MEL 

I seriously want to kill Brian for picking this house. How could he do this to me? I was fine with the four bedroom we were looking at, but not the six bedroom that sits next to his villa. I want to hate him for finding me a house I love. I look at Justin and Lindsay sitting like children on the stairs. They seem to be bracing themselves for my hormonal outrage at Brian’s controlling nature. I really would love to give them what they seem to be waiting for, but it's beautiful. The heated floors, the windows that look out to the fucking lawn Brian had designed to not clash with his house, and the beautiful oak desk and leather chair he added to showcase what could be my office. I stomp past them to the room where he left a card on the door for me, telling me that I was to enter only if I promised not to bring my pregnant ass to his house unless I learned to just accept that his children can’t live in a place he couldn’t. I opened the door and just wanted to figure a way to be mad at him for this too. The fucking nursery is decorated in pink, now I have something to say, until I look at the beautiful cribs and the mural on the wall of fairies and sprites, which seem to mean something to Justin and Brian, but they don’t seem to want to tell what it means.

“Mel, you know he’s like this.” Justin tells me.

“He just wanted us to have enough rooms for the kids.” Lindsay tells me.

I just couldn’t change years of training Brian on how to piss me off, but this is really making it hard for me. He gave us a home, separate but close, so our children can grow up with all of us. I look outside at the playground he built for Jenny and Gus and stare at Brian outside playing with the kids. How do you stay strong when you see him being human? He’s not the man who would drive us all up a wall, but I enjoyed our daily sparring sessions. I swear he made me a better lawyer because he’s a worthy opponent. Then I see him rubbing noses with Jenny and he just ruins it. God, I like Brian Kinney, how the hell did this happen to me?

I rub my daughters who seem to be kicking me to tell me, ‘Mama, Daddy B just wants us to be happy’. He just can’t seem to stop doing anything to make Justin happy and that includes buying a house for us. I guess Justin decided to leave because I see him walking to where Brian is, and it’s like Brian has radar that seems to pinpoint Justin without seeing him. Justin was trying to sneak up on Brian but the second he gets close Brian turns and catches Justin in his arms. Both of them smiling just to be close to each other. I love the way he loves, and that’s just more than my mind can fathom. 

“Mel, say something.” Lindsay comes up behind me and rubs her hands over mine.

“How are we going to fight when he does something this wonderful?” I ask her.

“You two always find something, but Mel, if you don’t want this we can say no.” Lindsay tells me.

“You love this house as much as I do. I want it, but I’m jealous of that.” I tell her.

“Why?” She asks me, looking at the Brian kiss Justin.

“Nothing separated them, not fights, distance, or time.” I tell her.

“They understand each other in a way that most of us are still learning. Mel, they had problems too. It’s just that for them, they never let anything get in their way. It’s something that we should have all seen as a lesson, loving someone means loving them even when you can’t be together.” She tells me.

“You know, you get to gush to him, because I just can’t do it.” I tell her.

“If you did, he’d probably be worried the pregnancy made you lose your mind.” She tells me.

“Welcome home.” I whisper to her.

BRIAN

I made the appointment to finish the paperwork for Legal Domestic Partnership and our POA’s. After that we went to lunch with the girls and Jen, but neither of us really mentioned it. We were all in Pittsburgh to have dinner with Deb and Carl, before they left for Italy together. Before that, I wanted to talk to Michael alone about the paperwork, because if this was going to be a problem for him, we needed to do this without ruining anyone’s night. I walked into the comic shop and Michael was sitting behind the counter reading a comic. He looked up and smiled when I came in, but didn’t move to hug me or kiss me. I hate feeling relieved that he didn’t, it’s just something that no longer fit in our friendship, what little there’s been of it.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” He asks me.

“I needed to tell you some things and thought I’d stop by and talk.” I tell him.

“I’m not going to cause trouble at Ma’s tonight.” He tells me.

“It’s not about that, it’s about the POA you have. I changed it to Justin.” I tell him.

“Oh, I guess I should have expected that.” He looks down at the comic.

“Yes, like I always expected you to do when you married Ben.” I tell him.

“Alex thinks that I didn’t change it because it was a way of me not letting go of a future with you. The truth is it was really just pure laziness on my part.” He tells me.

“Hearing that your mom had to wait for Carl’s daughter to give permission made me realize that Justin or I could be in the same situation. It’s why I also legalized our partnership.” I tell him.

A teenager comes in and Michael starts gathering his things together. “I have to get to my appointment.” He tells the kid.

“Need a lift?” I ask him.

“No, I… sorry but I’m having a hard time with what you just said.” He tells me, practically running out the door.

I let him go because there’s nothing I can do for him. Deb wanted me not to do anything that would trigger Michael’s codependence on me. I think telling him I’m as married to Justin as I can be should be a sign that we aren’t the ‘Brian and Mikey show” anymore.

MICHAEL

“Michael, you knew that Brian saw Justin as his partner, so what he did was a logical next step for them.” Alex tells me. 

“When he came in I thought it was because he wanted to hang out, but he was there to sever another tie to me.” I tell him.

“No, he wanted to make it so his partner wouldn’t be left out if something happens.” He tells me. 

“I wouldn’t have blocked Justin being there for Brian. Why make Justin have to make those kind of decisions? I hated when Ben got sick and they wanted me to do it.” I tell him. 

“How would you have felt if you had had to depend on Justin to make decisions for Ben's care and you had to wait for him to tell you anything?” He asks me.

“I know what you're trying to tell me. I just thought by now I'd gotten past Brian living a life without me. I felt like I couldn’t breathe when he told me they became legal partners. I was always making a big deal that they should want more, now I'm almost angry they did what I was telling them they needed to do.” I tell him. 

“Say what makes you angry without trying to filter it.” He tells me. 

“He never loved me the way he loves Justin. I can't understand why him and not me. I was there waiting for him to love me, but he was waiting for someone who isn't me. What made Justin the one to change Brian Fucking Kinney?” I practically scream the words.

“Only Brian could tell you that.” Alex tells me calmly.

“I'm afraid of the answer.” I tell him. 

“Why would that scare you?” He asks me. 

I couldn’t answer him, because it hurt to say that Brian was never interested in me at all.

“The truth doesn’t change because you don't want to hear it.” He tells me. 

I left Alex’s office knowing I needed Brian to tell me why he chose Justin, over everyone. I just needed to see his face when he told me what I lacked that Justin had. Getting to my apartment I laid down on the couch trying to figure out what was so important about knowing. 

“I need you to tell me why Justin.” I tell him. 

“Why?” He asks me. 

“I love him, for me that's the reason.” He tells me. 

“I'm not asking as if your feelings for me would be different but because I need to hear what was so wrong with me that you and Ben chose other people.” I tell him. 

“Ben chose you until it became unsatisfying to stay. You had everything you wanted but it wasn't enough for you.” He tells me. 

“I just need you to tell me what I could have done to have you.” I tell him. 

“Nothing.” He tells me. 

“How did Justin do it, please, I need to hear why you changed for him.” I beg.

“What difference will it make?” He asks me. 

“I'll finally know what I could have done!” I yell at him.

“He's telling you. Nothing.” Uncle Vic tells me.

I stare at Vic, confused at him being here.

“Dad get up.” I wake up to see Hunter standing in front of me.

I sit up and look around realizing I fell asleep. Hunter looked really worried. 

“Are you okay, I heard you screaming from the hallway.” He tells me. 

“I must have been dreaming.” I tell him. 

“Sounded like a nightmare. We need to get going if we want to make it dinner.” He tells me. 

On the walk to Ma’s house I thought about how desperate I was for an answer in my dream. The answer was he couldn’t love anyone the way he loves Justin, they’re part of each other. When we got to Ma’s house, Brian was outside smoking and I walked over to him.

“I'm glad you and Justin are happy.” I tell him. 

“Thanks, Mikey.” He tells me. 

It felt good to hear him use that name. I hadn't deserved it in a long time. 

“Boys get your asses in here and eat.” Ma yells. 

Jenny came running out to me and I catch my daughter. Justin was sitting at the table frosting a cake, or as Justin does, sneaking frosting while Ma does the actual frosting. The rest of the gang were talking and laughing together. Jenny jumped down and chased Gus around the kitchen. I realize my family never left me.      

When they announced the twins I stood up and toasted with everyone. It was time for me to find my own happiness.