MEL

I know there aren't any quick fixes with the kids and they don't owe me forgiveness, but I would give anything for a smile like Gus gives Brian or Jenny gives to Ryder. Seeing Jenny and Gus running around smiling, carefree, and happy is hard, but like I’ve been told, I need to face the damage not turn away because I don’t like what I see. Watching Brian with his daughter this morning was even harder, he was willing to anything she wanted, and she knows he’s there for her, unlike my kids and me. I never thought I would see Brian put another’s needs ahead of his own, but then, I wanted him to be the devil, not a good father. Because then what I was doing wasn’t so bad. 

Listening to Daphne say her career would still be there was the hardest. She doesn't see her job as a priority but as something she can come back to when she's done being a mother. I always thought it was more important to work a case, because I wanted to show the world I'm just as good as men, but why did it matter? 

“So you're bowing out of the fight?” Daphne asks me. 

“I'm learning what you seem to already know, law will always be there, but kids grow and leave you behind eventually. My children are already leaving me behind and I won’t be able to get them back unless I do the right thing for them.” I tell her. 

“I learned that from my parents. They were doctors with high stress jobs, but if I needed them, they made sure one was available. They could have used work as an excuse, but decided to be my parents.” She tells me. 

“Brian seems to make it work for all his kids. I alway thought he’d be the one to neglect his kid, not me.” I sigh.

“Brian doesn’t do something unless he wants it. So when they decided to have kids together, Brian worked to make sure his kids knew he loves them. Brian will tell you he wanted Justin happy, so they had children, but he loves being a father. My kids love Brian because he listens when they talk and shows them they matter to him. I think a lot of it has to do with what his life was like. He never says much, just that his parents were less than desirable. So he does everything to make the kids lives better.” She tells me. 

“I think that's why Justin’s still pissed at me. I acted like Brian’s childhood wasn’t that big a deal. He's polite to me but I doubt we are going to be friends.” I tell her. 

“Justin can be easy or you barely exist to him. You mess with Brian and the kids, you lose any chance with him. Brian’s giving you a way to prove you've changed, but Justin is more guarded than Brian.” She tells me. 

“Brian seems like he's the one who is more guarded.” I tell her. 

“Yet Brian put up with people who shit on him and still tried to find a reason to stick by them. Does that sound guarded to you?” She asks me. 

“I never saw it that way, just that he wanted to interfere with my marriage.” I tell her. 

“Name something he did that interfered?” She asks me. 

“Offered Lindsay emotional support when she should have been asking it from me.” I tell her. 

“What were you doing while she was running to him and not you?” She asks me. 

“Getting angry that my wife wanted him more than me.” I tell her honestly.

“Why weren’t you angry at the woman who should have come to you rather than a guy who owes you nothing? Brian offered her a shoulder while you sat back and were angry. Sounds like you should have sat your wife down and found out why she didn't talk to you, instead of blaming Brian, who was trying to be her friend.” She tells me. 

“As strange as it is for me to agree, you're right. In a way, I found blaming him easier than realizing I married the wrong person. Lindsay used her friendship with Brian to keep me in line because she knew she could. I used it because I didn’t want to see her for who she is.” I tell her. 

“It's a start and hopefully you'll stick to it, but you need to understand if Justin involves me it's not to sit here and be your friend. It's to get him what he wants, so we need to decide where to do this. Brian doesn’t want Lindsay coming here and I want this finished before next weekend. I need to know which side you're on, because until I'm absolutely sure, I don't trust you either. Give me something to show you’re meeting Brian and Justin halfway.” She tells me taking out a pen and pad. 

“Without Brian paying support we lose everything.” I tell her. 

“Your household is dependent on Gus’s support?” She asks me looking up from her writing. 

“Lindsay likes to shop high end, we can barely afford discount right now. My income isn't covering all our basic needs, but Gus’s support keeps us afloat right now.” I tell her. 

“Brian mentioned this and I'm asking because I need to know. Why were you looking into the policy he had for Gus?” She asks me.

“Lindsay came to me and told me she found out the policy was canceled so I went to find out why. I promise I wasn’t planning anything, I was just angry that he never told us.” I tell her.

“So Lindsay checked it, for what purpose?” She asks me.

“She was either just checking or thought somehow she could get the money. It was horrible when Brian asked why I was looking into it, because then my next thought was, why was Lindsay?” I tell her. 

“Mel, you know this is going to get ugly, and it could be worse, because if you side with Brian and Justin, your marriage will be over. ” She tells me. 

“I think it’s going to end either way, we don’t even want the same things.” I tell her. 

“Do you see Michael getting involved if Jenny stays with Brian and Justin?” She asks me. 

“Good question, I don't know how he would react. Ben might know.” I tell her. 

“I'll talk to him. Brian offered the Kinnetik conference room for us to get together and talk, bring your lawyer.” She tells me.

“I'm a lawyer.” I tell her. 

“As Ted Bundy proved, only a fool represents himself.” She tells me putting up her stuff and walking away.

BRIAN 

Justin’s Uncle pulled up, smiling as he hopped out of an AC Cobra. Justin looked less than happy at the car. I prayed this was my present.

“What do you think my boy?” Matt asks me.

“Uncle Matt that's a race car.” Justin tells him.

“It's road worthy, I made sure. Everyone deserves a toy car.” He tells Justin throwing me the keys.

“You couldn’t buy him something more family oriented?” Justin complains. 

“Why? You have those kinds of cars already. I just thought I'd get him a present for putting up with you ” He tells Justin smiling.

“Yeah, you know what a pain in the ass you can be.” I tell him, kissing his scowl.

“Jen’s visiting with Deb so I thought I come over to see if Ryder’s driving you crazy yet.” He tells us. 

“Ryder’s actually been helping in his way.” Justin tells him. 

“He fixed the fort we were trying to build.” I tell him. 

“He's always been good at that, he just needs to get serious about life.” He tells us. 

“He seems to have found someone he's serious about.” I tell Matt.

“You mean some guy thinks they can put up with him?” He asks us. 

“There's potential for a guy, but he's really taken a shine to a girl.” Justin tells him smiling.

“She hasn't figured out he's gay?” Matt asks us.

“Right now she thinks he's perfect, but at eight she's still learning.” Justin tells him.

“Then he found a playmate his own age.” Matt laughs.

“I found someone who thinks I'm hero material.” Ryder runs to Matt and hugs him.

“You are my boy. Don't think I don't know you put something on my back.” He tells Ryder.

“I just wanted the kids to know your a nice guy.” Ryder tells him.

I walk around to see what Ryder did. I agree but I love him for loving Justin, no pretending needed. 

“PRETEND TO LOVE ME, I BRING GREAT PRESENTS” says the note on his back.

MICHAEL 

I followed Ted to the grocery store and figured I could pretend I was here for groceries too. Ted isn't paying attention to anything but some list in his hand, so I figured it was the perfect opportunity to surprise him. I walk up behind him and run my hands up his butt and he about jumps a mile.

“What the hell are you doing?” Ted asks me, looking very annoyed

“I was just saying hello.” I tell him.

“Do it without touching me.” He tells me.

“Ted, lately I just can’t seem to not want to touch you. Sorry, but I think that you need to see what’s available, instead of sticking to a guy like Blake.” I tell him.

“If you’re trying to hit on me, you're failing miserably.” He tells me.

“Ted, you can’t deny you wanted me.” I tell him.

“I do deny it and if there is any truth to it, it was at a time when I was willing to settle for anything.” He tells me.

“You're still settling for anything, look who you're with.” I tell him.

“Michael, you do understand that nothing is going to make me want you, right? I won’t play this game with you, whatever it seems to be. Is this some attempt to get to see Brian? Because if it is, I’m not your entry into his world. I protect him the way he protects me and his family.” He tells me.

“What about me? I’m the only reason you know him. I was here first, and all of you seem to forget I was the glue that held us together.” I tell him.

“We found a way to tear away the glue that you used to force us to listen to you. I’m going to tell you what I think you need to hear. None of us have time for someone who can’t be happy with what he has, and thinks he needs to fuck up everything good in our lives.” He tells me.

“I’ve never done anything to you but try to make things better.” I tell him.

“Really? You think putting down Blake every time I’m around makes it better, or Emmett being treated as if he wasn’t good enough unless Calvin thought so, was better. Think hard about the fact that Brian kept his husband from meeting you as long as he could because he didn’t want to deal with you and your pet lesbian. You're losing your husband and us with these stupid games you want to play.” Ted tells me.

“Ben will come back when he sees I’m right.” I tell him.

“Then why the fuck are you messing with me, or am I another placeholder?” Ted asks me.

“No one’s a placeholder, they couldn’t be.” I mumble.

“There’s the reason everything in your life is going to hell. You haven’t figured out you didn’t even rank as a placeholder in Brian’s life.” He tells me and walks away.

“That’s not true, he always has and always will.” I mumble, deciding that Ted isn’t worth my time.