CHAPTER 41: A LITIGIOUS PITBULL...NOW THAT SHOULD BE INTERESTING

COWPIES II – BACK YARD

MEL

“She’s going to be absolutely fucking furious.”  I murmur and swallow the lump round my throat.  “And you know what’s ironic?”

Zeus looks up from basting the wings.  “Nope.”

“We went for Michael to be the father as we thought he would cause the least trouble!”

“When are you going to tell her?”  He shakes his head in disbelief.  “Still can’t believe it.”

“When we get back home.”  I watch Jenny curl up next to her grandpa and I can see Carl really struggling.  “Think I need to go save Carl from a pitbull pressurising.”

“He doesn’t…”  Zeus looks worried.

“Oh God no!  He loves her very much.  But he’s very honest with her and if she asks a direct question, he’ll answer it.  And she’s a very perceptive girl.”

“Hey Jenny, come give me a hand!”  Debs calls out and I see the relief wash over Carl.

I head to his side.  “How you holding up?”

“Walk with me?”

We walk for 5 minutes towards the back field and lean against the fence and for a while he doesn’t say anything and then I realise why. The big strong papa bear is crying and I do the only thing I can. I hold him.

“She’s going to kill him.”  He sniffles.  “And Zee will help her bury the body.”  He smiles.

“We will help her bury the body.”  Debs’ voice startles us.  “Go on back Mel, I got this.  Come here papa bear, it wi-will be alright…”  She sobs.  “It has to be, lord fuck it has to be.  How could he?”

As I head back to join Leda I sniff and compose myself as I see she’s with Jenny and judging by the expression on her face, she’s this close to cracking.

“Momma I mean it!  I know there is something going on so what is it?”  Jenny demands again.

“Honey we promise to tell you but not tonight. Let’s just have a good time tonight, please?”

She sighs crossly.  “Fine!  But first thing in the morning and if not I’m going to speak to papa bear!  I was this close!”

“At least she uses her tenacious powers for good!”  Leda chuckles.

BRIAN

I’m wrapped round Justin, who is feeding me bits of the short rib stew.

“It’s Thanksgiving in a few days....”

“Uh huh and?”  I kiss the side of his neck.

“Where are we hosting it?  He looks up at me, his eyes pleading.  “Do you think…?”

“Okay twat, let me talk to Faal.  But not today. This is Sol and Menno’s evening.”

“Thank you!”  He burrows further into my lap.  “How many rooms does it have again?”

“Twelve and the cottages can sleep six in each comfortably.”  I look round and do a quick head count.  “Yeah that’s doable.”

“It’s a shame we can’t take the furballs with us.”

“Mmm, but they’re spending Christmas.”   I suck on his neck, causing him to gasp.  “Keep still then.”  I murmur and he giggles.

I catch Faal’s eye and mouth at him and he nods.

ZEE

I watch my family and sigh. I feel strong arms wrap around me and lean back against Zeus.

“So you and Cynthia?”  I nudge him in the stomach gently.  “You realise if you hurt her and there’s anything left by the time she’s done, Brian will be the last person you see?”

“Yeah.  Oh and by the way totally your fault.”

“How the heck do you work that out and where is she by the way?”

“Aquacave and she already had plans for this weekend.”

“Ah so it lowered her defences did it?”  I look up at him and he’s got that dopey look on his face.  “So you going to invite her to ours for Thanksgiving?”

I hear him catch his breath.  “Th…Thanksgiving?  We’re spending it wi-with you?”

“Oh unless you had other plans?  I had assumed that we could…well you know now that…” I trail off embarrassed to have hoped.  “Look I need to sp…speak to Faal be right back.”

He tightens his arms round me.  “Your bros are spending Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year and any other fucking holiday with family from now on.  And this ragamuffin group is now our family.  So yeah, I’ll call Cynthia and ask about Thanksgiving!”  He growls in my ear.  “Now you can go find your husband.”

He gently pushes me away and grabs his phone.  “Hey Cynthia, it’s Zeus…”

I grin and almost skip to Faal.  “So what’s got you so happy?”  He asks giving me a kiss.

“Two things.  One Zeus is bringing Cynthia for Thanksgiving.  Actually, it’s three things.  And he’s making sure the rest of them come.  Two, they’re spending every other fucking holiday with family from now on and…”  I swallow the lump in my throat.  “And three it would seem we’re going to be spending it in Italy correct?”

“Yes, Justin has baby blued his own way again!”  Faal laughs and wipes away my tears.  “Should be interesting.”

“Where’s Sol and Menno and are you going to fess to Menno about your part in Truman and Capote?  And before you do that innocent look, there is no way on God’s green earth that papa came up with that.”

“They were in the barn replacing Brian and Justin’s funk with their own and I bounced the idea off of papa and he bravely placed himself in the line of fire…”

“You’re a wonderful husband but a fucking brilliant brother.”  I give him a tongue filled hip grinding kiss.  “Brietling?”  I murmur against his mouth.

“Good night everyone see you in the morning!”  He yells, dragging me to the annex.

“We’ll turn the music up real loud!”  Zeon shouts.

“You do that!”  Faal shouts back.

As I turn to poke my tongue out at him, I see Brian and Justin heading to the barn.

TALON’S CONDO – LATE EVENING

LOUNGE

MICHAEL

Well so much for rebonding!  Grady’s back to being sniffy with me again.  Lindsay just had to mention the suit from her parents.  I still don’t know what possessed them to decide to do this after all this time.  I’m pretty fucked off about that if I’m honest.

I head to the kitchen to get something to eat.  The boy spies cooked for themselves and have left it in the fridge with do not eat written on it.  Now that was just rude, we share in this house.  It looks nice whatever it is. I think it’s chicken mixed with something else.  I heat it up in the microwave and take it back to the lounge to finish watching my movie.

I don’t care what they want to say… these movies are a classic.  This time it’s X-Men.  The food has an unusual texture but it’s very good but could do with more seasoning.

I hear the basement door open and see Gerald heading to the kitchen and feel smug that it’s them that has to do take out this time!

“Michael?”  He calls out. I stop eating waiting for him to come in, as I want to see his face when he sees me eating.

“In here!”  I call out, then he comes in he’s carrying a very cute looking dog.  “Why are you carrying a dog?”

“Because he needs feeding and…”

“Let me rephrase that.  Why is there a dog in this place?”  I slowly put a spoonful of food in my mouth, savouring it.

“It’s a surprise for Miss Talon.  We’ve been asked to look after them whilst she’s away and…”

“Away?  Where’s she going?”  Another spoonful.

“Just away and…”

“Gerald!  What’s taking so long?”  Jason calls out.

“Come and have a look?”  He calls back.  “We’re in the lounge!”

Jason comes in with another dog. He stares at me and then looks to Gerald.  “Is he eating what I think he’s eating?”

“Yes and he’s savouring every bite!”  He snipes.

“What are they?”  I ask, scraping the bowl clean and licking my lips.

“Dobermann puppies.  Did you enjoy that?  Looks like you did.  So did you leave them any?”

“I did, though it could’ve done with a touch more salt and…them? What do you mean them?”

“You’ve just eaten their dinner.  That’s why we wrote the note on the dish so that people wouldn’t eat dog food.”  Jason snipes and hands the puppy to Gerald.  “I’m going to see how much is left!”

“Dog food!”  I squeak and start to wipe my tongue on my sleeve.

“For fuck sake!”  Jason shouts and Gerald makes his way swiftly to kitchen. I follow, still disgusted at what I’ve eaten.

Just as we both arrive, Medea comes in chatting with Grady and Lindsay.  

“What’s going on?”  Medea asks, stroking one of the puppy’s ears.

“Oh aren’t they just darling!”  Lindsay coos.  “May I?”  She reaches for one but Gerald steps back.

“Sorry Lindsay but they’re hungry and tend to get a bit bitey when they’re hungry.”

“Oh in that case it's fine.”  She steps back.

“Half… he fucking ate half of it!”  Jason growls and glares at me.

“Oh nice, Michael, just great!  You ate the dogs’ food?”  Medea stares incredulously at me.  “What is wrong with you?!”

She looks in the dish and shakes her head muttering about selfishness and assholes.  “Okay.  Just blend this down for now and add the kibble.  I can make up some more but it will take time.  Shall I get extra tripe and trotters for you on my next shopping trip Michael?”

“Tripe?  Trotters?”  I ask weakly and feel my stomach start to roll.

“So what are their names?”  Grady asks.

“Not sure. Miss Talon has to name them first, since they are her dogs.”  Medea replies over her shoulder.  “And nobody is to tell her about them. They’re a surprise.”  She warns.

I look round at them nodding like fucking dogs and shake my head at their patheticness.

“I mean it!  She finds out before she’s supposed to and I find out whoever told her, they will answer to me.  And trust me you won’t like that!”

The puppies make short work of their food and look expectantly up at us.  “Don’t look at us!  Look at the asshole over there.”  Medea jabs a finger in my direction. I scowl and storm out.

LOUNGE

LINDSAY

I quickly follow Michael and, of course, he’s on the phone!  I quickly snatch it off him.

“Oh for heaven sake Michael! Can you stop being so fucking childish?”

“Give me my phone Lindsay!”  He snaps, standing up and trying to reach for it.  “That’s private!”

“So you weren’t attempting to ruin Talon’s surprise?”  He folds his arms and glares at me.

I look at his phone and he was part way through a message to her.  “Why Michael?  Why can’t you just let people have things to themselves?”

“Did you contact her parents?”  Grady asks, switching off the DVD.

“No I haven’t and why should she have nice things?!”  He snaps.  “I’ve had to scrimp and save for things I wanted…”

“Using other people’s money.  Hardly the same!”  Grady interrupts.

“How are you and I different again Grady?  You took the money and abandoned your kid…”

“And you dragged your kids to court to try and force them to be with you so that Kinney would continue to support you and her. No Lindsay, you aren’t innocent in this. You both did it!  But at least Lindsay is trying to move on with her life. You’re just stuck in a never ending pattern of ‘woe-is-fucking-me I didn’t get what I want so I’m going to spoil it for everyone else!’”

“You know nothing about my life, how hard it was for me!”  He shouts.

Grady raises an eyebrow.  “Tell me then!  Help me understand what happened to you in your formative years to make you like this now?”

“Do you have any idea what it was like having to watch him suffer?”  Michael mutters, eyes glistening.  “Having to help him every time, getting him patched up and being unable to do anything to stop it.”

Grady and I just stare at Michael and then he slowly starts to hand clap.

“Grady?”  He looks confusedly at him.  “You weren’t there.  You don’t know…”

“How much it hurt Brian?  No I don’t know.”  He admits.  “But I do know that it was Brian who went through it, not you.  It was Brian who protected you from the bullies in school.  It was Brian who got you started with Red Cape.  It was Brian who continued to bail you out.  But it was Justin who put a stop to it and it was Brian that let himself be stopped!  And it kills you that you know that Brian doesn’t do anything that he doesn’t want to do!”

Amazingly enough his tears dry up quickly and he glares at us before turning on his heel and stalking to the door, slamming it hard behind him.

COWPIES II – DAWN SUNDAY MORNING

BARN

BRIAN

We were covered up at some point last night. Considering we’re both naked, I suspect it was Debs.  There’s a hammering on the barn door and Justin starts to shift himself awake.

“Uncle Brian!  Uncle Justin you need to come out now!”  Jenny yells.

“Babe, come on let’s go.”  We look round for our clothes. Now I know it was Debs because they are neatly draped on the stall wall and our boots lined up underneath.

I pick out the straw from his hair and he does the same and tries to flatten my barn-head.  He just shakes his out and he’s good to go…the twat!

We make our way out and find the family round the fire pit.  “How come we didn’t notice the fire pit?”  I whisper to Justin, who just shrugs and grabs a seat and pulls me down next to him.

“Come on you two!”  Jenny is badgering Faal and Zee to hurry up and join us.

“What’s the hurry?”  I look round.  “And shouldn’t we all be in bed in the nice warm ranch right over there?”

“We’re coming!  We just need to get the rest and then we’re good.”  Faal tells her.  “Now sit down.”

She flops into a chair and is clearly struggling to stay awake.  “Jenny why…”

“Wait Aunt Zee is coming.”  She smiles tiredly at me and then her.  “And finally we’re ready, right?”

“Yes we’re ready.  Okay family, we have a rather unusual dessert and vodka combination.  First the dessert is white chocolate and cherry cheesecake with red mirrored white chocolate glaze and everyone, watered down and parents permitting, can have a shot of Black Cow Pure Milk vodka.”

“Milk vodka?”  Justin looks sceptical but takes a glass anyway.

“Trust me.”  She grins.

He takes a sip and then knocks back the rest.  “Oh I’ll have another one of them!”

I knock mine back and lick my lips.  “It’s softer and creamy. Is it actually made of milk?”

“The leftover whey from the cheese making process.  Friend of mine shipped it to me.  So what do you all think?”

“How many bottles do you have of it?”  Ben is reaching for another glass.

“Ten left unopened.”  Faal replies.  “This is really good.  We’re going to have to get at least another crate to cover the wedding, blessing and Christmas.”

“Actually make that two…no three crates.”  Debs giggles.  “Each house, well apart from Ted and Blake, gets a bottle to take home with them.  The Queen has spoken.”

Jenny goes to say something but is cut off by Gus.  “Does that include the Brownstone?”

“No!”  Mel and Leda say together.

“Hey we’re grown-ups here!”  Matt objects.

“Only just.   So, still no.”  Faal tells him before turning to Zee.  “Let’s get them shipped to Italy this time. It will be cheaper and then we can just bring them home.  Is the place set up already?”

“Yeah all done.  Just need to order food and we’re good to go.  Mom is staying in Portland with Vince and Daph. Uncle Lucian and Aunt Dee are going to Bermuda so it will be me, Emmy and Tom doing it.”  She turns to Sol.  “So you guys coming to Italy or you want to have your Thanksgiving here and the rest of the year in Portland?”

“Italy?”  Sol asks.

“Yeah we were, well it was Justin’s idea, thinking of spending Thanksgiving in Italy in the Pasta Palace. Don’t scowl at me Faal, it's you and Brian’s fault!”

“Italy? Are you kidding?”  Talon squeals.

“No but if you guys would rather…”

“Italy!  The Queen has spoken…again!”  Debs declares and everyone is grinning.

Jenny stands up and wobbles slightly through tiredness.  “Right now that’s that all sorted.  It’s morning now so just tell me!”

The smiles die on our faces. “I know that look it’s the Michael or Lindsay has fucked us over again look so what has happened this time?!”

Ben pulls her down next to him and we explain what we know so far.

“Sixty thousand fucking dollars!”  Zee snarls pacing.  “And that’s the full collection he has now, but not the car?”

“Yeah.”  Mel replies.  “Adam is looking into it with Pearl and we’re going to get Chase to represent Ben in this.  We can’t because we're too close to it.”

Jenny up until then hasn’t said a word.  “When did you say he got this Twatmobile?”

“2012/13 I think why?”  Mel and I exchange looks.

“And he got it in Portland?” Jenny is jabbing at the cheesecake and eating in small sharp bites.  “So where is it?  It must be fucking somewhere, he must be paying storage fees or have a garage somewhere.  Because you know that trifling fucktard wouldn’t have anything like that just out in the open like that!”

“Trifling fucktard?”  Leda repeats.

“Wait... oh Jenny you are definitely a Marcus!”  Ted exclaims.  “Ben when did you and Michael stop having a joint account?”

“2014.”

“And you were in charge of household and joint finances right?”  Ted’s got that gleam on.

“Yes…oh I see!  It must have gone through Red Cape or he had another account somewhere to have the money paid into.”

“Exactly.  And I bet it went through Red Cape because it’s a collectible!”   Ted is making notes and grinning.  “Right first thing on Monday, we go through the accounts to see when it was. Talon I need you to speak to this Riley guy and see if it was a transfer, a personal or a cashier’s check that he paid for it with.”

“And I bet you anything that the car won’t be the only thing in there!”  Zee snarls again.

We all look at her in confusion.  “Yes you took what was in his store.  And Debs you sold his stuff back to him.  But the rest all went when Ronald made him sell it all.  But knowing what we know now, I don’t think that it’s all he’s got.  Not by a long chalk.”

“Ted, is he still paying the reduced amount for the loan?”  Justin demands, stroking my thighs.

“Yes. I think he is…that stops Monday I take it?”

“Absolutely.”  Justin reaches behind and palms my cock.

“Oh that fucking bastard!”  Ralph yells and immediately takes Talon’s phone.  “Honey can you give me the code for your phone and you can change it afterwards, please?!”

“Uh. Sure.  5587.  Why?  What’s going on?”

“Please Talon, one moment.  Jenny, can you help me please?”  He hands the phone to Jenny.  “Anything from him in there that is about you-know-what can you delete please?”

“Of course.”  Her face is grim as she checks the phone.  “Got them all.  And I’ve set it up so that all emails and texts from him are automatically forwarded to you and deleted from here.”

“Thank you.”  He hands the phone back to Talon, who looks as confused as we do.  “Now Talon, you do realise that when we find it, it’s yours unless he can repay the loan…”

“Loans and promise fund!”  Jenny hisses.  “There’s the one for Uncle Brian and Uncle Justin, the one to Aunt Talon and the promise fund one is for me!”

“Promise fund?  What are you talking about about?!”  Mel demands.

“He promised to pay for my college fund and he reneged on that promise.  So as far as I’m concerned from the time he stopped to the time we got emancipated, he owes me that money!”

“But that’s covered by the money that he owes to Brian and Justin…”  Ted tries to explain.

“No it isn’t.  I’m glad I kept it but fucking angry that I had to.”  She hands her phone to Mel who reads it and gasps and then hands it to Ted.

“What is it?”  Debs demands.

“It’s an email from Michael.  He promises to return the money he didn’t pay to her college fund to her.”

“Give me that!”  Sol reads it and smiles.  “Okay, get this over to Chase later on and let them handle it. I’ll speak to them on Monday.”

“Okay people!”  Carl stands up and stretches.  “Time for bed.  The plane gets here at four.  Fuck I still can’t believe this is my life.  Me a beat detective on a private plane!”

“Fucking great isn’t it!”  Debs cackles.

TALON’S CONDO – SUNDAY MID-MORNING

MICHAEL’S BEDROOM

MICHAEL

My stomach has finally settled down.  After eating that swill yesterday, I spent a rather long time in the bathroom.   I uncurl myself from the ball under my blankets and smile to myself. She should have gotten the pictures by now.  I wonder who she’s screwed to get two pedigree Dobermann puppies.

I get up and the first thing that hits me is the smell and the second thing is the feeling of dog crap between my toes!

“Ugh for fuck sake!”  I yell, hopping up and down.  Oh that’s just gross!”

My shouting brings down Medea, who puts her hand over her mouth and for the first time apologises profusely.  “I’m not sure how they got in!”  She looks round the room.  “Here wipe your feet with this.”

I grab the thing from her and clean off the dog crap.  “They’re not still in here, are they?”

I look round and can’t see them but then I can smell something else.  The smell is stronger as I near the TV and then I notice something dripping from the bottom of the set.

“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!”  I yell.

“What’s wrong now?”

“They’ve pissed on my TV!  It’s ruined!”

“I don’t know what to say!”  She stammers.

“Nothing! You can’t say any fucking thing!”  I storm to the bathroom.  “Get out!”

I slam the bathroom door then I look at the cloth in my hand and it’s my vintage Captain Astro tee shirt!

MEDEA

“Well, you were warned not to tell Talon and you did.  Now let’s hit send!”