JUSTIN 

Brian asked the girls to get the kids settled and give us a minute alone. It was the first time I've been back here since I left for New York. Brian didn’t decorate here the way he did his loft. It was like he picked things that I always wanted. I stood in front of the fireplace and couldn't help but smile at the couches and big screen TV.

“I still see us living here one day.” He tells me.

“Then why buy a house in New York? I love our house there, but I don’t understand you purchasing it.” I tell him.

“If Kinnetik continues to grow we could be looking for a third house in Chicago. I like knowing that the place I’m staying belongs to me. It comes from constantly worrying where I would live when I left my parents home.” He tells me.

“I never thought much about it because I knew my mom would have let me stay with her.” I tell him.

“Which you never did.” He reminds me.

“I wanted to live my life the way I wanted it. If I went home then I was just admitting that I couldn’t take care of myself. To me, I was able to support myself, so why add that burden onto my mother?” I tell him.

“It wouldn’t have been failure to go home.” He tells me.

“No, but it wouldn’t have taught me to be responsible for my decisions either.” I tell him.

Lindsay was walking down the stairs and looking everywhere, Mel came down rubbing her stomach. We all needed to eat and get some sleep before we went back to the hospital. Brian must have heard the dual growls when Mel and I sat down on the couch together, because he started looking through his phone.

“I’ll order so that you and Mel don’t scare the kids with the roar you're making.” He tells us. 

“Until we knew Carl was out of surgery, I was too worried to eat anything.” Mel tells him.

“I just can’t believe it happened, he’s so close to retiring.” Lindsay tells us.

“Where the hell was Michael? You told us when we got here that he said he was coming, but he still wasn’t there when we all left.” Mel asks us.

“He said a few hours but it’s almost noon now.” I tell them, not sure what was taking Michael so long.

“Did he even tell you where he was?” Mel asks me.

“He seemed to avoid telling me.” I answer.

“You know, it’s funny that he thinks that us living outside of Pittsburgh means we wouldn’t be there for someone here, but it's not us who wasn't here.” Lindsay tells us. 

“It doesn’t matter, we came for Deb.” Brian tells her. 

“I know, but I wanted to say it out loud, before we go back. Deb needs us to get along until Carl’s better.” She tells him.

“The food’s on its way, after we eat I’m going back to sit with Deb.” Brian tells us. 

“Brian, you haven't slept all night.” I tell him. 

“Ted arranged for a car service, so I won't be driving.” He tells me, pulling me up in his arms.

“I can come too.” I tell him. 

“Later, you're half asleep and I've done this before.” He tells me, kissing my forehead.

I have to say, I'm impressed with Mel's appetite, she could put it away. I kept adding things to her plate when she wasn’t looking. Brian walked with me to the bedroom and we laid there without talking. I knew he needed to be with Deb right now, because even with the things she does, she's the only mother he had growing up. I was almost asleep when he started talking.

“I never thought we needed anything to show we were together.” He tells me. 

“We know and that's enough for me.” I tell him. 

“No, it isn't. I remember sitting outside your room and having to depend on a nurse to tell me anything. When they made decisions about you, I was told, but not asked what I thought. Even though I know your mother wouldn’t do that to me now, I’m still like Deb was in a situation like this.” He tells me. 

“Are you worried about Claire and your mom if something happens?” I ask him, because he might be saying this is about him but it’s always about me for him.

“I changed my POA years ago but I need to change it again. Michael is the last person I want you to have to fight with over me.” He tells me.

“We can do it together, it’s just something that I hadn’t thought about.” I tell him.

“We need to do more than that, because I need to know that if something happens, you have the power to make all our decisions. I want everything to go to you, but unless we make it legally binding, you would have to fight to keep what I wanted for you.” He tells me.

“Brian, we don’t have to make these decisions right now.” I tell him.

“Tonight brought that point home and I want to protect us from anyone who wouldn’t have our best interests at heart. I know that Gus will be taken care of because you would do that. I want the new baby and Jenny included in everything.” He tells me.

“If you feel we need to do this then we do.” I tell him.

BRIAN

I waited until Justin was asleep and called for the car to go to the hospital. Lindsay was sitting in the kitchen nursing her coffee. When she saw me she got up and grabbed her purse. 

“I’m going too, this way if Deb needs something I can run and get it while you stay with her.”  She tells me.

“Cynthia and Ted are meeting me there, so you can stay and get some sleep.” I tell her.

“I’m not going to sleep until I can tell our kids that Grandpa is awake.” She tells me.

I didn’t argue because I could see she was just as worried as the rest of us, and like me, she needed to be there for Deb and Carl. Mel was exhausted and it would make sense for her and Justin to be with the kids here instead of the hospital.

“I used to worry if something happened to Mel or I that we would be the one the hospital told they couldn’t talk to us. It’s strange to see that without marriage it’s the same for Deb.” She tells me as we get in the car.

“I can see the reason gay couples file domestic partnerships. I won’t leave Justin in a situation where he would be powerless.” I tell her.

“Is that why you need Cynthia there today?” She asks me.

“I want to make sure that I never have to sit outside Justin’s room while his asshole father could walk in and make decisions for a son he doesn’t even acknowledge.” I tell her.

“Are you going to do a wedding?” She asks me.

“I’m pulling a Deb with that one. I only want that if it’s legal, not just so I can join in the myth that a ceremony makes us what we’ve always been.” I tell her.

We got to the hospital and went to the waiting area. Cynthia was sitting on the sofa waiting for me.

“What did you need?” Cynthia asks me.

“I need to know how to file for Legal Domestic Partnership in New York and what I need to do here in order to make it so that Justin and I are protected no matter where we live.” I tell her.

“Got it, I’ll get it together for you and wait for you to call me when you want to do it.” She tells me.

“I want it as soon as you get it. Ted and Mel have all Justin’s information and you and Ted have mine. Get an appointment with a lawyer here and if we need one, in New York.” I tell her.

I get up and look for Ted, who I see standing down the hall. Lindsay and I go to see if Ted found out anything new. I get there and see Deb standing outside Carl’s room with Michael and Ben.

“Michael finally showed up, did he say why he wasn’t here last night or this morning?” I ask Ted.

“Nope, and doesn’t seem to want to tell anyone either.” Ted tells me.

MICHAEL

Ma was barely talking to me, she was going out of her way to tell me how everyone showed up last night but me.  

“I needed to talk to Brian, not that he was much help.” I tell her. 

“He has his life in order. He probably wonders why you can't get your head out of his ass. It still doesn't explain where you've been when you should have been here, since everyone else, including Brian, dropped everything and came as soon as they knew. I almost lost Carl and you're standing here making excuses for not getting here to be with me.” She tells me.

I stayed quiet because it wouldn't be good if she found out that instead of driving home I stayed to get a comic signed at the convention in New York. I know I should have just gotten in my car, but it's how I deal with things. Ben puts his arm around Ma and lets her cry on his shoulder. When I reached for her, she turned to me, but then stared at my wrist. Ben looked down and grabbed my hand and read the wristband, then let it go as if I was tainted. I tried to touch Ma but she yanked her arm away and turned and went in the room. I reached for the door but Ben blocked my way.

“She doesn’t need to hear your excuses, just go home.” Ben tells me. 

“She needs me right now.” I tell him. 

“She fucking needed you when they couldn’t tell us if Carl was going to live, but I guess the convention meant more to you. So it shouldn't be a surprise that you're not going to get a warm reception from your friends when they find out. It also shows me that I was stupid for thinking there was any hope for us.” He tells me before walking down the hall.

I turned to see Brian, Ted, and Lindsay standing behind me. 

“I…”

“No one gives a shit.” Brian tells me, walking into Carl's room.

I looked at Ted and saw the same look that Brian gave me. Lindsay turned and ran after Ben. I couldn’t stay and see everyone else look at me like I should have been the one in Carl’s place. I walked outside the hospital and sat on the bench. I must have sat there for hours before someone sat down next to me. I looked to see Brian sitting there, but he wouldn’t look at me but instead seem to stare out into the parking lot. 

“You can’t seem to not make bad decisions, can you?” He tells me.

“It was just so I could…” I stopped because he interrupted me.

“Stop before you say something that makes me get up and walk away for good. You want us all here if something happened and we all got here to make sure Deb wasn’t alone if something happened to Carl. Did you think that gave you a free pass be anywhere but here?” He asks me.

“No, but it’s the way I always…” He stops me again.

“You haven’t figured it out yet have you? You know the fear you have of being alone, it’s about to become your reality. You and I are going upstairs and you are going to face your friends and your mother, you don’t get to ignore the truth anymore. Maybe seeing that there is no apology that you can give for this will tell you something.” He tells me, pulling on my wristband. 

Brian gets up and stands there waiting for me to get up. I wanted to run to my car and hide. 

“I’m not asking you to do this, I’m telling you that if you don’t want me to cut you out of my life you do this.” He tells me.

I walk behind him.