JUSTIN 

I picked up my phone and dialed Lindsay because I can't believe this email. Since coming back from Pittsburgh, Michael has been emailing each of us after his sessions with his views on what we could do to help him. For the last two months he mostly sent them to Brian, who just deleted them as they came in. I guess when Brian wouldn’t respond it was my turn.

“So, Michael thinks that I need to start therapy, because I'm ruining Rage by not wanting to talk to him about the panels.” I tell her. 

“I'm sure there's a comic therapist out there you could see.” She tells me, laughing.

“He wanted me to draw Zephyr being left to freeze in a jungle. It was so ridiculous that I couldn’t draw it. I'm starting to question why I even do this anymore.” I tell her. 

“Are you even making enough to make it worth putting your time into it?” She asks me. 

“It makes enough to help with small things. It's not like I need the money. It's just hard to let go of something I created.” I tell her. 

“Then buy him out, it's not like it isn't really your and Brian’s story.” She tells me. 

“He'll never agree to it.” I tell her. 

“Is it Rage or just doing a comic you like?” She asks me. 

“I like the different medium I use.” I tell her. 

“Have you ever thought of doing one that's your creation?” She asks me. 

“It would be nice to not have it be about Brian and I. Michael tends to almost make us too perfect, then puts us in situations that mirror our relationship. To me, a character having flaws would be more interesting.” I tell her, getting excited like I was when I started Rage.

“You would have more control over the plot.” She tells me. 

“It's something to think about, but what about Rage? Michael still needs someone to draw it.” I tell her. 

“There are people at PIFA he could hire.” She tells me. 

“Maybe it’s time for me to tell Michael to look into it. I just know somehow it’s going to cause him to act like it’s another slight against him.” I tell her.

“He causes his own problems. Like I told Mel, he has to see what he’s doing. We’ve always made it too easy for him to bother us.” She tells me.

“Tell Mama that Brian and I are coming for the ultrasound.” I tell her.

“You’ve only sent her a few emails reminding her, Michael.” She tells me, laughing.

“I’m not that bad.” I tell her.

“At least you aren’t following her everywhere she goes. I’ll let her know. Can you hold on a minute?” She asks me.

I put my phone on speaker and start sketching. I stop when I hear her trying to calm Gus down.

“I hate her and I want to go live with Dad and Justin.” I hear Gus shouting.

“Honey, who do you hate?” Lindsay asks him.

“Megan, she told me that she wanted to break up. I don’t want to stay here.” He tells her.

“Justin, I’ll call you back.” Lindsay tells me.

“No, I want Dad and Justin to come and get me.” He yells into the phone.

“Gus, let me call your dad. Then we’ll call you back.” I tell him.

I hang up and call Brian to tell him that Gus needs him. I miss Cynthia, when I called her, she always put me through without a problem. This new girl is all about taking messages and hanging up. She hasn’t figured out that Brian doesn’t mean it when he says no calls.

I called and as usual, Alishia tells me he’s busy and she can take a message. I hang up and text his cell. It was almost an hour later when he called me back. 

“Hey sorry, I left my phone on my desk and didn’t get your text until a minute ago.” He tells me.

“Gus needs you.” I tell him, hanging up. 

I really have tried to be understanding about the hours he’s been putting in and instead of bitching at him, I just learned to hang up. When he comes home, he’s exhausted and while he’s still attentive, it’s almost like he’s not here. My phone rings and I see it’s Brian calling, and I really need to remember he’s doing all this for us.

“Can I say sorry for being a dick?” I tell him.

“Justin, I know I’ve been working all the time and as soon as everything is done, I promise it won’t be like this anymore.” He tells me.

“Gus is upset and needs you. I would deal with it but I think he needs you too.” I tell him.

“I’ll call him now and I’ll be home in an hour.” He tells me sounding tired.

“Just call Gus, I’m fine.” I tell him.

He tells me an hour and it becomes three. I honestly didn’t notice until he came in looking at me warily. I had sent Michael an email telling him about possibly looking for a new artist, because we couldn’t agree on a story line. Which of course had Michael calling to find out why I was giving up on Rage. I made the big mistake of telling him about talking to Lindsay about how he could keep Rage going, and her suggestion of looking for an artist at PIFA. Which he took as Lindsay trying to take everything from him. He then said something about Ben telling him they need to start making decisions about separating for good. I had just hung up and was looking at the ceiling. 

“Justin, I really meant to get home.” He seem to waiting for me to say something.

“You’re home.” I tell him, confused.

“Two hours later than I told you.” He tell me.

“Really, shit sorry, I was going to order dinner, but Michael acts likes it’s the end of the world that I don’t want to do Rage.” I tell him getting up to see if we have anything in the house to eat.

“You should have quit when you left Pittsburgh.” He tells me.

“I know, but now he thinks that Lindsay is the reason I want to quit.” I tell him.

“I know, after I calmed Gus down, by explaining that Megan wasn’t the only girl in the world, I then had to remind him that until school was finished he had to stay. I mean, he’s only eight, so it’s likely he’ll meet someone else who will interest him. Which turned into ‘But Justin’s the only person you fell in love with, and you told me that he’s the only one you’ll ever love’. How did I become the reason Gus thinks you only love once?” He asks me.

“You told him that?” I ask.

“It’s the truth, you are the first and only one.” He tells me.

“Then how did you know about Michael?” I ask him.

“Lindsay called, telling me she was going to kill Michael. He called and told her that she didn’t need to encourage you to do anything because she’s the reason we moved away.” He tells me.

“Two months of therapy doesn’t seem to be helping him. Everything is still everyone else’s fault.” I tell Brian.

MICHAEL

I sat at the diner fuming that Lindsay convinced Justin to stop doing Rage. I called Alex and he told me that we could talk about it in our next session. I called Lindsay and bitched her out for once again getting Justin to do something that he most likely didn’t want to do. I look up to see Ted coming in with Blake, I waved to get their attention and they seem to be standing there like they didn’t see the rest of my booth was empty.

“Come sit with me.” I tell them.

Blake whispers something to Ted and then leaves the diner. I guess he needed to go somewhere. Ted comes over and sits across from me.

“You won’t believe what Lindsay is up to.” I tell him.

“Do we have to do this again? You get pissed and we have to listen to you bitch the whole time.” Ted asks me.

“What are you talking about?” I ask him.

“I’m talking about you.” He tells me.

“Lindsay talked Justin into giving up Rage.” I tell him. Can’t he see this is important?

“Michael, if Justin told you he wants to stop, he did it because it’s what he wants. Lindsay couldn’t tell him what to do.” He tells me.

“Well he didn’t seem to have a problem with working on it until he talked to her.” I tell him.

“Then you know it must be Lindsay and not you, because there isn’t any reason Justin wouldn’t want to draw your version of his relationship with Brian. Wait, I mean Rage and JT, because Michael it’s just fictional characters. Could it be that without Brian and Justin you couldn’t figure out a storyline?” He asks me.

“It’s about Zephyr and Ken too.” I tell him.

“Which reading the way Ken thinks Zephyr can do no wrong would show you it’s truly fictional. Why not try and see if you can come up with one where Zephyr loses Ken because Zephyr leaves Ken in quicksand while chasing Rage and JT.” He tells me.

“Ted, he left me, not the other way around.” I tell him.

“Is it really, because it seems like you haven’t really tried to fix anything with Ben.” He tells me.

“Alex told me that I had to see where I made mistakes before I could fix anything with Ben.” I tell him.

“Have you figured out anything yet?” He asks me.

“I haven’t talked to Ben, so he hasn’t told me.” I tell him.

“Michael you don’t have forever, Ben isn’t going to wait the way you did, for things that never happened.” He tells me.

“What can I do? I mean Alex told me that I shouldn’t attempt to work it out with Ben unless I understand what caused him to leave me.” I explain, since he doesn’t seem to understand I’m only doing what Alex told me to do.

I look out the window and see Blake talking to Hunter. I got up and walked to the door to go see my son. Hunter’s come by, but not often. When I get outside Ben is walking with some guy to Hunter. They stop and Ben hugs the guy a little too long for it to just be a friend. The guy looked at Ben the way I used to. I stood there and realized that Ben isn’t waiting for me. 

Running to my car I got in, ignoring Ted and Hunter when they called my name. I started driving and could only think of one place to go. He’s the only person I could think of that would know what to do. 

Three hours later I was sitting in front of his house and getting the courage to go to the door. I see him walking towards his house and get out of the car and wait for him to get closer. He started to walk by me without saying anything at all to me. 

“I need help.” I tell him.

“Why do you think I could help you?” He asks me.

“You're my dad.” I tell Daniel.

“Michael, Vic was your dad, I’m just someone your mother once dated.” He tells me.

“I’m losing everyone and I need you to be my father.” I tell him.

“I’m not father material, Michael. I never was, your mother knew it, and gave you what I wouldn’t have. Which I’m thankful for, but I can listen but as a friend.” He tells me.

He invites me in but it’s not like I had always thought my relationship with my father would be. He barely seems interested in listening to me. I drink the coffee he made me and then left to go home. Why couldn’t one thing be the way I wanted it to be? I sat in my car when I got home and watched the sunrise. 

“One of the reasons my relationship with Ben is strained is because I let him do all the work in the relationship.” I say out loud.

I said it, but I’m still walking into an empty house.