Perfection

Chapter 6

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"Get out."

"Huh?"

"You heard me. Get out!" Brian repeated.

The young hustler threw his legs over the side of the bed and reached for his jeans. "Asshole," he mumbled under his breath.

"I have excellent hearing," Brian felt compelled to say. "Get dressed and get out. Keep your comments to yourself."

The young man muttered to himself all the way to the door of the loft.

"And don't slam the door," Brian said as the hustler closed the door with a wrenching clang. Brian wondered if it was still on its track. "Well, that was less than stimulating," he observed to the rafters as he lit a cigarette and stared up at them.

He rubbed his hand over his eyes and wondered why his life was so fucked. He had enjoyed meeting Justin and talking to him earlier that evening. He didn't know what it was about the young man that he found so appealing. He felt like he could tell Justin almost anything, and Justin wouldn't judge him. He had told Justin more than he had intended. Even revealing some of his secrets had seemed okay as long as it was Justin he was telling. But he had refused to reveal everything. He just couldn't. He didn't want anyone to know.

And so he had reverted to ordering a hustler. If Justin hadn't mentioned going back to his place, that wouldn't have been necessary. Brian had felt himself get hard in anticipation of being with Justin. They had both felt the attraction at Babylon. Brian knew they both did. But he had chickened out that night and again tonight. He just couldn't risk Justin finding out. That would make things even worse than they already were.

Brian got up from the bed and headed for the bar cart. It was after midnight but he had several hours of good drinking left if he paced himself. Sleep seemed out of the question.

A couple of hours and the better part of a bottle of Beam later, Brian still couldn't get Justin Taylor out of his head. What the fuck was the matter with him? Justin was everything that Brian normally avoided. He was blond and cheerful and short. Brian went for tall, dark and brooding. They usually never wanted to talk. They just wanted to fuck, and that was what Brian had always wanted too.

That was until he met Garnet Kendall. Garnet met the first two parts of Brian's criteria, that was for sure. The brooding part was a different matter. They had met at Babylon, one night about three years ago. They had been instantly attracted and Brian had thought that a one night stand with Garnet would be the proper cap to a good weekend of fucking.

Garnet had resisted the back room, saying that he didn't like the idea of fucking in front of other horny guys. He liked having his partner's exclusive attention. Therefore, they had headed for Garnet's townhouse. As it turned out, it rivaled Brian's loft as a fuck pad. Brian had been very impressed.

They had come together with explosive passion. They had fucked so many times that night that neither of them could move the next morning. Brian couldn't remember ever having a more intense encounter in his whole life of fucking. Garnet said much the same thing about Brian.

They had pried themselves apart and climbed into the shower together. The fuck in there was memorable too. Brian smiled at the memory. They had actually fucked each other off their feet and had ended up in a heap on the floor of the shower. That was one of the first times that Brian had ever called in sick to work. He told Cynthia that he wouldn't be in until the next day. Then he and Garnet had continued to fuck the day away. They only stopped long enough for Garnet to call his law office and report in sick too, and to order in some takeout since they needed to keep up their strength.

Good times, Brian thought with a smile. Too bad they never lasted. He took another swig of the Beam.

The gay world of Pittsburgh had anointed them the perfect couple, and they were for over a year. They went to all the best parties and gatherings. They were always in the limelight, two successful gay men who had found each other. They had a seemingly perfect relationship.

Brian moved into Garnet's townhouse as it had more space and was better suited for entertaining. Garnet wanted Brian to sell the loft and they could get a larger house together. Some part of Brian refused to relinquish the loft. He never really understood why he couldn't give it up. But he knew deep inside that he couldn't.

Maybe it had to do with the fact that although they had a seemingly perfect relationship, they never talked about love or the future or where they were going … together. It was like two separate entities that had come together for glorious sex. They were the envy of everyone who saw them. And as someone who never believed in love or relationships, what they had suited Brian just fine. They had more sex than anyone could imagine, they lived in a great house with invitations to all the best events, they were looked up to and admired. Everything seemed perfect if a little superficial.

And then the unthinkable happened. Brian refused to think about that. He couldn't. He wouldn't. And then not long after Garnet left him.

Brian felt a tear run down his cheek. He quickly brushed it away. He didn't know why the fuck he was crying over this. It wasn't like Garnet was the love of his life, his soulmate. Hell, he didn't even believe in such things. Garnet was a great fuck, but then so was he. They had had a great time together until it all fell apart. Nothing to cry over.

It still hurt when Garnet left him, especially when Garnet left him. He was so alone and so … abandoned. Just like every other person who had been important to him in his life. They had all abandoned him, if not physically, certainly emotionally. Jack and Joan had always been remote. Lindsay had loved him but then she had found Mel and that was the end of that, especially considering the way Mel felt about him. And Michael and Debbie, they had their own lives, especially now that Deb was dating Carl and Michael had found the professor.

Brian was pretty much alone, and most of the time he didn't care. But on days like today, he had to wonder what the fuck was wrong with him? Why did he always get left behind while everybody else moved on with their lives? Maybe that's why Justin Taylor had appealed to him so much. He seemed so casual and friendly with no demands, kind of like it had been with Garnet in the beginning. But that had been a sexual thing, and that certainly wasn't the case with Justin. Brian had been avoiding anything sexual with Justin since they had first met. Sure the attraction was there. But even if they had those kinds of feelings for each other, nothing was ever going to happen.

With a sigh Brian staggered back up the steps and flopped down on the bed. That was enough reminiscing and fucking self-examination for one day. He fell into a troubled slumber.

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At Kinnetik a sleep deprived and cranky Brian Kinney barked out orders and terrorized his staff. Nothing seemed to meet with his approval. He sent boards back and reamed out his ad execs. They all wished the day would soon be over, but no more than Brian did.

He was so fucking angry and restless … and angry. He couldn't even understand why he felt this way, but he did. He kept thinking about Justin Taylor's smiling face, and that didn't make him feel any better. He had walked out on Justin's invitation to his place. He couldn't expect Justin to call him after that. Brian's fingers itched to call Justin, but he was afraid. Afraid that Justin would tell him to fuck off because of the way he had bolted from Flanagan's. Afraid that Justin would invite him over to his apartment once again, and he would have to refuse. Afraid that Justin might want to go on another "date" and he didn't think he could do that. It wouldn't be fair to either of them to lead Justin on. Afraid that Justin wouldn't even answer his fucking call.

And fear made Brian angry. He hated feeling afraid, as he had done over the last months. It had been the worst period of his life, still was. So, angry Brian took out his frustration on his staff. They avoided him as much as they possibly could.

Taking his life into his hands, Ted Schmidt tapped on Brian's door late that afternoon.

"Enter," Brian said imperiously when he saw who it was.

"You sounded just like Captain Picard," Ted joked hoping to improve Brian's mood.

"What do you want, Schmidt?"

Ted immediately became serious and started to explain. "Um … The option to purchase Babylon is available if you … um … if you want to pursue it."

"And why the fuck would I want to pursue that?" Brian demanded.

"But you said … when we went to Babylon … you said … that you…"

"Well, I've changed my mind," Brian said bluntly.

"So you're not interested in buying the place?"

"No."

"Okay then," Ted said backing towards the door. "It's your decision."

Brian frowned. "Are you implying that I've made the wrong decision?"

"Oh no, never. I wouldn't imply any such thing," Ted said quickly.

"But that's what you think, isn't it?"

"Well … I, um … I…"

"Oh for fuck's sake, spit it out! What do you think?"

"I've looked at the books. The place has a lot of potential if it was in the right hands," Ted managed to get out.

"And you think those hands are mine?" Brian asked with a smirk. Schmidt better not be playing him or he'd have his ass for brunch. "Shit!" Brian said aloud when he thought about the image he had just created in his own mind.

"What?" Ted looked askance at Brian.

"Nothing, nothing at all," Brian said shaking his head. "You didn't answer my question," he added glaring at Ted.

"I'm not sure I want to," Ted said suddenly deciding that he had done enough groveling. If Brian wanted his advice he was going to have to treat him a little better.

"You don't fucking want to?" Brian asked in disbelief. "Did I hear you right?"

"I don't know what's happened to make you even more obnoxious than you already were, but the staff and I are sick of it. If you want my advice you can ask nicely," Ted stated.

Brian's eyebrows just about disappeared into his hairline as he stared at his bold and brazen accountant. How dare Ted Schmidt say that to him? And then Brian's eyebrows came back into view and his face softened. "Have I really been that bad?" he asked in a low voice.

"Worse!" Ted declared. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"Worse?"

"Worse."

"Fuck!" Brian said.

"Look, Brian, I hate being the bearer of bad news, but there is either going to be a mutiny and a beheading or you're going to find a lot of resignations on your desk in the next few days."

"Are those the only alternatives?" Brian asked as the reality of the situation began to sink in.

"You could try being a little nicer to your employees," Ted ventured to suggest.

"I could, could I?"

"Yeah," Ted said standing his ground.

"I'll take your advice under … advisement," Brian said with a smirk. Sometimes he was good with words. Hell, he was always good with words. He watched a little smile play around Ted's mouth.

"That would be a good decision."

"So, what's the verdict on Babylon?"

"If you want a new venture, I think it's the one. Great potential, a lot going for it."

"Make an offer," Brian said out of the blue.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

Ted grinned and said, "Will do." He headed for the door of the office.

"Oh Theodore," Brian called stopping him in his tracks. Ted turned to look at Brian. "You better be right about Babylon, or the next beheading will be yours."

"Yes, Boss," Ted said with an involuntary shudder.