Part 3

Justin called his mother the next day, and within an hour, she was at the loft cooing over her poor baby. Brian left to run errands fifteen minutes into her visit. When he returned with groceries and refills of Justin's prescriptions, Debbie had taken Jennifer's place. Through the day, one by one, each of their friends stopped by. Brian wondered if Debbie had warned them not to come all at once.

Once everyone had been and gone, Brian heated up the dinner Debbie had sent along with Michael and Ben and sat beside Justin on the sofa. He handed Justin one of the two plates and began eating in silence.

"They all seemed to be happy to have me home," Justin said after a while.

"They are."

Justin sighed. "This all feels so strange. I feel like I don't fit anymore."

"You've changed," Brian shrugged. "And so have they. It will take time to regain what was left behind."

Justin nodded and ate in silence for a few minutes. "Does that include us, too?"

Brian looked at Justin and set his plate on the coffee table. "Justin...You know I'm not good at all this relationship shit."

"I know," Justin said, looking guilty. "But I don't know how to read you the way I used to do."

"Okay," Brian said slowly. "So we talk about it. Just this once."

"Okay."

"When you left, I was supposed to go back to my life the way it was before," Brian said. "That was our agreement. Brian Kinney rises from the ashes. And I did what I needed to do. I put Babylon back together. I continued to build Kinnetik. I picked up tricks and pretended that nothing had changed.

"But everything had changed," Brian sighed. "I won't go spouting some romantic shit about it being all about you, but you were a big part of it. Along with the cancer, and the bombing, and a million other things that we have been through since I met you. It all changed me in some way, and going back to being the man I was before was impossible."

Justin nodded. He understood. He wasn't the only one who had needed to grow up.

"I would go to Babylon and dance and drink and fuck some twink," Brian said. "And then I'd come home to an empty apartment. Then I would go to work tired and irritable the next day and it would all start over again. For months, I tried to be the Brian from seven years ago. In the end, I was just too damned tired of it all to care anymore. So I stopped.

"Now, I only go to Babylon once or twice a week to make sure things are running smoothly and to fuck," Brian said. "I stay for an hour or so, and then I go home."

"Oh," Justin said, a little frown marring his forehead. "What's that got to do with us?"

"I'm getting to that," Brian said and smacked Justin's thigh for his impatience. "With all of that sudden free time on my hands, I had a lot of time to think. And the thing I thought about more than anything was you. I thought about what you were doing in New York. I thought about how I should have made you stay with me instead of sending you away over and over again. I thought about all the shit we put each other through and how we still ended up...together every time. Until I let Lindsey convince me it was in your best interests to go to New York. For a while, I really hated her. She took Gus away and made me give you up all in the same month."

"It was still our decision," Justin reminded him. "Lindsey didn't force either of us to choose what we did."

"And that's the only reason I forgave her," Brian sighed. "Through all of that thinking, I realized something. You and I, no matter how fucked up things get, always end up back together. So part of me held onto that knowledge and waited."

"I didn't know," Justin said, his voice conveying his thoughts. What if they had told each other the truth?

"Of course you didn't," Brian chuckled. "Just like I didn't know how bad things had gotten for you. But Justin, you don't have to question where our relationship stands. It stands where it has always stood. Circumstances change, but this doesn't. We don't."

Justin nodded and kissed Brian softly before resting his head against his shoulder. "I could never stop loving you. I never even wanted to try."

"Good."

BJBJBJBJBJ

Brian worked from home the rest of the week and took Justin to the doctor for his follow up visits. Justin relaxed and let his body continue to heal, and spent hours drawing and sketching Brian. When Justin's things arrived on Friday, Brian told him not to unpack them. When questioned, Brian had sighed and told Justin he would explain tomorrow.

So, bright and early Saturday morning, Brian hustled Justin into the car and headed for the highway. They had been on the road for about twenty minutes before Brian took an exit ramp.

"Brian, where are we going," Justin asked warily.

"I know you've only been there a couple of times, but I thought you would remember enough to figure that out," Brian teased.

"Britin? You kept Britin?" Justin asked.

Brian nodded. "I didn't want to live there without you, but...I couldn't let it go either."

"So it's just been sitting empty for two years?" Justin gasped.

"It's been waiting for us to come to our senses. I have a cleaning service come in once a week, and landscapers keep the property up," Brian shrugged.

Justin shook his head in disbelief. "So we really are back to where we left off two years ago."

"Older and wiser, hopefully," Brian smirked. "And I'm not asking you to marry me again."

Justin smiled. "Okay, I guess I'll have to ask next time. But I'll give you a few years to get ready."

"You do that Sunshine," Brian said as he pulled up to the gate and waited for it to swing open.

Once they had pulled up to the house, Justin was eager to get out and explore the house, see if it was just like he remembered. It was.

"You left the chairs here," Justin said as he looked into the big empty living room.

Brian nodded, but didn't say anything. He didn't tell Justin about the times he would come to the house and sit there remembering the few happy moments they had shared there, the dreams they had shared. There were just some things that Justin didn't need to know.

They toured the house and Justin familiarized himself again with each room, half-forgotten dreams resurfacing with each new space. An hour later, as they were returning to the foyer, Justin was startled by the sound of the door chimes.

"Are we expecting someone?"

"Yes," Brian said and went to the door to greet their visitor. A minute later, Brian returned with a woman dressed in a designer pant suit following. "Justin, I would like you to meet Jan. She's going to help us decorate this monstrosity."

Justin's eyes widened. Brian was serious about moving out here, then. "Hello, Jan."

"It's nice to finally meet you, Justin," Jan said. "Brian has been telling me a bit about what you two want done to the house all week, but there were some things he said only you could answer."

Justin nodded. "Um, I guess we should show you around?"

Jan laughed. "It's a good place to start. We'll talk about what you'd like to see in each room, and go from there."

The three of them spent the next two hours going from room to room, talking about function, style and personal taste. When Jan finally left with a notebook full of ideas and measurements, Justin sighed and collapsed into one of the leather chairs.

"You're serious about moving out here?" Justin asked.

"Obviously."

Justin nodded. "What about the loft?"

Brian shrugged. "It's paid for, and it isn't like we can't afford to keep both places. We may want a place in town for nights we feel like going out."

"You have it all worked out," Justin laughed. "Why am I not surprised?"

Brian leaned over the back of Justin's chair and kissed the top of his head. "Because I am the great and all powerful Brian Kinney."

"You certainly are that," Justin said wryly. "You realize that if we are going to live this far out of town that I'll need a car?"

"I do," Brian said. "Where do you think we're going tomorrow?"

Justin laughed again and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. "Alright. You had better feed me well tonight if we are going to spend an exhausting day car shopping tomorrow."

BJBJBJBJBJ

Justin drove to the diner on Wednesday morning in his new black Acura MDX. Justin was absolutely in love with this vehicle. It had every luxury available, including ivory leather seats that warmed or cooled at the push of a button and a remote starter.

"Nice wheels honey," Emmett cooed from the booth by the front window. "New toy?"

"Yeah," Justin laughed happily. "We decided to move out to Britin, so I needed some way to get around."

"Oh?" Emmett said. "I hadn't heard all that."

"Well, you know Brian, he keeps all information need-to-know," Justin smiled.

"He does that," Emmett chuckled. "So you two are really making a go of it this time?"

"We are," Justin nodded. They were interrupted by a waitress Justin didn't recognize and he put in his order before turning back to Emmett. "Em, why did nobody think we could make it last time? It seemed like everyone was against us being together."

Emmett sighed, "You and Brian...well, you two can be closer than any two people I know when things are going well. And when they don't you two can hurt each other more than any two people I know. I think everyone just wanted you both to be happy."

"But we weren't happy," Justin said quietly. "Neither of us. And I'll be honest with you; I'd rather be fighting and miserable with Brian than pretend to be happy with anyone else. And the good times...they make all the hard times worth it, you know?"

"I do know," Emmett smiled. "Well, I'm happy for both of you. And despite what most people around here wanted to believe, I knew that Brian wasn't happy without you. What about you, though? How was life in the Big Apple?"

"Fucking miserable," Justin sighed. "I didn't have time or space to paint. I had to work three jobs just to survive. And I missed home. And Brian."

"I thought you were living with some man?" Emmett asked. "Brian ranted on more than one occasion about the fact that he was so much older than you."

Justin gave a tiny shiver and hoped Emmett hadn't noticed. The waitress dropped off Justin's breakfast and he smiled at her in thanks. When she was gone again, Justin turned back to Emmett. "Things didn't work out."

"Oh come on," Emmett pried, "there must be more to the story than that."

Justin shook his head. "We didn't get on and it ended. End of story."

Something about the way Justin's body tensed and his face paled made Emmett drop the subject. "If you say so."

Justin nodded and turned his attention to his breakfast, which he ate in silence, nodding on occasion at something Emmett was prattling on about. When he was finished, Justin paid for his breakfast and turned back to Emmett, who was getting ready to go as well.

"I'm sorry for being such a shit, Em," Justin sighed. "I just don't like talking about Tom."

"It's okay, hon," Emmett said. "We all have things like that in our past, things we don't like to revisit. Are you headed back to the loft?"

"No, I have to head out to Britin to meet the decorator," Justin said.

"Well la dee da!" Emmett laughed. "Look at you!"

"I'll call you soon?" Justin asked. "We can do breakfast again."

"Sure," Emmett smiled. "And maybe you can talk Brian into staying at Babylon for more than an hour. They're having Glowworm night on Friday. All those hot horny guys with their dicks covered in edible glow paint. Yummy."

Justin laughed. "We'll see. Brian's working hard to make up for the time he had to miss."

"Well, don't let him push you into doing all the work on that house," Emmett warned. "If he doesn't get his input, he's likely to complain about it for years."

"I'll make sure he sees and approves everything before we buy it," Justin laughed again. He was happy that things seemed to be getting back to normal with at least one of his friends.