JUSTIN 

I always believed in finding the one who makes you whole. I refused to get involved in relationships unless I saw something in a person. I'm not saying that I never had relationships, but that in my way I made sure the other person was worth my time. Until I met Brian I never realized how effortless a relationship could be.

I also realize that if you look up once in awhile, life could be standing in front of you. It was how I met the man who became my reason for being. I remember watching him just wandering the park, to me he looked like he was looking for something, but hadn’t found it. When he was standing still looking at his surroundings I yelled for him to stand still, so I could draw him, never realizing that would become the most pivotal moment of my life. I tried to keep a straight face when he told me it was lunch time, so I let him know breakfast would be included. It was the first time I was willing to say fuck it to my ‘no casual sex’ rule. He let me know he wasn’t looking for a trick, but more, without any pretenses. I saw a future for us if we grabbed and held on for the ride. 

Our first morning together felt as if we had always been together. We didn’t have any awkward moments but talked through the day and into the night. Needless to say we stayed together for the two weeks he visited. It's strange that we both couldn’t see leaving it at a fling, but finding a way to make it work. He wanted to come to me, because he felt that we had a better chance if his so called friends didn’t get involved and after hearing about them, I agreed. He wasn't keeping me a dirty secret, but away from people who would try to interfere with what we were building. It made sense in a way, but I honestly couldn’t understand why they would care about our relationship. 

Ted and Blake finally sat me down and told me what Brian seemed to fear would happen. 

“Justin, it's like they need him to be the screw up, or they have to look at themselves.” Ted tells me. 

“So as long as he's doing what they want, they feel validated in some way?” I ask him confused. These are adults.

“In essence yes.” Blake tells me. 

“I just don’t understand why they think they get to be involved beyond being a friend.” I tell them.

“He has always given them what they wanted.” Ted tells me. 

“How is being with me going to change anything?” I ask him. 

“It shouldn't, but in their eyes you’d be taking a place you didn’t deserve. Michael seems to think that Brian is waiting for him and Lindsay wants Brian to be wild and free, but there when she wants him. What they can't get through their heads is if they were to respect his choices they'd still have him as a friend.” Blake tells me. 

“It's why he doesn’t want you around them.” Ted tells me. 

“Ted, I'm not upset about it.” I tell him. 

“I just wanted you to know what you'd be dealing with when you move to Pittsburgh.” He tells me. 

“We talked about it and I'm having my assistant look for a house outside of Pittsburgh. I want Brian to be able to work and not come home to an empty apartment. We are both ready to be together all the time.” I tell him.

“I think Brian and Ted needed to dump the baggage, but then I’ve just learn to not be around them anymore.” Blake tells me.

“I only go with Brian so he doesn’t have to deal with them by himself.” Ted tells Blake.

“Then come home pissed and spend an hour calming down. I don’t like it, but I’m not going to force you to choose.” Blake tells him.

“I agree with Blake. Brian comes here and it takes days to get him to be my Brian again. If he didn’t need to run the business in Pittsburgh, I would insist on doing it here.” I tell him.

Blake and I ended up friends because we could talk to each other about our frustration that our husbands friends were assholes without making it worse for them. In each other we had someone who could understand and empathize. 

When Brian brought Gus for his first visit I fell in love for a second time. He was the perfect image of Brian. Gus was nice at first, but distant, then he started acting out. Brian and I talked to him and found out he was afraid that Brian was going to be too far away to see him. I called my assistant Amy and told her to get Gus a ticket that would allow him to come when he wanted. Gus still felt left out because he didn’t have a room that was his but was using the guest room. I turned it into his room with things that he expressed interest in. After that Gus saw that he had a place in the life Brian and I were sharing and became a wonderful son. Having him around made me want us to have more children and I asked Brian if we could. Brian wanted me to be happy and made it possible for us to have not one but two more children to love. JJ or James was our first child with me as the donor. I wanted Brian to have a child with me too so we waited a year and Julia was born from Brian’s donation. We were finally a complete family and stayed together in whatever city we needed to be in. 

I ended up getting to meet Brian’s surrogate mother and father, Deb and Carl. They welcomed me and the kids into their lives. I loved this woman for only wanting the best for Brian. 

“You did the one thing that I never thought I would see.” She tells me.

“What’s that?” I ask her.

“Made my son believe he deserves to be loved for who he is.” She tells me.

“He’s easy to love.” I tell her.

“He needs you to always be there for him.” She tells me.

“I need him just as much.” I tell her.

Deb came to see us all the time no matter where it was. When we stayed in Pittsburgh she took time off to spend with us and my mom. Mom and Deb might have come from different worlds but they found common ground as grandmothers to our children. 

We stayed mostly in New York because I didn’t like the way Brian worried when we were in Pittsburgh. In New York we did things all families did, shopped, ate out, and took our kids to do things like the park. In Pittsburgh we still did things but if I came into town we stayed away from places his friends could run into us. 

We kept our relationship a secret until year five and I will not apologize for how the first person found out. I couldn’t sit in the bathroom of his office and listen to this woman tell my husband he was a worthless piece of shit who should have died of an overdose. 

I came in to see Brian while the kids were at school. Brian looked like he needed to relax so I dragged him with me to the bathroom and blew him until he had my favorite smile back on his face. I was cleaning him up when we heard someone yelling that Brian better make time to see her. Brian hauled me up and put his head on my shoulder for a second.

“Justin, let me deal with this, hopefully it’s just PMS.” He tells me.

“Don’t let her get to you.” I tell him.

“That’s Mel not Lindsay, but either way it’s not going to be pretty.” He tells me kissing me and walking out.

I cracked the door to hear what caused her to come here and cause chaos. 

“You fucking piece of shit, you really didn’t think I would find out about you canceling Gus’s life insurance policy.” She yells at him.

“I didn’t cancel Gus having a life insurance policy, just changed it.” He tells her.

“Why did you change anything, the one we got was fine.” She tells him.

“I wanted one that I controlled, not you or Lindsay.” He tells her.

“Just your way of letting me know you’re in control of everything, don’t you mean?” She sneers.

“I needed to change some things and the policy was one of them. It has nothing to do with you, so I don’t understand why you interrupted my entire building to bitch about it. Why were you even looking into it. I changed it a year ago.” Brian asks her.

“I was just making sure it was still in place.” She tells him looking anywhere but him.

“Really, and why did you suddenly want to bring it out and look at it?” He asks her.

“Why did she have to pick you?” Mel mumbles.

“Because you don’t have a dick.” Brian sneers at her.

“Fuck you.” Mel tells him.

“I wouldn’t touch you with Michael’s dick.” He tells her.

“Why couldn’t you have just OD’d, it would have made my life better.” She tells him.

I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t sit there and listen to someone tell him he should have died.

“How is it Brian’s fault that you’re a cunt who married a bigger cunt?” I sneer at her.

“You fuck tricks at work too, real classy Brian.” She sneers at me.

“No, but he fucks his husband.” I tell her.

“Yeah right, like this selfish asshole would get married.” She tells me looking at Brian.

“Justin, you need to get Julia and JJ. Mel, you ever talk about my husband with anything but respect and I’m going to show you how classy I can be.” He tells her.

Mel turned to Ted who walked in looking worried that she knew.

“Is this some kind of joke?” She asks Ted, who looks to Brian. Brian nods to let him know it’s up to him what Ted told her.

“No, it’s not a joke, they’ve been married for four years and together for five.” Ted tells her.

“Wait till I tell your best friend and Lindsay that you kept this from them.” She smirks and leaves.

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t stay in there and listen to her spew shit on you.” I tell Brian walking into his arms.

“Justin, we couldn’t hide it forever, just don’t let them get to you.” Brian tells me holding me tight.

“I love you, and they won’t change that.” I tell him.

“I love you too, just promise me that you’ll tell me if they bother you.” He tells me.

“Brian, Blake and I will be there too.” Ted tells us.

“I need to tell Gus that everyone will most likely know.” Brian tells me.

“Brian, I’ll handle things here, you go spend time with your family. Hopefully they’ll just leave you alone.” Ted tells us and not one of us believed it.

Brian and I left the building, determined to spend our last day in our world before it exploded.