It was a slow night at Woody's. The gang decided to meet there together, biding their time while waiting for the activity to be going full swing at Babylon. They had all agreed to start at their favorite bar to wish Justin a happy anniversary, wanting to support their friend and help him to celebrate the milestone that today represented , even though no one had the nerve to say those words to his partner. Everyone there knew that Brian Kinney had broken every rule he had ever held dear when he fell in love with the little blonde twink, but they also knew that the handsome brunette with the piercing hazel eyes would never admit that to himself, or share his feelings with any of them, not even to the one man who had brought love into his life, and changed him forever.
The unconventional couple had been together for 5 years, more if you counted the years that were wasted waiting for Brian to grow up, catching up in maturity with the young man who had captured his heart. Even though Justin was now living in New York, pursuing his art, his career having taken off like a shot under the guidance of the agent that Lindsay had helped him find, the boys had managed to remain committed to each other. Both of them had racked up a generous allotment of frequent flyer miles as they flew back and forth as often as they could, wanting to spend as much time with each other as their schedules would allow.
Michael and his husband Ben, and Ted and Emmett, who were here with their partners Blake and Drew, had all been friends with Brian for as long as they could remember. Although Mikey, being Brian's oldest friend, had a lot of resentment and insecurity to deal with when Justin first came on the scene, that was now old news. Each of the guys were thrilled for Brian and Justin and the happiness they had found. Still, not one of them believed for a moment that monogamy was part of the arrangement. Brian would never agree to give up his tricking, of that they were all sure. For Brian, the hunt was almost as intoxicating as the sex that resulted. He was Brian ‘fucking' Kinney, the stud of Liberty Avenue, and while some things had changed through his years with his young lover, that one fact remained the same.
No one really felt like playing pool, so as they sat and talked, each thinking about this relationship they had watched evolve throughout the years, as well as their own with their boyfriends, the conversation began to revolve around what each of them found most fulfilling about their bond with their partners, and the life they shared.
As Brian and Justin arrived, the men greeted each other with hugs and kisses as was their custom, each friend finding an opportunity to whisper into Justin's ear congratulations for the achievement of enduring with Brian all these years, as well as fond wishes for the future.
"Sorry we are late boys," Brian said, pulling his lips in, as his eyes lit up with the satisfied smile that he could not keep from showing. "Something came up."
"Oh, such wit," Emmett exclaimed. "You really do need to find some new lines Brian, those old ones you're still using might give away your age." A collective gasp could be heard around the table, each man holding his breath waiting to see how Brian would respond, but the tall brunette simply smiled. "Careful Honeycutt," he replied. The fact that he was not really angry showed clearly in his features and his tone, relief showing itself across each of their faces. "Oh, we're always careful," Emmett responded, batting his eyelashes sideways at Drew, his lover, "and don't call me Honeycutt."
"So, what have you guys been yapping about?", Brian asked, curious about the serious expressions he had witnessed when they arrived.
"We were discussing what we enjoy most about being in love", Blake replied. Brian rolled his eyes in an attempt to appear completely disinterested in such a ridiculous conversation as he probed, "and pray tell, what lesbianic tidbits did you ladies come up with." He sat down, partially turning his back, as he threw back one of the shots of J.B. the guys had waiting for him on the table.
"For us, it's all the romantic things we do to let each other know how much we love them. Like the little notes Michael puts in my lunch bag each morning. They really make my day", Ben said, wrapping his arm around his lover. "Yeah, or the text messages he sends me every day, letting me know that he is thinking of me. They always make me smile", Mikey added.
"Oh,God, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit, professor. You and my old friend here are the perfect little stepford fag poster boys. But, please, don't let me stop you, by all means, go on. "
"Well, baby, for me and Drewsie here, it's hearing him say, ‘I love you'. Nothing turns me on quite like that. And I know he loves when I say it back to him." Emmett layed his head down on the football player's broad shoulder, each of them smiling at the other with admiration and attraction evident in their eyes.
Ted, who had been warily watching his boss throughout the whole discussion, bravely offered his own two cents when he judged by Brian's demeanor that he was not reacting as strongly as they might have expected to all this talk about love and romance, words that would have sent him running for the hills before he met a certain young man under the lamppost those many years ago. "I think for us," he said looking at Blake for confirmation, it's the spontaneity of knowing that whatever feels right, me making love to him, or him making love to me, it's just, well...always ok to just let it happen. We trust each other, and I always strive to be aware of fulfilling his needs, knowing he will do the same for me."
"Well, for us, it's about the fucking," Brian stated abruptly, grabbing Justin's hand and pulling him to his feet. "Nothing more, nothing less. Leave all the rest for the munchers, will ya? I bet you bunch of housewives each wish you had a hot ass like Sunshine's here to fuck into the mattress morning , noon or night, always right there when the mood hits." With that, Brian wrapped his arm around the blonde's shoulder, and led him towards the door. "Hope you don't mind gentlemen, but all this talk about fucking has made me hornier than hell, and I just happen to have the perfect answer to my problem right here at my side. Let's go, Justin. Looks like you are gonna' get lucky tonight...all night long. See ya boys." Brian led Justin through the door, leaving his friends with their mouths agape, no one quite sure what to say.
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Mikey watched quietly from his seat, as a single tear ran down his cheek. Ted was the first to notice, and quickly apologized for what he thought might be the reason for his friend's emotions spilling over. "Geez, Michael," he said quickly, " I'm so very sorry. I wasn't even thinking when I was talking about how spontaneous Blake and I can be, with not having to use condoms anymore after all these years of it being just the two of us. I really didn't mean to hurt you, you know that, don't you?"
"No, no, Teddy, It's ok, That's not what got me choked up for a moment there. Sure, Ben and I have times when we wish we could feel what it's like to make love raw, but it's just something that we both know can never happen, and we have found peace with that. No, I am just so sad for Justin. I know that I fought tooth and nail to get rid of him back at the beginning, and for much too long after that, but we really have gotten close over the years, both from working together on Rage, as well as through the realization that each of us has a piece of Brian that the other can never have, we are both important in his life. At the end of the day, however, this man right here is the one I want to go home to." Michael smiled as Ben gazed into his eyes, all the love he felt showing through clearly. "I know Justin and Brian have that, too, on some level, but It just makes me sad when I think of all the things we talked about here tonight. Monogamy , romance, I love you's, even making love naturally whenever and wherever like you guys can - Justin should have all that, and he never will. Even though it's their anniversary tonight, he won't hear about it from the one who means the most to him in the whole world. It makes me sad to know that even though our little Justin has gotten more of Brian than any other person on the face of the earth ever could, or ever will, he still has to settle for less than he could have if he had fallen in love with any other man. He deserves it, but Brian is Brian, and even Justin can only push him so far." The others all nodded their heads in agreement, knowing that what Michael was saying was oh, so true.
Meanwhile, at a hotel across town...
Brian opened the door to the penthouse suite he had reserved for the week-end. He swept Justin up into his arms, smiling as he heard the sharp intake of breath at the unexpected move. His tongue found it's familiar place at the center of his cheek, as he felt his own emotions warm his heart, a heart that most of Pittsburg, including his closest friends, thought was still safe behind the walls he had built up over the years. Only Debbie, and Justin's mother Jennifer knew the truth, and the secret was forever safe with them.
As he placed his lover back on his feet inside the door, his eyes swept over the scene laid out before him, at the same time as Justin responded, not quite believing what he was seeing. There were lit candles of every height flickering around the room. Two room service carts stood against one wall, a kind of impromptu cold buffet set up just for them, with a dinner the blonde could only imagine under tall domes, as well as every type of decadent dessert and pastry he could think of.
As Brian turned to close the door behind them, the music began to play, a mix he had created himself, with songs that had special meaning for the two of them. "Brian, this is incredible...you're incredible," he gushed, as Brian took him by the hand and began to twirl him around in his arms, much like he had all those years ago at his prom.
The two men danced like that for quite some time, neither wanting to do or say anything to end the moment. As the voice of Anne Murray filled the room, singing an old love song called "Can I Have This Dance For The Rest Of My Life", the tears pooling in Justin's eyes spilled over, running down his cheeks as he looked into Brian's eyes with so much love that the older man could barely keep his own tears at bay.
As the song ended, Brian reached down and placed his lips over his lovers mouth, with a kiss so tender and so intense that it left them both breathless and more than a little overwhelmed with the emotions they were feeling. Even with all his newfound openness with his partner, Brian needed to take a moment to regain at least some small modicum of control, before a full blown anxiety attack derailed the night that he had planned for so long, a night he so desperately wanted to give this man who stood before him, arms wrapped around his waist.
As he stepped back to douse the flames from the candles, Brian said, "Let me take this opportunity to give you a little tour of the place. It will be home for the next two nights and days. I hope you didn't have any plans for the week-end, because I have no intention of letting you out of my sight, or out of my arms, until Monday."
Justin smiled the biggest Sunshine smile that Brian thought he had ever seen, and the brunette felt his stomach flip once again. God, how he loved this man! "Brian, when did you plan all this? I had no idea you had anything special in mind, especially nothing like this. " Justin could not contain his awe, that this man he had loved for so long would now be willing to plan something like this...well...it was just unbelievable.
"You deserve this, and so much more. I can never make up for all the things I did not do, all the times I let you down, but I can promise you that I will spend the rest of our lives together trying to show you in every way I can how much I love you, and how lost I would be without you. I had no intention of sharing you this week-end, except of course for the little girls night out the gang had planned for you - yes I knew about it - and decided that it wasn't worth fighting over. Now that everyone thinks we are leaving for a business trip for the week-end though, the loft will be empty, the cell phones will be turned off, and there is nothing to distract us."
With that, Brian pressed his lips once again against those of the younger man, immediately seeking entrance, smiling as he felt Justin open up and the kiss suddenly became much more urgent. The tour would have to wait, as he wanted - no needed - to make love to Justin, and he needed it right now.
Clothes flying, they each set a record removing every single stitch of clothing, and rejoined not only at their lips, but pressing as much of their bodies as they could against each other, neither man being able to get enough of the other.
"Justin...God...I am going to come all over myself like a virgin schoolboy if you don't get on that bed and let me fuck you. " His eyes turned darker as he watched his partner seductively walk towards the bed, his perfect bubble butt quivering and jiggling as he moved. Brian followed him swiftly, filled with lust and anticipation, squeezing lube onto this fingers and his cock as he watched this man he loved so much get into position. The longing and hunger written all over Justin's face, beckoning with a silent invitation, took the last ounce of control that Brian had.
He lined his cock up with Justin's rosebud, and with very little preparation, just enough that he could be sure he would not hurt him, he thrust his cock in to the hilt in one quick movement, causing both men to cry out as the sensations overwhelmed their bodies and their minds.
Both men knew that this first time would not last very long, already near the precipice with only a few strokes. Brian still could not believe how different it felt, how absolutely amazing, to be inside his lover with no barrier between them. Had he known that it would feel this good, he had no doubt that he would have been able to commit to fucking only Justin so much sooner. There was no way he could go back to using condoms now, not after feeling what it felt like to slide his dick into Justin's body, feeling every ridge, feeling the heat, feeling only his lover against his cock...well...there was just nothing like it.
He was brought back from his thoughts by the sound of Justin screaming his name as he came, the spasms inside him constricting against Brian's cock pushing him over the edge as well. "Justin... ahhhhh... fuck...so good...I fucking love you so much!" "I love you, too," Justin whispered, barely able to make a sound, "you have no idea how much I love you!".
A few hours later...
Brian woke up to the sensation of Justin running his hands over every inch of his body. His skin sent tiny electric sparks to his brain, as he shivered under his lovers touch. "Wait right here. I have something I want to give you. " Justin walked out into the parlor and found his messenger bag. He had carried it with him, thinking that he would give Brian his anniversary present at Babylon tonight, rather than waiting until they got back to the loft. He had figured that they would be so horny by the time they got in the door, that neither one would be thinking of anything other than feeling skin against skin, releasing the passion that he knew a night of dancing and backroom antics would build up.
Brian lay on his side, head on his hand, with his eyebrow raised in confusion. "What could you possibly have in there" he asked, and then it became clear when he saw Justin take out a canvas that was nearly as big as the bag.
Justin handed the picture to Brian, who gasped as he turned it over. "Sunshine...this is...amazing. I don't think I have ever seen anything so beautiful in my life", he said, unable to tear his eyes away from the picture that was before him. There was their lamppost, with the fog rising up around them, and in a glow that rivaled that which he had always imagined heaven would be like, stood two men, obviously both up in years, looking at each other with such depth of love that it was almost too intense to look at comfortably , like a light that was shining so brightly it hurt the eyes. One had his hand up, caressing the face of the other, while the other one had his hand placed firmly on the back of the first, holding their bodies together, bodies that fit so perfectly that not even the light behind them could break through.
Brian continued to stare at the picture of the two of them standing together, and then turned, mesmerized by the blue eyes that were gazing back at him. "Promise me, Brian, that no matter what happens, what places our lives take us to, whether we are living together or apart, promise me that this will be us. I want to grow old with you. I can't exist anymore without you in my life. "
Brian smiled, a great big sunshine smile that could rival those he had seen on Justin's face so many times through the years. He knew that here in this place, or anywhere the two of them are alone, that Justin wants the romance, the words, the freedom to love Brian freely, no inhibitions, no holding back. He wonders to himself what he could have possibly ever done in this life to deserve the kind of love that Justin shows him, the selfless love that doesn't need the world to know what happens behind closed doors.
He needs to know I love him, he thought to himself . He needs to hear the words , but he doesn't need anyone else to hear them. He doesn't need our love to be validated by anyone around us, like most of the couples that surround them seem to need. He doesn't even care that their friends feel sorry for him, thinking that he is missing out on something that no one should ever have to live without. He doesn't have a need for others to acknowledge that he has tamed the wild beast, Brian ‘Fucking' Kinney. It is enough that he knows. Here, in his arms, Brian thought, I can be me... the other me... the one that only Justin sees.
As he hands the bottle of lube to his boyfriend, not able to ask for what he wants, but sure that Justin knows exactly what he needs, Brian looks into the eyes of the man he trusts more than he ever thought he could possibly trust anyone. "Yes, Justin, it's you, it's us, it's always been us...and it always will be."
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.