Michael poured himself a cup of tea and then sat at the table in the kitchen of his mother's house. He had grown up in this house, it was comfortable and familiar, but he never thought he would be in a position to have to call it home again at this stage in his life.
He tried once again to think back to where and how it had all gone bad. His life was unraveling, everything he had ever wanted was at his fingertips, and now it was all...gone.
He had loved Brian almost from the moment he met him all those years ago. Everyone always laughed at him when he admitted dreaming of growing old with the handsome brunette. No one really took him seriously about anything, not the least of which was spending his golden years rocking side by side on a wrap-around porch attached to a cozy little home the two of them shared.
When Brian had agreed to give it a shot, or at the very least to take what they had...the best friendship anyone could ask for... and bring it to the next level, Michael thought his dreams were all coming true. He tried not to think about the fact that Brian's eyes never glazed over in the throes of passion, that he never saw or heard anything beyond a need for immediate release, no professions of love, no grand gestures of affection.
While they were together, he had convinced himself that things were as they should be, and now that he could see in the light of day that was not the case, he had no idea what he was going to do. Apart from the companionship and pleasure that their quasi-relationship offered him, there was also a certain credibility and a definite standard of living that he knew he had no way of replicating on his own. He had never done anything in his life to deserve the kind of respect he got standing beside Brian Kinney, and stocking shelves and running a cash register certainly wasn't going to afford him any of the luxuries he had gotten used to sd Brian Kinney's significant ‘whatever'.
He held his head in his hands, bemoaning his fate, when his cell phone began to play an old Pink Floyd song, "Money", which he recognized as the ringtone he had set for his friend Ted. While they weren't really close in the way that he and Brian were, knowing each other's secrets and sharing a past, he enjoyed Ted's company, and thought that Ted felt much the same.
"Hey, Ted, what's up?" Michael said as he flipped open his phone and hit the call answer button. - "Oh, I was just checking to see if you and Brian wanted to play a couple of games at Woody's and then head over to Babylon later. It seems like ages since you two have been out of the town."
"Brian and I broke up." He could feel the sharp pain like a knife slicing through his chest, and could barely breathe, as tears welled up in his eyes. - "Wow, I can't say I ever thought he deserved you, but I hate to hear you hurting like you are. Why don't you come out with me and Em anyway? The last thing you want to do is sit and feel sorry for yourself - that asshole sure won't. Where are you staying anyway?"
"I'm at Ma's house, if you can believe that. A grown man, and here I am living with my mother. Not sure I'd be such good company tonight, Ted. Maybe some other time, huh?"
"Come on, Michael, if that's the way you feel, sitting there being depressed isn't gonna' make things any better. Nothing like a strong drink and the beat of the music to change one's point of view. At least come out to Woody's for a little bit, even if you don't feel much like dancing tonight. "
"Yeah, I guess you have a point, Ted. I'll meet you guys at Woody's in a little bit."
BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ
It had been just under a week since Justin had barged into his office and taken what he wanted...what they both wanted...without batting an eyelash, but for the first time in his life Brian found that having fucked the object of his desire into the mattress - repeatedly at that, which was already out of character for the Stud of Liberty Ave -he only wanted the blonde more, if that was possible. Yet, try as he might, he still had not been able to talk Justin into a repeat of the amazing afternoon (and evening) they had spent giving and taking more pleasure than he could ever remember with any other man.
He let his eyes drop to the charcoal sketch that Justin had given him, a thank you gift in appreciation for the new brochure that Brian had shown him - it really knocked his socks off. That's not the only thing I'd like to knock off of him, Brian thought. He couldn't believe how Justin had captured a side of himself that he didn't even know existed. The man looking back at him from the small canvas had his face, his eyes and his smile, but there was something there behind his eyes that he was sure had never been there before.
Is this really how Justin saw him? He wasn't really sure how he felt about that, couldn't really wrap himself around showing this much of himself to the younger man. Was Justin really aware of the vulnerability he seemed to have drawn there? Was the emotion so obvious to himself in the sketch really there for Justin to see when he looked at him...and if it was...could he handle that?
Even more though, he found himself wondering if Justin was really seeing this soft, sensitive side of himself, then why was he fighting so hard to hold him at arms length? What would it take to convince the man that for the first time he could remember, probably for the first time ever, he was actually hoping to follow his heart and see if maybe they had a chance. Brian wasn't sure if he was capable of loving someone the way he thought Justin deserved to be loved, but God help him, he want to try more than anything he had ever wanted in his life.
What was it that Justin had said? He struggled to think back to their conversation without picturing the young man writhing under him with lust filled eyes only minutes before they talked. Get a grip, Kinney, he thought to himself. How am I gonna' get him to change his mind if even just thinking about him makes me hard and yearning to fuck him until I see that look on his face that he gets right before he comes?'
As suddenly as that thought came to him, he realized what he had to do. "My own parents didn't love me enough to stay," Justin had said. That was it. As lesbionic as it sounded, the way to get Justin to reconsider and let his guard down was not going to be by appealing to his passionate, sensual , sexual nature, even though every fiber of his being wanted nothing more than that. No...the way to persuade Justin not to throw away what they might be able to find with each other was going to be to show him he could trust Brian - with his heart.
BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ
Cynthia huffed to herself as she called Justin to set up an appointment for the following day. She had been Brian's assistant long enough to know that there was something more going on here than just a professional meeting. She loved the tall brunette like a brother, and was loyal to him to a fault, but she was more than little miffed by the possibility that her long time friend and boss had actually asked her to call to arrange a date for him and that artist whose account he had been working on.
She wondered to herself if the young man even had any idea what he might be walking into if he accepted the invitation. If her instincts were correct, and she knew Brian better than almost anyone, then even though there were plenty of reasons he might need to consult with Justin that were well within the scope of what could be considered a proper business lunch, the conversation at this meeting would have less to do with the boards that the art department had been ordered to work on ‘until they fuckin' got it right', and much more to do with the fact that the blonde was gorgeous, and sexy...and gay!
Her first clue was the location. Brian often wooed business clients by taking them to high end restaurants in an attempt to impress them, but The Melting Pot was definitely not the kind of place that catered to corporate clientele. She had been trying to get her boyfriend to take her there for weeks, having heard about the mood lighting and fondue for two that was all the rave around the water cooler.
Besides that, she had opened the box that had been delivered just a half hour ago, before placing it on Brian's desk as soon as she realized that the parcel was from a jeweler and not the office supply house special order that she had been expecting. The paint brush and palette tie tack that she found when she lifted the lid was beautiful, and extravagant, and so out of character for her boss that it had left her stunned. Brian never bought gifts for anyone, not even his family. He had always left that task up to her, as annoying as that habit was.
Not to mention Brian had been overbearing, even more so than usual, and irritable, and miserable...she could go on and on, yet ever since he got back from wherever he was yesterday morning (most likely Harris' Fine Jewelry) when he left without telling her where he could be located, he had a determined gleam in his eye that she recognized quite easily, but a softness and gentleness to his demeanor that she did not.
Brian Kinney had a plan, of that she was very, very sure, and she was just as sure that that plan had something to do with Justin Taylor. She smiled to herself as she wondered if it was even remotely possible that her boss, the famous Brian Kinney, had finally met his match. Could ‘the stud of Liberty Ave' actually have gotten turned down by a man barely old enough to be legal? She couldn't imagine anything else that would explain Brian's strange behavior, nor confound and perplex him more.
She had no idea the changes that had been taking place in her old friend, the silent internal struggle that was slowly forcing him to reveal, to himself at least, that for the first time in his life, he was growing up. He wanted someone to share his life with, someone to come home to, someone to challenge him and...yes...to love him, and that the one he wanted, the one he couldn't get off his mind, was none other than Justin Taylor.