbidden due to space and responsibilities.   Seeing how happy Gus was finally shut Brian up.  He actually found himself looking forward to his monthly visits to see Gus after that.  The two, father and son, spent hours checking out the five acres that came with the farm and visiting the small stream that ran through the property.  Of course, there would be no exploring with this kind of weather.  

Thinking of the cold outdoors brought a fresh burst of anxiety coursing through Brian's veins.  'Where was that blond?'  If anything happened to Justin, Brian would never forgive himself for setting up this whole surprise holiday visit.  It had seemed such a great idea at first, but now Brian wasn't so sure.  He hadn't counted on such bad weather.  What if something went wrong?  What if Justin had an accident on ice or snow?  What if....?  

"Oh fuck!" Brian said out loud.  

Gus giggled.  "Daddy said a bad word, Mommy," Gus announced to Lindsay.

"I know, Gus," she answered.  "I think your dad is worried about Uncle Justin.  Am I right, Brian?"

Brian looked at the mother of his only child.  She always had been able to read him.  

"I'm sorry, Son.  Your mother's right.  Your Uncle Justin should have been here by now and I don't like the way it keeps snowing."

Gus walked away from the fireplace where he was standing between his two mommies and moved over to his dad.  He adored Brian.  It wasn't the gifts he brought every time he came for a visit...gifts that Brian always picked out himself, unlike when Gus was a newborn.  It was the way that Brian talked to him and never treated him like a baby, something his moms did quite frequently.  He didn't just love his dad, he was in awe of the very tall man.  All he wanted was to be just like him when he grew up.  There was one other thing he wanted.  He wanted his dad to be happy again.  He was too young to understand all the whys and wherefores, but he always sensed a kind of melancholy in his dad.  This strange mood seemed to come over him more whenever Uncle Justin's name came up.  Sometimes they would skype with Justin when his dad was visiting and Gus could see the change in his dad the moment that Justin's face was on camera and he heard his voice.  Being so young, he simply couldn't see any reason that his dad didn't live with Justin anymore.  Despite his youth, he knew it was wrong.

Gus reached out his hand and grabbed hold of Brian's.  He squeezed.

"Don't worry, Daddy.  Uncle Justin will be here.  He wants to see you as much as you want to see him."  Gus smiled up at Brian reassuringly.

"I'm sure you're right, Gus, but don't you remember...he doesn't know I'm going to be here.  He thinks I'm on a business trip.  We are going to surprise him."

Gus thought for a second and then nodded.  He had forgotten, but now he remembered.  He had heard his dad telling his mommies that he had a big surprise for Justin, one that could change their lives forever.  He had sounded so serious at the time.  Gus hoped it would be a good thing.  He squeezed his dad's hand again.  Brian bent over and hugged Gus tightly.  Gus and Justin...the two most important people in Brian's life.  He couldn't...he wouldn't imagine life without either one of them being a part of it.  Brian gazed out the window through the open curtains and let his mind wander back to early in November.

************************************************************

Everything was so perfect in Brian's life.  Both the club and his ad agency were bona fide successes.  He had both his homes fully paid for now and no real debts.  His savings account was ever increasing thanks to careful investing.  His relationship with Gus had grown stronger since the boy was whisked off to Canada, thanks to visits made every chance that Brian had some free time.  Of course there was that one little fly in the ointment.  Brian was actually a very lonely man.  

Brian still spent plenty of time with his Liberty Avenue gang but all of them knew he had changed.  They could see that something was missing despite the cheerful face that Brian always presented during their get-togethers.  They all knew what...or rather who...was missing, but no one dared to bring it up anymore.  Debbie had made the mistake of stating the obvious to the boys within earshot of Brian not long after Justin had left town.  When they realized she had been overheard, the look on Brian's face said it all.  All of them were careful to avoid the topic near Brian from then on.  As for Brian, he contented himself with an occasional visit to New York although Justin insisted he use his free time to see Gus.  It was typical of Justin to think that seeing Gus was more important and made Brian love him even more.  But, of course, this meant he saw much less of Justin than he wanted to.  What was worse was that Justin refused to let Brian pay so that Justin could come home to Pittsburgh more often.  Brian often found himself cursing Justin's pride despite the fact that he respected him even more because of it.  

The fact was, Brian loved Justin more every single day that passed and it was getting harder and harder missing him.  Justin had stated to Brian just before they broke off the engagement, that he didn't want Brian to change.  Well, it was too late.  Brian had changed.  He was no longer a man who was happy being a lone wolf prowling through the pack and picking his next prey.  Yes, he still picked up a trick once in a while but always at the club and almost always for a simple blow job.  He never took a guy back to his loft anymore.  His bed belonged to Justin.  Brian didn't even blink when, almost a year after Justin left, a new guy with great charisma showed up at Babylon and immediately attracted lots of attention.  He no longer cared about owning the title, the 'Stud of Liberty Avenue'.   Brian had other things on his mind.  

All this was on Brian's mind when he got a call from Justin early in November.  Justin had been invited to Canada for Thanksgiving and was looking forward to seeing Brian there.  Hearing Justin's voice brought such a painful stab to Brian's heart.  As he sat there listening to Justin ramble on about his excitement over seeing Gus again, a thought came to Brian out of nowhere.  He had had enough.  He knew at that very moment what had been nagging at him for over a year....he hated his life without Justin being a daily part of it.  All his accomplishments were like ashes in his mouth...all the sweetness gone with no one to share them with.  Like a flash, a plan began formulating in his brain.  Suddenly, he heard Justin's voice piercing through his thoughts.

"Are you still there, Brian?  I asked you if you planned on spending Thanksgiving with Gus in Canada again."

"Uhhh, no," Brian lied.  "Actually, I was planning to but I can't now.  I heard from a very important client just yesterday and he wants to meet with me that week in California.  It's the only time he has available to talk business and I can't afford to lose his account."

"For God's sake, Brian, it's Thanksgiving!  Doesn't this guy have family?"

"Give me a break, Justin.  You know my thoughts on a holiday like Thanksgiving.  You didn't think I was the only American who says, thanks but no thanks, did you?  It's just another day to use as an excuse to overindulge in food and gather with family...half of which you may not even like...and pretend you're thankful for everything even when you're actually miserable about the way your life is going."

Brian tried hard to sound as harsh as he could.  Justin was clearly surprised.

"What's gotten into you?  You sound as if you're angry about something.  I thought things were going really well for you.  At least that's what you led me to believe."

"Things are fine.  And I intend to keep them that way by not losing any business over a silly holiday."

"And what about Gus, then?  You know he'll be disappointed."

"I'll make it up to him.  I'll see him on Christmas.  Maybe you can join us then.  Listen, Justin, I've got to go.  I have a lot to get done for this client in the next couple of weeks before I see him.  We can talk more later."

With that, Brian ended the conversation rather abruptly.  He knew that Justin was upset, but he hadn't been lying.  He had a lot to get done before he saw Justin again...on Thanksgiving Day.  He had every intention of making this a Thanksgiving that Justin would never forget.  First he had to warn Mel, Linds, and his son of his plans.  He had no intention of letting this cat out of the bag.  

******************************************************************

That had been almost three weeks ago.  Now Brian continued pacing while waiting for the chance to spring his surprise.  He checked the wall clock again.  Now Justin really was two hours late.  Brian had waited long enough.  He would find Justin and bring him home to the farmhouse.  Brian started to tell his little family just that when they all heard the sound of a car pulling up in front of the house.  A horn honked several times.  Gus ran to the front window and looked out.  He could see that it was Justin stepping out of the car despite the fact that he was bundled up in a thick jacket with a fur-lined hood covering his blond head.  

"It's Justin," Gus squealed, running for the front door.

Brian stopped him in his tracks.

"Hold on, Sonny Boy!  Don't forget, I'm not here!" Brian reminded him, with his finger to his lips.

Gus grinned.  He loved surprises.  He nodded, seeing the huge grin on his mommy's faces too, and mimicked his dad with his finger pressed to his own lips.  Brian hurried over to the coat closet and hid inside, leaving the door slightly ajar so he could see and hear what was happening.  Gus threw open the door and was immediately scooped up into Justin's arms.  The two lads were obviously thrilled to see each other as they hugged tightly before Justin set Gus back on his feet.  Mel and Linds hurried over to join them and hugs and kisses were passed around.  

Brian could barely breathe.  It had not been that long since he had seen Justin's face.  They had skyped just a week ago, but this time was different.  He could reach out and touch that beautiful face this time.  He had trouble stopping himself.  His heart was racing.  He had never been accused of being a romantic but he found himself thinking all kinds of lesbianic thoughts.  He didn't care.  He wanted that young man.  It was as simple as that.  Brian watched as his love and the others exchanged greetings and moved off to the large parlor room where they could get comfortable.  Mel had taken Justin's jacket from him and brought it over to the coat closet where Brian hid.  She waited until Justin had moved away and opened the door, handing the coat over to Brian.

"Don't make him wait too long, Brian.  I have a feeling that Gus isn't going to be able to hide his secret for very long," she whispered.

Brian nodded his agreement.  He had no intention of waiting long.  He wanted Justin in his arms where he belonged as soon as possible.  Brian sneaked out of the closet and hid himself behind the parlor wall.  He listened as everyone talked over each other in their excitement over seeing each other for the first time in ages.  Brian held his breath.  He was waiting for just the right moment.  It finally came.  The subject turned to Brian.

"I just wish Brian could have been here too," Mel told Justin.  "I know he really wanted to be, but you know how he is about business.  It always comes first with Brian."

Justin started to protest.  "Not with Brian, Mel.  Not anymore.  Gus means more to him than anything, including business.  I'm sure that he would have changed things if he possibly could."

"Still defending me, even when you know I'm nothing but a big asshole, Sunshine?" Brian asked, stepping from his hiding place.

Justin flipped around.  He knew that voice better than any on Earth.  

"Brian!  What...where...why?"

Justin flew off the couch and straight into Brian's waiting arms.  Lips crushed each other.  For a moment, no one else was in the room.  Only the sound of Gus giggling broke the spell.  

"Which question would you like for me to answer first, Sunshine?  The what is simple.  I had no intention of missing a chance to see you again.  The why is a little more complicated.  I have a very important question to ask you and it couldn't be done long distance."

Brian watched Justin's quizzical face as he stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out a familiar little square box.  He opened it to reveal a pair of rings that Justin clearly remembered seeing before.  

"Justin, I don't give a crap if we have a wedding ceremony or not, but I want you to wear this ring and I'll wear mine because we belong to each other.  Time does matter.  I don't want to waste anymore of it without you.  I'm tired of this long distance shit.  Either you move back to Pittsburgh or I move to New York City.  I don't care which.  I do care that we are together.  What do you have to say about that?  Are you going to give me something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving or are you going to break my heart?  Your choice, Sunshine."

Justin looked down into the box Brian held in front of him.  He looked over at his friends.  Gus was nearly blue, holding his breath.  He looked deep into Brian's eyes.  The love that was there was absolutely clear for one and all to see.  Justin reached into the box and removed both rings.  He gathered Brian's right hand in his and placed the larger ring on his finger.  He took the smaller ring and placed it on his own finger.  The room was filled with the sound of cheering, Gus' voice being loudest.

"No matter where it is...together, Brian," Justin whispered as his lips met Brian's again.

Only the Beginning