Chapter 25 - Home Sweet Home.

"Merrrrrooooooooowllll"

“Shit, Justin,” Brian complained for the thirtieth time. “Can’t you shut the furrball up? Does he have to make that weird wailing/growling noise every time you move his carrier? People are looking at us.”

“No, Brian, I can’t just shut him up,” Justin sniped back again, the stress of the flight combined with a grouchy companion and a nauseated cat causing him to lose any patience he might have left. “If I could shut him up don’t you think I would have done it about two hundred miles ago? Winston is obviously experiencing motion sickness. It happens to cats as well as people, you know. So, instead of complaining about it - AGAIN - why don’t you just shut the hell up, get us a taxi and get us out of the airport where I can let the cat out. That’s the only thing that’s going to shut him up at this point.”

Brian bit back the spiteful remark he was about to throw back at Justin and instead took action. He walked around the people standing in front of him in the taxi line and gave the Red Cap who was in charge a fifty dollar bill and a wink. Miraculously, when the next cab came, the guy waived Brian and Justin up from their place in line and put them in the taxi ahead of the rest of the grumbling peons who didn’t have the disposable income to bribe him. Brian smirked at Justin, who simply shook his head, and helped the cabbie load their small overnight bags into the trunk while Justin seated himself and the wailing Winston inside the cab.

Twenty minutes later the cab pulled up in front of an older brick building that looked like it was supposed to be a warehouse but was much too clean and had too nice of a front door to be housing anything but the up and coming yuppies of the city. Brian got out first and then courteously grabbed the pet carrier out of Justin’s hands before helping the younger man out as well. Winston wailed his usual complaint as the pet carrier swung pendulously from side to side causing Brian to shudder and shake his head.

“At the risk of having my head bit off, remind me again why I agreed to bring the fuzzball along on this little adventure,” Brian just had to rub it in.

“Because,” Justin answered, barely containing his contempt for the question he’d been asked too many times already on this trip. “As we already discussed about a million times, Daphne is snowboarding with Cassie’s family until Sunday so she couldn’t cat sit for me. You know this. Why are you asking me again.”

“Because I’m still in shock that you somehow managed to get me to agree to this farce,” Brian replied. “I’m still in shock that I asked YOU to come with me. I can’t believe I agreed to the fucking fuzzball. I must be completely dick-whipped. Maybe I’ve completely lost my mind. Or my dick. Do I look like I’m growing a pussy? I must be turning lezzy. I’ve got a fucking boyfriend and a CAT? What the hell happened to me? . . . “ The grousing continued in a low tone even after Brian had moved beyond Justin’s hearing - although Justin wasn’t angry anymore after he noted that Brian had called him his ‘boyfriend’.

“I told you, we could have asked Hector to cat sit for us,” Justin said with a bit of a mischievous grin as he hurried to catch up with Brian who was already fumbling with his key at the front door. “He would have been happy to watch Winston for us. Of course, the last time I had him house sit, the whole apartment smelled like a combination of dirty sweat socks and anchovies.”

“We could have just aired out the apartment when we got back,” Brian offered, now rethinking his decision about NOT allowing the infamous Hector into his home while he was gone.

“Yeah, that’s true,” Justin agreed amiably. “But, there was also the fact that, last time, when I got home, the sheets on my bed were sort of crusty and there was a pile of toenail clippings sitting on the night stand. Plus, you don’t want me to even get started on describing what I found in the refrigerator.”

Justin watched as his comments made the ‘neat-freak’ in Brian visibly cringe - that’s how he had won the argument the first time, too. “Fine. Whatever. Just remind me to change your seat for the flight home so that you and the cat are sitting at the other end of the plane from me.”

Brian’s cutting words were softened by his teasing smile as he finally got the door open and showed Justin inside. The proud host ushered his guest into the building and pulled open the gate on the elevator, carrying both bags in while Justin devoted himself to the cat. Hitting the button for the top floor, Brian turned to his companion with excitement at the prospect of sharing his loft with Justin. Which was surprising to Brian since it wasn’t like he’d never had guests here before. In fact, before he’d moved away from Pittsburgh, the loft had been a pretty busy place, seeing trick after trick come and then go. However, it was a rare occurrence for Brian to have an overnight guest. Even more so when the overnight guest was actually being explicitly invited to stay. This was pretty much a first for Brian and, although he didn’t want to admit it, he was nervous as hell about having Justin here - with or without his annoying fuzzball.

As soon as the door to the loft was closed behind them, Justin sat the pet carrier down and unlatched the door. Winston wobbled out displaying none of his usual feline grace. Justin wasn't sure how it was possible, but the grey cat somehow looked slightly green. The unhappy kitty gave both his people a withering, accusatory look before sitting himself down in the middle of the large expanse of hardwood floors and setting about cleaning himself from the grime of travel.

Brian shook his head in disbelief at the odd sight of a cat sitting in his sacred loft. Never in a million years would he have expected to see this. Then, Brian glanced over at the cat's gorgeous blond owner, who looked incredibly grateful to be finally freed from the burden of toting around a nauseated, wailing box full of grouchy kitty. Even tired from their early morning and rumpled after traveling, Justin still looked decadently appetizing. It reminded Brian instantly of exactly why he'd wanted Justin here with him - even if it meant suffering through the horrors of commercial air travel with a motion sick cat. The mere thought of Justin being here, with him, was enough to make it worth all the trouble.

Leaving cat and cat-person to sort themselves out, Brian took the bags straight up to the bedroom. He noted in passing that someone - probably Debbie - had recently been by to freshen up the place, dust and vacuum. He peeked into the bathroom and was glad to see that the cat litter pan he'd asked Emmett to pick up for him was already set up in the corner. Since they'd only be here a couple of days, it should be fine - they didn't need the same elaborate LitterMaid system Brian had installed back in the New York apartment. Altogether, it looked like everything was in place for both his guests. He was again thankful that the new renters wouldn't be moving into the loft until January 30th, allowing Brian and company to have a comfortable, familiar place to stay while they were back in the Pitts.

“Nice place. I like your kitchen,” Justin complimented as soon as Brian came back into the main room.

“It does the trick,” Brian replied with his standard catch phrase for deflecting compliments before he even thought about how his words would sound.

“Yeah, I’m sure it does,” Justin responded without any enthusiasm, turning away from Brian and walking off towards the big wall of windows dispiritedly.

Brian realized his gaffe as soon as he saw Justin’s shoulders slump. Since the two of them had spent their whirlwind weekend together and then Christmas, there actually hadn’t been any tricks. There hadn’t been any need. Brian and Justin had been so wrapped up in each other, Brian hadn’t made it out of the apartment most nights. However, after his Christmas Day epiphany, when he realized he truly wanted to pursue something more with Justin, Brian had consciously tried to be more attentive. Even though it wasn’t something he’d had much experience with, he was learning to read Justin’s moods a little bit better. That was probably why he caught on so quickly to the way Justin reacted to his little quip about ‘tricks’.

Brian caught up with Justin in two large strides, grabbed the retreating man’s elbow and managed to twirl Justin around and into his arms in one fluid motion.

“Strike that, Sunshine. What I meant to say was that it USED to do the trick. Of course, these days, your ass is the only one that’s getting treated,” Brian replied, letting his hidden, ridiculously romantic side have full reign over his vocabulary. “Which is why I don’t need this loft anymore. And it’s why I’m renting this place out and living in a tiny shit hole apartment in New York with you.”

"It's not a shit hole. Daphne says its a palace. Especially for Soho," Justin protested even as he pulled back to avoid being kissed into submission by Brian.

"Trust me, Sunshine, it's a shit hole. Not that I'm complaining, mind you," Brian asserted and backed his words up with a solid, aggressive kiss on Justin's nice plump coral-pink lips. “When the ad said ‘furnished apartment’, I didn’t think those furnishings would include such a hot little twink lover as well. That alone makes the tiny shit hole more than worth it.”

“Why, Mr. Kinney, you do say the sweetest things,” Justin gave in to the over-the-top flattery and kissed Brian back to show his appreciation.

“Yep. That’s me - ‘sweet’!” Brian laughed at himself and his silly saccharine endearment. “In fact, that’s the first word that comes to everybody’s mind as soon as they see me - ‘sweet’. You have no idea how often I’ve heard that,” Brian continued, chuckling at the very idea of Mel saying anything at all like that about him.

“I kind of like the idea that I’m the only one who gets to see ‘sweet’ Brian Kinney,” Justin asserted, wrapping his arms more tightly around the taller man’s solid frame, and pushing up to his tip toes so he could enjoy more of those sweet Kinney lips.

“Only you,” Brian whispered against Justin’s perfectly pert lips, thrilling to the sensation of warmth pressing so tenderly against his own mouth.

Just as the kiss was starting to get deeper and more intense, the couple was interrupted by the loft’s intercom buzzing to indicate someone was down at the front door.

“Hey, Brian. It’s Ted,” crackled the familiar voice through the little speaker when Brian reluctantly let go of Justin and went to answer the summons. “I was delegated to be your official chauffeur for the day.”

“Come on up, Theodore,” Brian found that he was actually excited to hear his old friend’s voice and instantly pushed the door release button. “Ready to meet the first of the firing squad, Sunshine?”

Brian had used the plane ride to PA to try to prepare Justin for the odd panoply of friends that made up Brian’s little make-shift family. But, no matter what, no mere words could prepare someone for the reality of this unique group. Brian was thankful that it was Ted that was picking them up - he would be the least traumatic one to start off the introductions with. Brian was even pretty sure that Ted wouldn’t throw a complete fit when Brian tried out the word ‘boyfriend’ for the first time when he presented Justin.  Nevertheless, Justin could feel the new tension that rolled off the older man’s body as they both walked together over towards the door.

Brian slid the large metal loft door open before the clackety old elevator made it to the top floor. He was leaning against the doorframe, Justin resting his back against Brian’s chest with the larger man’s arms wrapped around to steady them both. It was that comfortable, intimate pose that was the first thing to meet Ted’s eyes when the elevator gate opened. Which probably explained the look of obvious shock on the accountant’s face as soon as he emerged from the elevator.

“Brian?”

“Are you asking because you don’t recognize me?” Brian teased. “I’m sure that my appearance hasn’t changed that much in the two months I’ve been gone, Theodore.”

“Uh, no . . . I just didn’t know you’d be . . . entertaining . . . this early in the day, Bri. Hope I’m not interrupting,” Ted nervously replied, not sure what to make of the young blond that Brian was holding so possessively. “You . . . um . . . almost done? We’ve got to go pretty soon. Debbie threatened to castrate me if I didn’t get you to the ceremony on time. She said you can’t come fashionably late to a wedding.”

“Theodore Schmidt, this is Justin Taylor,” Brian said without changing his pose at all. “Justin, this is Ted, accountant, thirty-four, dresses in the most boring clothing imaginable, but has a respectable seven plus inches between his thighs and isn’t a bad friend. Ted, this is my boyfriend, Justin. He’s my ‘plus one’ for the weekend. Now, if you can manage to pull yourself together and stop gaping at us like a freshly hooked trout, we’ll get dressed and get out of here.”

When Ted seemed incapable of responding or even moving, Justin stepped forward, disengaging from Brian’s arms, and held out his hand in greeting to the stunned visitor. “Nice to meet you, Ted. Come on inside. We just got here - the flight was a little bit delayed - so we haven’t had a chance to unpack or get dressed.”

“I didn’t think the ceremony was until 1:00 pm,” Brian added as he physically scooped Ted inside the loft and closed the door behind the still blinking man. “We’ve got tons of time. Besides, I want a shower beforehand. You can join me, Sunshine, and help me wash my back.”

“Sounds good, Brian. Just let me put out some food and water for Winston first. After all that complaining he did on the flight, he’s probably really thirsty.” Justin said as he walked towards the kitchen and searched through the cupboard for two small bowls, then fished out a baggie of cat food from the pocket of the pet carry-on bag that had been waiting on the kitchen island.

The aroma of his food caused Winston to instantly appear, as if by magic, his furry body affectionately winding around Brian’s ankles. As if Ted hadn’t been thoroughly shocked enough by the announcement that Brian had brought a *gasp* boyfriend with him to Debbie’s wedding, now there was what appeared to be a pet cat in the loft. Ted wasn’t sure but thought for a moment that maybe he might be hallucinating.

“No, you’re NOT seeing things, Theodore,” Brian chuckled as he bent down to pick up the fuzzy creature. “This is our cat, Winston. And, before you ask, yes, Justin and I are living together and we’ve only been dating for about a month now. I don’t intend to discuss it any further. You and everyone else will just have to deal with the impossibility of the Brian Kinney you used to know being in a long-term committed relationship and owning a pet cat. Now, come on, Sunshine, we’d better get started on that shower if we want to get to this wedding on time.”

Brian gently set Winston down on the counter next to where Justin had set out the food and water and then grabbed Justin’s hand to lead the boy away towards the bathroom. Ted was still standing in the same spot, staring at the cat as if it alone was responsible for this miracle. Winston didn’t give the strange person any attention at all - he was too busy with his food and then had plans to do a comprehensive sweep of his new living space to determine if it was up to his very particular kitty specifications.

Ted backed slowly away from the disturbing sight in Brian’s kitchen. He felt strangely dizzy and really needed to sit down. Without turning his back on the little furry beast still crouched on the top of the kitchen island, Ted inched toward the sitting area until he felt a chair hit the back of his calves. He promptly sat while his brain tried frantically to catch up with what his eyes had seen.

Brian Kinney . . . announcing he had a live-in boyfriend, a pet cat and that he was ‘dating’. The only thing that might make it even more ludicrous was if Brain announced that he’d become monogamous. However, there didn’t appear to be any flying pigs outside the loft windows. As far as Ted was aware, the world hadn’t come to an end this morning. He hadn’t had time to check the news to see if there was a zombie apocalypse starting, but that seemed unlikely. He might be still asleep and dreaming all this, but if so it was the most realistic dream Ted had ever had. But, what other possible explanations were there? He’d known Brian going on ten years now and this couldn’t be real. Not after only two months. Not the Brian Kinney he knew. Maybe Ted had been lost in a time warp or something and it was really ten years later. Maybe he’d fallen through a wormhole into an alternate universe. Yeah, that seemed like the most probable explanation.

Ted decided to go with the wormhole theory. And, when the cat jumped up into his lap, hunkered down on it’s haunches and glared into his eyes with those bright green orbs, Ted just started laughing hysterically. Definitely . . . had to be an alternate universe!

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More than an hour later - Brian and Justin’s shower had taken a rather long time, after all - Ted pulled his Accura up in front of Mel & Lindsey’s house and let Brian and his ‘boyfriend’ out of the car before he drove off to park. Ted didn’t want to be in the house when these two made their entrance. He was still not dealing with the shock very well himself and didn’t want to get caught up in the drama that he knew would take over as soon as they appeared.

The block was lined with cars. Brian and Justin had to work towards the door along with a horde of others, all headed towards a wonderfully decorated, Christmasy house. The picket fence had been adorned with swags of evergreens, bright red bows and twinkling lights that, although it was still the middle of the afternoon, shone fairly brightly in the overcast day. Brian had thought that the affair was going to be small and sedate - especially since there had only been a week’s notice - but he’d underestimated Debbie’s standing in Liberty Avenue’s Society.

Every queen, queer or lezzie that had ever set foot in the Diner appeared to have been invited. In front of Brian and Justin there was a rather gaudily dressed drag queen being escorted by a big, heavily muscled leather daddy - complete with leather bow tie around his twenty inch bare neck. Behind them there was a couple of twinkies, one of which Brian was sure he’d seen hustling around the corner from Babylon off and on for the past six months. Coming down the street was a whole gaggle of Mel’s dyke friends. It was quite the turnout. Brian worried briefly about where they would put all these people inside the old victorian-era house.

Opening the door for guests and acting as the greeting committee, were the duo of Michael Novotny and Emmett Honeycutt. Emmett took everyone’s coats and then Michael would direct the newcomers inside with directions on where to find refreshments. The tall drag queen in her six inch heels standing in front of them partially blocked the view of Brian and Justin. So, it wasn’t until Emmett had complimented the lady’s dress and Michael had encouraged them to get a drink at the bar set up in the dining room area, that the two saw Brian.

“Brian! You’re here and you’re actually on time! This has to be a first!” gushed Emmett as he unabashedly reached over to hug the returning prodigal.

Brian bore the unwelcomed hug with admirable restraint, while watching Michael’s reaction out of the corner of his eye. “Honeycutt. I see you haven’t lost any of your exuberance in the two months I’ve been gone.”

“Never, Sweetie!” Emmett exclaimed with his usual gap-toothed southern smile. “And, don’t call me Honeycutt, you asshole!”

Taking the initiative, Brian immediately turned towards his young, blond companion and took Justin’s hand in his own. “Emmett, Mikey, I’d like you to both meet my boyfriend, Justin Taylor. Justin, the tall flaming queen with the questionable fashion sense here is Emmett Honeycutt and the short, scowling, boy-next-door-type glaring at us is my oldest friend, Michael Novotny. Now, did I hear something about an open bar?”

Before either of the greeters could say a word, Brian pressed his way between the two gaping men, pulling a grinning Justin after him. Justin couldn’t resist the temptation to smile impishly and wave his fingers at the confused pair as Brian towed him away. Shocking Brian’s family like this was quite fun, actually. He hadn’t really believed Brian when the man had told him that his family was likely to be overwhelmed by his announcement that he’d brought a ‘boyfriend’ with him to the wedding. It looked like, if anything, Brian had underestimated the reaction he would receive. Both Emmett and Michael were still just standing there by the open door, both their mouths hanging open, as they watched Brian and Justin disappear amid the crowd of people gathered in the living room.

Emmett was the first to get himself back under control enough to greet the pair of twinks that had been waiting behind Brian and Justin. The ceremony was due to start in about fifteen minutes and there was too much to be done to dwell on the alien being masquerading as Brian Kinney. Emmett only had to remind himself that he was a professional party planner, this was his gig and whatever strange antics the party guests got up to simply had to be ignored or dealt with. He didn’t have time to worry about bizarre occurrences like Brian Kinney saying he had a boyfriend.

Michael, on the other hand, just stood there, ignoring the rest of the guests and watching the spot where someone who looked like his best friend had just vanished. He thought he’d heard the Brian clone use the word ‘boyfriend’ in reference to the blond twink. That couldn’t have really happened, could it? Maybe he’d been seeing things. Maybe it hadn’t really been Brian at all - just someone that looked a lot like him. That was probably it. Brian was still in New York and that guy who just came in was someone else completely who sort of looked and sounded like Brian. Although, it sure had looked a lot like Brian. And, it had sounded like Brian. And, it had known his name and Emmett’s name. What the fuck was going on here?

Michael was still virtually catatonic when the crowd at the door started to thin out a few minutes later. Ted had finally found a parking spot about three blocks away and was one of the last to trickle through the door. He was actually a bit hesitant to come inside, expecting that Brian’s entrance might have caused some huge dramatic scene. But, when he reached the door and all looked normal, Ted nervously followed in the last of the guests.

“Teddy! There you are!” Emmett crowed as soon as he saw his friend come through the doorway. “What the hell did you bring us? You were supposed to pick up Brian Kinney. Instead we got some Brian pod person who introduced us to some delectable little blond twink as his ‘boyfriend’? I almost had a stroke right there and then. You have to tell us what the hell is going on. Actually, you should have called ahead to warn us. Michael here appears to be in shock.”

Emmett might have gone on and on in the same vein, his astonishment taking over his control of his tongue, if he hadn’t been pulled away by the caterer who needed to clarify something right at that moment. Ted moved over to stand next to Michael and they both just stared at the spot where the crowd had parted to reveal a vision of Brian holding hands with the little blond while the couple talked to Backroom Todd and his date. The scene was surreal. Ted was again convinced of his wormhole theory. Michael, who was much more volatile and less imaginative, simply started to get angry.

“Who is that stupid blond twink? What the hell does he think he’s doing here with Brian,” Michael finally found his voice about the same time that Emmett and his assistants were trying to corral the guests out of the aisle where the wedding party would enter and away from the little raised dais that had been set up next to the Christmas Tree for the ceremony itself.

Even with all the chaotic noise caused by the milling throngs of people and the politely shouted directions from Emmett, you could still hear Michael’s higher-pitched, overly-loud, complaining voice, as the outraged son of the bride moved to confront his former best friend. “What the fuck is going on, Brian? You think this is funny? Is this just some joke to you? Are you trying to fuck up Ma’s wedding by shocking everybody? Even for you, Brian, that’s fucking low. I don’t find it funny at all. But, whatever! You’ve made your point. Time to tell your trick to leave so we can get on with things.”

Michael’s tirade got the crowd’s attention much faster than Emmett’s polite attempts. Everyone turned, almost as one, and focused in on the dissonance between Brian and Michael. “Wow, Mikey,” Brian responded with angry sarcasm. “You held off with your tantrum for more than five minutes. I’m impressed. But, Justin is NOT a trick, Mikey, so I’m not going to ask him to leave. And, if anyone is likely to fuck up your mother’s wedding with some ridiculous scene, it’s you.”

“Michael, this really isn’t the time . . .” Ted pulled at his friend’s elbow, trying to ease him away from the dispute.

Emmett saw that Ted had Michael in hand, and took his chance to further diffuse the situation by announcing that the ceremony would be starting soon. The rest of the ushers and party crew started courteously directing the guests back towards the walls of the room, where all the furniture had been removed, so that there were clear areas that would allow the wedding party to enter the room. Brian and Justin followed along with the rest of the herd and moved to one side of the room. The judge friend of Carl’s who was going to officiate, moved towards the dais to take his spot. Everything else seemed to be in place - the tree was beautifully decorated in red and gold, there was red ribbon-trimmed greenery everywhere and the whole house smelled of fresh pine.

None of that seemed to matter to Michael, though. If anything, it gave his unreasoning anger more space in which to rage. Brian and that irritating blond trick were still there, standing at the edge of the crowd near one aisle. Michael was simply NOT going to stand for this. It was insulting. It was just another way for Brian to fuck with everyone’s minds. His lingering anger at Brian, from the unresolved argument they’d never finished before Brian moved away, reached critical mass again and Michael wasn’t about to let the asshole get away with anything more.

While everyone else’s attention was directed towards Emmett and the ushers, Michael broke away from the tentative hold Ted had on his arm, and marched across the room to where Brian and Justin were standing together. Michael grabbed hold of the young blond’s wrist with a pincer-like grasp and tugged the unprepared boy towards the door. Justin was pulled off balance by Michael’s unexpected actions and tripped over the foot of the guest standing next to him then proceeded to fall sideways. If it weren’t for the tall drag queen, who caught Justin in her strong arms, Justin would have done a rather spectacular face plant into the carpet.

“What the fuck is your problem, Michael?” Brian erupted, reaching out to pull Justin safely back onto his feet.

“It’s time for your trick to leave, Brian. I can’t believe even YOU would bring a fuck to Ma’s wedding. Everyone knows you’re an asshole, but this is just too fucking much. I’m not going to just sit here and let you ruin everything. The blond needs to leave NOW!” Michael insisted at full volume, causing every single set of eyes in the entire room to focus on the three arguing men.

Ted and Emmett were both there in mere seconds, each gripping one of Michael’s arms and trying to ease him away from where Brian had taken up a defensive stand in front of Justin. “Fuck you, Novotny. I think it’s pretty clear who’s being the asshole here and it isn’t me,” Brian yelled back, just as loudly. “I told you, Justin is my ‘BOYFRIEND’. He’s here with me as my guest. He’s not some damn trick that you can just throw out. You need to fucking back off and, if you put your hands on him one more time, I’m going to forget we’ve been friends for more than half our lives and fucking deck you.”

“Ah . . . is there a problem here?” Lindsey asked in her most placating and serene voice as she came out of the kitchen and noticed the tense situation. “Brian, hello! I’m so glad you were able to make it. Why don’t you come stand up here closer to the front with me. Oh, and you brought Justin, too. Hello, Justin. Nice to see you again. Why don’t you guys come join me over here. Em, can you and Ted take Michael back to the guest room so he see if Carl needs anything. We should get started in just a minute or two.”

With Lindsey, Emmett and Ted all running interference, the confrontation was momentarily averted. Brian and Justin were led over to the left side of the room, where they could stand next to Mel behind the bride’s family. Ted and Emmett escorted a still fuming Michael out of the room, ostensibly to help Carl finish getting ready, but mostly just to get the irascible man out of sight until he could calm down. Lindsey hurried off to help Debbie with any final needs.

Thankfully, the argument was put on hold for the remainder of the formal services. Within just a few moments after Michael had been led away, the judge and Carl both came out and took their places in the front of the room. Michael and Carl’s son, Oliver, stood up behind the grey-haired detective as groomsmen. Next, Gus came hopping down the aisle, very proudly carrying the wedding rings on a tiny red and green pillow - when he saw his dad and Justin standing off to the side, he almost got distracted but then, at the last minute, remembered he was supposed to go stand next to Ted and Em.

Finally, the music changed and the bridesmaids came down the stairs. First was Lindsay, in a lovely, diaphanous little holly-leaf green dress. Next came Kiki, wearing what looked like a vintage prom dress, in a slightly different but complementary shade of green, that might have come right out of a Lucille Ball movie, but which was very flattering on her rather unique figure. The ladies positioned themselves to the left of where the judge was standing.

Then the music changed to the traditional wedding march and the beautifully radiant bride came slowly down the staircase. Debbie had probably never looked more beautiful in her entire life. She was wearing a brilliant, deep red and gold velvet dress that was absolutely perfect for her. And, between Mel and Lindz taking over her makeup and hair and Emmett’s dress selection, Debbie Novotny looked sexy as hell. Most of the guests had never seen her out of her signature snarky t-shirts and button covered vest, and were simply astounded at the transformation. The ‘ahhhhhs’ and ‘ohhhhs’ were almost deafening. Debbie glowed at the flattering praise that followed her as she walked towards Carl and the judge. Smiling at all the friends and family watching her, the beautiful bride stepped up onto the small dais and handed her red and white rose bouquet over to Kiki then turned to take Carl’s hands in her own.

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