ALEX 

I honestly thought after being kicked around, the two of them would get that nothing is what they want to believe, but even I'm questioning the logic in continuing therapy after today's session.  I brought them both inside to check if they were okay after being tossed around.

“I want to apologize for not getting you two out sooner.” I tell them. 

“Lindsay, can you now see that Justin wants me?” Michael tells her. 

“No he doesn't.” She tells him. 

“He was playing with me, not you.” He tells her. 

“He cares too much about me to do what he did to you.” She tells him.

“He was smiling at me the whole time. He left you with Brian.”

Michael tells her. 

“Justin didn’t care if he set you on fire, that should tell you something.” Lindsay argues.

“THEY TURNED YOU BOTH INTO BOUNCING BALLS, DOESN’T THAT TELL YOU TWO ANYTHING?” I yell exasperated. 

“Doc maybe you should sit down, you have this vein throbbing on your head.” Michael tells me. 

“Do you want to know why Michael?” I ask him. 

“Too much caffeine?” Michael asks me. 

“No, it’s too much listening to you two tell me that Justin thinks anything but that you two are delusional.” I tell him.

I ended the session because I was losing it with them. I decided that it was time to call in the big guns. Justin and his gang of merry makers might not listen to me, but I know who they will listen to.

JUSTIN

“Why are Mom and Deb here?” I whisper to Emmett.

“I don’t know, but I think Alex is involved.” Emmett whispers back.

“I think he thinks he can scare us with them.” Blake tells me.

“I feel like we’re five again.” Ted whispers to Drew.

“Why did you guys answer your phones? We were in the middle of the newest plan.” Brian tells us.  

“I was hoping that they would be able to get away the other day. Alex is kind of a downer.” Emmett tells me.

“Okay, now for the reason we are here.” Alex tells us.

“We came because…” Emmett stops at Alex glaring at him.

“I have asked your mothers and Carl to speak to you about what you did. My patients are already in enough trouble without you all seeking to prank us.” He tells us. 

“We weren’t after you.” I mumble.

“Why not tell your mother and Deb what you did.” He tells me. 

“We turned them into bouncing balls.” Emmett bravely tells them.

“We made sure they didn’t get hurt, their heads were protected.” I defend us.

“Justin you put fireworks around Michael and set him off.” Alex reminds me.

“It's not like it set Michael on fire.” Ted tells them, defending Justin.

“Doc, I was just kidding when I said the glue was flammable.” Brian tells him smiling.

“No he wasn't.” I whisper to Emmett.   

“You also glued my door shut and Michael and Lindsay to chairs. Then taunted them outside my office. I can't help them if you continue to play these games.” He tells us. 

“Alex, why am I here?” My mom asks him.

“I was hoping that you, Carl, and Deb could talk some sense into them.” Alex tells her.

“You want me to tell my married, adult son, what?” I love when Mom uses her WASP voice.

“That Michael and Lindsay won't get better if these guys keep plotting.” He tells her. 

“We keep telling Alex it's a lost cause.” Blake tells her.

“Boys, I know Michael and Lindsay have been a pain in the ass, but couldn't you help Alex instead of making it worse?” Mom tells us, rolling her eyes at Alex.

“Jen, I know they have been bothering you, but I got them to agree to stop calling you.” Alex tells her.

“Mother Taylor is getting bothered too?” Brian  asks him. 

“Mostly Lindsay calling to tell me Justin is in danger by being with you. To which I explained was better than her.” Mom tells him. 

“So Alex, if you're expecting me to stop them, you bet on the wrong mother.” She tells Alex. 

“Deb, if Jen won't help maybe as Michael’s mother you could talk to them.” Alex asks Deb.

“I would, but it seems that the only thing that's been accomplished is bars on my windows.” Deb tells him as we hear a thump upstairs.

“I just need to find the right therapy for them.” He tells her. 

“If being kicked around like a soccer ball didn't tell them anything what will?” Carl whispers to Emmett.

“That's what we think too.” I whisper to Carl.

“Just don’t do anything I have to arrest you for and I'm fine with it.” Carl whispers to me. 

We hear another thump and then glass break. How is he planning to get past the bars on the window?

“If swear to god if that boy broke his window, I'm going to beat his ass.” Deb tells us as she gets up to go check on Michael.

“Deb, I'll come with you. I still want to talk to all of you, so give me a minute. ” Alex tells us.

We all wait for him to get up the stairs. Carl walks over and opens the door to help us escape.

“Next time hang up if Alex tries to get you to talk.” Mom tells us as we file out the door.

We were almost to the car when we hear Michael screaming my name. I look up to see he has his head out the window stuck between the bars.

“He stuck?” Emmett asks us.

“Ma, I have to make him see, he should be with me. Ow Ma, I'm stuck, it hurts when you yank.” Michael whines.

“Michael, twist your head so we can get you in.” Alex tells him. 

“No, I want to…” Michael stops when he’s pulled back into the house.

We hear Deb screaming Michael's name and Alex telling him to open the door. 

“Let's go before Michael gets out here.” Emmett giggles at Michael escaping.

ALEX

Carl, Deb and I have been searching for Michael for days and he's managed to stay hidden. Apparently after he knocked us over and locked us in his bedroom, he ran down Carl and out the back door. I found out from Nancy Peterson that he helped Lindsay escape too. I just can't figure out how they manage it. 

I came to Woody’s to get a drink because I've never had patients this… fuck, this crazy. I look over at Justin teasing Brian while he shoots pool and wonder why are they obsessed with him. I don’t mean that he isn’t good looking, but he plays off the innocence that people see. Hell, even I thought he was the good one in that relationship. I turn and look down at my drink again. I talk to a couple other doctors to see what they think I'm missing. I have to say, laughing at the antics of this group wasn't what I expected to get from them.

 “Still haven't found them?” Emmett asks as him and Brian sit at my table.

“Not yet.” I tell him. 

“You really need to.” Emmett tells me. 

“If you're willing to help maybe we could find them.” I tell him, eager to see if they will.

“Not really, it's just we wanted to try out our next thing.” Emmett snickers and gets up to leave.

“Brian, this is serious.” I tell him. 

“I just want to see if Daphne’s newest idea works, but until we find them we can't do it.” Brian tells me smiling.

“Isn’t this a bit childish, even for you?” I ask him. 

“I've been having nonstop monkey sex since this started, so game on.” He tells me and walks off.

“Could you at least tell me what I have to look forward to?” I ask resigned.

“I'll give you a clue.” He tells me. 

“Anything is better than waiting to see what your up to.” I beg. 

“Michael and Lindsay might think that we went on a cruise.” He tells me. 

“WHAT?” I yell.   

“Don’t worry Doc, the boat they stole from Lindsay’s parents should have run out of gas. We made sure it would make it out a hundred or so miles.” Brian tells me. 

MICHAEL (two days earlier) 

“Why did the engine stop?” I ask her. 

“I don’t know, I'm not a mechanic.” Lindsay snaps at me.

“But the yacht is getting away.” I tell her. 

“Then use the part of your DNA that could fix the boat.” She sneers at me.

“How do you even know they’re on Drew's yacht?” I ask her. 

“I pretended I was a reporter and asked Cynthia if they had plans this weekend. She told me Drew was taking them out on his boat.” She tells me.

“I never saw any of them on the yacht, we should have just stayed at the dock and waited. Now we're stuck out here until this thing starts back up.” I tell her. 

I look around and all I see is water, nothing but water. I swear the guys who told us the yacht was going this way, were high. I saw them laughing after we jumped on and took off.  

“I'm kind of hungry. I hope your parents at least keep food on this boat.” I tell her. 

“Instead of whining help me figure out why it stopped.” Lindsay tells me sneering.

“All I wanted was a chance to get Justin and show him we were supposed to be together, but no, I get stuck in the middle of the ocean with you.” I tell her. 

“Michael, we only went a few miles before the engine stopped, we'll eventually see someone.” She tells me. 

“I WANT TO EAT, SO FIGURE IT OUT.” I yell at her and go down to the small kitchen. 

I open the fridge and see coconut water, a lot of it but nothing else. Looking around there's a huge pile of bananas sitting on the table with a card.

“Lindsay, do your parents like bananas or something?” I ask as she comes in.

“I wouldn’t know, but that's a lot of bananas.” She looks at them and grabs the note. I look over her shoulder and read.

“Dearest Lindsay and Michael,

I hope you didn't chase Drew's crew too far, but we felt that you would interrupting the monkey sex I had planned for Justin this weekend. I didn’t want you to feel left out, so for the monkey in all of us, I bought you enough bananas to hold you over until we told Alex where to find you.

ENJOY, 

Brian

PS Blake came up with making sure you had something to drink. In case you haven't figured it out you're out of gas.”

ALEX

Carl managed to get out of them where Michael and Lindsay were. Drew let us take his boat to find them. We pulled up to Lindsay and Michael naked sitting on buckets and screaming at each other.

“Could you two put some clothes on?” Carl asks them.

“We don't have any.” Michael whines.

“Why not?” I ask him. 

“You tell him.” Michael tells Lindsay. 

“I was raised to not talk about things like that.” She tells him. 

“Will you two get up and I'll hand you towels to wear,” Carl tells them.     

“We're afraid to.” Michael whispers.

“Why, nothing is going to hurt you.” I hope they weren’t scared by this.

“It's not that.” Michael tells me. 

“Than what?” Carl asks.

“We've been…” Lindsay turns red.

“Look, I'd like to get home so can one of you tell me what's going on.” Carl snaps at them.

“We've been shitting our brains out. Why do you think we're sitting on these buckets.” Michael whines.

I look to see coconut water containers littered all over. The wind changes direction and Carl and I have to hold our shirts over our noses. Dear God, I promise never to piss off Brian Fucking Kinney.