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LINDSAY

 

“Mom, Grandma Deb wants to know if we have big pans.” Gus asks me from the nursery doorway.

 

“Tell her to check Justin’s kitchen.” I tell him, changing Jasmine.

 

“Do you need me to stay and help? I REALLY want to.” He begs.

 

Gus runs over to the crib, smiling down at Bella. I worried Gus would have a hard time with Brian sharing himself with the new babies but Brian made sure that Gus felt included in everything. I took it as a huge compliment when Brian told me that he, like Mel and I, never cared who the mother was, just that they were ours, to him it didn't matter where the kids came from, they were his children.

 

“So this is where you’re hiding.” Jen tells Gus as she comes in.

 

“Nana, as much as I love Grandma Deb, my cheek can only take so much pinching.” Gus tells her. 

 

“Daddy just pulled in with Drew and Blake, I'm sure they'll protect you.” She tells him. 

 

Gus ran out of the room excited. Justin will always be his favorite person. It's just when the babies were born he worried about his relationship with Justin. Mel and I were really surprised when Gus confided in Jen before the girls were born that he felt like Justin would love the girls more because he wasn't his real child. Instead of going to Brian and Justin, Jen came to us. 

 

“Gus is worried that with the new babies, Justin won't love him as much.” She told us.

 

“Justin wouldn’t do that.” Mel tells her.

 

“From experience you know that when the new child comes, the older one will get jealous.” She tells us. 

 

“He never had a problem with Jenny’s relationship with Justin.” I tell her. 

 

“Justin wasn’t becoming a father to Jenny.” Mel tells us. 

 

“This is the first time Gus feels the difference in Justin, from you, Mel, and Brian. In his head he can’t lose you because your Mom, Mama and Dad” She tells us. 

 

“And Justin is just Justin for him.” I started to see why Gus would worry.

 

“Maybe if we have Justin talk to him it would help him get over the idea that Justin would feel differently.” Mel tells us. 

 

Jen took the kids with her so we could talk to Justin and Brian. Justin asked if he was paying too much attention to the pregnancy and that was why Gus thought that.

 

“I think it's just that he's not sure of what he is to you.” Mel tells him. 

 

“He’s my son in every way that matters.” Justin tells us.

 

“Our son.” Brian tells him. 

 

“But how do I make OUR SON see that?” Justin asks him. 

 

“Justin, I think it's because, unlike the three of us, to him it's different because he calls you Justin.” I tell him. 

 

“So does Jenny, why does he think my feelings would change?” Justin asks, confused.

 

“He needs to know that you're as much his father as you are the babies’.” Brian tells him. 

 

“I am.” Justin tells him. 

 

“But in his head you don't have a name to signify that.” I tell him. 

 

“Then he can pick one and I'll answer to it.” Justin tells us.

 

“I think you and Gus need to do that together.” I tell him. 

 

When Gus came home we all sat him down so he could tell us what was bothering him. Justin wanted to do anything to help Gus see that to him, nothing mattered but that Gus knows he will always love him. Brian held Justin and I think he knows that it hurt Justin because of what Craig did to him. 

 

“Gus, we need to talk to you about what you told Nana about Justin, can you tell us why you're worried?” I ask him.

 

“I've never known what Justin was to me. I knew he was Dad’s boyfriend and my friend. It's just that he was always there for me when I needed him and I wanted him to be like all of you, but I didn’t know if it was okay for me to want him for more.” He tells us. 

 

“Gus, I know I told you that Justin and I signed papers to change what our relationship is considered, but I think you need to understand what that paperwork says.” Brian tells him. 

 

“It's papers saying Justin belongs to you.” Gus tells him. 

 

“Not those, but those were our way of being as married as we can be. It also makes Justin to me what your Mama is to Mom. I'm talking about the ones that concern you.” Brian tells him. 

 

“The ones you and my mom’s signed?” He asks Brian. 

 

“Justin signed them too. If something happens to all of us, you stay with Justin, because he’s just as much your father as I am.” Brian tells Gus, but looks at Justin who smiles through his tears.

 

“So it’s okay to call him Daddy?” Gus whispers to Brian.

 

“It’s what he’s always been, Sonnyboy. You need to know that he loves you as much as he’ll love the new babies.” Brian tells him.

 

“I think I knew that, but Jenny gets to call Ben Dad but no one ever thought that I would have liked to call Justin more than Justin.” He tells us.

 

“It wasn’t because we saw Justin as less than Ben, it was just that you always seemed to be okay with just calling him Justin.” I tell him.

 

“But he’s going to be a real Dad to the babies.” He tells us.

 

“Gus, I’ve always thought of you as my son, and the babies are just joining our family. To me being a father was loving my kids no matter where they came from or who they become.” Justin tells him.

 

“Because my Dad loves everyone that way.” Gus tells him.

 

“Yes and he showed me that it was the only way you really love someone. Gus, I met you the day you were born and loved you from the minute your father held you. You're as much mine as any child I ever have will be. If you need me to be Daddy than that’s what I’ll be.” Justin tells him.

 

“It’s what I always thought you were, it’s just no one ever said I could call you that.” He tells Justin.

 

“You might as well, since I’ve always thought of you as my son.” Justin tells him.

 

After that it was like Gus was making up for all the years he never got to call Justin, Daddy. None of us were allowed to call him Justin in reference to Gus. Jen learned that when she asked Gus where Justin was the next day and got “You mean Daddy” from Gus.

 

BRIAN

 

We got to the house an hour behind Justin and the gang because Michael wanted to stop where we did when the tire blew and take silly pictures of all of us trying to pretend to change a tire. I think he was just trying to live the day differently, because there was no us standing there while he kissed me or having a conversation that should never have happened. As much as reliving the days of the gang was fun, my life isn’t about the good old days, but about my family in this house.

 

Gus came running around the corner with a squirt gun, yelling at Daddy that it wasn’t fair that he wouldn’t stand still so Gus could get him. I saw Michael stiffen at hearing Daddy, but then he just seemed to let it go. Emmett smiled and ran to see if he could find a gun to help Gus with. Jenny came out and leapt at Michael, which seemed to be all he needed to go in and not say anything about Gus’s new name for Justin.

 

“Brian, it’s a process.” Blake tells me.

 

“What?” Ted asks him, not noticing Michael’s reaction.

 

“Michael might be getting better, but he’s always going to have a problem when something new pops up. Like Justin being called Daddy by Gus.” Blake tells Ted.

 

“At least give Michael credit for not causing a scene.” Drew tells us.

 

“He’s doing really well, but there are going to be times when he can’t control his reactions, but he’s controlling what he says.” Blake tells us.

 

“Have you been analyzing this a lot?” I ask him, because Blake has never been a Mikey fan.

 

“No, but I deal with people who need to get their life together. There are going to be times when they fall but it’s that they keep trying that makes it possible for them to recover. It’s a lot that he hasn’t tried to do things that he used to.” Blake tells us.

 

“Boys, if you want food you better beat Michael and Justin to the table.” Deb comes out, yelling at us.

 

“It’s one thing that Justin and Michael seem to have in common, they eat like starving children.” Ted jokes.

 

“Which means if you want anything but crumbs get your asses in here.” Deb jokes back.

 

MICHAEL

 

It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world hearing Gus call Justin Daddy, but not for the reason everyone most likely thinks. It just reminds me that Jenny has another father who isn’t here. Ben is planning on being here today, without Wes, because he wants us to explain to Jenny what’s going on. I almost told him that Jenny wouldn’t need to know that right now, but I think it will be better for her to know the truth, and not think everything is still how it was. 

 

After we ate I let the girls know that Ben would be here but then just didn’t feel like staying with everyone in the kitchen. I walked outside and sat on Brian’s back steps, looking at the playground in between the houses. Brian walked out and sat next to me, lighting up. 

 

“How are you really doing?” He asks me, looking at Gus and Jenny who started playing on the swingset.

 

“Good and bad, but better.” I tell him.

 

“Mel said Ben’s coming today.” He says it like a question.

 

“We need to talk to Jenny about the changes that are going to happen when Ben marries Wes.” I tell him.

 

“You only need to tell her that for her nothing will change, that you both still love her.” He tells me.

 

“Which I already know, without you telling me.” I tell him.

 

“It’s what Gus needed from Justin. Gus worried that the new babies would replace his place in Justin’s life. In the end I think he just wanted to be able to call Justin Dad.” He looks to see if it bothered me.

 

“Why wouldn’t he, Justin was there his whole life?” I ask, wondering if Brian was worried it bothered me.

 

“I just noticed that you stiffened when you heard Gus say that.” He tells me.

 

“It’s because of Jenny. Ben’s been a father to her all her life and she’s never had a reason to worry that she’ll lose a parent.” I tell him.

 

“Ben better be ready to assure her that no matter what happens, he’s still her father.” Brian tells me, but it’s like he’s warning Ben.

 

“Ben loves her and he wouldn’t abandon her.” I tell him.

 

“I’m worried about my friend, who is dealing with the end of his relationship.” Brian tells me.

 

“Your friend didn’t do what he should have to save his marriage. Ben did what he needed to do in order to be happy. Maybe someday I’ll find someone who can make me happy.” I tell him. 

 

“You will, because I don’t accept failure.” He tells me, looking at Justin.

 

“BRIAN, GET OVER HERE, THIS LITTLE GIRL SEEMS TO WANT YOU, GOD HELP HER!” Ma screams with a screaming bundle in her arms.

 

“See. I trained my babies well.” Brian gets up rushing to get his daughter.

 

I walked over with and put my arm around Justin’s shoulders, “You realize that those girls are going to be spoiled rotten.” I tell him.

 

“It’s Brian, what did you really expect him to do for his kids?” Justin asks me, smiling.

 

When we went back inside I realized that no one had said what Mel and Lindsay had picked as middle names, so I asked.

 

“Well, in honor of Vic, Jasmine’s middle name is Victoria and Bella’s is Maria.” Mel answers. 

 

When Deb heard the middle names, she started crying. Vic had always hated his middle name which was Marius, and Maria was the female version, and a name that he loved. “How did you know Vic’s middle name?” she asked Mel.

 

“I was his lawyer.”  

 

When we all sat around this time I held Jasmine and smiled that they added a little Vic to the girls lives. I was a little jealous because Justin even managed to make gorgeous babies, but then he always managed to accomplish anything he set out to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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