Friends and Lovers

Chapter 12

Brian left his office feeling like an entirely different man from the one who'd entered nearly ten hours earlier. Grafton had been thrilled with his concepts, so much so that he'd decided to go with not one, but two of the campaign ideas he'd come up with. It meant over a million dollars in revenue for Kinnetik.

And it reinforced the idea that Brian Kinney could sell an idea to anyone.

It was with that mindset that he left the building on a direct course for Michael and Ben's apartment. He loved Michael like a brother and he'd do almost anything for him, but not at the expense of his relationship with Justin. Not anymore.

There was an obvious look of surprise on Michael's face when he answered the door. "Brian. Two visits in one day. Should I be honoured or worried?"

"We need to talk," Brian stated as Michael let him in to the small apartment.

"Ok," Michael agreed uncertainly.

Brian took a deep breath. "Look, I can understand you not wanting everyone to know what's going on right now and I meant it when I said I wouldn't tell anyone."

"And I appreciate that, but …"

"But nothing," Brian snapped, cutting him off. "Did you forget the problems this kind of shit caused in the past? The fucking fiddler? The cancer?" His eyes narrowed slightly. "And if memory serves, it wasn't Justin who couldn't keep his mouth shut in either one of those cases; it was you."

"I know."

"That's it?" Brian demanded. "That's all you have to say?"

Michael crossed his arms over his chest. "If you'd let me get a word in, I'd also say I talked to Justin this afternoon and told him everything."

"Everything?"

Michael nodded. "I explained why I felt the way I did about the movie." He held up one hand when Brian looked like he was going to say something to that. "And, I apologized for what I said. I also told him about what happened with me and Ben."

Brian looked surprised for a moment before his gaze narrowed dangerously. "If you were going to tell him anyway, why all the fucking drama? Do you have any idea what we've been going through since you dropped your little bombshell and asked me to keep it to myself? Or is that what you were counting on? Is that it, Michael? Was this all some fucking test to see who I'd choose between my partner and my best friend?"

"No!" Michael replied adamantly. "Of course not!" He winced as his friend turned away from him in anger. "Brian, I know this has caused problems for you but that's not what I wanted. I just … I needed you as a friend, someone who could understand what I was going through."

"I'm trying, Michael," Brian sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I really am, but …" He shook his head as the words trailed off.

"But I was so scared for myself and angry with Justin that I lost sight of the fact that he's my friend, too." He paused for a moment before adding quietly, "And that maybe you'd need someone to lean on while I leaned on you."

It was a long, silent moment before Brian turned to face him. "You're pathetic; you know that?"

Michael offered a weak smile, garnering a similar one from his friend. "Yeah, I know. Self-centered, too, from what I hear."

"You certainly have your moments," Brian replied with a tired laugh.

"Are we OK, then?" Michael asked hesitantly.

Brian hugged him and dropped a quick kiss on his cheek. "That'll depend on whether or not I go home to an empty loft," he teased.

"Daphne was on her way up when I left," Michael informed him. "That was hours ago, though."

Brian grimaced. People teased Michael about the way he was always so quick to come to Brian's defense, but Daphne could certainly give him a run for his money in the category of loyal best friends. If Justin told her the whole story, she'd be giving him the evil eye for days to come, if not weeks. And that was only if she decided against tearing him a new asshole. "Great. That's just what I need."

"You're not scared of her, are you?" Michael teased.

"She hits," Brian replied solemnly.

He laughed. "I'm sure she's long gone by now, but if you want to call Justin first, just to make sure the coast is clear, be my guest."

"I'm not sure he'd answer," he replied, only half joking.

"He would," Michael said sincerely.

Brian's answering smile was one of gratitude. "I'll see you later, Mikey."

The sound of the familiar nickname was music to his ears. "Yeah, later."

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Brian's heart sank a little when he entered the silent loft. Daphne had, no doubt, whisked her best friend off for some compassionate downtime and he was faced with another long, lonely night with only his own thoughts for company. He placed his briefcase on the counter and pulled a beer out of the fridge. When he turned around, he was startled to see Justin standing at the bottom of the steps leading to the bedroom.

"Hey," he said, his tone registering his surprise.

"Hey." There was a brief pause while Justin crossed his arms over his chest and Brian wondered if the gesture was meant as one of self-preservation or defiance. "You didn't think I'd be here."

It wasn't really a question, so Brian answered only with a small shrug.

"I told you I was through with running."

"Michael told me Daphne was here earlier. I thought you might have gone out with her."

He frowned. "I thought you talked to Michael this morning."

"I did. And then I stopped in after I left the office to tell him what I thought of all this secrecy shit."

Justin shook his head sadly. "We can talk to Michael and Daphne but not each other. Why is that?"

"I couldn't tell you. I promised Michael."

"I know that," he replied, "and I understand why you couldn't tell me what was going on exactly. What I don't understand is why you couldn't just let me be there for you anyway."

"There was nothing you could do."

"Nothing the tricks couldn't do better, you mean."

One eyebrow rose slowly. "No, that's not what I meant."

They stood staring at one another before Brian shook his head and headed to the bedroom to change.

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"What's to say? I trick, you sleep with your potential boss. It's all good, right?"

"That was a mistake," Justin said quietly.

"Why? Because it was more than just a fuck?"

"What? No!"

"Then why did you turn down the job?"

Justin sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "For the same reason I fucked him. Not because I liked him, but because I wasn't sure I could really trust him."

Brian frowned, not liking the sound of that. "Why not?"

"During my second interview, he told me he was torn between hiring me and asking me out. Once I knew he was interested, I started wondering why he'd really offered me the job." He grimaced a little. "I didn't want it turning into another Sapperstein incident, so I bailed."

"But you fucked him first."

"Well…yeah. He's kinda hot."

One corner of his mouth twitched slightly in amusement. "I'm impressed, Sunshine."

Justin wrinkled his nose. "Don't be. I'm not proud of it."

They fell into silence as Brian pulled on a pair of sweats and Justin watched.

"You know we need to talk about all this, right?" Justin finally ventured.

Brian sighed. "I know I won't be able to stop you from talking, if that's what you mean."

"That's a start, I guess," Justin intoned.

"Look, I know how fucked up this whole thing got, but my hands were tied. I couldn't break my word to Michael. He's been there too many times for me."

"That sounds pretty selfish to me."

"He didn't mean…"

"I wasn't talking about Michael; I was talking about you."

"Me?" Brian demanded incredulously. "I'm not the one who wanted to keep the fucking thing a secret."

"No, but you were willing to do it because Michael needed you to."

"And that makes me selfish," he replied, disbelief colouring his tone.

Justin sighed. "Brian, you're always the go-to guy, the one everyone runs to with their problems."

"Because I'm the one with the check book," he muttered.

"There's more to it than that and you know it. Michael didn't need money, did he?"

"No," Brian admitted grudgingly. "I offered, but …"

"But it was your confidence he needed, and your support. And you gave him both because you wanted to. For the same reasons you'd drop everything to pick Gus up from school or to fly down to California at a moment's notice."

"Because I'm selfish?"

"Because you want to be needed," Justin said with a small smile. "Just like the rest of us."

"I didn't ask for any of this shit."

"Maybe not," he acquiesced. "But it comes with the territory when you have people you care about, who care about you."

Brian shook his head and looked away.

"And that," Justin continued, "is what makes you selfish."

Brian's gaze swung around slowly to meet his. "How, exactly, did you little blond brain come up with that?"

"I love you, Brian. I want to be there for you the way you are for me and Michael and Lindsay, but you won't let me. You turn to tricking or God knows what else, but you never turn to me."

"There was nothing you could do," Brian repeated.

"Not about Michael's problem, no, but I might have been able to help with yours. You're scared and worried for your best friend. I'd feel the same way if it was happening to Daphne, and I'd like to think you'd be there for me, not to change it or fix anything, but for comfort and support."

Brian looked away again, but he seemed to be mulling the words over in his mind.

"Just like I would have liked you to be there when Brett called to tell me that Richard's widow turned down our condolence gift."

"What?"

Justin shrugged as the angry hazel eyes bore into him. "She didn't want anything from anyone connected to the movie."

"When did he call?"

"Couple of days ago," Justin sighed. "You were driving Michael home, right before Lindsay showed up asking you to pick Gus up from school."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"You'd already told me you had enough shit to deal with," Justin said defiantly. His voice softened as he added, "And I'd already put you through enough with what happened in L.A."

"Is that why you didn't tell me what Michael said to you?"

He shook his head slowly. "I'm not going to run to you every time I have an argument with Michael."

"But bringing up Hobbes…" Brian sat down beside him on the bed. "Don't tell me that didn't upset you."

He refrained from pointing out that it probably upset Brian more, likely due to the fact that his lover, unlike him, still remembered every detail of that night. "It upset me when I thought you agreed with him."

"I didn't."

"I know."

They sat in silence for a moment before Brian scrubbed a hand over his face. "Are we done with this talking shit?"

Justin had to chuckle at the pained tone to his lover's voice. "Was it really that much of a hardship?"

"That depends. Did we accomplish anything?"

"You tell me."

Brian sighed. "I don't know. I can't promise it won't happen again. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly the sharing type."

"But you're getting there."

Brian barked a short laugh, shaking his head, and Justin leaned into him, resting against the solid warmth of the other man's body. "I don't expect you to share every little thing, Brian, but I want to feel like you can count on me the way I do you."

"Some would say counting on me is a risky venture at best."

"They'd be wrong," Justin replied, kissing his lover's bare shoulder lightly. "We've had some rough moments, but you always come through for me in the end."

Brian slipped his arm around Justin's shoulders, pulling him closer and deposited a quick kiss on the waiting lips. "The fact that we're both still here could say the same for you."

"It could," Justin concurred with a smile. "If you'd stop fighting it long enough to realize it."

"I'm getting there," he replied, tongue in cheek.

Justin elbowed him in the ribs, then reached up to kiss him. "I love you."

"I wish I could say the same, but you're back to being an unemployed, starving artist and I have my standards, you know."

Before he knew it, he was laying prone on the bed, an amused smirk on his lips and a delectable blond straddling his thighs.

"I was hoping," Justin purred as he bent to place a soft kiss at the corner of his mouth before trailing his lips along the line of his jaw, "that maybe there was a successful ad agency here in Pittsburgh that might be able to utilize my many talents."

Brian shuddered as his lover's warm breath washed over his skin. "I might be able to put in a good word for you somewhere," he teased.

"Somewhere where I don't have to worry about the boss being after my ass."

"Oh. Forget it, then."

Justin's mouth had made its way down to the flat stomach and was busy painting obscure patterns there with the tip of his tongue, reveling in the way the muscles twitched in response to his ministrations. "Mmm. Unless, of course, the boss is successful and hot with hazel eyes and a body to die for. I have my standards, too, you know."

"You think you're going to find someone like that in this burg?" Brian teased.

Justin moved up to kiss Brian long and hard. "I already have," he murmured once they parted. "Now I just have to convince him to give me the job."

One eyebrow rose in speculation. "And just how do you plan to do that, Sunshine?"

"By giving him one of my own," Justin replied in his most sultry voice. In seconds, he had Brian stripped of the sweat pants and was busy teasing the shaft to full hardness with his tongue.

"Christ," Brian muttered, his hips moving slightly toward the warmth of his lover's lips.

Justin chuckled before putting everything he had into the most intense blowjob he'd ever given. When Brian erupted down his throat scant moments later, he allowed he limp member to slip from his lips before moving up to kiss his lover, sharing the other man's taste with him.

"Well?" he murmured, nuzzling the skin below Brian's ear.

"The job's yours," Brian replied, his voice heavy with satisfaction.

Justin raised his head to look into the hazel eyes. "Seriously, Brian, I only want it if you can really use me."

"I can really use you. The Henderson account is going to require someone with your level of talent." He shrugged slightly. "And better it be someone who actually understands what I want."

"Are you saying you need me?" Justin teased.

Brian rolled over, effectively blanketing the younger man and pinning him to the bed. "What I need is for you to get rid of these clothes."

With a small smirk, Justin raised his arms and his upper body as much as Brian's weight would permit, allowing the man to whisk his t-shirt away in one fluid motion. He closed his eyes as his lover went to work on his pants, sighing softy when his throbbing dick was released from its confines.

"Perfect," Brian murmured appreciatively as he stroked the now naked body before him with hands and eyes.

"Brian," Justin whispered.

He answered the plea by pushing the younger man's legs up, exposing the tantalizing pucker to his searching tongue.

"God," Justin gasped, gripping the bedsheets with one hand and Brian's hair with the other.

Brian rimmed him to within an inch of his life before reaching for a condom and lube.

When he pushed inside the lithe body, he released a long, deep breath. "Fucking perfect."

Justin moaned. "More perfect if you'd start mov…"

His words trailed into an incoherent moan as Brian established a smooth, deep rhythm, pressing in as far as he could go and rotating his hips slightly to brush against the smaller man's prostrate before slowly pulling out to start all over again.

The pace was slow and unhurried but still rivaled the hardest, most desperate fuck they'd ever experienced in its intensity. It was, Justin realized through a cloud of lust-driven oblivion, the difference between sex and making love and every sensation was pushed to new heights with that knowledge.

As the need climbed between them, all coherent thought was relegated to a fleeting awareness in the back of his mind in favour of just feeling, just experiencing this thing that was theirs alone, that no one else would ever share. He reached the pinnacle in record time, calling Brian's name as he shot his load between their sweaty bodies. Brian followed moments later with a guttural groan.

"Jesus," Justin whispered hoarsely as he lay trying to catch his breath, his lover's slowly softening cock still buried inside him.

With a soft groan, Brian pulled out and rolled to one side, pulling Justin close as though unwilling to be separated. "That was hot."

Justin kissed the hard, sweaty chest gently. "Yeah."

Silence descended upon them as they waited for breathing and heart rates to return to some semblance of normal.

"I was at Kinnetik," Brian finally said quietly.

Justin looked up at him with a questioning frown.

"The other night, when I didn't come home. I was at Kinnetik."

Justin kissed him lightly. "Thank you for telling me that."

Brian huffed a laugh. "Thought I'd practice this whole sharing thing."

"I don't need, or want, for that matter, to know your every move, you know."

"But I promised you we'd be sharing more than a bed when you came home and I haven't exactly lived up to that promise."

"We both fucked up," Justin replied quietly. "I should have told you how I was feeling, what I was thinking."

"Maybe we need to start over."

"Hmm?" Justin murmured, with a small frown.

Before he knew it, Brian was atop him, smiling down into his slightly confused face with a wolfish grin. "Brian, what…"

Brian silenced him with a long, deep, soul-searing kiss. When he finally pulled away, it was to look down at his lover with a much softer smile. "Welcome home, Sunshine."