JUSTIN 

I walked downstairs after sleeping for hours and smiled at Mel sitting with Gus and Jenny. She has a softness that I've never seen before. I ran quietly up to my room and got my sketch pad. I watched as she would stroke her stomach and I wanted this for our child to see. It's something I wish I could have done for Gus and Jenny. I was almost through when Mel came up and sat next to me.

“Is that how you see me?” She asks me.

“I draw what I see. That's how you looked.” I tell her. 

“It's beautiful, but then I always thought you could see us in a way we never saw ourselves. I remember that drawing of Brian, and how he looked so different then the asshole I saw. I guess that's why he bought it.” She tells me, staring at the drawing of her and the kids.

I smiled, even being shocked to hear it. I never knew he owned it, but I'm glad, because I drew it for him to see himself in a way he never did.

“We need to get to the hospital. Michael apparently went to a comic convention instead of coming home immediately.” She tells me. 

“It’s the first thing he’s done that doesn't shock me.” I tell her.    

“It pissed me off. He should have known better.” She tells me. 

“It's how he deals with things in his screwed up mind. I'm not saying he was right, but it's something Brian told me once.” I tell her. 

I help get Gus and Jenny dressed and we wait for the car to come get us. I have a feeling that the waiting room temperature is below freezing right now.

Ben was standing outside smoking, and since I've never seen him do that, I waited outside until Jenny was through talking to him. He handed me the cigarette and stayed calm with Jenny. I put it out because I needed to quit. Mel hugged him and Ben told us that Carl woke up and demanded to see Deb first. I waited for the kids and Mel to head inside to let Ben say what he was holding back.

“I’m okay, you don’t have to sit with me. I just couldn’t sit in a room with Michael right now.” He tells me.

“You don’t smoke, so I don’t think you're fine.” I tell him.

“He fucking went to a convention while we were here, scared we were going to lose Carl.” He tells me looking at the ground.

“Why are you acting like this isn’t something that Michael would do? When Brian pushed Michael away years ago, I found him in a comic shop angry at Brian. It’s something he does when he doesn’t know how to handle things.” I tell him.

“He needed to be here, and nothing else matters to me.” He tells me.

“End it Ben. Stop trying to find a way to prove that Michael will ever be more than he is.” I tell him.

“It’s funny that you’re giving me that advice.” He tells me.

“Brian could be an asshole but at least when it was time to be a grown up, he did it. He spent a lot of time doing the things for Michael that Michael couldn’t figure out how to do. Now Michael is facing things on his own because there’s only Jenny left.” I tell him.

“How did I end up with someone like him?” He asks.

“It’s one of the mysteries that none of us have been able to solve. Trust me, we spent time trying to figure out how on earth you and Michael were together.” I tell him.

“I don’t think you guys meant it as a compliment.” He tells me.

“It wasn’t an insult either. It’s just, your kind of really hot, and Michael is well, a bit of a geek. I’m sure people looked at Brian and I and tried to see why we were together. It’s just the way it works.” I tell him.

“You’re light to his darkness.” He tells me.

“He’d just tell you it was my ass, and I’d tell you it’s that the sex is spectacular.” I joke.

BRIAN

I went in to see Carl when Deb called me. She wouldn’t look at Michael and there wasn’t anything I could see that should make her want to. Carl was laying on the bed, barely awake and asked Deb to leave us alone. She kissed him, telling him that she would be just outside if he needed her.

“Brian, I know that Michael screwed up, but I don’t want Deb dealing with him and this at the same time.” He tells me.

“I don’t see any way to change that, he went to a comic convention instead of being here.” I tell him.

“I want you to tell him that I don’t want him here.” He tells me.

“If that’s what you want.” I tell him.

“I just think that it’s time for him to see how far he’s pushed everyone. I also want you to arrange for Deb and I to get married here, right away. If she wants to have a wedding we can do it later, but finding out that they had to call my daughter just so Deb could be there or be told anything was eye opening.” He tells me.

“I’ll get everyone to get it together.” I tell him.

“You know that she’s always been proud of you, don’t you? You stood on your own two feet and took care of everyone, whether they knew it or not. You might not have been her biological son but you are in her heart. She depended on you to help raise your brother.” He tells me.

“I always saw it as her needing me to keep Michael out of trouble.” I tell him.

“It’s what big brothers do, and your mother depended on you for that.” He tells me.

“I don’t know if I can help him anymore.” I tell him.

“It’s time to let Deb and I do that for you. You have a life with Justin to live, let Michael be our problem. Just know that we both love you and Justin like our own.” He tells me.

I walked over to him and put my hand in his, because he’s the father I wished for and realized I finally got.

“You turned out to be a good choice for a father to us.” I tell him.

“I decided that if I was going to marry the mother of the group I had to be able to step up and become the father to you boys and girls. Now help me marry your mother.” He tells me pulling me into a hug.

I walked out and decided that Ma needed to marry Pa. Getting to the waiting room, I pulled Michael out of the chair of shame and dragged him past Ben and Justin and out to his car. Pa wanted him gone, so out he went.

“Brian what are you doing?” Michael asks me.

“Carl wanted you gone because you're causing Deb to worry. So I’m telling you to leave and don’t come back unless you understand what you did was the stupidest thing you could have done. I want you to listen to me and really hear me. If the problem is always you and someone else, then maybe the problem is really you, because you’re the recurring theme every time something is a problem. Now I need to go help Carl marry your mother, which he didn’t seem to want you there for, think about that.” I tell him and walk back to Justin.

EMMETT

I was bouncing on my toes when Brian told me that we had two days to give Deb a wedding. He actually said that our father wanted us to help him marry Mom. Jen yanked me out of the hospital and told me that we were going to give Deb as much of a dream wedding as possible. Lindsay chased after us with Jenny in tow. Mel and Brian were getting any of the legal aspects done and Ted was to go pay for anything we needed. Justin, Blake, and Ben were getting the food and flowers. Drew used his celebrity to get the hospital to approve us bringing in flowers and decorating the chapel. I was under strict orders not to let Deb find out about this. It was hard but I managed to keep it under my hat.

The only thing that had me sad was that Michael wasn’t going to be there to see his mother on what was going to be the happiest day of her life.

MICHAEL

Alex sat there and didn’t say anything when I told him what happened. I was really worried, because normally he had an answer for everything. 

“I don’t deal with trauma well.” I tell him.

“You don’t deal with anything Michael, and if you don’t start seeing that then you're wasting my time and yours.” He tells me bluntly.

“Are you giving up on me too?” I ask him.

“No, but we can’t keep sitting in session with you trying to find way to blame others for your problems. If you can’t admit to yourself what YOU'RE doing, then it’s a waste of my time and yours to sit here.” He tells me.

“Why are you talking to me like this?” I ask him.

“You admitted that Brian was a large influence in your life, and I see that where I tried to ease you into seeing things, Brian would have been blunt. I see that I took the wrong approach in dealing with you. If I want to help you I have to tell you bluntly how I see what you tell me.” He tells me.

“How do you see things?” I ask him sarcastically. 

“I see that you learned young to let your friends tell you what to do and then blamed them when you didn’t like the results. I believe that in a way, you're using your child to try to make everyone do what you want. That if Carl wanted you away from your mother, it’s because he wasn’t going to have you the center of attention when it should be all about your mother, and not her son who can’t think about her. You need to stop thinking that one day Brian will give up Justin when Ben isn’t around for you anymore.” He tells me.

“I never expected Brian to leave Justin for me.” I mumble.

“Yes you do, but I think you think that it won’t matter because you don’t believe Brian and Justin will stay together.” He tells me.

“I did everything to keep them together, so you’re wrong.” I tell him.

“Let’s go over a few of those times, and I want you to see how an outsider would see what you did in those situations. First, when Justin was having trouble seeing why he stayed with Brian, instead of telling Justin that he needed to tell Brian how he felt, or telling Brian yourself how Justin felt, your answer was that Justin needed to accept that Brian wouldn’t change for him and he either accept it or leave. You didn’t phrase it that way, but it’s how Justin most likely heard it. In essence you gave Justin a reason to walk away. Second, when Brian had cancer you told Justin not to say anything, but then went straight to Brian and told him not only that you knew, but that Justin told you. That wasn’t a mistake on your part, but a way to show Justin that Brian kept you, but not him. Then when Brian went to kick you out, you went to Justin and got him to handle Brian for you. I think by then you knew Brian wasn’t going to let you be there, but Justin knew how to make Brian face things in a way you never could. Third, you helped Justin walk away from Brian and then helped him move into a new place. It’s an interesting thing to do to your best friend, making sure that the man he was in love with stayed away from him. Once again you let Brian know that he lost Justin because he wouldn’t change for Justin. In a way you probably felt it was a victory, until they wanted to get married. It took Ben telling you that Brian still loved you for you to finally go to Brian and forgive him for daring to chase Justin. It’s all there if you’ll really admit to what all this has been about. What we need to do is find a way for you to stop seeing Brian as a future partner, and maybe you’ll be able to repair your marriage with Ben.” He tells me.

“I love Ben.” I tell him.

“I know, but until you stop seeing Brian as your future, then Ben needs to be your past. There has never been a relationship that can survive a ghost in the bed.” He tells me.