There's a hero, if you look inside your heart, 
You don't have to be afraid of what you are. 
There's an answer, if you reach into your soul, 
And the sorrow that you know will melt away

Justin's POV:

How could a man who is so secure in himself when it comes to business be so insecure in his personal life? How could your family have done that to you? What blindness did they suffer that prevented them from seeing the man you were going to be when you grew up? I saw it, Brian. That very first night, you could have done anything to me. You could have torn my world apart, but it wasn't in you. You saw this kid, who wanted more than anything to understand the feelings that had been the center of his thoughts for so long, and you let them emerge freely so that I could feel safe in exploring them.

It's true that you can be cruel sometimes, but not for the sake of cruelty. There is always the intention of being cruel to be kind. Take what you did to Michael on his birthday. It was cruel the way you forced him out of the closet with his co-worker, but you knew Michael would never break away from you if you didn't do something drastic. You couldn't even stand that pompous ass Michael was involved with, but you knew that the man was the one Michael wanted so you made it easier for him to turn to good ol' Dr. Dave. I saw the hero in you that night. Others did too, but it took them longer to recognize your motives.

Even when you were cruel to me, when you sent me out into the streets that night that Mr. Good Fuck came over, it was for my own good...or so you thought. You honestly didn't think you would be any good for me. You wanted to protect me from my own infatuation. Didn't work, of course, but your intentions were honorable. Someone else would have taken advantage of my crush and then tossed me aside like a used tissue.

And what about the time you stepped in front of Hobbs when he made that threatening gesture towards me in front of Woody's. I knew in my heart I was safe with you there. That was the only reason I had the guts to speak out to the homophobic prick. Then you saved me from that asshole again when he tried to take away my pride and instill nothing but fear in me on Pride Day. Little things, Brian...those are the things that make you a hero. All the many times that you were there for me and everyone else. Sometimes they didn't even know you were there for them, but you weren't in it for the praise.

Look how you sacrificed almost everything you had spent your life working for just to defeat Stockwell. Your friends thought you'd gone over to the dark side...Debbie's phrase...but in truth you worked with me to bring that bastard down. And when it didn't look like our efforts were paying off, you went above and beyond your duty. I had to tell them what you'd done because that, more than anything, proved what a hero you are. Everyone knows how much of your identity was wrapped up in your business and financial success. You sacrificed both for your community. Oh, I know you said, in your usual flippant way, that it was because he threatened to close the back rooms permanently . We know better.

Oh Brian, if only you could see yourself the way I do...the way many of us do. You'd know that you're a hero to us. You'd learn to love yourself the way we love you. You would understand that there is nothing we want to change about you...not really. You act like nothing makes you afraid, but I know you're afraid that we'll suddenly decide that there is nothing to love about you and walk away. It's not true, you know. I see the real you and I love what I see. You'll never have to feel sorrow or pain at who you are again once you finally see in the mirror what I've always seen...a man whose heart is even more beautiful than his well toned body. Please Brian, please see what I do...see the truth. Brian Kinney is a hero.

*****************************************************

And then a hero comes along, 
With the strength to carry on. 
And you cast your fears aside, 
And you know you can survive. 
So, when you feel like hope is gone, 
Look inside you and be strong. 
And then you'll finally see the truth, 
That a hero lies in you.

It's a long road when you face the world alone; 
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold. 
You can find love if you search within yourself 
And the emptiness you felt will disappear.

Brian's POV:

You almost gave up on me, didn't you Justin? But you just couldn't do it. You couldn't put me down as a hopeless cause. I'm not anymore. Do you know that? And it isn't because of anything I did for myself, Sunshine. It's because of you. It's because you believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. You made me look inside myself and see something worthwhile. I owe you big time for that. It's a debt I'll never be able to repay.

You always see me as some kind of hero, but I'm not. You're the hero Justin. I'll bet you still don't realize that I know what got me out of that scrape with that jerk from work. He made sure I knew that my little blond cutie was the only reason he dropped the lawsuit. He actually thought I sent you to mess with him. He doesn't know how single mindedly you protect the people you love. Like that time when your old man came after me. He was your own flesh and blood, but you fought him like a tiger, and the way you risked it all rather than give in to his bullying...now that's a hero in my book. Even after I abandoned us by throwing you to that stupid Fiddler Fuck, you protected me. That pathetic nephew of mine didn't stand a chance with you on my side.

I never stood a chance either, did I? You came into my life and slowly but surely chipped away at all my pretense and defenses. You made me look inside myself and recognize the fears for what they were...an overwhelming conviction that if I was vulnerable and open, I'd be stomped on again just like my family was always doing to me. Your love made me feel safe, Justin. You're the one who defines a hero, but I feel like one when I'm with you. I'll be able to face anything with you in my corner. As long as you are in my life I'll never have to fill up those empty places inside me with superficial crap again. You fill me up. I can love myself, because you love me, Justin Taylor.

***********************************************

And then a hero comes along 
With the strength to carry on 
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive. 
So, when you feel like hope is gone 
Look inside you and be strong 
And you'll finally see the truth 
That a hero lies in you. 


Lord knows dreams are hard to follow, 
But don't let anyone tear them away. 
Just hold on, there will be tomorrow, 
In time you'll find the way.

Justin POV:

You know, Brian, I'm convinced the only reason I was strong enough to face my family with who I am was because of you. You made me see that being gay was something to be proud of. No regrets...no apologies. Your words stuck in my brain and helped me face my fear of rejection. And even more important than that fear was the way you helped me to face the fears that Hobbs instilled in me. I haven't a doubt that I would not have been able to muster up the strength to face the bashing if it weren't for you. Who knows if I would have ever felt safe being with a man again if you hadn't been there for me? Just another example of why you are a hero to me, Brian.

One more thing...my dream of being an artist. I would have given that up too to please my father if it hadn't been for you. I felt so guilty about my parents divorce and the only way I could get my fathers help with my education was to attend business school instead of PIFA. I actually considered doing it, but you wouldn't let me. You didn't use force to stop me, oh no...you used the truth. That has always been what distinguishes you from others. You tell people the truth whether it is what they want to hear or not. That takes guts. It's heroic even, because it shows no fear of rejection even though we know you had that deep seated fear in you. Burying it for the good of the people you care about had to be hard for you, but you did it because you care. That must have been the hardest thing of all...caring so much and having to act as if you didn't care at all. Like I said...gutsy and heroic.

***********************************************

And then a hero comes along, 
With the strength to carry on. 
And you cast your fears aside, 
And you know you can survive. 
So, when you feel like hope is gone ,
Look inside you and be strong. 
And you'll finally see the truth, 
That a hero lies in you. 
That a hero lies in you.
Ohhh that a hero lies in you.

Brian's POV:

You know, Justin, when I think of where I'd be if I hadn't seen that beautiful face of yours under the street lamp that night...well, lets just say that I don't want to think about that possibility. Not ever! What I thought was going to be a brief one night stand with a really cute new trick turned out to be the beginning of my life. I liked the old life, but it was just going through the motions of living. It was existing. True, it was a decent enough existence, but it was going nowhere fast. Now I look forward to every new day with excitement. There's never a dull moment with you. I've had the greatest pain in my life because of you, but also the greatest joy. The point is...I FEEL THINGS! I feel them all the time. No sliding through life anymore. Not with you beside me. And if that isn't gutsy and heroic...taking on a man like me, I don't know what is.

I love you, Justin Taylor. Man, does that feel good saying it out loud! I think I'll say it again tonight when I see you...and again and again and again.....

The End