CHAPTER 75: AN UNEXPECTED ASSIST, SLICK vs BRIAN…AND REALITY BITES FOR LINDSAY

SECURITY OFFICE – LATE SUNDAY MORNING

MICHAEL

My heart is hammering in my chest as I wait in the security officer’s office.  He is very slowly looking through the security footage.

“Ah I see.”  He looks from the screen at me.  “You had a good time last night.”  He scoffs.

“Can you just give me a copy of the disc so I can go to the police to report the theft?!”  I demand.

“Here you go.  But…”  He hands me the disc and I storm out muttering and slamming the door.

I’m part way down the corridor when he calls me back.  Sighing I whirl back to face him.  “What is it now?”

“Your duffle bag is here with all the contents.”

“What?!”  I almost fall to the ground in relief.  “Why didn’t you tell me that before?”  I demand.

“You left the room before I could.  Can you come back and confirm the contents?” I almost run back to the office and I spot my bag.  “Is this it?”  He asks.

“Yes, can I take it now?”

“You need to identify the contents.”  He tells me and opens the bag.

“What we have here are 2 bathrobes, two lots of all the toiletries that were in your bathroom.  Some comics, for your children?  Some personal effects; a set of house keys, e-ticket, wallet…don’t worry all the cards are there, though the money is gone.  A notepad…how old is the kid that drew this?  It’s so sweet that you carry this with you…”

“I don’t have children!”  I snap at him.  “This would go quicker if I identified it myself.”

“That’s a maybe but I’m going to do it.”

An hour later, I am finally back in my room.  Minus the hotel’s stuff, but that can soon be remedied.  The knock at the door startles me and I open the door to see a rather green at the gills looking Lindsay.

“I feel like shit.  Do you have Advil?”  She mutters, leaning against the door.

She doesn’t seem to be behaving differently with me and I nod.  “Come on let’s actually get out of here…”

“No I can’t face the walk.”  She gripes.  “Let’s just go downstairs, they’re not here after all.”

“That’s true.  Let’s go.”

DET. CRANE’S ROOM

BANK

I look across at Crane.  He has been my partner for 10 years and still I don’t know him.

“You do realise what you did?”  I ask him, kicking at his feet.

“Yep.  But don’t think it was for him.”

“Explain that to me.”

He sighs heavily.  “He was being an ass last night.  Hitting on everything with a pulse, even hit on the same guy twice; he was that buzzed.  He dropped his card and some guy at the bar spotted it and picked it up and headed for the lifts.  So me and a couple of security guards followed him and waited for him to come out with his bounty and that was that.  Do you really think he would’ve just claimed what was actually in there?”

We sit in silence for a few minutes.  “What bothers you about her?”  I ask him.

“She’s good people.  And the cops have let her and her mom down enough.”  His phone rings and he listens and then hangs up.  “What?”  I ask.

“They are eating out of their rooms today.”

“Wow spending their own money? Impressive!”  I snark.

“No.”  He replies grimly.  “They are staying in the hotel, just hitting downstairs instead.  Let’s go.”

“Jesus.”  I sigh and follow him out.

LUXE RODEO DRIVE – EARLY SUNDAY MORNING

ROOFTOP

JUSTIN

“Brian?”  Silence.  “Brian?”  I reach across and prod him.  Slowly he opens his eyes.

“Justin, the point of this is to be relaxed and take it easy before we do what we’re going to do later.”

“I know.  But about tomorrow I want to…”

“Guys, can you give us about 10 minutes?”  He asks politely and the masseurs leave. “Get up Justin.”  

Frowning, I stand and he pulls me to the other side of the roof.  “Brian what are you…oh!”  I squeal as he rips off my paper pants whirls me round and gives me six sharp slaps on my ass before taking me down whole.

“Brian!”  I squeal before gasping and panting as he quickly brings me off.

I’m dazed as he tugs me back to the massage table.  “Put your pants on and lie down.  We talk later.”  He orders.

“Okay.”  I stand on my tiptoes to kiss him and then do as I’m told.  I’m vaguely aware of him speaking to the masseurs to let them back in before I went to sleep.

DEBS AND CARL’S SUITE

CARL

He is such a fucking shit!  The guy who tried to steal the stuff says that the duffel already had the toiletries and the mini bar stuff in there.  The robes he took and one lot of toiletries.  Crane can’t wait for them to get back to the Pitts so he can just nab them and have done.

Claire and Terez have worked their magic on us and we’re flying back on Tuesday night, with Ems and the rest.

“Honey.”  Debs calls from the bathroom.  “Do you know what’s bothering Slick?”

I freeze and think quickly.  “Maybe she’s still…”

“Carl.”  Her tone is sharp.  “What’s wrong with Slick?”

“I can’t tell you.  I would if I could but I can’t.”  I reply honestly.  “Please don’t ask any more.”

“Does Brian know?”  She comes to sit next to me.

“No, nobody but me.”  I’m surprised when she kisses my cheek as I expected her to press more.  “You’re a good man.  So, Richard Gere, you going to give me my Pretty Woman moment on Rodeo Drive!”

I burst out laughing.  “Yeah that’s tomorrow.  Today we’ve got Justin and Slick things to do today.”

“He’s like the little brother she never had.”  She chuckles.

HUNTER AND DAPHNE’S SUITE

DAPHNE

“Don’t blame me!”  Hunter objects.  “You said just wait at the counter remember?!”

“My exact words were: you and Molly wait at the counter, I’m going to get Jenny.  How the hell are we going to get this lot home?!”

I sit down heavily on the bed and look at the shopping fiends.  “You can’t talk Daphne!  Those two pairs of Manolos aren’t ours and neither is that bag from Coach!”  Jenny pouts.

Hunter snorts with laughter.  “So we’re returning the Hugo Boss jacket, are we?”  Jennifer smirks as he goes pale and shakes his head.

“M-maybe we can say Auntie Em…”

“Auntie Em did what?”  He asks and then gasps and freezes.  “For the love of Liza, how much have you spent?!”

Jenny and Molly look even more mortified. They are not helped when Emmy turns to them with an angry expression.  “Molly go get Brian but not Justin.  Jenny go get your moms and dads…now!”

Twenty minutes later everyone, but Justin and Slick, are in the room with their receipts and Claire and Ted are totalling everything up.

Ted and Claire hand Brian the calculators and he taps for a few minutes.  “Does this include the hotels and spa treatments?”  He shakes his head and Brian closes his eyes.  “Seriously guys?!”  He snaps. The room goes quiet and Jenny looks like she’s going to cry.  “So I can take this back…”

The door knocks and Idaho lets in Justin and Slick.  “Justin!”  Brian rebukes him.

“She threatened me and I’ve already been spanked today!”  He grumbles, rubbing his ass for emphasis.

“Your mother doesn’t need to hear that!”  Jennifer admonishes him and he blushes.

“What’s with the council of war?”  Slick looks at Brian and raises both eyebrows.

“Okay before you look at that.  We can take some things back.”  Mel argues.

“Just give it to me.”  She sighs and Brian hands it over.  “And this excludes hotel and spa treatments?”  He nods.

“I’ll cover Justin, Debs, and Carl and mine…”  He begins.

“Guys chill!”  She chuckles.  “Okay we have a while to spend a million dollars, so I wasn’t expecting much but this, as dents go, is impressive.  Crack on!”  She heads back to the door.  “And Kinney, you might want to save that money that you wanted to offer.  There’s a Classic Car Auction that I’m going to tomorrow afternoon. Just keep away from the 1988 Jag or you and I are going to have problems!”

She heads out still laughing and for a while the room is stunned into silence.

“A million…”  Debs breathes.

“Ted, did you know?”  Blake asks and Ted nods his head.

“Baby, do you need some post glow cream? I know where to get some.”  Ems asks.

“Emmy!”  Justin wails.

“Classic Car auction…Slick!”  Brian shouts and runs out, swiftly followed by Idaho.

“Um.”  Claire clears her throat.  “She said crack on right?”

There’s nodding and smiles.  “And tomorrow and Tuesday are free days.”  She adds.

“So crack on for fuck sake!”  Slick shouts from outside the door.

BACCARAT HOTEL – MONDAY EVENING

RECEPTION

RECEPTIONIST

“Thank you for staying at the Baccarat New York, Ms Peterson and Mr Novotny. We hope to welcome you back again soon.”

“Oh we hope so.”  Ms Peterson smiles.  “It was so wonderful.”

“So your bill needs to be settled.”

“Slick, I mean Ms Phoenix said that this would be settled upon her departure.”  He smiles at me.  “Thank you.  Now is the car to the airport sorted out?”

I nod and they head to the vehicle and out of the hotel.  I head to the office.

“Did they pay?”  Det. Crane asks.

“No.  He, I mean Mr Novotny, said Ms Phoenix would settle upon her departure.”  I reply.

“Did Ms Peterson say or do anything that contradicted that?”  He asks.

“No.  He just asked about the car to the airport and they both left.”

“Would you be happy to write a statement to that effect?”  Det. Bank asks.

“Absolutely.  Housekeeping said for a man so small he made a lot of mess and she was an uppity bitch.  Her room may have been tidy but her manners were dirty!”

Det. Crane smiles and produces a piece of paper.  “Can you also attach their bill to it and let management know that we will also be checking out today?”

As I finish my statement and sign it, I smile at them both.  “You are such a nice couple.  Do they normally let couples work together in Pittsburgh?  I hope you enjoyed your pedicure and you enjoyed your deep tissue.”  They just stare at me.  “Oh! You two... I really hope to see back again. So nice.”  I grin at them and leave.

DET. BANK

“So, tell me… What colour are your toes?”  He teases me.

“How was your steak, and the brandy and the pudding?”  I retort.

“We will never speak of this.”  He replies.

“Agreed.”  I smirk.  “And they’re blue.”

CLASSIC CAR AUCTION – MONDAY EVENING

BRIAN

“You go run interference!”  I hiss at him.

“I’m not running interference.”  Justin backs away.  “Not with you two and definitely not with you two and cars!  She said no!”

“Justin.” I whine and pout.

“We’re with Slick on this.”  Emmy drapes an arm over my shoulders.  “I couldn’t fit in it and you’re taller.”

“But…”  I stare longingly at the dark cherry red Jaguar 1988.

“But nothing, kiddo!”  Debs grabs my arm firmly and pulls me away.

NESPRESSO FLAGSHIP BOUTIQUE – TWO HOURS LATER

CARL

“Slick!”  I whisper hoarsely.  “For God sake, can we tell them?!”

“Nah let him sulk a bit.”  She chuckles.

“I don’t normally beg a woman to do anything but please!”  Ted looks imploringly at me.

Slick was being Slick and got into a bidding war with Brian over the 1988 Jaguar and won.  Whilst we bid on the wedding present for the pair of them, Justin has come to appreciate cars. When she told us what she had got them for their wedding present, the Lincoln, I said we – as in the rest of the family – have to get them something car related. So when she saw it, she said it was perfect.

“It would be so much better if they just found them outside the diner with pretty bows on them…”  Brandon smirks.  “Not that I’m trying to rub it in the faces of two other people we know.  At all.  Not even a tiny bit.”

“And maybe we could throw a party you know?  Happy Wedding love the Avenue family! Oh and we must invite them of course.”  Kyle is warming to the theme.

“Evil.  You two.  Just flipping evil!”  I point between him and Brandon.  “Look like butter wouldn’t melt but…”

“Us?  Perish the thought.”  Brandon smirks.

BRIAN

Justin rubs my knuckles to get my attention.  “You’re not still upset about the car?”

I shake my head and smile at him.  “No, she was completely right, as usual, I am too tall, but it is gorgeous!”  I lean across and kiss him.  “Not as gorgeous as you though.”

He goes a nice shade of pink and then bites his lip.  “Do you know what’s wrong with Slick?”  I go to speak but he cuts across me.  “She just drifts a bit.  And since when does she smoke?”

I look across at my best friend and she’s lighter twirling.  “Oh fuck.”  I breathe.  “Stay here.”

I nod at Emmy and he follows me.  “With us.  Now.”  I tell her firmly, taking the lighter off her.

“Excuse us guys, we’ll be back.”  Emmy calls over his shoulder.

As we head down the street, she doesn’t speak but when we stop outside a storefront, she takes a breath.  “Michael put the ‘sold’ sticker on my mom’s portrait.”

“Are you fucking kidding me with that shit?!”  Lindon shouts, making us all jump.  

She shakes her head sadly.  “How can he do something so despicable?”  She mutters.

For once, I can’t think of a thing to say.  Emmy and I are just staring at each other in disbelief.

“Brian, I said can I have my lighter back?”  She jabs me and I hand it to her.

“I’m going to…”  I snarl.

“Lindsay and he were staying at the Baccarat, not the Viceroy and have left me with a $7000 bill. Well technically they have.  I will settle with the hotel.”  She swallows hard.  “It was a deliberate fraud.  Lindsay called the hotel and pretended to be me then added themselves to the booking. They had a damn good time on my dime, which I wouldn’t have a problem with if I actually liked them or they had fucking asked!  They have four days to make restitution or I shall have them arrested for fraud.”

She leans against Lindon.  “I can’t let them get away with this.  Debs is going to hate me.”

“Honey, no I won’t.”  Debs voice is surprisingly gentle.  “You guys go back to the coffee shop and get everyone ready to go.  We’ll be back.”

NESPRESSO FLAGSHIP BOUTIQUE

JUSTIN

Okay, what the hell is that expression about?!  Brian, Lindon and Emmy come back looking thunderous.  And now that Debs and Slick are back, it seems we’re going back to the hotel.  What the fuck has happened?!

LUXE RODEO DRIVE

BRIAN AND JUSTIN’S STUDIO

JUSTIN

I’ve poured the Beam and I wait.  I know better now. He needs to process it before he talks to me.

“How can someone you’ve known all of your life be so fucking hateful?”

“Is this about Michael, Lindsay or both?”  I massage the back of his skull and he leans into my hand.

“Both but mostly Michael.”  He sighs and then rests his head in my lap.  After a while, he opens his eyes and looks up at me.  “He put the sticker on the portrait.”

For a minute or two, I don’t say anything.  “Who to-told you?”

“Slick did. When they were trying to find out what happened, one of the guests told her that he saw him do it and…”

“Who else knows?”  I growl.

“Emmy, Debs, Lindon and I think that’s it.”  He sighs heavily.  “She didn’t tell us until today.”

“And…”  I prompt and he frowns.  “The ‘oh fuck’ when I mentioned smoking.”

“Stressed is tapping.  Twirling is really bad and this is really bad.  And I’m not going to do a thing to stop her.”

“Brian?  What’s going on?”  I demand, taking the Beam off him.

By the time he’s finished telling me, I’m seething and then start counting the days.  “So she won’t be at the wedding then?”

“She’ll be at the wedding; wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

DINER – WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON

KIKI

I blink twice but it’s still there.  The most beautiful coat I have ever seen.  “Debs!”  I sniffle.

“Not me!”  Debs hands me a napkin.  “Her and Ems.”

“So you had a nice time in Beverly Hills, then?”  The snark in Lindsay’s voice is unmistakeable.

“Wonderful!”  Debs replies and looks out of the window and then back to the booth again.

I march up to her and tap her on the arm.  “Okay what…”  I pause as the diner goes dark.

“Okay, why are there two fucking big boxes outside?”  A leather queen demands before a primly dressed bellhop comes in.

“Is there a Brian Kinney and a Justin Taylor in this locale?”  He booms, surprisingly loud.

“Yes this is us and you are?”  Brian demands.

“Gentlemen if you please!”  He waves them ahead and Justin looks at Brian and he shrugs.

BRIAN

Everyone follows us out and the bellhop clears his throat.  “Gentlemen!  You may read the card and then open this box first!”  He hands me the card and I snicker and hand it to Justin, before he swallows hard and pulls on the rope.

“Wow!”  Carl sighs.  “Now that is beautiful.  It’s a Lincoln, right?”

I nod as Justin seems to have been rendered mute.  “It’s the car that he borrowed on our first weekend away.”

“And the next card, gentlemen.”  The bellhop booms and with a trembling hand Justin reaches for it.

“Drama queen much.”  Michael mutters.

“Shut the fuck up Coventry!”  Someone shouts.  “You’re just pissed because nobody will ever do this for you!”

“From the Queen, her consort, the B&B Squad and the Avenue to the King and his Prince.  Keep on cruising!”  Justin chuckles and nods at me to pull the rope.

“A 1939 Buick Coupe!  A 1939 Buick Coupe!”  I whirl to face Debs.  “Where is she?!  There is no way in fuck you’ve done this on your own.  The emporium hiding I’ll bet.  I’ll be back.”   I start to head in that direction and pause.  “That’s why she mentioned the Jaguar?”  Debs nods tearfully.

“So which one you going to take?  To the wedding I mean?”  Carl is stroking the Buick.

“This one, definitely the Buick.”  Justin looks at the bellhop.  “Um do you have keys for these?”

“No sir, we have a trailer coming to get them in a few minutes.”  And true to his word, I spot her trailer coming down the street.

“Okay orders are going up!”  Claire yells, heading for the door.

Everyone heads back inside, although we wait for the cars to be loaded very carefully.

MICHAEL

Jesus show off much!  Lindsay and I shake our heads and retake our seats.  Lindsay is looking at the coat that Kiki was given.

“It’s not real fur.”  She says dismissively, reaching for it.  “You can tell without even touching it.”

“Which you will never do.”  Kiki sneers, taking it out of reach.  “Besides I don’t wear real fur.”

She stalks off with it and I roll my eyes, waiting for mother or Sarah to come.

“What will you have?”  Mother asks.  “Oh how was New York after we went?”

“Great just great!”  Lindsay trills.  “We had a very relaxing time of it…”

“Which hotel were you in again?”  She settles down next to Lindsay.

“The B…Viceroy, beautiful place.”  She replies.

“Looked nice from the outside when I dropped you off.”  Carl mentions and kisses mother’s cheek; I try not to barf.  “Debs, I’ll see you tonight.  And thanks for the keys.”

Keys!

“See you honey.”  She turns back to me.  “Michael, are you okay?  You’ve gone a funny colour.”

“Keys!”  I hiss.  “What keys?”

“None of your business.”  She replies tartly, standing up.  “Now what will… holy fuck!”

The diner has gone dark again.  “More presents for the groom and groom?!  She’s really going all out!”  Lindsay snarks.

“M-m-master!”  Twinkle gibbers.  “It’s, it’s…”

“Finished.  Yes Twinkle it is.”  Grim smiles at him and Twinkle rushes out only to come back in again.  “Go on!  I’ll be right there.”

I look out the window and it’s an RV, totally done out in black and silver.  Slick comes in smiling.  “I can see how he could pin you to the floor Grim!  He’s got one heck of a grip on him!”

She turns to us and her face falls a little.  “Did you enjoy New York?  It’s a shame you couldn’t do Los Angeles.  Justin wanted to keep it on a need to know basis.”

“I’ll bet he did.”  Lindsay snipes.  “Yes we had a wonderful time, thank you.  So did you buy anything nice whilst you were over there?”

“1988 Jaguar in dark cherry red and this jacket.”  She looks down picking off a piece of lint.  “And of course Kiki’s coat.  And Sarah’s earrings and…”

The door is flung open and Twinkle is wrapped round her saying thank you a lot before rushing out again.

“What about you two?  Did you get anything?  Do anything?  I hear they have lovely spas in the Viceroy.”  She leans against the booth.

“Yes we had one or two treatments.”  Lindsay smirks.  “And the toiletries were so heavenly that we just had to get some.  Didn’t we, Michael?”

I grin at her.  “Yes and…”

“Michael, you would’ve loved Cool Cat Comic and Cards. France, Molly and Casper had a ball!”  

I glare at her.  “Casper was there?”

She nods.  “Did you eat out much?”

That puts a smile back on my face.  “Lots and some of the wine.  Well, you’re not much of a connoisseur I suppose, but we had a particularly good bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon over there. It’s such a fresh and clean white that went perfectly with the food.  And speaking of food…”

“You had a white cabernet Sauvignon in New York?”  She interrupts.

“Yes Slick, we had a White Cabernet Sauvignon whilst in New York.  Jealous?”

“Not really.  I’m just surprised that’s all.”

“Surprised about what?”  Lindsay demands

“That you went all the way over there just for wine and a burger.  Must have cost a pretty penny.”

“What are you talking about?”  Lindsay bridles.

“The Hamptons.  That’s the only place in New York that you will get white Cabernet Sauvignon from.  I ought to know I get a crate every year.”  The door opens and she smiles.  “Seriously over a car?”

“Two cars.  So we had to celebrate twice.”  Brian smirks and leans in to kiss her cheek.  “Thank you.”

“Where’s Justin?”

“Recovering from being mortified in front of Sidney.”

“Sidney?”  Lindsay echoes.  “Do you think he’s coming here?”

“How was he mortified?”  Mother asks with a smirk.

“We were on the roof and forgot he had a key.”  He shrugs.

“Oh kiddo!”  Mother guffaws.

As if on cue, they both come in.  “Can you at least not share with everyone?!”  Justin chides him as everyone turns to look them.

“Sidney.  I’m glad you’re here because I was going to…”

“Lindsay.  Is this about the Mitheson conversation we had?”  He glares at her.

“Yes.  You got to say your piece and I…”  She starts.

“Think very carefully about what you are going to say Lindsay.  I have a lot of sway as you are finding out, I believe.”  She looks surprised.  “Yes, people have been asking about you and I have been honest in my response.”

She goes bright red and then stares hard at him.  “You have been badmouthing me around the art district!”  She hisses.

“No.  It would be illegal to give you a bad reference.”  He replies and then he looks at me.  “You were uppity before but now that you’re mixing with certain people, you have gotten worse.  Now excuse me, I’m going to collect my lunch.”  He turns and heads to the booth.

“Wow Lindsay.  And to think you thought Justin was talking shit about you and it turns out that it was just Sidney being honest.”  Brian scoffs.  “A concept that you have still yet to learn.  Both of you.”

“Brian!  Order up!”  Claire yells.

“Coming and you go back.”  He smiles at Justin.  “And after we eat… so will you be.”

“Yes sir!”  Justin smirks and leaves.

Emmett comes in and stops by our table.  “Why are we so popular all of a sudden?”  I ask.

“Oh trust me you’re not.  I’m after Debs and she has the misfortune to be sitting next to you two.  And before you speak…remember who owns this place.”  He takes Slick’s hand and grins.  “I got them!”

“Ooh office!  I want to see them!”

“Wait for me!”  Mother calls after them.  “Sarah, can you take their order!”

“If I must!”  She calls back, rolling her eyes.

OFFICE

EMMETT

Debs and Slick are fascinated by them.  “Are you absolutely sure that Brian wanted these?”

I nod and start to laugh again.  “Oh good God, he doesn’t want them but this is the only way that Justin will spend the night before his wedding with him.  As cock cages go, they’re rather fancy.”

“Why didn’t he just get them in Los Angeles instead of sending you to save his reputation by buying them here for him?”

“Them. They are both wearing them and they didn’t have Brian’s size.”  They gape at me.  “I know right, place with one of the biggest porn industries in the world and they don’t go up to a size 9.”

“Jesus! How does Justin sit down afterwards?”  Debs mutters, exchanging looks with Slick.

“Carefully.  Very carefully.”  Slick chuckles.

LINDSAY

I’m desperate to know what is going on in the office.  I am still smarting over my smack down by Sidney. I can’t believe it is him blocking me from working!  Luckily, I still have an in with Catherine and Sandrine. He can’t stop me entirely.

“Are you guys finished?”  Sarah asks.

“Yes, thank you.”  I lean back so she can take our plates.

“Then leave. There are people who need the table.”  She retorts and puts down our bill.

I glare at her and reach for my wallet and nudge Michael to do the same.  Suddenly he makes a funny noise and goes pale.

“Michael, you okay?”

He just nods and stands quickly.  “I’ll see you back at home, I-I need to check something!”

He practically runs out of the diner.

MICHAEL

I find a quiet doorway and double check my wallet again. Fuck!  It’s not there.  I swallow hard and resign myself to the fact that with the condom missing, Lindsay and I must have fucked!