Blinded

Chapter 8

The next day dragged by. Brian had one last altercation with Nurse Skank. She came in early in the morning and even though Brian pretended to be asleep, she shook him to tell him goodbye. She hugged him so hard he could barely breathe clasping his head to her more than ample bosom. Brian was sure he was going to suffocate. She told him she would miss him so much and Brian thought she shed a tear or two. He couldn't see them, but from the hitch in her voice he guessed that was what was happening. When she finally left, Brian breathed a sigh of relief. He would be gone before she came on duty again. And he had managed not to promise to keep in touch in spite of her pleading.

Martin came in and they went through some scenarios of things he might run into when he went home. Brian respected Martin's teachings and advice. He hoped he would be able to manage as well as Martin kept telling him he would.

He ate his lunch thinking that it would be the last institutional food he would be required to eat for a long, long time. He wondered if Justin could cook or heat soup or boil water. Probably not, since he was a fucking teenager. They could always order in. Brian had most of the menus memorized and the takeout places were programmed into his phone.

Dr. Hagen came in just after lunch and gave him the once over. Brian listened to his admonitions, but still felt compelled to ask one last time if he could expect his sight to come back any time soon. It would soon be two weeks since he had been mugged. Surely the pressure on the optic nerve must be subsiding. Dr, Hagen, of course, would give him no reassurances. Brian felt pretty down after the doctor left.

He had nothing to do but wait until Justin came after school to take him home. He stuffed most of his meager belongings into the suitcase that Justin had brought his clothes in a few days earlier. That kid was pretty smart. He seemed to be able to think ahead and make the right decisions. Brian knew he had done the right thing in trusting the boy, in spite of what everyone else would think. He smiled to himself. Thoughts of Justin always made him smile.

Brian gathered his toiletries and added them to the suitcase. He decided he might as well add his computer which he had been totally unable to use. He slid it in between some of the clothes. He finally sat down in the chair by the window. He wondered what the weather was like. It was fall and had been chilly the night he was mugged. Some days could be quite cold this time of year, while others would seem more like late summer. He still had his leather jacket he had worn that evening. That should be enough if it was cold on the way home.

Home, the thought made him yearn for the loft which had never really been that much of a home in the past. The elegant and spare furnishings that he had opted for kept the place sterile and impersonal. And that was how he had always liked it. It showed style but revealed little about him. Tricks barely got to look around and he rarely had friends over, except for Michael. But that was how his life was and would continue to be once he got his sight back.

It must be his lack of sight that was making him nostalgic for the loft. It certainly would be better than the fucking hospital. The fact that it would be minus Nurse Skank was an added bonus. And the fact that Justin would be there with him made it seem cozier somehow.

Brian knew he was thinking too much. He didn't know how to stop himself though. He was going home. Finally.

After a few minutes Brian went to the nightstand and found his little recorder. He thought he might add a bit more to what he had written over the last couple of days. He tried to remember where he had left off, but decided he might as well rewind and listen to it over again. He pushed the rewind button and heard a brief whir, then nothing. He frowned. He was sure he had quite a few paragraphs taped and had left the machine wound to where he had stopped it.

He pushed play to see what was on the tape. "Brian, I've really enjoyed getting to know you," Justin's soft voice spoke from the tape. Brian frowned. This was the lost tape … but he hadn't found it. He pushed the stop button and rewound the tape. This was very weird. What the fuck was going on?

Brian started the tape again. He heard Justin say, "Brian, I've really enjoyed getting to know you." Brian waited. He knew the next line by heart, about asking his parents if he could go home with Brian. There were a few seconds of blank time on the tape. As Brian was about to shut it off another voice said, "Brian, I'd like to get to know you better. Why do you keep refusing me? That twink is not the one for you. I've easily erased him from the tape. It's time you erased him from your life. I'll be in touch soon."

Okay, this was definitely bizarre. The voice sounded vaguely familiar. He was pretty sure it was the trick that had been sending the notes to the loft. But how had he gotten hold of the tape? He must have taken it from his room during the night or when he was outside with Martin. He would have to have recorded the new message and then have been in his room again to place it in the recorder. This was getting a little … sinister.

Brian stared at the recorder in his hand, not that he could see it. He wondered what he should do about this guy. He didn't think the former trick would do anything violent or too outrageous, but he didn't like this invasion of his privacy at all. This was going too far. He wondered if he should call the cops. They would probably laugh themselves silly if he did. What would they charge the guy with - kidnapping and molesting an audio tape?

"Brian?" Justin said from the doorway. "Are you ready to go home?

"One hundred percent," Brian replied deciding that the trick would have much less access to him and his recorder once he was in the loft. He could leave all this shit behind just by walking out of there with Justin. "Let's get this fucking show on the road."

"Yes, sir," Justin said with a smile. "Have you packed everything?"

"Just about, but there's still some stuff in the nightstand. Will you check it? I think my radio's still there, and get the tapes that are in the drawer too." Brian waited. "How many tapes did you find?"

"Two," Justin replied.

Brian took a deep breath. And now there were three. Someone was definitely screwing with him and his tapes, but how had they done it. He was a light sleeper. He knew if someone was watching him. He frowned and shook his head.

"Is something wrong?" Justin asked.

"No, it's nothing," Brian said not wanting to worry the boy. "Is everything out of the drawer?"

"Yep, I'll do a quick check of the closet and the bathroom and we're out of here."

"About time," Brian breathed sticking the little recorder in his jeans pocket.

Justin zipped the suitcase shut and set it on the floor. "Do you want to take my arm?" Justin asked when he was ready to go.

"Is it cold outside?" Brian asked.

"A little nippy now that the sun is starting to go down."

"I'll wear my jacket then."

Justin helped him on with the jacket and then took Brian by the arm.

"Um…" Brian began.

"What's wrong? Don't you want my arm?" Justin asked puzzled.

"Unless you want to see me walk into walls I need you to guide me. But I need to hold onto your arm, not the other way around."

"Oh," Justin said feeling sheepish. "We never did this before."

He felt Brian slide his hand around his elbow. He took the suitcase handle in his other hand and they started out the door.

As they passed the main desk Janet said," Goodbye, Mr. Kinney."

Brian nodded and said nothing. He felt no need to thank her. She had done next to nothing for him, and if he never saw her again it would be just fine. At least Nurse Skank wasn't there to see him off. He never wanted to see her either, even if he got his vision back.

They made their way to the elevator and then out of the building. Brian took a deep lungful of crisp autumn air and felt somehow like he had been released from prison. Justin walked them slowly to the parking lot and stopped beside the Jeep. When Justin seemed to hesitate Brian decided to try to lighten the mood.

"I can stand here by myself while you load the suitcase," Brian said with a smirk.

"Oh, of course you can," Justin said and quickly stuck the case in the back seat. "Do you want me to help you in?"

"I'm not crippled. If you open the door and point me in the right direction, I can get in. That is, unless you want me to drive," Brian chuckled.

"Um…" Justin looked at Brian and saw the smirk. "You better be careful. If you make fun of me, I might just leave you here in the parking lot and drive away." Justin had meant that to be funny, to pay back Brian for teasing him. But the look on Brian's face made him wish he had kept his mouth shut. Brian looked angry and upset and … scared. "I'm sorry," Justin said hastily. "I was just kidding." He quickly opened the door of the Jeep and watched as a grim faced Brian climbed in. Justin got into the driver's seat. He glanced over at Brian and knew he had to make this right. "Brian, I really am sorry. I didn't think about how that would sound. I'd never leave you … anywhere."

Brian turned towards Justin like he could read his sincerity by doing that. "I know. I'm being overly sensitive. It … it just made me think what would happen if you did go off and leave me. I'm so fucking helpless."

Justin watched the emotion on Brian's face as the man made that admission. It almost broke Justin's heart to hear the hurt and fear that came through in his words. He leaned towards Brian and before either of them knew what they were doing their lips came together in a soft reassuring kiss. Brian could feel the tenderness and caring coming from the boy. He knew Justin would never leave him to fend for himself.

As the kiss ended Justin sat back knowing that he had got hard from the kiss. He wondered if Brian knew. That had not been his intention when he kissed Brian. He just wanted to comfort him and tell him that he would be there for him when he was needed.

Brian sank back against his seat wondering what the fuck had just happened. He willed his cock to behave itself and he tried to collect his thoughts and his emotions. That was a very chaste kiss, but one that should never have happened. "Why … why did you do that?" Brian asked.

"I wanted to," Justin said honestly, "and you didn't seem about to do it."

"Justin, we can't go down that road. I'm fucking blind and I promised your mother you would be safe."

"I am safe … when I'm with you. I … I felt like you needed to know that and I wanted you to know that you will always be safe with me too."

"Let's go home," Brian said not sure that he could discuss this further.

Justin started the Jeep and they made their way out of the parking lot. The drive did not take long but it was accomplished in silence. Brian didn't know what to say after what had happened between them. Justin wished he had never kissed the man, yet some part of him was so glad that he had. Brian was everything he could ever want in a man, in a first fuck, in a first love. He didn't know how he knew it, but he couldn't be more sure of anything.

When they arrived at the loft building Justin pulled into the parking space behind the building. He almost felt like he knew his way around, like he had been there forever. He grabbed the suitcase and his own duffel bag which held the things he needed for the weekend. He stood patiently until Brian took his arm. He wasn't going to make another stupid comment or another false move. He wanted to impress Brian with how he could handle himself.

Justin pushed the button for the elevator and Brian asked him to show him where it was. Brian's finger connected with Justin's help and he gauged that his hand was slightly above his waist and the button was about two inches from the frame surrounding the opening. He wondered if he would be able to find it on his own. He would have Justin walk him through the lobby and help him get reacquainted with the building he had always taken so for granted.

Brian asked Justin to pick up the mail from the box and then they climbed on the elevator and took the slow ride to the top. As they stepped off the elevator Brian heard Justin make a slight noise of concern.

"What is it?" Brian asked. "Someone didn't break in, did they?"

"No, but there's another one of those envelopes standing against the door.

"Shit!" Brian reacted. This was getting old. "Bring it in," he ordered.

Justin unlocked the door and picked up the envelope before helping Brian inside. "Where do you want to be?"

"On the sofa, and lock the fucking door behind us."

Justin left Brian's suitcase and his duffel bag just inside the door. He escorted Brian to the sofa and then returned to close and lock the door. He glanced around the loft but nothing seemed to have been disturbed. "Do you want me to open this envelope?" he asked Brian wondering what message it would contain this time.

"Might as well get it over with," Brian said stiffly.

Justin ripped the envelope open and pulled out the sheet of paper. Justin read: "Welcome home, Brian. If he's with you, you will regret that decision. I'll see you soon, even if you can't see me."

"What does he mean 'if he's with you'? Is he talking about me?" Justin asked frowning and staring at the note.

"I think he's jealous of you."

"Jealous? How the fuck does he know anything about me?"

"Listen to this," Brian said pulling out the recorder from his jeans pocket and pressing play. The short message began with Justin's words followed by the erasing of Justin from Brian's life.

"You need to call the police," Justin said as a shiver of fear slid up his back.

"I thought about that, but what has he really done except leave messages for me. And the fucking police aren't about to help a fag with his love life."

"Love?" Justin questioned. "That doesn't sound like love. It sounds … threatening."

"Yeah."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Nothing. I don't want to deal with the police right now. I just want to get my sight back."

"But…" Justin began and then decided to shut up. This was Brian's problem. He would have to decide what to do about it. "Should I put something on for dinner or do you want to order in?"

"Give me the phone and I'll place the order," Brian said. He had been thinking about his favorite Thai takeout all day and he thought he could order it himself. "Take that stuff out of the suitcase and open a bottle of wine."

"Sure," Justin said watching Brian feel the face of the phone. He chose the buttons he wanted and quickly asked for his usual and an order of Pad Thai and some extra noodles. "You have takeout on speed dial?" Justin asked when Brian hung up.

"Doesn't everybody?" Brian asked with a smirk.

Justin shook his head and went to put away Brian's belongings trying to remember where he had retrieved them from a few days before. He opened some wine and they drank a glass while they waited for dinner to arrive. They chatted a bit about Justin's school and what he was studying. It seemed harder to find things to talk about than it had in the hospital. Finally the buzzer sounded and they both knew dinner had arrived.

The deliveryman came to the loft door and Justin took the food and paid for it. "Where Mr. Kinney?" the Asian man asked.

"Over there," Justin replied. "Why?"

"Man downstairs give me this. Say I should give it directly to Mr. Kinney," the man explained.

"Bring it over here, Tuk," Brian said. The man approached. "Leave it on the sofa and … thank you. Justin, give him an extra ten."

Justin did as he was told and locked the door behind the man. "It's another fucking envelope like the one that was against the door," Justin explained.

Brian sighed. "Open it."

Justin ripped the envelope apart and pulled out another sheet of paper. He read: "I am extremely disappointed in you, Brian. You haven't been listening to me. I thought I had made myself clear, but you haven't responded appropriately. I will have to take further steps."

"Is that it?" Brian asked.

"That's all it says. Brian, I think you need to call the police, right now. This is getting serious." Justin didn't like the sound of this at all.

"Fuck that."

"Brian…" Justin pleaded.

"Let's eat. I'm hungry," Brian said ignoring Justin's admonitions. He had suddenly lost his appetite but he didn't want Justin to know that. He needed to think before he did anything.