RYDER 

“So like I was saying, this kid is so smart that he builds a rocket, saying he thinks mean people who hate other people need to be sent to Uranus.” I tell Jenny.

“Why there?” She asks me.

“Maybe you should ask Mr Brian?” I tell her, trying to find a way out of explaining that.

“Gus will tell me.” She tells me and I pray Justin doesn’t kick my ass because it was a good story.

“Let Gus do his own thing, I need you.” I tell her. 

“For what?” She asks me. 

“Moral support, you're my only friend until I get to know other people.” I tell her.

“It's scary when you have to meet people.” She tells me. 

“Why?” I ask her while my heart breaks.

“What if they don't want you around? I wish life was like fairy tales, everyone lives happily ever after. ” She asks me.

“I have a story to tell you about that.” I tell her. 

“I love your stories, even when I don’t get them.” She tells me smiling. 

I start to think of a way to make her see life can be wonderful if you look around. Then I know what to tell her.

“Did you ever hear how Mr Brian met Justin?” I ask her. 

“Nope, because Gus had to keep it a secret.” She whispers to me. 

“Well, once upon a time there was a king alone in his kingdom. He… let's call him Brian so it's less confusing. King Brian looked around and saw everything he thought he wanted, but realized he was missing something. He searched high and low in Liberty Land but still never found it. He asked his brave knight…” I  really think Ted sucks as a knight’s name. 

“Theodore.” Emmett tells me. 

“Yeah, Theodore will work.” I tell Emmett who sits next to Jenny.

 He asked Theodore “Who will help me rule the world?” 

Theodore thinking hard like a brave knight should tells his king, “Look high and low outside your kingdom for the answers.”   

“I've looked low, but where do I find high?” King Brian asks him. 

“Travel to York for it's a kingdom you are not yet known in.” Theodore tells him.

The king travels quickly in search of what's missing. After meeting with every family in the land he still has yet to find what he's looking for, so he wanders the park, hoping for inspiration on how to find the prince who he had yet to meet. The prince sees the king wandering and is so taken by the king’s beauty that he needs to paint it. Prince…” Okay I suck at courtly names.

“Justy.” Emmett tells me smirking at Justin. I notice the kids joined to listen.

“Prince Justy shouted for the king to stand still, because Justy wanted to immortalize the beauty of the king.” Brian really needs to understand kids don't need to know about naked breakfast.

“The king, taken by the handsome Prince Justy, asks to sit with him, but the prince wanted to share this beauty with the world and offered to spend time with the king after he was done, he even included breakfast.”

 Seriously what's with that glare I didn’t make this up? Well I embellished it a little.       

“The king spent time with the prince and knew he'd succeeded in his quest, for Prince Justy was the answer. Only, like in all fairy tales, three wicked witches couldn’t just let them be happy. So King Brian decided only those who could love his prince would know about him. It worked for five long years until one witch cast around to find out why the king’s gold had been stored somewhere new. She yelled threats that the other witches would make the king sorry for not choosing them. King Brian knew he had to protect his new life, so he built a castle to keep his family safe, the moat was the deepest and the walls the highest, to keep people away from his family. Only his child that he had with one of the witches, wanted to see the princess who he guarded from the witches. The king had a dilemma, because the witches cast a spell to keep the princess in her lonely tower. One night though, she escaped and was rescued by the sheriff. The sheriff knew how to keep the witches at bay. He handed the fair princess to the king for safety and left the witches scrambling to get her back. Only the princess found courage and stood up to tell them, “I shall not return until my lands have peace and happiness.” Now all the knights watching over the king and his family are rising to make her wish come true.” I stop because it where we are.

“Um, is there like a happy part?” JJ asks frowning. 

“There will be when the knights win, but that alas is a story for another day, for now the princess knows the knights will keep her safe.” I tell him, praying I don't have to pull more out of my ass.   

“Yeah, what happened to good old Theodore?” Brian asks me smirking.

“He gets attacked by one of the witches and almost kissed.” A guy tells us, giggling at the painful look on most likely Ted’s face.

“Later, so I can weave it in.” I tell him.

“Blake and Ted, I'll tell you later.” Blake tells us. 

“Get it over with, my grandbabies can come with me to get cookies.” Deb announces.

We watch as the herd runs and Brian grabs Justin before he gets two feet away.

“Cookies.” Justin tells him pouting.

“She always saves you some, play with the adults.” Brian tells him, pecking the pout.

“Hurry up Blake, cookies.” Justin tells him.

“Yeah, cookies.” Emmett bounces on his toes.

“Oh my God, you've grown attached to each other.” Ted smiles at Emmett and Justin. 

“Hello, Queens need princesses too.” Emmett snickers when Justin scowls. 

“Justin, accept the demotion, because all the knights thank you for the return of the Queen.” Blake tells him. 

“Well if he and Drew ever get off their asses, we can promote you.” Brian tells him.

“Um, I think my ass was shown more than enough to know what I want.” Emmett smiles as he rubs said ass. Man, I need to get me a knight.

“So what did Mikey do?” Brian asks Ted. 

“He seems to think Ted should give him what Ben walked away from.” Blake tells us glaring.

“Babe, you took care of it.” Ted kisses the glare away. “With a crowbar.” Ted tells us.

“It's cosmo night, because we have to hear about that.” Emmett announces.

“Think Deb and Carl will watch the kids later?” Justin asks Brian.

“Already agreed to.” Blake tells us. 

“I want to finish the fort for the boys.” Brian tells us.

“Then get your butt in gear, because Ryder wants to meet men.” I tell him. 

And can I say, ‘hallelujah, it's raining men without shirts’ and I get why Blake looks at Ted, the man must work out with Brian. Drew is getting a prime piece himself. Dammit, where is an available man for me to salivate over? 

BRIAN

I never thought building the fort would make me remember that working out isn’t the same as working outside. By the time we finished we all looked at each other wondering if we were up for Babylon tonight. Justin seems to have a large stash of cookies because every time I looked up he was smiling with his hand behind his back. I didn’t tell him JJ was about to snatch it because my twink deserves it for never gaining a pound no matter what shit he eats.

“Do we have to go?” I whine from the bed and realize that’s not attractive.

“It’s one night. We need to have fun.” Justin tells me.

“I’m holding up the bar tonight because I might need to.” I warn him.

“Emmett and Blake will dance with me.” He tells me, putting on a half shirt and low rider jeans.

“Shit I’m going to have to dance just to keep assholes from touching you.” I tell him.

“Please, like my cousin won’t be the center of attention.” Justin rolls his eyes and inspects his ass.

“Can’t you put like a shirt over it? Or hey, my Armani jacket will look great with your outfit.” I tell him.

“Brian, I’ll drown in your clothes.” He tells me.

“I’m good with that.” I tell him smiling.

“And I’m happy with what I have, they can look but this is only yours.” Justin tells me running his hands slowly over said ass.

“You think that is going to get you anywhere but in bed?” I ask him.

So now I sit at the bar wondering how a blow job changed my mind. More likely it was Ryder sitting outside our bedroom door complaining that it’s not fair we all get laid for twenty minutes. Until Justin threw open the bedroom door and chased him down the stairs. Of course Ryder peeked and told Justin that family shares, then ran faster.

“Do you ever wonder how we both married men who dance well?” Ted asks me, leaning on the bar with me.

“Ted, men only cared what I did after the dancing, not during.” I tell him.

“Tha’s becuss yuure Briin Glucking Kin…” Michael says drunkenly.

“Did you get that?” I ask Ted.

“You know the Brian Fucking Kinney motto.” Ted tells me sliding around to my other side.

“Who’s the guy glaring at you?” Ryder asks as he looks at Michael.

“One of the witches.” Blake tells Ryder, who smiles the way Justin does when he wants to do something bad.

“Ryder he’s drunk, nothing you do will be worth it, since Michael never remembers.” Ted tells him.

“I wasn’t doing anything, I promise.” Ryder tells us.

“You know, I don’t believe you’re not related to Justin.” Ted tells Ryder.

“You never know, his mom dated sperm donor first.” Drew tells us.

“Never repeat that, my mom, like Aunty Jen, felt bad for the loser.” Ryder tells Drew.

“Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, wez shuld be to... to... toheather.” Michael stumbles in front of Ryder.

“Um, masbe yoz cud show me a god ime.” Michael slurs, looking at Ryder

“I would love to, but nobody will let me.” Ryder tell him.

“Fuccccckkkkkkkkk um. Weeez cun snek off.” Michael tells him.

“Anybody able to decipher drunkish?” Blake asks us.  

“Aren’t you a drug abuse counselor?” I ask him.

“Yeah, but they see me sober, not lit off their asses.” Blake tells me.

“Youz da ass for teaken my Teddy.” Michael falls on his ass trying to sit on thin air.

“So ever hear the story about the drunk guy waking up in the wrong place?” Ryder smiles.

“RYDER no. Bad boy.” I tell him.

“And that would be really sexy if you weren’t married to Justin.” Ryder tells me, pulling Michael to his feet and running him into the crowd.

“Drew has he ever told you that story?” Justin ask him.

“Nope, you?” Drew asks him.

“No, but then we know he could be making this up as he goes.” Justin tells him.

I watch the two trying to figure out what Ryder could be up to.

MICHAEL

Man my head hurts, but at least I got home. I turn over to see a really hairy back and look around to see I’m not home. 

“You owe me for the throw up.” The giant bear turns to look at me. 

I can’t help it, I screamed, hopped out of the bed, and ran out the front door. I keep running until I get to the diner and see a guy smiling at me.

“Um Dude, you wear superman undies.” He tells me and snaps a picture.

“Don’t worry, the bear just let you get your daddy issues taken care of.” This big guy tells me.

“Drew, that’s kind of gross.” He tells the big guy as they walk out.

“You don’t think that pasty body with the weird fuzz patch isn’t gross? I think Emmy Lou is going to have to help me remember why I’m gay.” The big guy tells him.

“Michael, I made him promise just to hold you so you could feel what it’s like to be a good dad.” The other guy tells me smirking.

It finally registers that he knows what underwear I’m wearing and I run to get out of there, and so do all the other queens, giggling and snapping pictures.