Blinded

Chapter 11

"Do you think he knew I'm blind?" Brian asked as he collapsed on the sofa.

"I doubt it," Justin said as he hung their jackets on the back of the computer chair. "He seemed a little … stunned."

"That's my Mikey … stunned!" Brian said with a chuckle.

Justin was about to make some snide comment when he thought better of it. Even though he hadn't liked the offensive little man, Brian had said he was his best friend. He kept his mouth shut.

"How old are you … really?" Brian asked.

"I told you, I'm almost eighteen," Justin said with a frown.

"Then why did Michael say you looked about twelve."

"I do look young," Justin admitted. "People tell me that all the time, but he was just exaggerating. He didn't seem to like me."

"Michael doesn't like people who take my time away from him. That's why I said you were a client. He doesn't bug me about work."

"Doesn't he have a life of his own?" Justin asked.

Brian snorted. "Not so you'd notice, although he has been dating a chiropractor lately."

"A chiropractor?" Justin asked. "How did he find a chiropractor?"

"Fell off a ladder."

"Jesus!"

"My sentiments exactly," Brian chuckled. He didn't much like Dr. Dave.

"Are you tired after all that?" Justin asked.

"A bit."

"Want to lie down and have a nap?" Justin asked giving Brian his most seductive smile before he realized that Brian, of course, couldn't see him.

"I don't want a fucking nap!" Brian shot back. He wasn't a goddam baby.

"Well, you did just get out of the hospital," Justin defended himself.

"It was rehab," Brian replied tersely, and then he realized what that sounded like. "Sounds like I just kicked a drug or alcohol problem," Brian chuckled. He wished his problem was that simple, not that he hadn't wondered from time to time if he should check into that kind of rehab.

"Want to watch TV?" Justin asked.

"Don't you mean 'listen' to TV?" Brian responded making quotation marks in the air. "I've never been much of a Saturday morning cartoon fan."

"You don't know what you're missing. I think the Powerpuff Girls are on about now."

"Powerpuff Girls? Are you shitting me?"

"No, it's a cartoon show. The animation is great. That's what I want to do," Justin explained.

"When you grow up?" Brian felt compelled to ask.

"Yeah," Justin replied with sarcasm, "when I grow up."

Brian knew he had pissed the boy off once again but sometimes he couldn't help himself. The kid asked for it. Fucking Powerpuff Girls! How gay was that! Brian forced himself to sit through the program while Justin tried to explain what was going on, and commented on the drawing and the use of color.

"So what do you think?" Justin asked when the program was over.

"It loses something in the dark," Brian replied.

"Oh, yeah, I guess it would," Justin admitted. God, he was dumb sometimes, making Brian sit through the whole show. "What do you normally do on Saturday?"

"Why?"

"I just wondered."

"Let's see," Brian said thinking of how to answer that question. "In the good old days when I could see I'd have breakfast with the boiz at the diner, we'd go to the gym for a couple of hours, we'd meet at Woody's for drinks and then hit Babylon late at night."

"And then you'd come home?" Justin asked.

"Eventually."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that sometimes I would come home with someone, sometimes I would go home with someone, and occasionally there was no one worth leaving with. Sometimes it was very slim pickings."

"And would these guys stay all night?" Justin asked hoping to get a sense of how all this worked in Brian's life.

"Almost never," Brian said emphatically.

"Why not?"

"That wasn't their purpose."

"What was their purpose … exactly?"

"To get each other off … and then to disappear."

"Didn't you ever want any of them to stay?" Justin asked innocently.

Brian thought for a minute. "No," he stated, "but there has been the occasional one who didn't know when to leave."

"This guy who's sending these notes…?"

"Yeah, the one I think is sending them. He was here about a month ago now. He stayed all night, and then he got snooping around the next morning. When I told him to get out he tried to get me to let him stay by threatening to reveal something that he had found out."

"Reveal something? What did he find out?" Justin asked. Brian was just about the most forthright person Justin had ever met. What could he be hiding? "You have secrets?" Justin asked.

"You have no idea," Brian said shaking his head.

"What did he find out … this guy?"

Brian sighed and looked up at the ceiling like there was something definitive written there if only he could read it. He wondered if he should reveal that secret to Justin. Hell, the kid knew his pin number and had had every chance to clean out his bank account. He trusted him enough to have him live here with him at least for the next day or two. Maybe he could trust him with this. "If I tell you something, it never leaves this room. Understand?" Brian demanded.

"I'll never tell," Justin said crossing his heart.

"It's not a joke. Nobody knows about this, except that guy. And look at the trouble it's caused."

"I swear, Brian. I won't reveal anything."

"Go over to my desk and bring back the book that's lying there."

Justin got up and went to the desk. He saw a paperback laying face down beside the computer. He picked it up and turned it over. "Turn of the Screw" he read from the cover. "Written by Phillip Remington. What is this?"

"You've never read it, I see," Brian said shaking his head.

"I've read 'The Turn of the Screw" by Henry James. It was required reading last year."

"Too bad that fucking trick hadn't read that 'Screw' too. If he had had something better to do with his time, we wouldn't be having this problem."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm Phillip Remington," Brian said evenly.

"You're… You mean … you wrote this book?" Brian nodded. "You did? Oh my God, and it's published and everything?"

"Well, you're holding it, aren't you?" Brian smirked.

"Wow, a published author! What's it about?" Justin asked innocently.

Brian scowled. "I'm not sure I should assault your virgin ears with a précis of the story."

"What … what do you mean?"

"It's an erotic gay thriller."

"I … I've never heard of such a thing," Justin said bewildered.

"Well, now you have."

"So what is it about?"

"It's about this gay executive who fucks his way to the top and doesn't mind stomping all over people along the way. Eventually somebody exacts payback."

"That sounds kind of scary," Justin said.

"That's the thriller part of it."

"And sexy," Justin said with a leer.

"That's the erotic part."

"Is it … graphic?"

"Very," Brian replied and thought maybe he should leave it at that.

"Can … can I read it?" Justin asked. He hoped he liked Brian's story. He liked everything else about this man.

"You may … but don't fucking tell your mother. She'll come after me for corrupting you."

"Is it that bad?"

"It doesn't pull any punches."

"Should help me get to sleep tonight?" Justin asked with a nervous giggle.

"On the couch," Brian stated flatly.

"Oh!"

"And don't forget it."

"So how did you become Phillip Remington?" Justin asked deciding to change the topic before Brian made him promise about their sleeping arrangements. He fully intended to be in Brian's bed again tonight.

Brian chuckled. "I knew I didn't want to use my own name so I was thinking about Remington Steele from the old TV series. Pierce Brosnan is one good looking man. I pictured him as the author I'd like to be wearing the ascot and the pipe."

Justin giggled out loud. "Ascot and pipe?" he repeated.

"Well, maybe not," Brian conceded with a wry grin. "But I was playing around with the name and I realized that Remington was a shaver and so was Phillips and that's how I came up with it."

"Clever," Justin agreed. "And very classy sounding."

"Thanks," Brian said with his tongue in his cheek.

"So how did you get it published? It can't be easy."

"Actually it was. I don't think the gay publishing house I took it too had ever read anything quite like it. They snapped it up immediately."

"And you've kept your part in it a secret ever since?"

"To everyone except my publisher … and that fucking trick."

"How did he find out?"

"As I said, he managed to convince me to let him stay all night. As I recall he was a decent enough fuck, and it was pouring rain that night. I guess he caught me at a weak moment. I think I was pretty well plastered. I drank a lot at Babylon and had a few bumps. I think I finished a bottle of Beam after I fucked him into the mattress."

Justin knew his eyes had gotten very large. He obviously didn't know much about Brian's lifestyle. That wasn't what he had expected at all.

Brian cleared his throat and continued. "When I woke up the next morning, I was alone in bed. I remember sighing with relief thinking that the trick had had enough sense to leave at some point. Mornings can be so … awkward."

"I bet," Justin said sarcastically. He thought about waking up that morning in Brian's arms, and how safe he had felt. How could his Brian be saying these things, treating men like nameless pieces of meat that he used for his own gratification?

"I had quite the hangover and finally managed to get vertical and go piss. When I came out of the bathroom I saw him sitting on the sofa with my book and a bunch of papers. I had just received a letter and check from my publisher, and he had put two and two together. I asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing, and he proceeded to read me a steamy section from my novel. It seems he had read the book already and even had favorite parts. He was a fucking fan of Phillip Remington."

"What did you do?" Justin asked.

"I told him to get the fuck out."

"But he wouldn't go?"

"No, he said he loved the book and he loved me. He had known I was smart when he let me pick him up. I don't know how he could know any such thing. I was stoned out of my mind."

"And I got arrested for a bag of pot," Justin griped shaking his head.

"Remind me to ask you about that," Brian said.

Justin stuck his tongue out at Brian knowing the man couldn't see him. "Sure," Justin said sarcastically.

"Are you giving me the finger?" Brian asked.

"No, but that's a good idea," Justin agreed giving Brian the middle finger salute.

"Do you want to hear the rest of this?" Brian asked not liking the way this was turning out.

"Yeah."

"He … he refused to leave until I promised that he could come back again."

"But you didn't let him, did you?"

"I didn't really promise. I just sort of let him think that I agreed. I had to get him out the door somehow."

"So what happened?"

"The next night he called. He must have got the number off the phone on the desk before I got up. I hung up on him. He called eight times before I unplugged the phone."

"Jesus."

"Yeah, tell me about it. The next night he rapped on the loft door. I don't know how he got up here but he did. I slammed the door in his face and told him to get lost. He pounded on the door until I threatened to call the cops. Finally he left. The next day these fucking notes started coming."

"Have they always been threatening in tone?" Justin asked.

"At first they were pretty mushy … about how good we were together and how he missed me. He kept saying we were meant for each other. I kept ripping up the letters and throwing them in the garbage."

"You should have kept them."

"Maybe," Brian agreed. "At that point I thought he'd get tired of being pushed away and just give up."

"But he hasn't."

"No, but I keep hoping he will."

"The letters I've read have felt threatening," Justin told him.

"I know. They changed after you arrived."

"They did?"

"I told you that he seemed jealous, maybe because you're staying here with me and he feels it should be him."

"That's sick."

"I wouldn't say we're dealing with the most stable of people here."

"That's for sure," Justin agreed. "You should report him to the police."

"How can I do that when I don't even know his fucking name?" Brian admitted.

"You don't know his name? Didn't he tell you?"

"Probably. But I don't remember the names of tricks. It's one of my rules."

"That's a rule?"

"That's what I said."

Justin shook his head. This wasn't what he had been banking on. Brian was someone he didn't know at all. He had only made the man's acquaintance a little over a week ago. So many of his assumptions had been wrong.

"I guess you find this whole mess disgusting. I suppose you find me disgusting too?" Brian said softly. He knew from Justin's silence that his revelations had upset the boy. He could just imagine what Justin's mother would think if she knew even half of it.

"I think I better get started on my homework," Justin said getting up and moving to the dining room table. He needed to distance himself from Brian. He had a lot of thinking to do.