"What am I supposed to tell him this time?" Cynthia asked. She was getting a little tired of fielding Justin Taylor's calls requesting an appointment. Each time Brian would tell her to set something up with Joe from the art department, which apparently did not satisfy the young artist.
Brian had no intention of telling his assistant that he had been avoiding the other man on purpose. There was no fucking way he could ever explain the effect that the young blonde had on him, and more importantly on his cock.
"Tell him that you will have to check with me and call him back." Brian sighed, thinking to himself that he was going to have to give in and see him, but not before he had a plan to keep his raging libido from being obvious to the young artist, as he was sure it had been at the gallery. Brian didn't do needy, and he was not about to start now.
He wondered once again how it was even possible that the blonde had affected him so deeply that he ended up bringing home those two twinks and fucking them into the mattress, not even stopping when Mikey had come home and found them. While they had been enthusiastic, they weren't even really that good, but his need had been so great by that point that he would try anything to get the blonde artist off his mind.
He forced his thoughts to turn from Justin, instead thinking back to the months since he and Mikey had gone from being best friends, to ‘friends with benefits' or fuck buddies, or whatever you wanted to call it. He knew it had been a bad idea when Michael had talked him into it, telling him that it wouldn't change anything between them, and since they spent so much time together anyway, they might as well get some pleasure out of it as well.
Right from the start it was obvious that while it was often a relief to be able to get off without going out, or doing it himself, there was no insatiable hunger or overwhelming desire when he thought about this man with whom he shared his life. Still, he did love Mikey, with a real and undeniable affection born of a lifetime of taking care of each other, each relying on the other to always be there, no matter what.
He wondered to himself if it was actually their history, or the increasingly unsatisfying sex that had made this morning's argument so intense. For years it had been Brian protecting Mikey from bullies, and Mikey offering Brian a place to stay, a shoulder to cry on, and even a mom to comfort him whenever his dad decided it was time for someone to get a beat down. He cringed when he let himself remember how often that had actually come to pass.
He never wanted to be in a ‘couple', never had any desire to be in a relationship. His mom and dad had shown him a long time ago that none of that was real, that marriage was a farce folks entered into so they could get laid without anyone looking down their nose at them, and that love was a myth, made up to make people feel better about themselves, not really hiding the hatred and bitterness behind it.
He had let his guard down with Mikey, against his better judgment. He never had any intention of promising him monogamy, he made sure to clarify that right from the start. Still it rattled him to know that Mikey didn't really seem to care. Everything had become so complicated. Somewhere along the line, without even being aware it was happening, Brian had begun to like having someone to come home to, even allowing himself to find comfort in believing that he was worth loving, despite what his old man had told him his whole life.
So, when Mikey told him that not only did he not expect to be the only one Brian fucked, but that he actually wanted them both to continue tricking, it hit home to Brian that what he really wanted was to be enough - to have someone in his life that not only made him feel like nothing else mattered, but to have that same person so fulfill all of his longings, that he didn't really want anyone else. He was growing up, and he wanted to believe that someone could care about him, and love him as he is.
Now, on top of this rather startling revelation, he was also trying to deal with whatever the fuck was going on with the blonde he couldn't get out of his mind, as well as his fear that pushing Mikey out of his bed, and out of his loft, would also mean that the man who had come to mean so much to him would also walk out of his life. He couldn't bear to think about a life without Mikey to lean on, even though he would never admit that to anyone other than the man himself. He knew that the time had come for them to talk.
BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ
Michael walked into the deli just off of Liberty Ave where Brian had asked him to meet. He knew this was not going to end well, given the fact that not only did not want to meet at the loft, but he also didn't want any of their friends or family to be there, and so had chosen a place they would not run into anyone they knew.
As he entered and walked over towards the brunette he had loved as long as he could remember, Brian looked up, and smiled a smile that did not quite reach the rest of his face. Michael could see that Brian was nervous as well, and he instantly became even more unsettled.
"Hi Mikey," Brian said quietly, pulling back as the other man tried to place a kiss on his lips. Instead he reached and gave Mikey a chaste kiss on the cheek, causing the dark haired man's stomach to churn once again.
"I think we both know that things cannot continue as they have been," Brian began. "It's mainly my fault. Even though I will always love you, I am not in love with you, and I can't change that. I never should have let you talk me into this arrangement that we have had."
"Arrangement?" Michael whined. "Is that all it was to you? I can't believe that's how you really feel."
"Come on Mikey, don't fucking queen out on me here, you know what I mean. This is not right for either of us. You deserve someone who loves you the way you want to be loved. I could never see that before. All I saw was keeping my dick happy, and little else mattered. But I have come to see that there is more to life, and that neither of us are going to find it tied to each other. "
As tears began to run down Michael's face, Brian continued. "Mikey, you are the only one I have ever let myself trust. You took care of me when no one else would, or could, and you let me know that I could always count on you. "
"Yeah, well, it wasn't always easy, but somebody had to do it," Michael sniffed . Brian reached out to wipe a stray tear from his face as both men smiled sad smiles at each other, realizing that what they had was now over.
"This is not a time to joke Mikey, we have to resolve this before we lose our friendship as well . I think you know that we were never meant to be a couple. And I know that I can live without fucking you, I'm still Brian Kinney for fuck's sake, and it will be a cold day in hell before I have to worry about not having a line of men just hoping for a nod from me. But I don't want to even think of my life without you in it. You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose that."
"That's fine for you. If I thought this would happen, I never would have lied and told you I didn't care if you tricked. I know your fucked up rules, Brian, and I know who I am. I thought that I had to make you believe that I agreed with your crazy views in life, so that you'd stay. Now I have lost it all anyway. You think I don't know you can have any man you want? I knew I could never compete, so instead I just tried to be what I thought you needed and maybe you would keep me around. I didn't fool myself that you would ever fall in love with me, but what am I supposed to do now, huh? I'll be the laughing stock everywhere I go. Who's gonna' love me now? I'm so afraid to be alone!"
Brian moved his chair closer to this man whose heart he was breaking, and pulled him into an embrace, as he placed his hand firmly behind Michael's neck and squeezed. "There is a guy out there who will be so lucky to have you, and will give you all you ever dreamed about. You did the impossible, Mikey. You took me from a place where I thought that all relationships are bullshit, and that fucking is all that matters, and you taught me that I could love when I never thought I could. You made me see that there is more to life, and now I want that, too. I want to find someone I can love with my whole heart, who will love me back but not take any of my shit." Brian smirked. "Don't ever sell yourself short, Mikey, If you can do all that you have for me, than there is someone out there much less fucked up than me just waiting for all you have to offer, who won't be quite so much of a challenge."
Mikey chuckled slightly, looking up at this man he needed like he needed air, and placing his own arms around his neck in a tender embrace. "I love you Brian!"
Brian gazed into Michael's eyes softly, placing their foreheads together as he said, "Me, too, Mikey, always have, always will."
With that, he kissed Michael, hard, with probably more passion than he ever had. Then, as Mikey stood up and walked slowly out of the deli, turning briefly with eyes still moist with emotion, Brian averted his eyes and quietly whispered, "see ya Mikey."
He sat there for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, spent and almost unable to find the energy he needed to stand up and move on with his day.
BJ <3 BJ <3 BJ
Hours later, Brian was alone at his desk, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. He had no idea how long he had been sitting there, and truth be told, he couldn't have cared less. The whole scene with Michael this morning had left him emotionally drained, a feeling he was neither used to nor comfortable with, and he had no doubt that any should any of his employees have the misfortune of annoying or disappointing him this afternoon, there would be hell to pay. So, he had not left his office once since he had returned, and he had left strict instructions with Cynthia that he was not to be disturbed for any reason.
As he considered getting up to pour himself a glass of Jim Beam, he suddenly heard a commotion in the hallway, and stomped towards the noise, ready to rip the head off whoever the hell was causing such an uproar. As his intercom buzzed at the same moment, he began to yell for his assistant, "Cynthia, what the fuck don't you understand about no calls and no interruptions?".
As he drew closer to the source of the hubbub , he heard Cynthia loudly exclaim, "sir, you can't just barge in there. " At that moment the door suddenly opened towards hi m, and he froze in place as he came face to face with the last person he could have expected to be entering his office.
"Justin!" he exclaimed, unable to keep the shock from registering on his features. "Why are you here, and more importantly, how the hell did you get past security and gain access to my office?" He could hardly believe that the little twat had the balls, not to mention the ingenuity to stampede his way past Cynthia, find his way to his office, and just help himself to turn the knob and walk right in.
"Well, Mr. Kinney," Justin drew out the name in the most delicious way, it went straight to Brian's cock, and he immediately was aware that all the blood was draining from his face, and heading directly south.
"It seems that getting an appointment with you is downright impossible, not to mention that other little obstacle that is in the way between you, me and a completed media campaign for my art. So, I decided that I had to take matters into my own hands, in a manner of speaking. " The blonde smirked to let Brian know that he was well aware of the innuendo beneath his words as he addressed the older man.
"Oh...and just what obstacle might that be?" Brian asked as he licked his suddenly dry lips, barely able to get the words out. His right eyebrow shot up as he saw Justin walks back towards the door, and then heard the lock in the door fall into place.
"I am very ambitious, Mr. Kinney, and I want my work to make me a very successful man. I believe that you are the man to accomplish that goal." As he spoke, Justin was once again walking towards the astonished brunette. "However," he continued, " I have been walking around with this ache for days, and nothing I do (Justin blushed as the implications of what he was saying began to show clearly on the other mans' face) seems to make it go away. You, my friend, are probably the sexiest man I have ever had the pleasure to meet, and I know for a fact that you are attracted to me as well - I can quite easily see the mouthwatering evidence of that right in front of me." Justin paused here for dramatic effect, and then with a glint in his eye, continued when all Brian could do was swallow, stare and seat himself on the edge of the desk that he had slowly been backing up to as the other man talked.
"I have no doubt that we are not going to get anything done until that obstacle is removed, and so, if I may suggest, I think I should remove all my clothes, and when I am done, then I will do the same for you. After that, I thought we would just fuck and get it over with, you know, take the edge off so that we can move past this and get down to more lucrative business and make me a very rich man. "
As Justin uttered the last three words, Brian gasped as the blonde's face broke out into the singularly biggest and brightest smile he had ever seen, and his fingers punctuated each syllable, trailing along the entire length of Brian's cock with delightful abandon.
The brunette could not hold back the moan that escaped his lips as the sensation of that simple gesture threatened to make him lose all control. He simply could not resist this man who was so wantonly stroking him now. Justin was simply irresistible, having gotten under his skin in a way that no other man ever had. It was like a fever, which, if left untreated, just keeps rising out of control, until delirium takes over, leaving its victim quivering and panting.
As Brian gazed into the bluest eyes he had ever seen, not even aware that the blonde was doing just as he promised by removing every stitch of clothing he had on, he saw the determination, lust, and something else he could not quite identify, and would have to think about much later when he was capable of coherent thought.
He gasped once again as his body responded to two things simultaneously. One, Justin was now most definitely completely unclothed, his hardness pressing onto Brian's now totally engorged manhood, and two, Justin's lips were now directly over his, his tongue swiping along his bottom lip for entrance, and his breath, hot and sweet, burning his own in the most delicious way possible.
Brian opened his mouth to allow him entry, thinking to himself, ‘oh, God, it's never felt like this...is this what I've been missing... is it possible that everything that I have ever believed is wrong...nothing has ever felt this right...this is amazing...can't get enough...' His thoughts were a jumbled mess as another moan slipped from between his lips. He grabbed the back of Justin's neck and pressed in to deepen the kiss, slipping his own shirt off his shoulders, not even stopping to wonder how and when it had been unbuttoned and fallen open.