As they enter the loft, Justin can't help but be impressed with the place the brunette calls home. For an artist, how a person decorates a room says a lot about who they are, and the clean lines and minimalist décor that he saw as he looked around told the blonde that Brian likes things simple, no clutter, no muss. He had already witnessed Brian's no nonsense attitude, but became aware that this viewpoint seemed to carry through into every area of his life.

He also noticed that Brian has very expensive tastes. It was obvious that everything was top of the line, from the furniture, through to the artwork, right down to the kitchen appliances. It appeared that this man was used to only the best, and surely was accustomed to getting his way. ‘Sorry to disappoint you Mr Kinney', the blonde thought to himself. ‘You may feel like you're calling all the shots here, but as soon as you have your say, I am out of here no matter what you want.'

"Can I take your coat?" Brian asked him, as he took it off and laid it over his arm. "No, thanks" he responded. "This won't take long enough for that to be necessary." Justin hated being so abrupt, his country club upbringing often left him reacting to people with more manners than was called for, but he knew that he couldn't afford to let his guard down with this man at all. Knowing what he had to do didn't change the fact that he had never been more attracted to any man before in his life, and he was well aware that it would be embarrassingly easy for the handsome man to turn temptation to his favor.

Brian had walked up the few stairs to his raised bedroom, taking off his coat, and slipping off his shoes, pushing open the floor to ceiling room panels that divided the room from the main living area so that he could maintain eye contact with the petite blonde. He didn't know how to start, or where he was going to pull the strength from to open up the wounds he knew he would have to reveal in order to make Justin believe him.

He watched as Justin took a seat on the stool next to the kitchen island, averting his gaze so obviously that Brian could actually feel the loss of contact. "Justin," he began as he walked back into the main living area, startling the younger man.

Justin's eyes darted to meet his own and just as quickly shifted back to the wall in front of him. "Justin," Brian repeated, " I know that you believe that I lied to you. " He heard the blonde let out a huff as he continued.  "Mikey...Michael...is my best friend...has been my best friend since we were 14, and while I love him, and always will, I am not in love with him. We are not, and have never really been in the type of relationship that you are thinking we had."

"I think it's quite obvious that we have much different opinions about what a relationship is Mr. Kinney, Justin observed. "So, why don't you just start with telling me what the two of you are...instead of what you are not."

"Ok," Brian answered, swiping his hand through his hair as he did when he was distressed. He gazed for a few moments into the blue eyes that had so quickly become an oasis for him. He could imagine himself falling under the spell of those gorgeous blue orbs for years to come, and he wasn't sure if he was more afraid of that, or trying to live his life without it.

The brunette took a few steps toward the young man who was causing so many conflicting emotions to rage through his body, and felt his heart lurch as the blonde quickly moved out of his seat and around to the other side of the kitchen island.

"Justin, even though I know that I have a lot to explain, I can't believe that you could possibly be afraid of me. I can't take it if you are." The older man said.

"To be honest, Brian, what scares me the most is how you make me feel, and how little control I seem to have when it comes to resisting you. You know that I made up my mind a long time ago to never let myself be put in a position again where I could care enough about someone to let them remind me that love can't be trusted. I thought the pain my parents caused me when I came out was the worst thing that I could ever feel...until tonight."

"You have to believe me, the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you. Please sit down and let me start at the beginning." Justin found himself walking back to the stool to sit down, unable to squelch his curiosity about what Brian would have to say. There was something in the brunette's eyes that he couldn't quite put his finger on, other than just pure raw sex he saw there whenever he allowed himself to get lost in them.  "Mikey and I are not a couple, Justin. You have to believe me."

"Does he know that, or is he just another casualty of the ‘I want what I want when I want it' Kinney attitude'?"

"Ju...Just...shit." Brian once again absentmindedly ran his fingers through his dark locks. He only stuttered when he was very uncomfortable, something that he avoided at all costs. This was going to be even harder than he thought. " I tried, I actually tried to be what Mikey needed - what he always wanted. I just never could. He deserved that, hell, he deserves more than I could ever hope to give him."

"I met Mikey at school, when a bully was taking his best shot at him, and I wasn't having any of it. I pretty much pommeled the guy, and it ended with his hand slammed in my locker and a few of his bones broken. "

"Two days later, I was running down the street, trying to get away from my old man, who was drunk again and ready to spend a little sparring time with his favorite punching bag...me. Mikey was riding his bike, and told me to hop on. He took me home to his Mom, who took care of my wounds, but more importantly, showed me the first real love and compassion that I had ever known."

‘After that, every time Jack would go on one of his rampages,  and mom would stand by and watch it all with a bottle of booze in one hand and a Bible in the other, it was Mikey and his family that I ran to for shelter. They were the ones who took me to the hospital the few times it got really bad, and they were the ones who always had an extra bed made when I couldn't take it anymore. "

If it wasn't for them, I might not be standing here Justin. They saved my life time and time again, not just physically, but...hell, I don't know how I would have gotten though it without them. So you see, Sunshine, I know first hand all about how painful love can be."

Justin could hear the emotion in Brian's words, hear the pain he was forcing himself to relive. He could see in Brian's eyes that telling him this was almost as hard as what he had endured as a child.

"So when Mikey asked me to give it a shot between us, that no one would ever love me like he did, I felt like I owed it to him to try. And I really did my best to make it work, Justin, I did. "

"What he did make me realize though, is that I like the idea of having someone to come home to at the end of the day, someone to share my life with. When I let myself think about that however, just close my eyes and imagine how it could be, it was never him I pictured waiting for me."

"I never made him any promises to him, and I never lied to him and told him I was feeling anything more than what I just told you. I trust him with my life, he is my family, and he always will be, but I have never been in love with him. That's what I said when I told him that part of our lives is over.  He didn't seem surprised, and we both agreed that trying to make it into something it would never be was not to either of our advantage. "

"Can't you see, I want him to find someone who can love him the way he deserves to be loved, and and..." sheepishly, eyes cast downward, "I want that for myself as well."

"Before I met you, I never thought I was worth loving. My folks sure told me often enough that I wasn't. Marriage was something people endured, and love was something people pretended so they could get laid. I still don't believe I am worth much, but I do know what I want"

"I don't know how to explain what I feel, Justin. I can't explain it, I can't define it, fuck, I've never felt anything like it before in my life.  I love you Justin, and I need nothing more than for you to believe me."  A single tear rolled down his face, as Brian struggled to maintain his composure. He had torn down every wall he had carefully built up through the years, and it was leaving him feeling more exposed than he had ever felt in his life.

He reached out to tenderly cup Justin's face in his hand, running his thumb over the younger man's lips. As he leaned in to gently kiss those lips along the trail his thumb had made, Justin initially put his hands on Brian's chest to push him away, however as soon he touched the man who made his knees weak and his heart pound,  all was lost as he gave in to the passion pouring out between them.

He ripped Brian's shirt off without even taking the time to open the buttons, as he kissed away the tears he couldn't bear to see. His hands moved down to graze across Brian's already hardened cock, causing the brunette to gasp into their kiss as he took no time at all with either  the belt or the zipper. His need to release the aroused member was too powerful to stop. He licked a trail down Brian's chest, pausing  to tease his already sensitive nipples on his way down to claim his prize.

Brian hissed and cried out as Justin took his cock fully into his mouth in one move, reveling in the sensations as the tip of his manhood hit the back of Justin's throat. "Ah, God... Justin...fuck," he moaned as his head flew back and he struggled to hold himself upright. "Bed...now...please...can't wait another minute."

By the time Justin lay back on the mattress and scooted up to watch his lover crawl cat like towards him, both men were completely naked and unable to form any coherent thoughts. Their need was so great that their arms and tongues seemed like they were everywhere at once.

Brian barely had time to grab a condom and prepare his sweet little ass before he heard Justin pant, ‘now Brian, please, can't wait, just do it...I need to feel you inside me...ahhhh, fuck!" Justin's screams went straight to Brian's cock, and it took all the control he could muster not to come just from the sound of it.

The next morning...

Justin woke up next to Brian with no idea what to do with all that he was feeling. What on earth was wrong with him? How could he compromise everything he held dear for just another night of passion?

He could still feel Brian inside of him, and he realized that he would love nothing more than to feel that every single morning for the rest of his life. This man had broken down walls that he had carefully erected to protect himself, and he didn't know how he was going to rebuild them.

He knew though that he wanted the whole package. A one night stand - even two - sure, he was ok with that. However, he was not ok being Brian's fuck buddy, and despite what Brian has said last night, he was sure that the famous Stud of Liberty Ave was not going to be willing to give him any more than that. He was surprised at the twinge of pain that caused him, realizing with a start that despite his efforts, Brian Kinney had gotten into his heart, the one place no one had penetrated before.  

As the other man opened his eyes and smiled over at him, he told him all that was on his mind.

"Justin," Brian replied. "I love you more every time we are together."  He wanted nothing more than to take the blonde again, but mercifully realized quickly that he had to find a way to let this amazing man know that it was so much more than that.  

He knew he could not risk letting Justin think it was all  just about the sex, but...how could he do it? Could he spend more than a few minutes lying here next to him, smelling not only his unique scent but the remnant of their night of lovemaking, and not show him how much he wanted only to be back inside him?

Justin misunderstood the conflict in Brian's eyes as the older man paused to ponder if he could really take a chance that this beautiful man in his bed could love him, could commit to him.

"I don't want to be a contest you win, Brian. The one who challenged you, fun for a while, but then so easily thrown away when you get bored and move on.  I may seem brave and confident to you, but I don't  have the kind of courage it takes to take a chance on love. I choose. That's what I do. I choose when to fuck, who to fuck, and when to walk away. That's how I maintain control. If I give my heart away to you, I lose my balance, and I may never get it back."

Brian placed his hand so gently under Justin's chin and lifted his head until their eyes met. "First of all, you little twat," Brian smiled, " you have ruined me for any other man. Why would I want to fuck anyone else after you? No one could compare.  

"Prepare to be touched," Brian said sweetly, using a line from the brochure as he looked down at his lover tongue in cheek.  Moments later both men were coming up for air, realizing not only that neither one was going to be on time for work today, but that  everything had changed, and their lives would never be the same. "I choose you!" Justin whispered into Brian's ear, and both men smiled.